Facebook rules but what about when my kids want one?

Do you ever stop and think about how different the world is since Facebook?

No, I'm totally serious.

When I was in elementary and middle school I participated in pen pal programs. We would write to kids in other states or other parts of the world and thought it was soooo cool. Think how silly that must seem to kids today. Wow. Write a letter to a kid and then wait two weeks to get one back? Gosh, why? Now we can have a video chat with kids on the other side of the world instantly. You can do video tours of museums, landmarks, zoos. You can see the world from your computer desk. Heck, with tablets and smart phones now, you can see the world from a park bench, a local cafe, heck, while using the john!

How bizarre our children will think our childhoods were.We didn't even have cell phones until we were teenagers. They'll wonder how the heck we kept up with all of our friends. How we got in touch with someone. What we did with our free time. How we survived without apps and navigation and games at our fingertips all the time. It's wild to think about.

Technology is one thing. But Facebook. Now Facebook is amazing. And scary. And has really changed how society functions.

I admit I'm absolutely obsessed with Facebook. I post pictures all the time, I update my status several times a day at minimum, I'm friends with people from work, college, high school. I get status updates via text message from my close friends and family and I have the Facebook app on my Droid. Yeah. Obsessed.

A lot of negative can come from Facebook. Hi-tech bullying for example or stalking. But a great deal of positive as well.

My church's women's group has a page where we post prayer requests, talk about issues and events in our lives. We support each other, offer up advice and plan benefits. It's a great way to keep up with events going on at the church. Since our church is kind of large, its a wonderful way to get to know all of the other women better. I've gotten to know some of them much better and it has really made me feel more at home in the church.

Another benefit from Facebook is keeping up with my family from across the country. I get to see pictures of cousins and new babies and know what's going on in their lives. I get to offer support when something goes wrong and celebrate when things go right. It helps keep us close when the busy bustle of our daily lives doesn't allow us the time to talk. And with all the kids and hurried schedules, we don't frequently have time to talk.

Facebook even offers the chance to reconnect with friends you haven't spoken to in years. People from high school or college that you just haven't been able to stay in touch with since you've moved away and started your life in the real world.

A lot of the time, we focus on the negative aspects of Facebook. People getting in trouble for things they post about their boss, people over sharing about their lives, people posting some really inappropriate pictures, or kids seeing things they shouldn't see. We think about how much it has taken away. The barriers people used to have in the lives and the privacy we thought we all needed. Those don't exist now. Not for those of us in the Social Network generation. For better or worse, that's what we deal with.

I really dread the day that my kids want a Facebook page. I don't know how I will handle it. And I know with the way things move, that day will be coming sooner rather than later. A lot sooner than I want. I don't see how I can not let them have one when I spend so much of my time and energy with Facebook. Of course, their Facebook usage, and internet usage in general will be very closely monitored. I'm going to be one of those mean parents that has parental controls on all the computers and blocks. I'll be reading text messages, emails, status updates, monitoring pictures. I've seen how much a hasty upload can do to someone's future. The wrong picture could turn up on the internet when they're trying to get into college or get a job.  It could ruin them.

There are a lot of complications for parents in the Social Network generation. With technology more and more advanced...I can't imagine what will be around by the time my girls are starting school. Compare technology today to technology five years ago. It can blow your mind. I get a little panicky just thinking about it. Especially with two little girls. I don't know, I just worry more about girls than boys.

But who knows, maybe the Facebook thing won't last and by the time my kids are old enough to want a page it'll have just died off.

Yeah...right.

UPDATE: Duck Grows

So, last Saturday, Evie acquired her first "for her" pet. I took the girls and met Mimi at the local Tractor Supply and we bought some chickens. Six to be exact and one of those has spots on his back and became Evie's chicken.

That chick's name is Duck. And I know you're all dying to know how he's doing.

Well, he's great. He's grown. Evie is still infatuated with him. She wants to go check on him every day first thing when we get to Mimi's. It's positively adorable. This summer we are planning on letting her interact with the chicks a lot. I hope that as a result when the chickens are adults they are still friendly and approachable. I am really excited about the future friendship for Evie and these chicks!

When our children surprise us

Before Elly was born I was afraid of how Evie would change when she was no longer an only child. I worried that she would be jealous. Regress. Become mean or lash out. I tried to prepare myself for a less-lovable Evie. I fretted over whether or not the negative changes would be long-term.

Shame on me for never even considering that Evie could mature a bit and become even sweeter and more affectionate than before.

Shame. On. Me.

Well, I have learned. Evie has adapted and overcome any odds and is just loving life as a big sister. Her latest accomplishment: feeding Elly a bottle. I wish I was able to get a better picture but I have to help hold the little baby while making sure that the big baby isn't shoving the bottle down her throat.

 Evie is just the sweetest big sister.

This morning I marveled as Evie brought Elly some baby toys from her room after I commented that "Sissy seems bored." Evie even put them in Elly's hand and showed her how to shake the rattle and tried to help her chew on a teething toy.

Elly just smiled and cooed and giggled. Doing the happy baby leg kick the whole time. It was adorable. That lil girl ADORES her big sister. It melts my heart to see the way she watches Evie.

 

Of course for Elly there has never been life without Evie. I don't know if Evie remembers a life without Elly or not. If she does, she won't by the time Elly is up walking and talking. Since Evie is virtually always with Elly, more so than anyone else in her life, Elly is unbelievably attached and devoted to her big sister. 

Although Evie has her less than altruistic moments (don't we all?), she seems to by-and-large feel the same for Elly. She frets when we leave Sissy with Daddy or Mimi. Or whenever the two of them are separated.

I had hoped and prayed that one day, when Evie and Elly were older, they would develop a closeness and a bond that I always wanted when I was a little girl. I imagine sisters to share a connection that no other relationship can rival for the rest of their lives and when I was young I had always wanted a sister. I had hoped that this bond would be forged once they were older and able to share activities and hobbies. To my surprise they seem to already share a close relationship. I am overjoyed. Shocked. Amazed. And incredibly happy about it.

Isn't it funny when our children surprise us? This is the kind of surprise I like.

Life is like a box of chinese food

No really. I've decided. It's just like a Dinner Special #1 with an egg roll.

Since I'm sure you don't have the local Chinese menu memorized, like I do, let me tell you what a #1 is. It's Sesame Chicken and pork fried rice with choice of egg roll or cheese wonton. It was one of my favorite meals when I was pregnant and I probably ate it two or three times a month when I was at work. One of the best parts is that the meal is so big that even preggo me couldn't finish it and there was always enough left over for my hubby to have a meal.

The typical "I need to lose 30 lbs yesterday" diet doesn't encourage you to eat Chinese food. In fact, I haven't eaten Chinese since I was pregnant. And last night I simply couldn't bring myself to "eat" the SlimFast shake that I'd brought to work. I tried to convince myself. Tried REALLY hard. I promise. But I couldn't do it.

So at 6:30 I broke down and called in an order. My usual #1 with an egg roll. I thought the restaurant smelled incredibly delicious when I pulled up to pick up my order. I was so excited! The anticipation was palpable. I could practically taste the egg roll. It was going to be so tasty! Well worth the extra calories.

I paid for my order. Returned to work. Got out my chopsticks and ate a bite of chicken.

Egag!

Hmm. What on earth?

Tried a bite of egg roll.

Ick! 

The food that I was looking so forward to was barely edible! What was wrong? It looked and smelled fine. But it was so greasy! And the few bites I was able to eat felt so heavy in my stomach. I put the lid back on, slid it into the bag and let Josh know he would have plenty of Chinese for supper.

I don't think anything was wrong with the food itself. Josh said it was delicious and had zero problems eating all that I didn't. I think it had been so long since I'd cheated on my diet that my stomach just really couldn't handle all that deep-fried and greasy food.

To make it worse, I had been so excited about eating Chinese that I'd really built it up in my head beyond any reasonable expectation. And as a result the let down was hard. I could have cried I was so disappointed! And all over some stupid Chinese food.

I think I do that sort of thing a lot though. I set my expectations too high. And as a result I'm disappointed. With Chinese food, with my dieting, with my husband and children, with work. I expect myself to lose this baby weight so fast and as a result I get so frustrated and fed up with the slow-but-steady results. I expect my husband to read my mind and know that what he's doing is aggravating me, or more often what he's not doing is aggravating me, but I don't ASK him to do something. I just get mad. I expect my children to know that I have a headache and act accordingly or know that I had a bad day and be darling cherubs. Of course I'm going to be disappointed!

So now that I know I'm doing this, I wonder if I'll be able to change it? If I can I think I would be a much happier camper. We shall see...

Baby wearing - An update

I know its not even been a week yet, but I think that baby wearing is going so well that I just have to let someone know.

I absolutely love it! And Elly does too. When you find yourself with two children less than 18 months apart, there are some unique challenges that you have to find a way to address. One of those is taking both babies out in public.

I love to go to Walmart. I know, I'm insane. But I'm serious. I love going to Walmart. Since I had Elly, my only trips to Walmart have been when I had back-up. Either Josh to take care of one baby at the house, or Josh to go with me and we each get a shopping cart and a baby. But Saturday, I took both babies to Walmart by myself and it worked great. Other than a couple of smart ass comments.

When we got to the store, I put Elly in her sling (feeling a tad bit silly but that's mostly because I haven't 100% got the hang of getting her into it yet) and went around to get Evie. I debated grabbing a cart and pushing Evie in but figured the workout might be good. So I put Evie on one hip and we hiked across the parking lot. It was a hike. And although I was carrying both babies, with Elly in her sling it was pretty comfortable and incredibly easy. I kept worrying about Elly falling out, which is silly because there's not really any way for her to. But we made it inside without issue. I grumbled that the Walmart greeter wasn't there to get me a cart out, but I got Evie safely installed and we were ready to shop. As I was walking across the store a couple of people made comments that I looked like I had my hands full. Thanks, Statement of the Obvious. I am too Southern to be rude to my elders so I smiled and nodded in agreement, biting back a venomous retort each time.

One genius asked me if "that thing" really worked. I raised my eyebrows and asked if she was referring to the sling. Again, I'm Southern. So I was polite and told her that it was great for babies, especially if you had more than one, and that I really recommended it.

Shopping continued and I continued to marvel at how simple it was to reach down and replace Elly's paci and check on her while still pushing the cart and interacting with Evie. Elly slept part of the trip and part of the trip she spent in awe of the light fixtures and the people and everything around us. Evie enjoyed it too. She seems to like having Sissy with us but she doesn't really like having to share "our" stuff with her. And going to Walmart is typically one of "our" things. But this didn't really feel like she was having to "share" me. I didn't feel like I was splitting my time between them. Because Elly was right there I wasn't having to leave Evie or interrupt what we were doing or talking about to take care of the little one.

Getting everyone into the car was a bit different. I put Elly in her seat first but didn't strap her in because it was too awkward to lift Evie out of the cart. I was afraid Elly would get kicked or squished. And I didn't like leaving Evie sitting in the shopping cart while I was on the other side of the car. Then I put Evie in her seat, went back and strapped Elly into hers. Then loaded the groceries. All in all, the shopping trip was great.

I also did some house work while wearing Elly and she just seems to be much happier and more content in that little sling. She's so needy and it makes it so much more handy to just reach down and return a spit out paci or say a soothing word when she's right there. Rather than stopping what I'm doing and going to assist her.

There are still a lot of times out in public that the double stroller will be better. Long mall trips for example. Trips to the park. Etc. But short outings and around the house, the sling is AWESOME!

Of Dying Ducks and Buying Easter Eggs...Err...

I hope you all had a fabulous holiday weekend. If you didn't, well, you might not want to read ahead. Because I did. And I'm going to tell you all about how fabulous it was! No. Really.

I had a fabulous holiday weekend. Absolutely splendid! One of the best weekends I've had in awhile. It ended poorly, but the fact that they end at all is kind of a bummer. But I'll get to that later. Anywho.

My holiday weekend started on Friday night. After I finally got the girls in bed and asleep I boiled eggs for Evie.

I only boiled a dozen. I figured a 20 month-old wasn't going to have the attention span for any more than that. And I'm too old to color eggs for my own entertainment. So, an even dozen. And although it only rarely happens if I'm boiling eggs to eat, four of those eggs split. I was a little aggravated. I mean, Evie really wasn't going to care how pretty her eggs were. But I kind of did.

I plucked them from the water and plopped them back into the carton. Popped it into the fridge. And trotted my butt off to bed. It was after 11 by this time and I was EXHAUSTED. I had really high hopes for egg coloring on Saturday. And of course the chicken purchasing adventure was planned.

After our Walmart excursion and chicken purchasing, me and the girls returned home for lunch and some time with Daddy. I got everything set up for egg coloring and after lunch stripped Evie down and let her have at it.

Evie was incredibly impressed by the fizzing tablets in their clear cups. How fortunate I was to have these clear plastic cups on hand as well! I'd love to say that I had planned it this way. But it was just luck and my husband remembering that we had them while I was digging through the cabinets cursing my general lack of small, squat cups.

"Why don't you just use those clear plastic cups? Do we still have them?"

I had to pick my jaw up from the floor to go dig through the pantry to find them. I couldn't believe my husband had this idea and I hadn't! But next year, I hope to remember this, because it worked perfectly. No stains in my cups or mess to clean up. No extra dishes. Just throw them away! It was great.

The eggs looked pretty, soaking away. Evie was impressed. However, Evie wasn't particularly interested in coloring. While I had anticipated having to wrestle her for dye cups and a tremendous mess all over my kitchen, there was practically none.

Evie marveled at the little eggs scoops when it was time to get the eggs out. But otherwise, she happily sat in her high chair munching on one of the hard-boiled eggs. Yeah. Right off the bat, she reached into the carton, grabbed one of the ugly eggs, peeled it and started chomping away. Go figure. I've never seen her express any interest in eggs before. Now she'd rather sit and snack on one that make a huge mess with cups of dye. But she was happy. So I put eggs in the colors she indicated. We waited while they turned. Then I placed them back into the carton, letting her point to the ones she liked. Then it was clean up and nap time.

It was all incredibly laid back. Nearly disappointingly so. I had the video camera on standby to record the wild hilarity of it all. And there was nothing but Evie eating an egg while I colored 11 others.

When she got up from her nap on Saturday, she wanted to call Mimi to ask how Duck was. She went to the door and pointed outside and started yelling "Duck!" until I called Mimi. It was adorable. But the rest of the day was without incident.


Sunday was incredibly hectic. This was my first holiday with two babies. Getting the three of us up, fed and dressed for a regular day when the babies' appearances don't matter is hard enough. Getting us all out the door dressed to impress in our Easter best...(I didn't mean for that to sound so Suessy) wow. What a challenge! I don't know if it is more or less of a challenge that Elly is still so young. She's easier to dress and I don't have to worry about her falling down and getting her dress dirty. Instead I have to worry about her puking on herself or deciding she's hungry when it's time for us to leave. I was afraid to dress Evie too early, afraid to dress her too late. And of course, Josh was at work and therefore no help!

Believe it or not, we made it to church on time. The girls in their adorable matching dresses. Me...well, I was dressed in a dress. But it was nothing to write home about.

After church my parents came back to my house for Evie's very first Easter egg hunt and some lunch. I couldn't believe how quickly Evie picked up on Easter egg hunting. After a brief debacle where she had to fight the beagle off of one of her eggs and we discovered that the beagle had gone and eaten the eggs she could get to, it went quickly and smoothly.

Lunch was ham, mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, macaroni and cheese, and yeast rolls. Carb heavy but simple. And delicious! Josh got home before supper time and we had a great family evening.

Then yesterday I took off work to take Elly to another doctor's appointment with the plastic surgeon about her hemangioma. Got great news there. No growth and the doc thought that since it wasn't growing yet it may not. Another great evening with my little family since Josh was off work.

So all in all, the "duck" buying and Easter egg dying went fabulously! It was an awesome weekend. Wish I could take three day weekends more often!

Hope you enjoyed yours as well.

Evie's first "Pet"

Every year during the spring the local farm supply store, Tractor Supply, has what they call "Chick Days." Several weeks where they sell chicks and baby ducks. Some stores even sell rabbits, turkeys and guineas. But being a small area, we don't quite rank that sort of selection.

A few weeks ago I sent Josh and Evie to pick up dog food from Tractor Supply. They're honestly the cheapest place in town to get decent quality dog food. And when they got home Josh told me that Evie absolutely freaked out over the chickens. She loved them! I know Evie loves dogs and she is open to liking cats, but I didn't know that her affections extended to our feathered friends as well. Of course she likes watching the birds out the window on the bird feeders. But then they're flitting around and flying. They're pretty interesting. But chickens? I had no idea.

Well, my mom has been wanting to get some chickens for her back yard. She's got a fenced in area and wants to put chickens and rabbits there. Although my step dad doesn't really want farm animals he doesn't have the ability to tell his granddaughter "no" so when my mom told him that the chickens were for Evie...well, he caved.

I spent some time researching what kind of chicken we wanted on the website. The Dominques were supposed to reproduce and be pretty docile. They were a blackish colored chick so they'd be easy to pick out. 

The day before Easter seemed like the perfect time to go get Evie a chicken. So this morning I dressed her for the occasion and asked her if she wanted to go get a chicken. Her answer was of course, "Yeah, yeah!"

So we met her Mimi at Tractor Supply. She beat us there and called to tell us they had already sold out of everything but the little yellow chicks. Ah well. Evie wouldn't know the difference. They keep the chicks and ducks in these huge metal tubs under heat lamps. Evie saw the ducks first and stood pointing yelling "Duck, duck, duck, duck, duck!" The other customers were pretty amused. Several stopped to watch her pet a couple of baby ducks.

Then it was time to pick out chicks. We got one with brown spots on its back. That's specifically Evie's chicken.

She was very fascinated watching the chicks. Although she did keep calling them ducks.

But she quickly moved on to "Mine, Mine, Mine."

After we told her a few times to be easy and to just pet the chicken, she got the hang of it.

Then after every time she managed to pet one of the chicks, she would clap her hands excitedly.

It was adorable.

So meet Evie's first pet. The first pet bought solely for Evie. He (or she) is a chicken. And I think she's going to call him Duck.

Happy Easter everyone!

Shared holidays mean more

Since Evie was born holidays have been way more important. And unfortunately for my husband, holidays were pretty important to me before. He's still having a hard time trying to cope.

Josh has spent most of the past decade living on the opposite side of the country from his family. When we met, his parents and sister all lived in California, an uncomfortable 8-hour flight away. But this wasn't weird for him. He'd served for four years in the Air Force in Little Rock Arkansas several states away from his parents. When he was growing up they had moved several times. And since he was young he hadn't lived in the same state with any of his grand parents or other extended family. He had grandparents in California, Idaho and New Hampshire. Cousins in Arizona and California and Tennessee and Connecticut and South Carolina. So really, they're all over the place. And he's used to that. He's used to not seeing family for the holidays. Accustomed to not talking to them very often or seeing them only once in awhile.

Until age 6 or 7, I lived a short walk from my grand parents and great grand parents. There's a picture of me from shortly after birth being held by my great great grandmother. Nearly all of my family lives in Virginia. Most of them in the Appalachian mountains of southwestern Virginia. Yes...I'm one of those poor Appalachian hillbillies. I'm okay with it. Proud of it even. We're a proud people. Don't push it.

My great grandparents lived until I was in college. I still have my grandparents. No one has really spread out any, even today. I was used to birthdays having several generations of family, including cousins and family friends. Every holiday involved getting together at one family's house for a home-cooked meal. Summers were spent on my great grandparents' farm riding around with Pa Booker on the tractor, riding horses, playing in the hay loft at my Grandpa's barn, playing in the orchard, helping Ma Mary in the garden. All the "men folk" would come in from farm work for lunch, which Ma Mary cooked for them everyday. My great uncle, second cousin, grandfather and great grandfather all trooped in, washed their hands and sat around the table discussing farming and local gossip. Until I was an adolescent we all went to the same church every Sunday and saw each other on at least weekly.

Even when I went away to college I spoke to my mom every day. Called my grandparents regularly. Continued the family holiday traditions. Now I live only 20 minutes from my mom. Only 40 minutes from my grandparents, though I don't see them as often as I wish I did.

Holidays have always been spent with family. And each holiday has its own traditions. I can remember making sugar cookies with my mom and decorating the tree to happy jingles for Christmas. Coloring eggs and doing egg hunts for Easter. The huge lunch for Thanksgiving. Cooking out for the Fourth of July and watching fireworks.

Now that I have kids of my own I have worked to make sure they have memorable holidays as well. I want us to create our own traditions for our children to remember fondly. Some stuff I will wait to start til they get older. Like a sunrise service on Easter. Or midnight mass on Christmas. I don't really want to drag an infant and toddler to either of those.

Holidays with kids just mean more. I have loved buying Christmas presents for Evie the last two years. They have been the best Christmases! We colored eggs last year, but of course Evie was only seven months old. So she mostly just dumped the colors out. I'm looking forward to coloring eggs with her tomorrow. Of course she's still just going to make a huge mess. But it'll be fun nonetheless.

I really look forward to future years and teaching her about the meaning behind holidays like Easter, Christmas, Thanksgiving and the Fourth of July. Taking time from our busy lives and celebrating holidays like Earth Day and Memorial Day, Martin Luther King Jr Day and Columbus Day with fun little crafts and stuff. I remember the holidays meaning so much to me when I was little. I'm going to make sure they're important to my kids as well!

My poor husband is learning to deal.

When bigger shoes have big meaning

I have always loved shoes. Really. Three years ago, it wouldn't have been safe to let me see a "Sale" sign on a shoe store, because I would have to go in and buy at least ONE pair. I had way too many shoes. Several pairs I seldom, if ever wore. But shoes were my weakness. I loved them.

In December 2008 I found out I was pregnant with my first daughter and spent the next nine months getting fat and dressing for comfort. I didn't wear anything less comfortable than flip flops that summer. About the same time that I've gotten my body back I was surprised to learn that I was pregnant again. So another nine months of getting fat and dressing comfortably.

I have worn heels two times since December 2008 and I can list them. Once to church spring of 2010. Another time to a viewing of a friend's family member during fall of 2010. And that's it. Last week I went to put on a pair of heels to wear to church and they were way to small! *gasp* The horror.

I have gotten rid of a lot of my shoes over the last couple of years. They were taking up a lot of closet space and I don't really have the need for them anymore. As if I ever did. But now trying on the shoes that I still have I find that my feet have apparently grown!

Of all the side-effects to two pregnancies in two years, larger feet was not one I expected. But be forewarned! It can happen. A few months ago I bought a pair of New Balance toning sneakers and measured my foot to get the size (I ordered them online) but I didn't really think about the fact that I needed 8's now. I like my sneakers with a little room so I can wear thicker socks anyways so I had ordered them a little big. But now I learn that I can't wear my size 6 shoes anymore!

So the other day at Walmart, I sit down on the shoe aisle to confirm this. I try on shoes. Nope. Size 6 won't go on my foot. Nor will a 6.5. Ugh. I'm now at least a size 7 or 7.5. I know I don't have sled runners for feet or anything. But man, who'd a thunk it? A full size bigger!

Over the last couple of years, between babies and being pregnant, I haven't had a lot of opportunity for high-heel affairs. Typically the other shoppers in Walmart don't look at my feet. And house cleaning tends to go better in flip flops, sneakers or barefoot. Being pseudo law enforcement, we have uniforms and S.W.A.T. boots to wear to work. So I'm certainly not dressing to the nines there. Josh and I have only had a handful of "dates" since Evie was born and none of them have needed heels.

But in three weeks, my best friend is getting married. I'm very excited and happy for her. And I'm also super excited about getting out of the house, leaving the babies with my mom and spending some quality grown-up time with my husband. I bought a super cute dress and some adorable shoes. Black peep-toe pumps with a little bow/ruffle on top. They are fabulous.

I still have an affinity and fondness for shoes. But it has certainly taken a backseat to diapers, formula, baby food, and clothes for kids. These shoes have a lot of importance for me. They are the first pair of "cute" shoes I've bought since I got pregnant. I also sort of see them as a turning point for me.

I'm done having babies (most likely). I'm going to lose all this weight and be skinny and attractive and be happy with my body again. I am a much different person than I was. A different person with bigger feet. And stretch marks. I'm a mom now and I think that has a profound impact on who you are. But I don't have to be JUST a mom. And I think that's something that has taken me a while to accept. I can still be cute and have fun!

I'm not the carefree 22-year-old anymore. Having children is a big responsibility. And while I sometimes miss all the fun that I used to have and my size 3 shorts, my children are such an incredible blessing. They are lots of fun and way better to look at than any of those size 3 shorts anyways. I wouldn't change anything or do any of it different.

I have promised that I will cut myself some slack. My body created some absolutely gorgeous babies. It took nine months to gain the weight so I'll try and be patient and give myself nine months to lose it. I'm not going to be upset about having bigger feet because now I have a legitimate excuse to update my shoes. At my current weight loss rate I will be back around 125 by Evie's birthday and that's not so bad. Assuming I can manage to not put a bunch of weight back on through the holidays (and man its TOUGH) I will be back down to my pre-baby size for next year's pool and beach season. It'll all be okay.

Baby wearing...for the win?

I have addressed this issue before, but just in case you haven't picked up on it, Elly is a needy baby. Very needy. She is clingy and has a constant need to held and if you leave her alone in a room she freaks out. You can't go get laundry, or grab a drink or even go pee without listening to Elly cry and fuss. I think baby wearing might just be the solution to this dilemma.

I've always thought that baby wearing was kind of a new age hippie sort of thing. I mean before I actually learned anything about it. Before I did some research and read the blogs of some intelligent women who did baby wearing (and there are some weird cookies out there who do it.) I thought of it as one of those granola, hairy-arm-pit, unwashed sort of things. Of course, nowadays, organic is trendy (Remember back when people who ate organic had dreadlocks and wore a lot of hemp bracelets?) and of course hemp is getting to be trendy. Every one is into all-natural products, mineral make-up, locally grown produce, reusable shopping bags, etc. We've all gotten to be way more eco-conscious in the last year or two. So I guess hippie is in?

But I refuse to give up shaving my arm pits. I don't care if becomes trendy!

After researching I found that baby wearing is no more hippie and new age than breast feeding is. It's really more old school and natural that putting baby in a bouncer and letting them "tough it out."

I started looking into baby wearing while I was pregnant. With a high-maintenance high-energy toddler, I worried about how I'd manage tending two babies at once. Baby wearing seemed like a good solution. It's something that moms having been doing since our hunting and gathering days. The Native Americans carried their little papoose and the Chinese carried their babies in colorful slings. Josh kinda frowned on the idea of the sling and carrying the baby around all the time. Then I started thinking about how Evie just preferred to do her own thing and how it might be awkward to try and keep the baby with me all the time and I guess I talked myself out of it. I still thought it was a great idea and whereas I was afraid it wasn't for me, I still supported it.

I read a lot of the history of baby wearing. There are a lot of resources out there if you're interested. Here are some links:
*Baby Wearing 101
*Sling babies
*Wikipedia Baby Wearing


Since Elly came along I've had to make a lot of compromises on my parenting style. I guess that's a big part of parenting...compromises. Co-sleeping has never been something that I've wanted to do with a newborn, but it has been necessary as Elly now wakes up every morning at 5 a.m. to come sleep with me. Before I made that compromise no one was really sleeping. Well, my husband did some, and that just ticked me off. Now I'm a little aggravated that I have to get up every night but at least I'm managing about 7 hours of decent sleep.

Another compromise has been the schedule. I really support having babies on a schedule and Evie was the perfect infant for someone with my anal retentive tendencies. I like having predictability to my life and knowing when I'm going to be doing what. Elly despises schedules. She works hard every single day to keep us all on our toes. Other than the 8 a.m. bottle she has right when we get up and the 9 p.m. bottle every night before bed, I have no idea when or how much Elly will eat. No idea. Some days she wants to eat every 2 hours. Some days only every 4. Sometimes she will down 6 oz and ask for 2 or 3 more. Sometimes she'll take an hour to barely finish 3 oz. There's really no telling. Generally speaking she eats between 25-32 oz a day. But I have had to completely give up on getting her on a schedule for now. I'm hoping when she starts solids she will get on a 3 meals and 4 bottles schedule. Hoping...

She also doesn't usually nap in her crib like I would prefer. Or spend enough time out of that vibrating bouncer seat. Or get as much one-on-one time as I'd like. The list goes on...but you get the idea.

But one thing I really can't compromise on is that I have to put her down sometimes. I'm a mom of TWO and there are a lot of other things that I have to get done during the day. And I can't wait til after both babies are asleep because I need to sleep too. Plus I'm usually so exhausted by then I'm lucky to have the energy to wash my face and drag the covers over me. I have come to grips with the fact that I will not keep my house spotless or even tidy most of the time. I have accepted that I may not get a full night's uninterrupted rest for several years. If ever. I've moved on from thinking that I will get everything done, be it laundry, yard work, or even just photos uploaded. But with a toddler who needs food, drink, diapers changed, attention, etc. on a fairly regular basis I need to have my hands free so that I can at least take care of her. And maybe start the dishwasher or the washing machine. Ya know?

I've come to terms with a lot of changes since Elly's birth. Still I have to spend more time than I'd like listening to her cry because I cannot hold her all the time. I'm hoping that baby wearing helps resolve some of this. So last Friday I ordered a sling. My mom received a code from Seven Slings for a free sling, you just have to pay shipping and handling. So we each ordered one paying only $11.95 for it. She received hers yesterday and I received mine today. I went with Supernova because I thought the purple was pretty. I also went with a size 2 based on the site's size recommendations, though I wish I had gone with a 3 so I'd have more room.

Evie REALLY liked it. Of course I didn't get it for her, specifically but she wants to try everything. She also decided she did NOT want her Daddy taking her picture and made ugly faces. But I promise, she loved it. The site says the sling supports up to 35 lbs and Evie is about 25. I am not sure I would want a 35 lb kid in it but Evie was pretty comfortable to carry. I walked around the house for a few minutes with her.

It felt pretty comfortable hands free. I think this will be my favorite carry position, though the child has to be able to sit up unsupported to use this one. So Elly has at least a few months.

Please ignore my clothes and hair. I had just wet my hair and gotten ready for work when the mail arrived. I was so excited to try out the sling and I really didn't have time to change for a photo shoot. I didn't really think about how I looked. haha.

I put Elly in the front carry...or tried. She really liked it too. Once she got over the first few moments of "Holy crap what is going on?" where she grunted and squirmed and kept trying to throw her arms up and grab my face.

So I really like the sling. I think Elly is going to really like it and I hope it means a happier baby. There are supposed to be a LOT of benefits to baby wearing including a closer parent-child bond, improved language skills, decreased risk of a flat head and a healthier baby. We shall see!

I will definitely update you guys in a week or two on how it is going. Evie really supports the baby wearing. She carried her baby around for awhile in the sling.

So Evie's a baby wearer. I guess I am officially a baby wearer too...but I promise I'm still shaving my arm pits. And legs for that matter. Eesh.

What makes a good parent?

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To teach a toddler

It's easy to see that learning starts way before a child sits at a desk or walks through kindergarten doors. The first year, the teaching comes pretty easy. Teaching baby how to eat, drink, crawl, walk--babies do it all in their own time, in their own way, and a parent's involvement is pretty straight-forward. Heck, a lot of the responsibility in the first year is just keeping baby alive. Feeding them, keeping them from tumbling down a set of stairs or choking on a penny, padding the furniture so they don't crack their heads open trying to walk. These are the ways parents occupy their time that first year. While the sleepless nights, colicky days, hundreds of bottles, thousands of diapers and the occasional heart attack as you watch baby take a spill may be hard on your health, the first year flies by. And with Evie, the first year was easy.

The second year is where the real learning started for us. We have been reading to Evie since before she was born. I remember reading "Piggie in a Puddle" to Evie while I was about 6 months pregnant. We always have pointed out things in the pictures, narrated, used sound effects, etc. We talked to Evie constantly. Repeated sounds, stressed syllables and said words over and over and over. Despite our efforts, Evie's first words didn't come until long after the 6 month average. She was about 10 months old when she really started using "mama" and "dada," words that most babies have long since mastered and moved on from. Now at 20 months she's finally progressing in her speech and starting to catch up to where she should be.

While her communication skills fell behind, Evie has always been ahead on all her physical milestones, from fine motor skills to the bigger stuff. She walked at 10 months, was stacking blocks, walking up stairs, climbing ladders, jumping, dancing, and more long before the baby books said she should. Heck, long before they thought she might be trying them.

Believe me, I'm one of those parents who obsesses a bit over milestones. Every month I read my "What to Expect" book for both Evie and Elly and look at what they should be learning to do this month. Granted, Elly's list is much longer than Evie's. But Elly obviously is lacking a lot more! And I push them every month towards those goals. Like this month Elly needs to be able to hold her head up when pulled to sitting and push up on her arms. So that's what we're working towards.

But now Evie is almost two. While we of course work on her language development daily, we have also been teaching her other things this year. Things that, before you have kids, you don't think about having to "teach" someone. Like the names of body parts and laughing at the hilarity of when they misunderstand (No baby, that's your belly, not your butt.) or stammering to come up with a cutesy name for the girl parts. Lately, we've been going over shapes and colors and counting.

Thank goodness for educational toys. They make this easier.

We sit in the floor and I ask Evie where the blue shape is or the purple shape. And she picks it up or points to it. Where the star is or the triangle. And she tries to identify it. Every time I ask her to find one by both color and shape she gets it, but sometimes she mixes up shapes if I ask them solo.

She tells me that the purple star is her favorite.

Like anything else, learning shapes and color and counting has its successes and frustrations. And unfortunately Evie has a Molotov cocktail of temper and patience that she inherited from her parents. My husband's temper and my lack of patience combine into a hell-cat combo. Frequently these games of "learning" dissolve into Evie screaming and throwing the toys across the room before she gets up and leaves. She cannot handle any form of failure. I've found that even telling her in a kind, constructive way that she's doing something incorrectly brings on tears and trauma. Telling her she's being silly for deliberately pointing to the wrong pictures in a book led to a complete meltdown one night. A snot-covered, sniffling toddler curled up on my lap having to be reassured that it was okay for 20 minutes kind of meltdown.

While she never got frustrated with just shapes and colors today, she did get really ticked that the square wouldn't fit through the triangle's slot. And when the heart and star weren't interchangeable...well, meltdown city here we come!

Teaching is hard. It's tough to stay positive and focused and not get frustrated. Especially when dealing with a wanna-be two-year-old who throws a hissy fit when she gets something wrong. But it is also incredibly rewarding when she gets it right and grins proudly. And she's so adorable sorting her shapes out and putting them in the container.

At times I'd even call her highly entertaining. Next up...counting past five! Woohoo.

Sissy is trying to talk!

So, you're going to think I'm completely insane...but I swear Elly is going to be talking way earlier than Evie even thought about. The other day I was jokingly trying to get her to say "mama" by just repeating it over and over, much to Evie's delight (she thought it was hilarious for some reason) when Elly just went "Maaaaa!" and giggled.

This morning, Josh was holding her and she was cooing and making happy faces. He asked her if she could see her Momma (I was sitting just a few feet away) and she said "Ooo-ma!" Oh my goodness. It was adorable! And she's only 2 months old! I can't wait to hear what she's she's saying in a couple more months. After Elly said that I told Evie that Sissy was going to be teaching her to talk in just a few months and Evie nodded. Hah! Kids are just too funny.

I really don't remember what she was making this face at.

Or this one. Elly has a lot of adorable faces. And like many babies...they don't really seem to relate to anything going on around them.

This is my favorite though...

This is how she sleeps...pretty much all the time.

So is it possible for a baby to be starting to try and talk this early? I only have my little late bloomer to compare to. And of course she didn't say her first words until like 8 or 9 months old. She's only just now starting to use two word phrases regularly. And those tend to involve personal pronouns..."My momma" or "My juice" or something along those lines. I think she was trying to tell Mushu he was a bad dog this morning which is certainly the most advanced sentence she's used that I've understood. "Moomoo, baa daa" was kind of what it sounded like. He was dragging her around the yard at Mimi's at the time and she was using her stern voice...so it fits. A lot of conversations with Evie involve a lot of guessing and assuming she's trying to say what you think she is. I know of people with children younger than Evie who form complete sentences. Complete sentences that you can understand. Heck! They are able to have conversations with their kids than even a stranger can understand. Even though I can have pretty simple conversations with Evie, I'm certain that a stranger couldn't.

I'm hoping that Elly's early desire to communicate means that she'll start talking early. I hope that her being a little tongue-tied doesn't affect it any. But I guess that's a bridge we'll cross when we get there.

In the mean time, Josh tells me he thinks that Elly will be even more attached to me than Evie is. Though he doesn't really have an explanation for why. She's continuing to sleep better and better at night. Sleeping til 5 or 6 in her crib then til 8 in our bed with no nighttime feedings. Just a couple more months and she'll be starting cereal and veggies and fruits and hopefully we'll all be sleeping a hundred times better.

I don't mind waking up to this precious face every day though...

Going to be bad if I'm the one with separation anxiety and crying myself to sleep when we put her back in her crib for good.

Daddy does it different

Sometimes I feel a little sorry for my husband. He, after all, will spend the next 18 years in a house full of girls. Even if we change our minds in a few years and have another child (highly unlikely) and we have a boy (which the odds seem to be against at this point) the girls will still outnumber the boys. Unless we have twin boys. And with no twins in our families I think we're more likely to find a winning lottery ticket on the street than to have twin boys.

So there he is. A lone beacon of testosterone lost in a vast sea of pink, frills, dresses, make-up and estrogen. He's going to have to learn things most men will never learn. Like how to color coordinate. Or how to braid hair. Dress dolls. Have a tea party. He'll have to deal with lots of tears, listen to boy problems, and buy lots of tampons.

Poor guy. He has a tough couple of decades ahead of him.

Watching Josh with Evie, I think he's going to do fine with all of this girly stuff. He actually volunteered to paint her toenails this morning. She wanted her toenails painted, but when asked if she could sit still long enough for them to dry, she admitted she couldn't.

She instead wanted Daddy to trim her toenails. Then wanted to help me paint my toenails. Ehhh, that's okay baby.

I admit, even for me taking care of two girls is going to be difficult. It already is at times. I'm home alone with them a lot and I admit that there are times when they're overwhelming. You can't understand it or explain it but taking care of two kids is somehow three times harder than just one.

Josh doesn't spend a lot of time home alone with them both. Sometimes I'm jealous of this. Like this week, he's working the late shift everyday. So he gets the house all to himself from 11 a.m. when I take the girls to my mom's and then head to work until he leaves for work at 3 p.m. Then he doesn't get home til around 2 a.m. so he gets to miss the nightly insanity. Then he'll sleep in the next morning til around 9:30 or 10, meaning not only does he miss the insanity of trying to get both babies fed first thing in the morning, he only has to deal with them for an hour or so before we leave.

I'm sure he misses them some. But at the same time he gets a lot of time to do whatever he pleases. While I would be miserable only seeing my girls for a few hours over the course of an entire week, I'm at the same time very jealous of all the time he gets to do whatever he wants. Especially since my free time is certainly not spent on "me time." My "free" time, meaning anytime the girls are sleeping or otherwise preoccupied, is spent trying to catch up on house work. If I get 5 minutes I will run and start a load of laundry, put up some clothes, sweep the floor, put up dishes, etc. Men just don't seem to have that kind of motivation. Josh will spend all of his free time playing Call of Duty or watching a movie. If I ask, he will manage to get a few chores done. Today he's supposed to be putting the first load of laundry (that I started during a free moment this morning) in the dryer, the next load in the washer, emptying the dishwasher (which I loaded and started this morning during another free moment), filling the humidifiers, getting the coffee maker ready for tomorrow and making the bottles that Elly will need tonight and in the morning. He will probably get it all done. But of course he'll have PLENTY of time for his video games and whatever else he wants to do.

I don't get enough free time to usually get to spend it doing something for me. Over the course of this weekend, I got a whole 30 minutes to myself which I spent sitting in the sun reading. It did a little for my base tan and dramatically improved my overall outlook on life. I wish I had more time for stuff like that. But I don't particularly want to give up time with my kids to get it.

One of the upsides of having spent so much time with both kids is that the whining, crying and tantrums don't really get to me much anymore. Of course, I have some bad days and there are moments that I cannot stand another second of it. But Josh's tolerance level is way lower. He gets easily frustrated with Evie's whining and tends to yell a lot more often than he used to.

The first day he stayed home with them both he was exhausted and completely frazzled by the time I got home from work. Of course, I remember calling him in the tears on my first day home alone and telling him that I couldn't do it. Granted that was two months ago and Elly was younger and sick and Evie hadn't developed any patience or tolerance for her sister yet. So I think Josh has it WAY easier now. But I don't want to say that. Because I know it is incredibly hard to balance both babies at first. And I don't need to prove that I'm better or anything. Being a parent isn't a competition. And if it were, we're supposed to be on the same team.

I tell him it will get easier the more he does it. And it seemed to go better on his second full day home with both babies.

I just find it so interesting how much different a father's bond is with his children. His whole attitude towards them is completely different from mine. And I don't mean that he loves them any less or doesn't want to spend time with them and do things. He loves them very much and he's a great father. Josh helps out way more than a lot of men do. So I'm not complaining. Sometimes it is just so frustrating though. Guess that's just part of parenting.