Days go by

Wow. So yesterday Elly turned 6 months old. Like, officially. Really. Six months.

Please keep any smart comments to yourself about how it's time for me to be pregnant again. It's not funny. And I'm getting a little tired of people saying it.

So when I realized yesterday that Elly was officially 6 months old I wasn't really sure how to feel about it. But mostly I think I'm in shock. And a little apprehensive about the future. With Evie the 6 month mark was kind of the turning point. It was when she stopped being a useless squab and started playing with toys and interacting and pulling up on the furniture. Then one day she started crawling. It seemed like the day after she started walking. Then running.

Six months was the beginning of her not being a "baby" anymore.

Elly is definitely, probably, more than likely my last baby. And while I don't particularly love the squab phase, since this is the last time I will get to experience it, it makes me sad to think that it is ending. I just love little chubby legs and the soft baby smells and snoring babies sleeping on me. I will really miss those things. Far too soon, Elly will be crawling and walking and running all over. Then she will lose all the sweet baby rolls and sweet baby smells. She will be a toddler. Then a preschooler.

What I'm trying to say is it's all going by too fast.

I'm dismayed. Disoriented. Discontented. Disgusted. I'm running out of "dis" words...

Evie's going to be 2 in a week and Elly will be 1 far too soon. And before I have time to take a breath they're probably going to be teenagers. What on earth can I do?

Well, of course nothing.

Elly is sitting up completely solo now. Not even having to use her hands and "frog sit" anymore. She still needs a boppy around her or else she gets excited and throws herself backwards. This morning for the first time I left Elly sitting in her Boppy in the living room and came back and she was lying on her back about 6 inches away from where I left her. Gooing, kicking and incredibly proud of herself. I'm pretty sure she leaned forward and got onto her tummy, army crawled a few inches and then rolled over. It's not very impressive progress. Nonetheless, it is movement. And with babies it seems like one week they are completely incapable of doing something. The next they are doing it as if they were born able. It's amazing. Babies are amazing little critters.

Evie is saying new words every day. Now I have to carry on conversation with her in the car. Which is cool. But also new and different and a lot of pressure. I'm used to just listening to my music or catching up on my phone calls during car rides. But no more! But it's neat. Evie actually talking and stuff.

It is just blowing my mind how quick it all happens. Days turn into weeks turn into years. I could just cry.

Christmas in July

Well, I have officially started Christmas shopping.


I've already gotten a couple of things for Evie. One thing for Elly. I feel bad that I don't really have much purchased for Elly yet. But I will. Trust me. I have a list made of EVERYTHING I want to get for them both. Just haven't actually gotten it all yet. I already have my budget made. I've gotten Josh's approval on all of it. All that remains is to purchase it.

And I've already ordered the clothes for the girls for Christmas. I hope Elly doesn't have a HUGE growth spurt between now and Christmas. I was kinda guessing based on her growth so far and what size Evie was in at 10 months old. Elly has stayed a little smaller than Evie so far. So unless Elly gains more than 7 lbs in less than 5 months we should be fine. Evie could wear a size 12 month up until about 12 months. Though we put her in a 12-18 month size before her first birthday and it wasn't too big by any means. 

I've even ordered Evie's Halloween outfit. I know what Elly is going to be. My mom is actually making most of Elly's costume. It's going to be adorable and I'm SOOO excited.

So, you can safely say I'm ready for the end of summer. I was thinking this morning while I got the babies dressed that I wish when I stepped outside I was greeted by crisp autumn air, orange leaves and the smells of fall. But I wasn't. Instead I was greeted by hot, humid air. Ugh. Well, it won't be too much longer, I know.

I am so excited!

I used to be a movie lover

I really miss watching movies. Watching movies was something I used to do all the time. I have this huge collection of DVDs. Movies that I used to watch over and over again. We have had Netflix for five years. And have seen a ton of movies through their fabulous flat-rate rental program. Then I had kids. And now, between work and babies and running around I rarely have time for such things. Honestly, I consider it an accomplishment if I have enough time to take a shower every day. Let alone watch a movie. There just aren't enough hours in the day anymore!

I hate that there isn't enough time too. There are all these older movies that I think that I would really LOVE to watch again. But there are only so many hours in the day. And there are all these new movies coming out all the time that I want to see! Plus TV shows that I'm a little obsessed with.

It's sad.

So, tomorrow night my toddler is going to spend the night with my in-laws. She'll be about 90 minutes away. And while I will really miss her I am kinda looking forward to a bit of a break. And my husband and I were excitedly discussing that we can catch up on our movies while she's gone. Sad, that it's the thing we're most looking forward to. That and a small chance at getting to sleep in Sunday morning. That might be nice.

The almost-two-year-old is definitely the high-maintenance kid at this point. Between tantrums and potty-training, books and Dora obsessions...well, let's just say my blood pressure is probably permanently elevated. It is frustrating and draining to try and deal with her. She's now talking enough that most of the time we communicate on a pretty even kilter. But when she can't say what she needs or I just can't understand her, she melts down. And for some reason she has been very malicious towards her sister the last few days. Of course, Elly is really at the peak of teething with her front bottom two. One is actually cutting through right now. So there's been a lot of whining and fussing from her. So maybe a bit of a break will do Evie some good too.

The 6 month-old will be staying home. She's too particular about who takes care of her and how she goes to sleep. Plus I don't know that I'm ready for her to be away from me for an entire night. Okay, in all honesty, I'm really not ready for a night completely baby free. I think I would have a panic attack and just sit in the corner and cry for a while. It's scary to think of.

But while we won't be baby-free, with just Elly at home, things will feel practically too easy. The few occasions I have had to have just one of my munchkins at home since the second was born, life has felt just TOO easy.

So I'm planning on getting some work done around the house. Getting my big grocery trip out of the way for the month. Getting the yard cleaned up some in preparation for Evie's party in a couple of weeks. Painting the deck some more. And watching movies.

We've got some DVR to watch. But that'll wait til whenever. We have a movie in from Netflix and two in from Blockbuster. I know it seems a little crazy to have both subscriptions. But it's only until August 20. That is when we will cancel our Netflix subscription. Because I'm really aggravated with them for hiking up their rates so much. And I have really fallen in love with Blockbuster during my 2 week free trial. Being able to switch them out at the store is AWESOME. Plus I get to see Blu-rays instead of DVDs. And I don't pay any extra. Yes, I have given up streaming. But a lot of the movies I want to watch aren't available to stream. And the main time I would like to stream movies is at work when we're super slow and of course Netflix is blocked at work. I don't really use the streaming. Like, at all. So I don't think I will miss it. Josh is excited about possibly getting to rent some games through the Blockbuster subscription.

So for at least a day, I will get to once more be a movie lover. I won't have to watch Dora the Explorer. It will be awesome!

Preparing for Christmas

My husband was not in the least bit surprised when I called to tell him I had bought Evie a Christmas present. I don't think he'd be surprised if he came home tomorrow to find that the Christmas tree had already been put up. Though he would be VERY unhappy. In fact, unhappy is a serious understatement. But he wouldn't be surprised.

It's because I am an absolute NUT for Christmas.

I cannot explain exactly why, but I absolutely love the holiday. And since I've had children, my love has become a bit of an obsession. As spectacular as the holiday is, it is even more magical when you have children.

And now that I have two I feel like I really need to get started with the shopping aspect NOW.

How ridiculous right? I know. I do. But at the same time, financially speaking it will be much easier to spend $20 here or $50 there several times over the course of the next several months instead of spending a couple hundred all at once in December. And as far as time management, spreading out the shopping over several months will make it much easier as well. While I do a lot of shopping online, eliminating that pesky process of finding someone to watch the babies so I can go into a store, I do a lot of research on prices and sales and finding EXACTLY what I want to get.

And a big reason for getting it done early? I want to really SAVOR the holiday season. I know that Christmas isn't about the gifts that they get or anything else with a price tag. But I LOVE to give presents. So giving other people things is a great joy for me. And I do invest some time in figuring out exactly what I want to give everyone. So I want to get that out of the way because I want to make sure I get to spend LOTS and LOTS of time in December with family and friends. Especially my kids. Little Elly will be mobile by then. Maybe even walking. And Evie will be old enough that we can really get her into the Christmas thing. Talk to her about Jesus' birthday and Santa . We can go to Christmas plays, watch Christmas movies, read books and color pictures involving Christmas, bake cookies together and make crafts.

See, I have such high hopes and ambitions for the holiday! Is there any wonder that I'm excited 5 months early?

When I was little Christmas was always a big deal. I have always loved family get-togethers and family traditions and Christmas was kinda the only holiday that we always did the EXACT same thing every year. We always had supper at my grandparents' on Christmas Eve and then (until they passed away) lunch at my great grandparents' on Christmas Day. I loved it! My mom would make sugar cookies during the Christmas season and she always let me do the cookie cutter part and while we baked Christmas tunes would play from the stereo. We always decorated the tree as a family, listening to the same Christmas tapes every year.

And every year we would watch the same Christmas movies over and over between Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve. A Christmas Story. Rudolph. Frosty. It's a Wonderful Life. How the Grinch Stole Christmas. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation. Oh my gosh. I just love those movies. And of course, you don't watch those movies except for that one month of the year. It'd be weird to drag them out and watch them in February. Or August. No matter how much you like watching them, you don't really want to see them the rest of the year. Maybe because you watch them repeatedly during the holiday season. Who knows. Either way. I relished it the repeats and the all day marathons and the encore presentations.

I have such warm, fuzzy memories from the holidays of my childhood I want my children to have the same. And honestly, no other holiday means as much to me as Christmas. It's really the only one I get into and the only one I love. So of course I get excited about it. And heck, Christmas only comes once a year. This year I get to shop for THREE kids. My two girls and my wonderful nephew. Boy oh boy!

Tough to be a Toddler

I was trying to help Evie explain to me what was wrong over the weekend when it sort of dawned on me. My goodness! It must be so hard to be a toddler. I don't think I've ever really thought about how hard it must be for her. Not that I've been terribly insensitive (at least I don't think so) about her two-year-old issues. But I don't think it's really ever clicked for me how tough it must be.

Can you imagine having the mental capacity to feel and imagine and think all that a two-year-old can, without having the words to convey any of it. A two-year-old just doesn't have the life experience to explain what's going on. Hell, I'm (almost) 26 and I don't have the ability to explain what's wrong sometimes. Sometimes even I just want to sit in the floor and cry for a couple of minutes. So how can I blame her?

Silly as it seems, this realization has totally renewed my outlook on the terrible twos. The last couple of weeks, with all of Evie's sleep problems, potty training, possibly getting molars and a random stomach thing, I have been so unbelievably tired of her. Horrible. I know. But it seems like she's good for everyone else, and the moment we're alone she's a little demon spawn. She's beating on her sister's head with a plastic elephant. She's slapping me for telling her no. She's throwing the remote at the television because I won't let her watch ANOTHER episode of Dora. She's screaming and throwing her pull-up at me because she doesn't want to go potty. She's ripping pages out of her books and pulling all of her clothes out of her drawers and pouring her juice out in the floor just because she can.

I'm at my wits end with her! I honestly don't even know what to do. In tears the other night I asked Josh what we were doing wrong. Why had our once sweet baby become this hateful creature? He just shrugged. I have asked so many of my fellow parent friends what's wrong with her and everyone just keeps assuring me it's terrible twos.

So, realizing that so many of our problems lately have been due to some serious communication break-downs has really changed my mood. Communications is my thing. I love language and learning everything about it. One of my favorite classes in college was History of the English language. Did you know that English is one of the most difficult languages to learn? Because English is a bastard language, derived from Germanic roots and an attempt to blend in French vocabulary. So many of its rules have exceptions and but's. It's incredibly difficult to learn! Look, you learned something today!

So the idea that Evie's behavior problems are stemming not from a discipline issue but a communication issue completely changes the game for me. I had no idea how to change my discipline tactics to adapt to Evie's increasing outbursts and defiance. Putting her in time-out either made her more angry or completely crushed her ego most of the time, neither of which is the purpose of time-out. I don't want Evie to see me as an evil and ruthless dictator. I'm her parent. I love her. I want her to KNOW that I love her. While I don't want her to think she has nothing to fear from breaking the rules, I also don't want her to fear me. Does that make sense? I don't want to beat her because she throws a fit. It seems counterproductive. And cruel. A smack on the bottom may be a necessary form of discipline but hitting her for hitting someone else seems to be a rather mixed message. So, I felt like none of my discipline techniques were working. And now I understand why! Because discipline wasn't the issue!

Since this epiphany, I have taken a different approach to life with Evie and ya know what? It has worked! Of course, Evie does still have tantrums because she's mad that she isn't getting her way. And for those a time out has sufficed.

(Humorous side note: I told Evie to got to time-out for hitting her sister. She pointed at the potty and said she needed to Potty. I was pretty upset over the hitting her sister and told Evie no, that she need time-out. I was assuming that she was just using the potty as an excuse to avoid time out, because she is pretty wily. She picked up her potty and carried it with her to the time-out corner. Too funny!)

But when she has a meltdown for no apparent reason I have sat down with her and asked her to try to explain what was wrong. Through asking yes and no questions, I've usually been able to figure it out and usually it's frustration over not being able to say exactly what she wants that is causing her to scream and cry.

Her mind is growing so fast that it's astounding! But she still doesn't always have the words to say what she means. How frustrating that must be. Every day she says new words. Yesterday she said "bunk bed," "check book," "orange" and "money." She thanked a clerk at the store and told him bye. It's so amazing to see. But as fast as she's learning new things to say, she understands so much more. She's starting to understand letters and numbers and math and rhymes. She gets feelings and schedules and time (not by a clock, but prepositional time, like before and after and later). She's beginning to show some real compassion and empathy for her little sister and even sharing and playing with her. Evie's imagination has grown in leaps and bounds as well. She has little tea parties for her animals and pretends to be a super hero "flying" up and down the hall.

But I can't imagine how frustrating it must be to understand SO much and not be able to express it. So I'm practicing a bit more compassion and trying to be more understanding when she melts down instead of being upset and frustrated. So far, it seems to be helping.

And they call it Puppy Love

Evie loves Mushu. Loves him.

They are best buds. And it is just adorable.

Especially watching her walk him on the leash. And she "corrects" him and if he doesn't listen she tells him he's bad. Or hearing peals of laughter from the back seat when we're going home.

See, my mom has a boarding kennel and grooming parlor for dogs (and cats) and does day care during the day. Since she typically has a wide variety of pups staying with her, I like to take Mushu for day care when I take the girls so he can run off some energy, go for a walk, etc. So Mushu goes with us every day.

I love looking back in my rearview mirror and seeing Evie and Mushu doing something cute.

Like snuggling. Or playing some sort of strange toddler-terrier game. Or just gazing out the window.

Evie insists that she be the only one to hold Mushu's leash. In fact, drama inevitably occurs every time we get in and out of the car because to put on her seat belt she has to temporarily relinquish Mushu's leash. She's gotten better lately. But man, some days it is impossible to deal with the screaming and flailing when I ask her to please hand me his leash while she gets strapped into her car seat.

Mushu was acquired as my dog. Josh has his beagle, Emily. And I had my little terrier. The teensy dog who needs sweaters in the winter and gets excited about wearing a coat in the rain. Until Evie came along, he was definitely the baby of the house. He got Christmas presents from the grandparents and got to go to holiday get-togethers. Then Evie came along and he went from being the center of attention to being another responsibility. Bless his heart.

Despite her stealing his spot in our lives and all of our attention, Mushu doesn't hold a grudge. At least not against Evie. He has become her constant companion. Follows her around. Plays with her. Worries about her if she gets hurt or stays the night somewhere else. He's a good boy.

Evie loves that little dog. And I think the little dog loves her. Heck, I'm sure he does.

At least most of the time. When she steps on him. Or body slams him. Or steals his toys. Or puts soap in his food bowl. Or pours his food into his water. Or screams at him. Those might be times where he feels less of that warm, fuzzy devotion.

A dog is a good pet for a kid. Loving. Protective. Forgiving. I think forgiveness is important in any relationship. But especially when dealing with a toddler. They still struggle with compassion and empathy and all those emotions that can be so important in a friendship.

But this is love.

You see his little leg over the car seat? And her little arm thrown over his shoulders? Precious.

Discipline

It's something I hope all parents dedicate some serious thinking to. How to discipline your kids.

These days it's something that society even spends a lot of time debating. Positive reinforcement vs. negative reinforcement. Corporal punishment vs. bribes. To spank or not to spank. I know what the psychologists say. I know what doctors, lawyers and other parents say. But I really don't think it's anyone else's business how I choose to raise my kids. Or for that matter how any other parent chooses to raise theirs.

There is a line which should never be crossed. And that's abuse. But I think that the line between discipline and abuse can be fuzzy for some people. Some people see spanking as cruel. Punishments that I received as a child could get DSS called now. And I think that's a little ridiculous. I am no worse for wear after being spanked as a child. But the excuse of "I survived" isn't a reason in itself to choose to spank.

I feel like each child has an appropriate method of discipline. Everyone is different. For some kids, receiving a spanking would completely break their spirit. They would be crushed, devastated. For others, a spanking is the only way they can comprehend that an action should not be repeated. For some children, a sticker chart with a clearly defined reward system in place works perfectly. They beat themselves up for making a mistake and not obtaining that coveted sticker. While another child would never put forth any effort for a stupid old sticker.

Parents should know which method works for their children. And they should be allowed to choose. Society should not dictate whether or not a parent is allowed to spank their child. Spanking isn't child abuse.

A lot of things that there are no legal punishments for could be considered abuse though. Like letting kids get obese. It could be argued that parents who feed their children unhealthy foods, allow them to sit around watching TV and therefore allow their children to become obese (and develop all the health problems related to childhood obesity) are practicing a much more destructive form of abuse than parents who choose spanking. Or how about parents who hold their child to such a high standard that they have no self-esteem, become anorexic and self-abusive? Aren't those parents abusive? Parents who spend no time with their children, allowing day cares, teachers and baby sitters to raise their kids? Couldn't that be seen as cruel?

There are plenty of situations where a spanking isn't appropriate. A spanking should not cause any injury. A spanking should be a last resort, not the first step, for punishment. But whether or not I spank my child should be up to me and my husband. No one else.