The Curse of Blogs

I read a blog the other on the curse of being perpetually "busy." I suppose that describes me. I am always busy.

With three kids and a full-time job there just isn't time to not be busy. There is always someone needing something, laundry that needs doing, something that needs cleaning, food that needs fixing, bills that need paying. Really, the list never ends. And I have even slacked up quite a bit on my house work. Laundry goes unfolded. Floors go unmopped. Rooms remain slightly chaotic. Eh. It's not hurting anyone.

But apparently, now I also have to find time to be NOT busy.

Sometimes, I read a blog and I think, what an inspiration! This is what I needed today. I'm so glad I invested two minutes while I ate my cereal or watched tv or used the bathroom (yeah, I know. Kinda ew. But, it's one of the few times I get peace and quiet.) to read this. And sometimes I read something and I have this moment of "Oh my God, I'm doing everything wrong." And then in the next moment I would like to smack the writer.

Yes, there is such thing as being too busy. I have days where I look back and wish I had invested my time differently. Maybe that load of laundry could have waited until after the girls went to bed. Or maybe I should have just left the bathroom mess for tomorrow. Because when I got done folding clothes or scrubbing some kind of purple-green slime off the bathroom counters (Really, how do kids make these messes?), the kids were coloring the couch with their crayons and instead of getting to sit down and color with them, I had to send them to time out and then monitor them cleaning the couch. Or some other disaster had arisen that required my attention and I didn't get to sit and read the book I had planned on.

But there are days where I spend the whole day lounging around with my kids. Reading books and coloring and playing. And yet I still manage to cook three reasonably healthy meals and get everything that HAS to be done done.

In today's society, we have access to so much information. Blogs, articles, lists. Pinterest posts, phone apps are all out there. Thousands of people wanting to tell how you need to live your life and how you're doing it all wrong because it isn't their way. There are hundreds of people ready to tell why crying it out is the best way to sleep train and then another hundred who want to tell you that crying it out is going to ruin your kid FOR LIFE and that co-sleeping is the only correct way to let your baby sleep. Hundreds of people advocating green living and cloth diapers and organic everything. And if you aren't doing it their way, by golly, you are wrong, wrong, wrong. People to tell you that your kids need to be close in age so they have playmates and people to tell you to space them out because each child deserves their own childhood. If you want to feel bad about your life, just get on the internet. I'm sure within 10 minutes you can find a blog that will make you feel like utter crap.

Parenting is tough and it takes a village. But these days, too much of that village comes from the digital world. When our parents were having kids, they had Dr. Spock and a handful of parenting books. Then they went to their parents and their grandparents for advice. While instant access to an entire universe of new ideas can be an incredible asset, it's also a terrible curse for parents today.

I really appreciate the bloggers who simply want to tell me what they do and why. I love information. I love learning new things. When pregnant with Buffy, I did a lot of reading and research and decided that I wanted to sort of co-sleep. I wanted to do baby wearing. I wanted to breastfeed. By the time she was a year old, I wanted to cloth diaper and made a lot of moves to go green in our home. By her second birthday, we also had gone mostly organic, have cut out red meat, minimize our Walmart shopping, etc. Mostly because of online reading and research, including blogs where I read about others' experiences and opinions. That's not to say that these things are the "right" things or the "best" things, but they are what we decided were best for OUR family and OUR situation.

When I could not get my cloth diapers to stop smelling funky, I got on Pinterest and changed how I was washing them. Now, we are problem free. When Evie was younger and the doctors said that she was just really smart (which she is) and I felt like there was something else, I got online and found SPD and realized this was what was wrong. When I got a bread machine for Christmas and had no idea how to use it, I got online and found a ton of information on using it as well as recipes. Now it is my favorite kitchen appliance. For everything from supper ideas to crafts for the kids, I can find it online. It is a great resource!

Sometimes though, I will be skimming Facebook and see a blog link and click it because the title pulls me in. Then a few minutes later, I wish I never had. I've gotten much better and not letting someone else's opinion have a big impact on my life. But I know not everyone has that ability. And I worry about what kind of impact this Negative Nancy mentality is having on those new moms who turn to the internet for some hope and light in what may be a dark and difficult time and instead hear how they are doing everything wrong.

Blogs can be both a blessing and a curse. I hope that my writing isn't the pushing it down your throat, you have to do it my way or you're wrong type that I find so disagreeable. I intend my blog only as a documentation of our choices and a chronicle of our crazy lives. Three babies in four years isn't for everyone, I am the first to say it. But it has been a wonderful choice for us.