Tips to a New Baby Buncher

When I started this blog I had a few intentions. One was just to jot down what was going on in my life so that a few years from now I could look back and remember the insanity of having two under two. Another was connect with other moms and possibly help save someone else from one of my mistakes. Of which there are many!

Five months into life as a baby buncher, I can now say that life has started to be a bit more stable and calm. Evie is almost 23 months old. She has adjusted as well as could be expected to her life as a big sister. She seems happy and she likes her little sister. I think that once Elly, now 5 months old, gets mobile life will get a little crazy again. But hopefully the worst of our days are behind us.

There have been a lot of tough lessons learned. First and foremost, whatever baby #1 did, expect baby #2 to do the EXACT opposite. Baby #1 was a good sleeper? Plan on a lot of sleepless nights. Baby #1 was happy on a schedule? Plan on the second one refusing to be on a schedule. Baby #1 liked spending time in the swing? Baby #2 will hate it. Baby #1 ate anything you could fit on a spoon? Baby #2 will be a picky eater. The list goes on and on.

One of my friends has just found out that she's pregnant with her second and her bunch will be about 17 months apart, same as mine. While I've offered advice already it got me to thinking about what tips I wish I could go back and give myself.


1.) Have lower expectations. I had hopes of things being just so. I envisioned Evie falling right into life as a big sister. Being happy in her new role and loving to help out. I thought things would be just like they were when we brought Evie home. A tough first few days and then getting into the swing and moving forward. That wasn't how it went at all. Our first few days were the easy ones. Then Evie realized that this new little person was apparently staying. And life went downhill. Cut yourself some slack!

2.) Savor your last days with just one. Because once #2 comes along it is so so hard to get time with just one baby. As important as it is to spend time with each child individually, the real world makes it difficult to come by when they're small. Especially when both parents work full-time and have somewhat spastic schedules.

3.) Budget, budget, budget. Having two in diapers is outrageously expensive. If you don't have a family budget on paper, make one. Make a list of your expenses and if you don't have any extra start making the cuts now. Start saving money while you're pregnant. It's easier to cut back on how much you're saving than to find expenses to cut once Baby #2 comes. Plus having a decent amount saved will make it easier to buy all the duplicate stuff you'll need for the second one.

4.) Stock up. Start buying an extra pack of diapers regularly while you're pregnant. Don't wait for the baby shower because since it's your second, people probably won't be as generous. If you catch diapers on sale, stock up. Especially since Wal-Mart will take exchange on unopened diapers without a receipt. It's not a big deal to swap a few packs if Baby#2 outgrows them. If you get used to buying an extra pack each month, it won't be QUITE as bad later on. If you see baby food on sale or get coupons, stock up. Same with formula, etc. Baby #1 has outgrown all that stuff but Gerber and Similac may still be sending you coupons. Get used to buying more of all that baby stuff now. And it'll make adapting to your new grocery bill a little easier.

5.) Don't forget that your oldest is still a baby. This was one of the hardest for me. Once #2 came along, I needed the oldest to stop being such a baby. But of course, she was not even 18 months old. She still needed diaper changes and naps and lots and lots and lots of help to do stuff. It's not like she can make her own breakfast and take care of herself when both parents have been up all night with a colicky infant.

6.) You can do it! Trust me. The first few months might just feel impossible. You will cry. You will yell at your husband and your dog and your toddler and your mom and your best friend. You will wonder how the hell you ever thought you could do it. There will be some bad days, some worse nights. But one day you will wake up after a full night's rest and you will have a calm, peaceful breakfast followed by a happy, productive morning. It might be after a couple of weeks of having two babies or a couple of months or maybe even a couple of years (if you're REALLY unlucky) but sooner or later this day will come.