Deep down everyone just wants to be happy. The problem is that no one really knows what will ultimately make them happy, until they try it.
I think one of the biggest problems in America these days is that every one thinks that THINGS will make them happy. In particular, the biggest, nicest and most expensive THINGS. From cars to houses to toys to clothes. Americans have this serious complex about being better than everyone else. But why on earth do they feel that way? Our grandparents certainly weren't raised that way. I don't think our parents were either. But somewhere between my parents' generation and mine something happened that caused this serious disconnect in American society. People began to value things more and more. The acquisition to get more things, better things, pushed out family and friends and values. The morals that our parents were raised on are slacking in my generation and they seem to be utterly lacking from teens today.
Some of the happiest people I know are people that spend very little time worrying about what kind of car they drive, or how much their shoes cost, or whether or not their neighbor's house is nicer. The happiest people I know don't live in big lavish mansions or drive the latest model of Beamer. They don't need to. They have their families, their friends, food on the table and clothes on their back. That's all they need.
So many people spend their whole lives trying to get something better instead of just enjoying what they have. People waste their lives. Then die miserable wondering where they went wrong.
Five years ago, when Josh and I bought our little three bedroom one bath home, we thought of it as our starter home. Most people would say that was all it is. We figured in 5 or 10 years we would buy a bigger, nicer house in a better, nicer neighborhood. Since then of course a lot of things have changed.
First, the economy really flattened out and the bottom fell out of the housing market. Second, Josh and I decided we wanted to have a kid...or three...while we were young. These two factors combined have had a pretty dramatic impact on our lives. And especially on our plans for the future. The economy affected both our jobs, the housing market changed the value of our house and of course having kids changes EVERYTHING.
I have spent quite a bit of time fretting over finances lately. With #3 on the way, I know our expenses are going to go up. I have already started buying a jumbo pack of diapers every month so that we can start adjusting to that addition. But there will be more. Clothes and wipes and more laundry and more electricity and more water. Babies are quite the costly add-on.
One of the things I have fretted over the most is our continuing ability to save money each month. I don't worry that we can't cut some "fat" from our budget here and there to make ends meet if things are more than I'm anticipating when the baby comes. I worry that we won't be able to continue saving money for all the stuff I want to save for. And the main item in that list is a down payment for a new house.
I had gotten it into my head that the clock was really ticking on us upgrading homes. For one, it's important to me that I am without a house payment by the time I am of a "retirement age." The sooner the better. That's a big ole chunk of my monthly income. So I need to be in the long-term house at a reasonable age so I'm not working full-time until I'm 75 just to pay off my house. Another reason that I feel like I need to upgrade houses soon is that we have two girls already and only one full-sized bathroom in the house. Once both girls are in school that's just not going to work. We already get into some hairy situations with Evie screaming to go potty and Josh is in the bathroom and I feel like my bladder is being trampled by a tiny person (wonder why?) and am about to wet my pants. It's not often, but just often enough to make me worry about what we'll do when there are two or three potty-trained little people in the house. Thirdly, I really liked the idea of there being a "play room" in the house that the kids can just go wild in and me not worry about keeping picked up. And I feel like when the kids get older, they should be able to each have their own room if they want it. So several reasons that I've been thinking about bigger would be better. I also hate my yard currently. And hate that so little of it is usable since so much of it is a hill. And at times it would be nice to be a little further from the neighbors.
So I've had all this rolling around in my head, worrying at me. On top of that, we've had some recent additional, unplanned expenses that have eaten into our savings account, which always makes me antsy. And of course the biggest hurtle to buying a bigger home is that you need more income. And that isn't really within my control. I suppose my husband or I could get a second job. But I feel like we already get practically no time together and of course another job would cut further into that. So I don't really see that as viable.
Then last week, I was talking to my mom about money and houses and other things. She was talking about how she is going to get her house paid off this year and then she'll be free of that monthly debt. Which, by the way, I am incredibly jealous of. And we were talking about so-and-so who lives in the same house he lived in when he got married and how they rarely upgrade vehicles and as a result have money to pretty much do what they want. Take vacations, go out of town, etc. And how the generations before us generally had their houses paid off quite early, because generally they spent their lives in the house the same house that they were in when they got married.
And I got to thinking.
What's really important in our lives? Does it really matter how many square feet my house has? Is it more important to me to have that big house or would I rather go on a big family vacation each year? Do I want to spend thirty more years slowly watching a mortgage disappear while I live paycheck to paycheck and worry about money? Do kids really need their own ginormous room they can retreat to, with a tv and a laptop and an iPod?
I love my kids. And I love my husband. And I love my job. I don't love it all the time every day, but all in all, I would like to do this until I retire. It may not be a big paycheck, but it's an important job. And I get to help people. And it is not boring! So I don't see a big bump in my paycheck in the future. And my husband is doing what he can to move on up the corporate ladder
I don't think it's ever killed anyone to have to wait a couple extra minutes to use the restroom. And I've never heard of anyone dying from having to share a room with their sister. We live in a good neighborhood, one with lots of other kids that are out in the evenings riding bikes and playing ball. We have good neighbors that help out and watch out for each other.
It was like an epiphany.
What if we stayed in our current house? What if we just stayed?
I began rolling the idea around and the more I've thought about it, the more I like it. Josh and I have come up with a plan to remodel the basement. Turn the main room in the basement into our master bedroom and the smallest room into a giant walk in closet. Then convert another room down there into a mudroom/laundry room. Then turn what is currently a laundry/half-bath into a full bath. Our basement isn't one of those dirty, dark, dank, stinky basements. I mean, right now, it's not finished, so it is still pretty basementy. But it's not bad.
It's a big project. And it certainly won't happen tomorrow. We've got a long list of things to do downstairs. Starting with cleaning out all the junk and moving most of the non-trash junk into our outside storage building. Which also needs cleaning out! I'm already driving my husband a little crazy wanting to get started on stuff.
And of course, remodeling isn't free, or cheap. So it will still be a matter of waiting for money. But I'm hoping we can start the biggest chunk of the renovation in the spring with our tax refund. Finish out the new closet area and get it ready. Finish the walls in the soon-to-be bedroom and get them painted. Replace the light fixtures. Rebuild the stairs to put in a landing and make them less steep. And put down some nice plush carpet. Then do some serious furniture rearranging!
But I am really excited about it. Especially since having such a big open room means that Josh and I can FINALLY have a king sized bed! And still have room to walk in our bedroom. New carpet and a comfy reading area.
Before I'm ready to start sleeping on a separate floor from my littles, I told my hubby that I would probably want to get an alarm system installed. So that sirens will go off if a door or window is opened upstairs. And the littlest little needs to be sleeping through the night. But after we move our bedroom, the kids can have a really large playroom upstairs. And I've already got ideas for reading nooks and built in shelves.
Then the following year's tax refund could do the mudroom and the bathroom. .
Beyond the new bedroom and renovations, there's actually something I'm more excited about. I have totally gotten this whole "beating the Joneses" mentality out of my head. And I think that is just wonderful. Plus, staying in our current home means that we will continue to have money to set aside. And since this is the LAST baby (I mean it this time!) we can start using that money for vacations and family trips. More time with my family is far more important than anything else.
I think if more people found ways to be happy with what they had instead of longing for what they haven't, the world would be a much, much different place. Quit worrying about what everyone else has and look and how much you've been blessed with. If we lived in a one bedroom shack in the woods and I still had my family, I think I would be a pretty lucky gal. We all just need to thankful for what really matters, and quit worrying about all this other junk.
Tuesday, September 4, 2012
Wednesday, August 22, 2012
The Most Terrifying 5 Minutes of My Life
It's amazing how dramatically your life can change in just a brief window of time.
A busy Saturday, that was to be spent doing to the 1400 things that needed to be done in preparation for Evie's birthday party, with a brief interlude of fishing with my mom because that's what Evie wanted to do for her birthday, That was what my Saturday was supposed to be. But it all changed very suddenly on Saturday night and I feel like my whole world may have shifted since.
When something bad happens to one of your kids, the amount of parental guilt you can feel is absolutely mind-boggling. Even when friends, family and medical professionals reassure you that you did nothing wrong and there was nothing you could have done to change the outcome. You can sit and replay and rethink and question and doubt for days. It'll eat you alive. And break your heart. All at once. Parental guilt, the "what if's" and "maybe should've's" of parenting, might be one of the hardest things.
Saturday was chaotic from the get-go. I had so much to try and get done for Evie's birthday party on Sunday. Both kids woke up early and cranky so they were whiny and hard to deal with. In addition to party stuff, I had the regular Saturday chores like laundry, to get finished up. Then after naps, we were planning on meeting my mom to take the girls fishing, because Evie told me that was what she wanted to do for her birthday.
When Elly woke up from her nap, she felt warm, but not feverish, just like she had slept under her blanket and was still warm. I had all of our stuff ready to go so that we could leave just as soon as Elly was awake and had had her snack. I had extra snacks and juice packed for us to have while fishing so that we could just have a late supper when we got back. Elly was a little whiny, but instead of sitting with her like I might usually do I was running around trying to get Evie to put her shoes on and put her toys away, so that was what I attributed Elly's attitude to. Elly ate her goldfish and drank her juice and we all loaded into the van and hit the road.
Driving to my mom's, I glanced back and Elly was just riding along and Evie, who insisted she didn't need a nap, was asleep. I was hoping to let Evie get a good half hour to an hour to improve her mood. When we got to my mom's I glanced back and saw that Evie was still asleep. Elly had been pretty quiet the whole ride and when I slid open her door, I saw that she had puked all over herself and her car seat and the back floor board.
My mom was on her front porch and I yelled that I needed some help and asked if she would come help me. I got Elly out of her seat and put her down in front of the car. My mom came up and I told her that Elly had been sick and asked if she would get her clothes off of her. Elly felt feverish warm. Like a low-grade fever. Not warm enough for me to even check her temperature. Not warm enough for me to even worry about it. Elly runs fevers when she's teething. Kids get stomach things all the time. They throw up once and then an hour later they're back to running around.
After we got everything cleaned up, Elly was still cranky and a little warm. We left her clothes off her and she was sitting around in a diaper. Evie was still asleep in the car, but both back doors were open and it was cool and comfy in the car. My mom and I sat at the picnic table passing Elly back and forth when she wanted to be held and letting her roam around the yard. She continued sipping on her juice. She still felt warm.
This is the hour that I play back in my head The hour that I worry at in my mind, pick at like a chipped nail or a loose tooth. The hour that bothers me. The hour between when Elly was sick and when she had the seizure. Because I wonder if somewhere in there I should have known that she was really sick. That something was really wrong. I never checked her temperature. I never gave her any Tylenol. I never worried about her being "sick."
After about half an hour, Evie woke up. She wanted to go swimming, since I felt like maybe Elly didn't feel up to going fishing. So, my mom and Evie changed into bathing suits and hopped into the pool. While they swam, Elly wanted to sit on my lap and she and I ended up looking through my phone's photo album and watching old videos. Elly doesn't always like to sit around on someone's lap, but she's much calmer and easier to entertain than Evie, so it's not uncommon for her. She continued to feel warm, but still not hot.
After Evie and Ma got done swimming, they came back to the porch, where Elly and I were, and Evie did a swim suit fashion show for us. Shortly afterward, Evie went inside to use the bathroom and was gone for a little too long so my mom went in to check on her. It was a little after 7 p.m.
Elly started fussing then. And scooted up on me so her head was over my shoulder. I guess she felt it coming. I asked her what was wrong and then I felt her arms and legs jerking. I pulled her away from me to look and her and her out were out of focus and it seemed like she couldn't hear me. I was completely confused for about a count of three. Then it just hit me. Elly had just had a seizure. I jumped up and went running into the house.
She was still out of it. My mom took a couple of times to understand what I was saying. Of course, I may have been a bit freaked out and difficult to understand. We got Elly and Evie both dressed and ready and headed outside. We were arranging who was going to put another car seat into my car, since Elly's was still damp from being washed out earlier. when Elly started seizing again.
I called work for an ambulance and sat down in the middle of the front yard with Elly.
I have talked dozens of parents through seizures before. It's a script that in my typical day I could probably read with my eyes closed. If you called 911 because your kid was having a seizure I could calm you down, dispatch you an ambulance and help you get through the experience without a moment's hesitation. But when my baby started having a seizure, I sat down in the yard and just tried not to cry.
I spend a very large part of my life dealing with other people's emergencies. From a choking to a cardiac arrest to baby momma drama, the severity of the emergency varies, but to the person on the other end of the line, it's still an emergency. I am trained to give emergency medical instructions over the phone and do so dozens of times a day. But nothing prepares you for when it's your emergency.
Elly's seizure lasted about 5 minutes. I definitely thought it was about 15 minutes. It took about 15 minutes for the paramedics to arrive. Luckily for me, one of my co-workers who happens to be an EMT, drove out to sit with us. Even after the seizure ended, it was nearly 10 minutes more before she started to actually wake up. It was so nerve-wracking to sit there holding her tiny limp body, watching her breathe, while I waited for her to come to.
By the time the medics arrived, Elly was awake and starting to come to. They took her temperature and it was 102.7. We all felt pretty confident that it might have been a febrile seizure. So, we decided to take Elly to the hospital. Nearly 7 hours later, Elly was released from the hospital. She had received 2 uber doses of Motrin and was sent home with another large dose of Ibuprofen. She'd had chest X-rays, blood tests, a catheter urine test, an IV run and had spent most of a night at the hospital. But they weren't able to find anything wrong with her other than the fever.
Needless to say, it was a bad night.
The next day, I just wanted to sit and hold her, all day. Since the experience, I have had a hard time denying her something she asks for or fussing at her for something. My hubby fusses at me for not fussing at her. And for all the excess coddling she's gotten for the last few days. But this whole experience has made me really, really more appreciative of the two (almost three) wonderful kids I have. And I want to spend as much time as possible with them. I don't want to spend my time yelling at them for dumb stuff. Who cares if they get sticky fingers on the furniture, it'll wash. That's why we got leather furniture. Who cares if they dump all their blocks out in the floor, they're good kids, they'll at least HELP pick them up. If they want to drag every toy out of their toy box so they can climb into the toy box to have a tea party, that's fine. There's no point in sweating the small stuff, because when they're grown up, my kids won't really remember if there were finger prints on my tv or if the floors were occasionally sticky. They'll remember the times we spent together.
This doesn't mean I'm going all lax on my housekeeping and my home is going to become an unsanitary pig sty. Just that I'm going to make sure that I'm letting my kids be kids. And that I'm right there with them, playing and laughing.
I'm going to be a little slower to frustration and quicker to praise. When I think back on the day prior to Elly's seizure, so much of my time that day was spent griping at the girls for making messes, for fighting, for needing attention when I had other things to get done, etc. I was stressed trying to get everything done so I was quick to snap when they got into something. I even had a hormonal break down over the mess they made at lunch. I don't want to ever look back from a scary moment like that one with Elly and feel so much regret over a wasted day.
I hope that maybe some good will come from this. Something other than a new paranoia over fevers. I feel like this has had a pretty tremendous impact on me as a parent. Hopefully, Elly will never have another seizure. The doctor said many children outgrow them without having a second. But reassured us that febrile seizures do not affect IQ or development. They don't do any damage. They are mostly just terrifying. Either way, I hope that this is the only such "growing" experience that I have to go through like this.
A busy Saturday, that was to be spent doing to the 1400 things that needed to be done in preparation for Evie's birthday party, with a brief interlude of fishing with my mom because that's what Evie wanted to do for her birthday, That was what my Saturday was supposed to be. But it all changed very suddenly on Saturday night and I feel like my whole world may have shifted since.
When something bad happens to one of your kids, the amount of parental guilt you can feel is absolutely mind-boggling. Even when friends, family and medical professionals reassure you that you did nothing wrong and there was nothing you could have done to change the outcome. You can sit and replay and rethink and question and doubt for days. It'll eat you alive. And break your heart. All at once. Parental guilt, the "what if's" and "maybe should've's" of parenting, might be one of the hardest things.
Saturday was chaotic from the get-go. I had so much to try and get done for Evie's birthday party on Sunday. Both kids woke up early and cranky so they were whiny and hard to deal with. In addition to party stuff, I had the regular Saturday chores like laundry, to get finished up. Then after naps, we were planning on meeting my mom to take the girls fishing, because Evie told me that was what she wanted to do for her birthday.
When Elly woke up from her nap, she felt warm, but not feverish, just like she had slept under her blanket and was still warm. I had all of our stuff ready to go so that we could leave just as soon as Elly was awake and had had her snack. I had extra snacks and juice packed for us to have while fishing so that we could just have a late supper when we got back. Elly was a little whiny, but instead of sitting with her like I might usually do I was running around trying to get Evie to put her shoes on and put her toys away, so that was what I attributed Elly's attitude to. Elly ate her goldfish and drank her juice and we all loaded into the van and hit the road.
Driving to my mom's, I glanced back and Elly was just riding along and Evie, who insisted she didn't need a nap, was asleep. I was hoping to let Evie get a good half hour to an hour to improve her mood. When we got to my mom's I glanced back and saw that Evie was still asleep. Elly had been pretty quiet the whole ride and when I slid open her door, I saw that she had puked all over herself and her car seat and the back floor board.
My mom was on her front porch and I yelled that I needed some help and asked if she would come help me. I got Elly out of her seat and put her down in front of the car. My mom came up and I told her that Elly had been sick and asked if she would get her clothes off of her. Elly felt feverish warm. Like a low-grade fever. Not warm enough for me to even check her temperature. Not warm enough for me to even worry about it. Elly runs fevers when she's teething. Kids get stomach things all the time. They throw up once and then an hour later they're back to running around.
After we got everything cleaned up, Elly was still cranky and a little warm. We left her clothes off her and she was sitting around in a diaper. Evie was still asleep in the car, but both back doors were open and it was cool and comfy in the car. My mom and I sat at the picnic table passing Elly back and forth when she wanted to be held and letting her roam around the yard. She continued sipping on her juice. She still felt warm.
This is the hour that I play back in my head The hour that I worry at in my mind, pick at like a chipped nail or a loose tooth. The hour that bothers me. The hour between when Elly was sick and when she had the seizure. Because I wonder if somewhere in there I should have known that she was really sick. That something was really wrong. I never checked her temperature. I never gave her any Tylenol. I never worried about her being "sick."
After about half an hour, Evie woke up. She wanted to go swimming, since I felt like maybe Elly didn't feel up to going fishing. So, my mom and Evie changed into bathing suits and hopped into the pool. While they swam, Elly wanted to sit on my lap and she and I ended up looking through my phone's photo album and watching old videos. Elly doesn't always like to sit around on someone's lap, but she's much calmer and easier to entertain than Evie, so it's not uncommon for her. She continued to feel warm, but still not hot.
After Evie and Ma got done swimming, they came back to the porch, where Elly and I were, and Evie did a swim suit fashion show for us. Shortly afterward, Evie went inside to use the bathroom and was gone for a little too long so my mom went in to check on her. It was a little after 7 p.m.
Elly started fussing then. And scooted up on me so her head was over my shoulder. I guess she felt it coming. I asked her what was wrong and then I felt her arms and legs jerking. I pulled her away from me to look and her and her out were out of focus and it seemed like she couldn't hear me. I was completely confused for about a count of three. Then it just hit me. Elly had just had a seizure. I jumped up and went running into the house.
She was still out of it. My mom took a couple of times to understand what I was saying. Of course, I may have been a bit freaked out and difficult to understand. We got Elly and Evie both dressed and ready and headed outside. We were arranging who was going to put another car seat into my car, since Elly's was still damp from being washed out earlier. when Elly started seizing again.
I called work for an ambulance and sat down in the middle of the front yard with Elly.
I have talked dozens of parents through seizures before. It's a script that in my typical day I could probably read with my eyes closed. If you called 911 because your kid was having a seizure I could calm you down, dispatch you an ambulance and help you get through the experience without a moment's hesitation. But when my baby started having a seizure, I sat down in the yard and just tried not to cry.
I spend a very large part of my life dealing with other people's emergencies. From a choking to a cardiac arrest to baby momma drama, the severity of the emergency varies, but to the person on the other end of the line, it's still an emergency. I am trained to give emergency medical instructions over the phone and do so dozens of times a day. But nothing prepares you for when it's your emergency.
Elly's seizure lasted about 5 minutes. I definitely thought it was about 15 minutes. It took about 15 minutes for the paramedics to arrive. Luckily for me, one of my co-workers who happens to be an EMT, drove out to sit with us. Even after the seizure ended, it was nearly 10 minutes more before she started to actually wake up. It was so nerve-wracking to sit there holding her tiny limp body, watching her breathe, while I waited for her to come to.
By the time the medics arrived, Elly was awake and starting to come to. They took her temperature and it was 102.7. We all felt pretty confident that it might have been a febrile seizure. So, we decided to take Elly to the hospital. Nearly 7 hours later, Elly was released from the hospital. She had received 2 uber doses of Motrin and was sent home with another large dose of Ibuprofen. She'd had chest X-rays, blood tests, a catheter urine test, an IV run and had spent most of a night at the hospital. But they weren't able to find anything wrong with her other than the fever.
Needless to say, it was a bad night.
The next day, I just wanted to sit and hold her, all day. Since the experience, I have had a hard time denying her something she asks for or fussing at her for something. My hubby fusses at me for not fussing at her. And for all the excess coddling she's gotten for the last few days. But this whole experience has made me really, really more appreciative of the two (almost three) wonderful kids I have. And I want to spend as much time as possible with them. I don't want to spend my time yelling at them for dumb stuff. Who cares if they get sticky fingers on the furniture, it'll wash. That's why we got leather furniture. Who cares if they dump all their blocks out in the floor, they're good kids, they'll at least HELP pick them up. If they want to drag every toy out of their toy box so they can climb into the toy box to have a tea party, that's fine. There's no point in sweating the small stuff, because when they're grown up, my kids won't really remember if there were finger prints on my tv or if the floors were occasionally sticky. They'll remember the times we spent together.
This doesn't mean I'm going all lax on my housekeeping and my home is going to become an unsanitary pig sty. Just that I'm going to make sure that I'm letting my kids be kids. And that I'm right there with them, playing and laughing.
I'm going to be a little slower to frustration and quicker to praise. When I think back on the day prior to Elly's seizure, so much of my time that day was spent griping at the girls for making messes, for fighting, for needing attention when I had other things to get done, etc. I was stressed trying to get everything done so I was quick to snap when they got into something. I even had a hormonal break down over the mess they made at lunch. I don't want to ever look back from a scary moment like that one with Elly and feel so much regret over a wasted day.
I hope that maybe some good will come from this. Something other than a new paranoia over fevers. I feel like this has had a pretty tremendous impact on me as a parent. Hopefully, Elly will never have another seizure. The doctor said many children outgrow them without having a second. But reassured us that febrile seizures do not affect IQ or development. They don't do any damage. They are mostly just terrifying. Either way, I hope that this is the only such "growing" experience that I have to go through like this.
Thursday, August 16, 2012
The ASTOUNDING differences
Okay...so astounding might be a bit overstated. Maybe just the most obvious differences. This pregnancy isn't even halfway over and already the differences are pretty impressive.
I hope this doesn't become a whiny post. I really, really don't mean it as whining. Even in the most uncomfortable, I'm ready to have this baby NOW moments, I am ever grateful and appreciative of the miracle of life. I hate hearing those pregnant girls that just bitch and moan about the woes of pregnancy. There are times that being pregnant kinda sucks. I admit that. But please don't use being pregnant as your "Whine about everything" for free card. Of course, I am a little envious of those women who LOVE being pregnant and have no problems. But I try really hard not be one of those whiny ones. Even when I really want to whine!
Of course, every pregnancy is different. I know that. I learned that quite quickly in my second pregnancy. However, looking back, I can see the many similarities between the two pregnancies that this one doesn't have. Maybe I just didn't realize how similar they were until I experienced a TRULY different pregnancy.
One big difference has been the sickness. The only thing I can safely eat for breakfast is Multigrain Cheerios. Greasy stuff is a no-no. Overly sweet stuff is too. No fried bologna. No pancakes. No doughnuts. At least not on an empty stomach. If I eat something else first, then slightly greasy or a little sweet is manageable. Usually, I just stick with my cheerios.
For the first 9 weeks, I wasn't too sick in the mornings, but I got nauseous every afternoon around 2 p.m. and it would last a couple of hours. Then it disappeared. I got my energy back. Felt great. So good, that I called my doctor's office, embarrassed but concerned. Was it okay that I felt better already? The nurse assured me that it was.
Two weeks later however, that sickness came back with a vengeance. I spent an entire 24 hour period unable to keep food or water down. It sucked. It took nearly a week to learn to manage the sickness, between eating only certain foods and avoiding an empty stomach, focusing on protein and sucking on Preggie Pop Drops when I felt woozy. I still suffer from the nausea if I don't watch myself. If I get too hungry or eat the wrong stuff. But I haven't actually thrown up in about 2 weeks now. So, the Preggie Pop Drops are working.
I don't know if this sickness is going to go away or not. Hopefully once the baby is born I can get back to normal at least. But for now I'm 14.5 weeks pregnant and still suffering from "morning" sickness.
Another difference has been my skin. With the previous pregnancies, I had a pretty major breakout the first couple of weeks after finding out I was pregnant. Weeks 4-6 or 8, I was back in my teenage years when I looked in the mirror. But then it went away! And for the next 6 months or so, I had glowing, healthy pregnancy skin! Also, my typical skin problems, like my eczema and dry skin, were nonexistent during my pregnancies. My hair was luxurious and stopped shedding. It was so healthy and pretty the whole pregnancy!
This time, my skin has continued to be awful. And my hair is so dry and brittle! I have had to return to the acne aisle and reinvest in face washes and scrubs that I used in adolescence. I've had to stop using previous lotions because they were just making the situation worse. With new lotions and washes, I have got it somewhat under control. But my face is definitely not the same as it was 6 months ago. And I don't know what to do for my hair. Just, trying to get through it I guess.
I've also been suffering from constant congestion this time around. My nose always feels a bit stuffy. I know allergies have already started up, and I have been dealing with those some as well. Last week, the allergy drainage turned into a sinus infection which then lead to a chest cold/cough. FUN! But even without the allergies, I have this continuous stuffy-headed feeling. It's a bit weird. I feel okay most of the time, and if I blow my nose nothing happens, but I just feel congested.
This time there has also been insomnia. For the first couple of months, I couldn't keep my eyes open past lunch time it seemed. By the time I got the girls home and in the bed, I was out. But now, I will lie awake until 2 or 3 a.m. and then wake up exhausted at 7 a.m. unless I take something. I tried exercising early in the day. Staying active to burn enough energy to be tired. Tried chamomile tea. Tried various sleep situations. The problem wasn't being tired. I was exhausted! Was all I could do to get the girls to bed and get myself ready for bed. The moment I climbed under the sheets however, I was WIDE awake. I spoke with my OB and she seemed pretty comfortable with me taking a Benadryl at night to help me sleep. Of course, I have such a wussy tolerance for meds, I can't take a full dose of Benadryl. I can't even take half a dose! I take a quarter dose, or half a Benadryl, to help me sleep. That way I'm able to sleep about 8 hours at night.
So far, weight gain has been slow but steady, which is a nice difference. I look slightly pregnant in maternity stuff, but if I wear something baggy, I mostly look a lil chubby in the middle. The baby has continued to measure about a week ahead and I'm anxious for him/her to get to those big kicks and flips and twists. Despite the many challenges, I feel good. Only 4 more weeks until the BIG ultrasound. It will be so nice to be at the halfway point in the pregnancy, know the baby's gender and see that everything is okay with the baby.
Everyone says that with all the differences in the this pregnancy, it just HAS to be a boy! But we shall see!
I hope this doesn't become a whiny post. I really, really don't mean it as whining. Even in the most uncomfortable, I'm ready to have this baby NOW moments, I am ever grateful and appreciative of the miracle of life. I hate hearing those pregnant girls that just bitch and moan about the woes of pregnancy. There are times that being pregnant kinda sucks. I admit that. But please don't use being pregnant as your "Whine about everything" for free card. Of course, I am a little envious of those women who LOVE being pregnant and have no problems. But I try really hard not be one of those whiny ones. Even when I really want to whine!
Of course, every pregnancy is different. I know that. I learned that quite quickly in my second pregnancy. However, looking back, I can see the many similarities between the two pregnancies that this one doesn't have. Maybe I just didn't realize how similar they were until I experienced a TRULY different pregnancy.
One big difference has been the sickness. The only thing I can safely eat for breakfast is Multigrain Cheerios. Greasy stuff is a no-no. Overly sweet stuff is too. No fried bologna. No pancakes. No doughnuts. At least not on an empty stomach. If I eat something else first, then slightly greasy or a little sweet is manageable. Usually, I just stick with my cheerios.
For the first 9 weeks, I wasn't too sick in the mornings, but I got nauseous every afternoon around 2 p.m. and it would last a couple of hours. Then it disappeared. I got my energy back. Felt great. So good, that I called my doctor's office, embarrassed but concerned. Was it okay that I felt better already? The nurse assured me that it was.
Two weeks later however, that sickness came back with a vengeance. I spent an entire 24 hour period unable to keep food or water down. It sucked. It took nearly a week to learn to manage the sickness, between eating only certain foods and avoiding an empty stomach, focusing on protein and sucking on Preggie Pop Drops when I felt woozy. I still suffer from the nausea if I don't watch myself. If I get too hungry or eat the wrong stuff. But I haven't actually thrown up in about 2 weeks now. So, the Preggie Pop Drops are working.
I don't know if this sickness is going to go away or not. Hopefully once the baby is born I can get back to normal at least. But for now I'm 14.5 weeks pregnant and still suffering from "morning" sickness.
Another difference has been my skin. With the previous pregnancies, I had a pretty major breakout the first couple of weeks after finding out I was pregnant. Weeks 4-6 or 8, I was back in my teenage years when I looked in the mirror. But then it went away! And for the next 6 months or so, I had glowing, healthy pregnancy skin! Also, my typical skin problems, like my eczema and dry skin, were nonexistent during my pregnancies. My hair was luxurious and stopped shedding. It was so healthy and pretty the whole pregnancy!
This time, my skin has continued to be awful. And my hair is so dry and brittle! I have had to return to the acne aisle and reinvest in face washes and scrubs that I used in adolescence. I've had to stop using previous lotions because they were just making the situation worse. With new lotions and washes, I have got it somewhat under control. But my face is definitely not the same as it was 6 months ago. And I don't know what to do for my hair. Just, trying to get through it I guess.
I've also been suffering from constant congestion this time around. My nose always feels a bit stuffy. I know allergies have already started up, and I have been dealing with those some as well. Last week, the allergy drainage turned into a sinus infection which then lead to a chest cold/cough. FUN! But even without the allergies, I have this continuous stuffy-headed feeling. It's a bit weird. I feel okay most of the time, and if I blow my nose nothing happens, but I just feel congested.
This time there has also been insomnia. For the first couple of months, I couldn't keep my eyes open past lunch time it seemed. By the time I got the girls home and in the bed, I was out. But now, I will lie awake until 2 or 3 a.m. and then wake up exhausted at 7 a.m. unless I take something. I tried exercising early in the day. Staying active to burn enough energy to be tired. Tried chamomile tea. Tried various sleep situations. The problem wasn't being tired. I was exhausted! Was all I could do to get the girls to bed and get myself ready for bed. The moment I climbed under the sheets however, I was WIDE awake. I spoke with my OB and she seemed pretty comfortable with me taking a Benadryl at night to help me sleep. Of course, I have such a wussy tolerance for meds, I can't take a full dose of Benadryl. I can't even take half a dose! I take a quarter dose, or half a Benadryl, to help me sleep. That way I'm able to sleep about 8 hours at night.
So far, weight gain has been slow but steady, which is a nice difference. I look slightly pregnant in maternity stuff, but if I wear something baggy, I mostly look a lil chubby in the middle. The baby has continued to measure about a week ahead and I'm anxious for him/her to get to those big kicks and flips and twists. Despite the many challenges, I feel good. Only 4 more weeks until the BIG ultrasound. It will be so nice to be at the halfway point in the pregnancy, know the baby's gender and see that everything is okay with the baby.
Everyone says that with all the differences in the this pregnancy, it just HAS to be a boy! But we shall see!
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Hello Baby Bump...
The first time you are pregnant, you can't wait to start showing. The first few months of waiting for your belly to pooch out are cruel. You cannot wait for that belly so that everyone that sees you knows that you're pregnant.
Subsequent pregnancies, you don't have to wait. Or at least I haven't had to. When the hormones hit my abdominal muscles they know JUST what to do. And they do it. And then this little momma is wearing maternity pants at the beginning of the second trimester. It has been interesting to watch my body change with each pregnancy. The differences, the similarities. Each baby grows its own way and makes my body its home.
The most interesting difference this time hasn't been when I show. I actually waited longer this time to start showing than I did with Elly. I was already pretty big at Evie's first birthday, and unless something crazy happens in the next couple of weeks, that won't be the case this time. I hope that means I won't be as humongous as I was with Elly. But I doubt I will be so lucky! The interesting part has been the fact that I'm already measuring ahead...and that doesn't typically happen until the second trimester. I've had a bigger belly in previous pregnancies. But the part the doc measures is the uterus height. Not the fat, bloating, constipation, etc. that causes extra belly. But just the uterus. And I know I've got belly from the icky stuff. But this time I've been able to really feel and even SEE my uterus grow.
At my last appointment, the doc said I was measuring one month ahead. One month! So I'm very anxious for my next ultrasound, and seeing if this extra growth is all uterus or all baby. On one hand I'm hoping its baby...since that's the healthiest way to grow. But at the same time, I don't want to have a 12 pounder!
Maybe by the ultrasound it will all have balanced out. Who knows
I do like having the lil baby bump. The next four or five months are the really enjoyable ones of pregnancy. Most of the woes and worries of the first trimester are behind me. I have more energy and look pregnant, but am not so pregnant that I'm miserable.
And sometime in the next few weeks I will probably be feeling baby move! I felt Elly at 14 weeks and Evie at 16. Depending on where the placenta is and all of course. I have felt some small flutters in the last week. I know a doctor will probably tell me it is just gas bubbles or whatever...but I can tell the difference. And its only been when I am sitting in such a way that my tummy is kinda cramped. I am looking forward to the real kicks and flips and hiccups. That is one of my favorite parts of pregnancy!
Subsequent pregnancies, you don't have to wait. Or at least I haven't had to. When the hormones hit my abdominal muscles they know JUST what to do. And they do it. And then this little momma is wearing maternity pants at the beginning of the second trimester. It has been interesting to watch my body change with each pregnancy. The differences, the similarities. Each baby grows its own way and makes my body its home.
The most interesting difference this time hasn't been when I show. I actually waited longer this time to start showing than I did with Elly. I was already pretty big at Evie's first birthday, and unless something crazy happens in the next couple of weeks, that won't be the case this time. I hope that means I won't be as humongous as I was with Elly. But I doubt I will be so lucky! The interesting part has been the fact that I'm already measuring ahead...and that doesn't typically happen until the second trimester. I've had a bigger belly in previous pregnancies. But the part the doc measures is the uterus height. Not the fat, bloating, constipation, etc. that causes extra belly. But just the uterus. And I know I've got belly from the icky stuff. But this time I've been able to really feel and even SEE my uterus grow.
At my last appointment, the doc said I was measuring one month ahead. One month! So I'm very anxious for my next ultrasound, and seeing if this extra growth is all uterus or all baby. On one hand I'm hoping its baby...since that's the healthiest way to grow. But at the same time, I don't want to have a 12 pounder!
Maybe by the ultrasound it will all have balanced out. Who knows
I do like having the lil baby bump. The next four or five months are the really enjoyable ones of pregnancy. Most of the woes and worries of the first trimester are behind me. I have more energy and look pregnant, but am not so pregnant that I'm miserable.
And sometime in the next few weeks I will probably be feeling baby move! I felt Elly at 14 weeks and Evie at 16. Depending on where the placenta is and all of course. I have felt some small flutters in the last week. I know a doctor will probably tell me it is just gas bubbles or whatever...but I can tell the difference. And its only been when I am sitting in such a way that my tummy is kinda cramped. I am looking forward to the real kicks and flips and hiccups. That is one of my favorite parts of pregnancy!
Goodbye First Trimester
Well, if the speedy passing of the first trimester is any indication of how quickly the rest of the pregnancy is going to go, I better start doing more blogging or I won't remember any of it!
I cannot believe I am already finishing up my first trimester of my third pregnancy. It has been a very busy few years and I wouldn't change any of it, honestly. I am so glad that my third child is going to be close in age to the first two (but not quite as close as them! haha). Elly will be nearly two when #3 comes along and Evie will be 3.5.
I have done the math and redone the math and I'm pretty sure I will have nearly 3 months of time off accrued to enjoy with the new baby. Plus some QT with my older two! And that should be a sufficient time to get the littlest one on schedule with the others. Hopefully. Of course I will only have that much time if I manage to not take any more time off in the next 6 months. Which, after my bout yesterday with a stomach bug (or something), may be more challenging than anticipated.
I might just be more excited about this pregnancy and baby than the other two. I hope that doesn't sound bad. But unlike my previous pregnancies, I really feel like I know what to expect all around this time. Not that I don't know there could be a monkey wrench thrown in any day. I know things can change. With Evie, it was my first time for all of it. I didn't know what to expect from pregnancy, labor, birth or a new baby. No clue. And despite all my reading and preparing I still couldn't have been truly ready for parenthood. With Elly, I expected everything to go like my first pregnancy, which it didn't. And I expected labor and delivery to be way faster, which it wasn't. And I expected things to be pretty simple when we brought her home, which couldn't have been further from the truth. I thought that since I had done the newborn thing once, it would be easy to do again. I didn't realize how much harder it would be with another child. Or how much more difficult things would be with the first child when we added a second baby to the equation.
Pregnancy is made some what easier by having two other children to take care of. Well, not easier I guess. But certainly speedier. There is no time to sit around and moon over being pregnant and pine over how much longer until the baby comes. Those 4 weeks between appointments that dragged by with the first pregnancy are gone in a flash this time around. I have jokingly wondered if I could push the appointments to maybe every 6 weeks because I just don't have time to go to the doctor every month! I dunno how I will manage twice a month and weekly appointments towards the end. And there isn't time to sit around and be sore or lie around with my feet up. There is far too much to do between girls, work and the house.
And this time, I feel like even though this pregnancy is way different than the previous two, I'm a bit more prepared for it this time. The second time every little thing made me worry because I hadn't dealt with it when I was pregnant the first time. Now it's "Eh, feels like stretching pains," or "Back pain from overdoing it," or "Cramps from not peeing often enough." I've been through pretty much all the normal stuff at this point, most of it twice, so I feel like I can trust my judgment on when I should worry and when to call the doctor. Maybe that just comes from being a more experienced mom at this point. It kinda helps prepare for a lot of different things.
I know that bringing home a new baby will be incredibly challenging. And I am going to try breastfeeding this time. So that's going to add a whole new level to the challenge. Last time I may have been overly optimistic. I wasn't prepared for how exhausted I was going to be or how difficult Evie would become. And nothing could have prepared me for the trial of having Elly hospitalized at 10 days old.
But I am excited and hopeful. The next 6 months are going to be busy, even without the pregnancy. With the pregnancy, it's going to be a bit wild. Elly's third and final procedure is next Friday. I have another doctor's appointment, including an ultrasound (YAY!) the next week. Evie's THIRD birthday is just a couple weeks after, with her third birthday party, which will be fun but a busy couple of days. Then September is my birthday, my nephew's second birthday and the big 20 week ultrasound. I will be finishing up Christmas shopping, picking out Halloween costumes, switching out summer wardrobe for winter, and finally getting to buy stuff for the new baby in October. Then there will be Halloween, decorating for fall, followed by Thanksgiving. I will, of course, be working on Turkey Day. But I'm hoping that my family will be able to get together that weekend for a big celebratory meal at my house. Hopefully my husband will let me decorate for Christmas the week of Thanksgiving again this year. I liked having the tree up and the house all pretty when family came last year. I would like to do that again. Then it will be my absolute favorite time of the year, CHRISTMAS! Sugar cookies, and gingerbread houses and lights and maybe a little snow. Christmas is going to be even more fun this year with Evie and Elly. And then once Christmas is over and the tree is packed back up and all the lights are put away...I will have between 4-6 weeks to get ready for a baby.
So see, it's really going to be a pretty busy rest of the year!
I cannot believe I am already finishing up my first trimester of my third pregnancy. It has been a very busy few years and I wouldn't change any of it, honestly. I am so glad that my third child is going to be close in age to the first two (but not quite as close as them! haha). Elly will be nearly two when #3 comes along and Evie will be 3.5.
I have done the math and redone the math and I'm pretty sure I will have nearly 3 months of time off accrued to enjoy with the new baby. Plus some QT with my older two! And that should be a sufficient time to get the littlest one on schedule with the others. Hopefully. Of course I will only have that much time if I manage to not take any more time off in the next 6 months. Which, after my bout yesterday with a stomach bug (or something), may be more challenging than anticipated.
I might just be more excited about this pregnancy and baby than the other two. I hope that doesn't sound bad. But unlike my previous pregnancies, I really feel like I know what to expect all around this time. Not that I don't know there could be a monkey wrench thrown in any day. I know things can change. With Evie, it was my first time for all of it. I didn't know what to expect from pregnancy, labor, birth or a new baby. No clue. And despite all my reading and preparing I still couldn't have been truly ready for parenthood. With Elly, I expected everything to go like my first pregnancy, which it didn't. And I expected labor and delivery to be way faster, which it wasn't. And I expected things to be pretty simple when we brought her home, which couldn't have been further from the truth. I thought that since I had done the newborn thing once, it would be easy to do again. I didn't realize how much harder it would be with another child. Or how much more difficult things would be with the first child when we added a second baby to the equation.
Pregnancy is made some what easier by having two other children to take care of. Well, not easier I guess. But certainly speedier. There is no time to sit around and moon over being pregnant and pine over how much longer until the baby comes. Those 4 weeks between appointments that dragged by with the first pregnancy are gone in a flash this time around. I have jokingly wondered if I could push the appointments to maybe every 6 weeks because I just don't have time to go to the doctor every month! I dunno how I will manage twice a month and weekly appointments towards the end. And there isn't time to sit around and be sore or lie around with my feet up. There is far too much to do between girls, work and the house.
And this time, I feel like even though this pregnancy is way different than the previous two, I'm a bit more prepared for it this time. The second time every little thing made me worry because I hadn't dealt with it when I was pregnant the first time. Now it's "Eh, feels like stretching pains," or "Back pain from overdoing it," or "Cramps from not peeing often enough." I've been through pretty much all the normal stuff at this point, most of it twice, so I feel like I can trust my judgment on when I should worry and when to call the doctor. Maybe that just comes from being a more experienced mom at this point. It kinda helps prepare for a lot of different things.
I know that bringing home a new baby will be incredibly challenging. And I am going to try breastfeeding this time. So that's going to add a whole new level to the challenge. Last time I may have been overly optimistic. I wasn't prepared for how exhausted I was going to be or how difficult Evie would become. And nothing could have prepared me for the trial of having Elly hospitalized at 10 days old.
But I am excited and hopeful. The next 6 months are going to be busy, even without the pregnancy. With the pregnancy, it's going to be a bit wild. Elly's third and final procedure is next Friday. I have another doctor's appointment, including an ultrasound (YAY!) the next week. Evie's THIRD birthday is just a couple weeks after, with her third birthday party, which will be fun but a busy couple of days. Then September is my birthday, my nephew's second birthday and the big 20 week ultrasound. I will be finishing up Christmas shopping, picking out Halloween costumes, switching out summer wardrobe for winter, and finally getting to buy stuff for the new baby in October. Then there will be Halloween, decorating for fall, followed by Thanksgiving. I will, of course, be working on Turkey Day. But I'm hoping that my family will be able to get together that weekend for a big celebratory meal at my house. Hopefully my husband will let me decorate for Christmas the week of Thanksgiving again this year. I liked having the tree up and the house all pretty when family came last year. I would like to do that again. Then it will be my absolute favorite time of the year, CHRISTMAS! Sugar cookies, and gingerbread houses and lights and maybe a little snow. Christmas is going to be even more fun this year with Evie and Elly. And then once Christmas is over and the tree is packed back up and all the lights are put away...I will have between 4-6 weeks to get ready for a baby.
So see, it's really going to be a pretty busy rest of the year!
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
It's official
So. It's public. I am pregnant.
I've peed on a few sticks. Peed in a cup. And I've even seen the baby on an ultrasound!
So I'm really pregnant.
Before you even ask, yes, we wanted a third one. No, this is not an accident. Yes, we know what causes that. And no, we weren't trying for a boy, though my husband will probably dance a jig if this baby has dangley bits at the 20 week ultrasound.
I blogged a few months ago about the difficult decision to have additional children. After much discussion, my husband and I decided that we did want another child. Now, here we are. Number three is due in February 2013.
So far, things are going well. Morning sickness has been mild. I have been super exhausted and needing a lot of sleep. But as long as I go to bed when the girls do and don't stay up watching television, I feel okay. That means I'm getting about 9-10 hours of sleep most nights. Which is pretty crazy since I used to get about 6-8 hours of sleep. I am not doing nearly as much around the house as I was. My husband has banned me from using the stairs to the basement which means no more laundry. And he has been doing a LOT of the cooking and cleaning. I know I will have the energy to resume a lot of that once the first trimester is over, but for now it is REALLY nice to just rest. Means I get to spend a lot more time watching my babies play. And it's really touching that my husband has done so much to step up and help out.
I have also felt a lot more of the "stretching" pains super early. In the last two pregnancies, I remember having stretching pains, ligaments and joins and muscles that have to accommodate that big ole uterus, but it wasn't until I had a big ole uterus. Right now my uterus is about the size of an orange. Not really very big! So, I find the pains to be a little puzzling. But the nurses assure me it's completely normal, especially in later pregnancies. Apparently since my body has done this twice before, the moment those pregnancy hormones hit my body resumed "pregnancy mode."
Even though I'm only 6.5 weeks, I can already see a difference in my body. I haven't gained any pregnancy weight but my pants are tighter. My belly is bit more poochy. I'm looking forward to the bigger boobs. I have missed them! haha. But I didn't miss my clothes not fitting!
Only 5 weeks left of my first trimester. This pregnancy is already flying by! And I'm going to a new OB this time. Was tired of the drive to my old doctor and they have gotten so popular that it is nearly impossible to get an appointment. While I will miss the staff and familiarity of my previous doctor's office, it is nice to have a 10 minute drive instead of 30-45 minutes. And when I had some spotting/bleeding last week, my old doctor's office told me they could see me in July. The new one got me in yesterday. So, I'm already pretty happy with my decision.
I guess a new pregnancy will certainly give me something to blog about. Maybe I can remember to post more than once a month! haha. Maybe.
And I'm already having humorous preggo stories.
Like, when I first told Evie that we were going to have another baby, she literally got up and walked off. Told me that she didn't want to talk about it. Of course, later, she came back and asked questions. Wanted to make sure that the baby wasn't going to mess up her birthday (which is pretty huge for her right now!) and wanted to make sure that Christmas wouldn't be affected. I assured her that the baby wouldn't be here until after her birthday and Christmas. I also explained that Evie would be promoted to "Biggest" sister and Elly would become the "Big" sister and Evie was SUPER excited about that. Of course, Evie has told me she wants a little brother. We shall see.
Last week, I watched Tangled with my family, all of us piled up on the couch, and at the end when Eugene/Flynn dies I started crying. Now, I have seen this movie a hundred times. I have never cried, never even sniffled, when he died. This time it was full on fountain of tears. Evie took my hand and asked "Momma...what's wrong?" When I answered nothing, she continued to stare at me...a bit incredulous that I was crying. "Momma...this is a happy ending." Of course I couldn't explain silly hormones. "Momma, it's going to be okay. Rapunzel is going to heal him. It's okay." I'm not sure which of us was more relieved when I finally stopped crying. Josh laughed the whole time.
And just as a random side note: All I want to eat is Spam. Spam. Spam. And more spam. Yummy. Fried Eggs with fried spam on toast with mayo and a thick slice of cheddar cheese is HEAVENLY. It's the strangest thing.
Oh, and I've been having numerous zombie apocalypse dreams. Dunno what is up with that.
I've peed on a few sticks. Peed in a cup. And I've even seen the baby on an ultrasound!
So I'm really pregnant.
Before you even ask, yes, we wanted a third one. No, this is not an accident. Yes, we know what causes that. And no, we weren't trying for a boy, though my husband will probably dance a jig if this baby has dangley bits at the 20 week ultrasound.
I blogged a few months ago about the difficult decision to have additional children. After much discussion, my husband and I decided that we did want another child. Now, here we are. Number three is due in February 2013.
So far, things are going well. Morning sickness has been mild. I have been super exhausted and needing a lot of sleep. But as long as I go to bed when the girls do and don't stay up watching television, I feel okay. That means I'm getting about 9-10 hours of sleep most nights. Which is pretty crazy since I used to get about 6-8 hours of sleep. I am not doing nearly as much around the house as I was. My husband has banned me from using the stairs to the basement which means no more laundry. And he has been doing a LOT of the cooking and cleaning. I know I will have the energy to resume a lot of that once the first trimester is over, but for now it is REALLY nice to just rest. Means I get to spend a lot more time watching my babies play. And it's really touching that my husband has done so much to step up and help out.
I have also felt a lot more of the "stretching" pains super early. In the last two pregnancies, I remember having stretching pains, ligaments and joins and muscles that have to accommodate that big ole uterus, but it wasn't until I had a big ole uterus. Right now my uterus is about the size of an orange. Not really very big! So, I find the pains to be a little puzzling. But the nurses assure me it's completely normal, especially in later pregnancies. Apparently since my body has done this twice before, the moment those pregnancy hormones hit my body resumed "pregnancy mode."
Even though I'm only 6.5 weeks, I can already see a difference in my body. I haven't gained any pregnancy weight but my pants are tighter. My belly is bit more poochy. I'm looking forward to the bigger boobs. I have missed them! haha. But I didn't miss my clothes not fitting!
Only 5 weeks left of my first trimester. This pregnancy is already flying by! And I'm going to a new OB this time. Was tired of the drive to my old doctor and they have gotten so popular that it is nearly impossible to get an appointment. While I will miss the staff and familiarity of my previous doctor's office, it is nice to have a 10 minute drive instead of 30-45 minutes. And when I had some spotting/bleeding last week, my old doctor's office told me they could see me in July. The new one got me in yesterday. So, I'm already pretty happy with my decision.
I guess a new pregnancy will certainly give me something to blog about. Maybe I can remember to post more than once a month! haha. Maybe.
And I'm already having humorous preggo stories.
Like, when I first told Evie that we were going to have another baby, she literally got up and walked off. Told me that she didn't want to talk about it. Of course, later, she came back and asked questions. Wanted to make sure that the baby wasn't going to mess up her birthday (which is pretty huge for her right now!) and wanted to make sure that Christmas wouldn't be affected. I assured her that the baby wouldn't be here until after her birthday and Christmas. I also explained that Evie would be promoted to "Biggest" sister and Elly would become the "Big" sister and Evie was SUPER excited about that. Of course, Evie has told me she wants a little brother. We shall see.
Last week, I watched Tangled with my family, all of us piled up on the couch, and at the end when Eugene/Flynn dies I started crying. Now, I have seen this movie a hundred times. I have never cried, never even sniffled, when he died. This time it was full on fountain of tears. Evie took my hand and asked "Momma...what's wrong?" When I answered nothing, she continued to stare at me...a bit incredulous that I was crying. "Momma...this is a happy ending." Of course I couldn't explain silly hormones. "Momma, it's going to be okay. Rapunzel is going to heal him. It's okay." I'm not sure which of us was more relieved when I finally stopped crying. Josh laughed the whole time.
And just as a random side note: All I want to eat is Spam. Spam. Spam. And more spam. Yummy. Fried Eggs with fried spam on toast with mayo and a thick slice of cheddar cheese is HEAVENLY. It's the strangest thing.
Oh, and I've been having numerous zombie apocalypse dreams. Dunno what is up with that.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
How Dare They Ask...
So, I know the Internet is absolutely going ape s*** over the Time magazine cover. And despite my initial reluctance to weigh in...I decided to do it.
I find the Time cover to be incredibly offensive.
There. I said it. I'm going to be honest though. I haven't read the story. And probably won't bring myself to. I have read stories and blogs on extended breastfeeding as well as attachment parenting. While I don't personally buy it, I believe that within reasonable limits, parents should be able to make choices regarding how they raise their children. And if they want to breastfeed their five year-old...more power to them. Ick. But whatever.
What I find so incredibly insulting is the accompanying headline, "Are You Mom Enough?".
How dare anyone call out mothers over something so silly and insignificant as how they choose to feed their child. With all the insanity in the world today bottle vs. breast seems to be getting way too much hype. I feel like it is for all the wrong reasons. Call moms out for spending more time with friends than their kids. Or for doing drugs in front of their kids. For texting and driving with their kids. Or for letting their kids watch age-inappropriate television. Whatever. But for using a bottle instead of a breast?!?
I support breast feeding. I have read the research supporting breastfeeding. But what I REALLY support is mothers. Mothers being able to care for their babies in the best way, not just for the baby, but for the whole family. Some women aren't comfortable with breastfeeding. Some women aren't able to breastfeed. And some women darn near kill themselves trying because they have been so guilted into it by some other woman's BS superiority complex. They push themselves so hard and feel worthless and useless because they can't feed their baby the way they have been told by all the "good" books that they should. Or maybe they are only able to feed for the first couple of days or the first couple of months. Maybe the baby has a milk allergy or reflux or a weak tongue or won't latch.
How dare ANYONE make that woman feel like less of a mom!!
I breastfed Evie for almost the first 6 weeks. Before returning to work, I introduced a bottle and when I did, my milk supply pretty much dried right up. Despite my intentions to continue breastfeeding part-time, my body was in an all or nothing sort of mood and chose to not cooperate. And I honestly was relieved. With bottles, other people could feed her. I could sleep. It was so much easier. But I felt pretty good for having tried.
With Elly, I chose to not even attempt breast feeding. Evie wasn't even 18 months old when she became a big sister. She was still a baby herself. And I knew before we even brought Elly home, that it was not going to be feasible for me to take care of my big baby and breastfeed my little baby. I knew I needed all the help I could get and one of the ways I was going to need help was going to be with feeding the little one. And obviously, if I chose to breastfeed, no one else would be able to help with that. Looking back, at times I wish I had tried to breastfeed her, but I know that it would not have worked and it would have left me even more exhausted and overwhelmed than I was.
I refused to feel guilty for not being able to feed Evie longer or for not choosing to breastfeed Elly. But I am not surprised by the number of mothers who do feel guilty and like less of a woman for not being willing or able to breastfeed. I am surprised by the continued attack on the those women.
As mothers, we need to stick together. I feel like one of my "responsibilities" as a mom is to help encourage and support fellow mothers. My greatest assets over the last 4 years, from first plus sign to now, has been my mom friends. Those with older children and those who are just starting. Because your whole life changes when you get pregnant. Above and beyond what you could ever dream. And once you see that mooshed up face and hear that first choked cry, you will never be the same. You really will spend the rest of your life with a big chunk of your heart walking around outside your body.
Being a mom is hard! And our partners in the parenthood experience, our husbands, generally don't understand what it truly means to be a mom, not REALLY. So who else can we turn to except other moms? And what will we do when in typical female fashion, we are all catty and snippy and hateful to those other moms? They didn't create healthy sleep patterns in their newborns, and they didn't wait to introduce solids, and they have a family bed, and their kid is a biter, and can you believe she chose to bottle feed that poor baby? Why do women do this to each other? It makes me sad for my daughters. I cherish my mom friends regardless of the different decisions that they made when it came to raising their children. I refuse to think less of them for those choices or to judge them. Though I do admit to occasional mom-envy: for a fellow mom's unbelievably well-mannered two-year-old or an almost-too-perfect marriage. I may not always agree with their parenting decisions, but I figure unless they're doing something to endanger the lives of their kids it's not my business.
If you want to breastfeed your child until they start middle school...whatever. If you answer your child's every whimper...more power to you. Just leave me out of it. I take very good care of my kids without dropping everything to run to their aid every time they make a displeased sound. Their boo-boos get kissed, they get plenty of hugs and snuggles, and I listen to them when they speak to me. But they also have to work through some of their own issues. They squabble some and they cry. They don't get what they want when they whine. (I hate hate hate whining!) I let them make mistakes because that is how they learn. I put them in time out when they mess up. I don't do everything right. I make mistakes. But I'm a good mom. Regardless of how long I breastfed.
I feel like Time did this piece only to receive this sensational response. Not really to raise awareness for a serious issue or promote anything. I don't feel like breastfeeding or attachment parenting is getting any "positive" press for this article. Instead it has drawn a line in the sand. Placing moms on each side with children in the middle.
I find the Time cover to be incredibly offensive.
There. I said it. I'm going to be honest though. I haven't read the story. And probably won't bring myself to. I have read stories and blogs on extended breastfeeding as well as attachment parenting. While I don't personally buy it, I believe that within reasonable limits, parents should be able to make choices regarding how they raise their children. And if they want to breastfeed their five year-old...more power to them. Ick. But whatever.
What I find so incredibly insulting is the accompanying headline, "Are You Mom Enough?".
How dare anyone call out mothers over something so silly and insignificant as how they choose to feed their child. With all the insanity in the world today bottle vs. breast seems to be getting way too much hype. I feel like it is for all the wrong reasons. Call moms out for spending more time with friends than their kids. Or for doing drugs in front of their kids. For texting and driving with their kids. Or for letting their kids watch age-inappropriate television. Whatever. But for using a bottle instead of a breast?!?
I support breast feeding. I have read the research supporting breastfeeding. But what I REALLY support is mothers. Mothers being able to care for their babies in the best way, not just for the baby, but for the whole family. Some women aren't comfortable with breastfeeding. Some women aren't able to breastfeed. And some women darn near kill themselves trying because they have been so guilted into it by some other woman's BS superiority complex. They push themselves so hard and feel worthless and useless because they can't feed their baby the way they have been told by all the "good" books that they should. Or maybe they are only able to feed for the first couple of days or the first couple of months. Maybe the baby has a milk allergy or reflux or a weak tongue or won't latch.
How dare ANYONE make that woman feel like less of a mom!!
I breastfed Evie for almost the first 6 weeks. Before returning to work, I introduced a bottle and when I did, my milk supply pretty much dried right up. Despite my intentions to continue breastfeeding part-time, my body was in an all or nothing sort of mood and chose to not cooperate. And I honestly was relieved. With bottles, other people could feed her. I could sleep. It was so much easier. But I felt pretty good for having tried.
With Elly, I chose to not even attempt breast feeding. Evie wasn't even 18 months old when she became a big sister. She was still a baby herself. And I knew before we even brought Elly home, that it was not going to be feasible for me to take care of my big baby and breastfeed my little baby. I knew I needed all the help I could get and one of the ways I was going to need help was going to be with feeding the little one. And obviously, if I chose to breastfeed, no one else would be able to help with that. Looking back, at times I wish I had tried to breastfeed her, but I know that it would not have worked and it would have left me even more exhausted and overwhelmed than I was.
I refused to feel guilty for not being able to feed Evie longer or for not choosing to breastfeed Elly. But I am not surprised by the number of mothers who do feel guilty and like less of a woman for not being willing or able to breastfeed. I am surprised by the continued attack on the those women.
As mothers, we need to stick together. I feel like one of my "responsibilities" as a mom is to help encourage and support fellow mothers. My greatest assets over the last 4 years, from first plus sign to now, has been my mom friends. Those with older children and those who are just starting. Because your whole life changes when you get pregnant. Above and beyond what you could ever dream. And once you see that mooshed up face and hear that first choked cry, you will never be the same. You really will spend the rest of your life with a big chunk of your heart walking around outside your body.
Being a mom is hard! And our partners in the parenthood experience, our husbands, generally don't understand what it truly means to be a mom, not REALLY. So who else can we turn to except other moms? And what will we do when in typical female fashion, we are all catty and snippy and hateful to those other moms? They didn't create healthy sleep patterns in their newborns, and they didn't wait to introduce solids, and they have a family bed, and their kid is a biter, and can you believe she chose to bottle feed that poor baby? Why do women do this to each other? It makes me sad for my daughters. I cherish my mom friends regardless of the different decisions that they made when it came to raising their children. I refuse to think less of them for those choices or to judge them. Though I do admit to occasional mom-envy: for a fellow mom's unbelievably well-mannered two-year-old or an almost-too-perfect marriage. I may not always agree with their parenting decisions, but I figure unless they're doing something to endanger the lives of their kids it's not my business.
If you want to breastfeed your child until they start middle school...whatever. If you answer your child's every whimper...more power to you. Just leave me out of it. I take very good care of my kids without dropping everything to run to their aid every time they make a displeased sound. Their boo-boos get kissed, they get plenty of hugs and snuggles, and I listen to them when they speak to me. But they also have to work through some of their own issues. They squabble some and they cry. They don't get what they want when they whine. (I hate hate hate whining!) I let them make mistakes because that is how they learn. I put them in time out when they mess up. I don't do everything right. I make mistakes. But I'm a good mom. Regardless of how long I breastfed.
I feel like Time did this piece only to receive this sensational response. Not really to raise awareness for a serious issue or promote anything. I don't feel like breastfeeding or attachment parenting is getting any "positive" press for this article. Instead it has drawn a line in the sand. Placing moms on each side with children in the middle.
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