I have been in some sort of serious funk for the past few days. I don't know why. Maybe because Sunday was a cruddy day and then I had to come back to work without any sort of break. Maybe I'm just experiencing some sort of hormonal thing. As a female it's pretty easy to blame any and all mood problems on hormones. Maybe I'm just too stressed. I dunno. All I know is I'm just stuck in this funk.
I don't want to read. Write. Talk. Watch TV. Nothing. I sit at work like a lump. I go home, take care of the babies and go to bed. I get up and take care of the babies and then I go to work. Rinse and repeat. I feel just...blah.
And I'm STARVING. I think four months straight of hard dieting might finally be getting to me. Can that happen?
I thought about taking a break from the dieting and just maintaining for a couple of weeks. But honestly, I'm not sure I know how! I've spent the last three years in fluctuating weight situations. I spent 9 months gaining, 9 months losing, 9 months gaining....I have completely forgotten what "normal" is. And I kinda have this overwhelming fear of gaining weight back. I've worked so hard to get down to 135. I think I might have some sort of breakdown if I gain weight back.
I don't feel depressed. I've been depressed before. Spent a few months taking Prozac and then things were better and I quit. That's been years ago, but I remember that feeling of despair and helplessness. I don't feel that now. I just feel blah.
Or maybe it's the fact that I've spent the last four days with $7.87 in the bank. Maybe I'm just overstressed about our financial situation? It's been hard having two kids. Very hard. And so many of my reassurances when I found out we were having a second baby were based on Josh getting a job in law enforcement when he got out of BLET, nearly doubling his paychecks. But it's been 6 months since he graduated and there is still no job. And I'm so fed up with trying to motivate him to try to get a job. I've considered getting a second job myself, since apparently it's going to fall to me to do SOMETHING. But then I would never see my kids. And that doesn't seem like much of a solution. They already spend most of their time with my mom. If I get another job then they'll be spending all of their time with my mom. But I don't know what else to do. We keep having to dip into savings the last couple of months. We've had lawn mowers break, multiple times. We've had the AC go out. My car needed new tires and the tags renewed. And now Josh's car needs new tires. So our savings account is empty. And as the girls get bigger it seems like everything keeps getting more expensive, whereas our paychecks are the same. So yeah, it's definitely been weighing heavily on my mind.
Maybe I just need a real vacation. I've not technically had a real, stay in a motel vacation since I was in high school. So I'm definitely overdue. But I've had time off recently. We went to the zoo. We went to Tweetsie. It's been a fun summer.
I just really don't know what my malfunction is. Maybe I need to rearrange some furniture. Or take a long bubble bath. Maybe if I make it to the weekend then a couple of days off will reset this. Who knows.
Either way, I'm very sorry for neglecting my blog so much lately. I just need a break from everything to kind of reset. Maybe after payday tomorrow I will be inspired. Maybe knowing all my bills are paid for another month, seeing my pantry stocked and the changing table full of diapers and pull-ups, even though there will be no money left, will ease the stress and things will be happy-go-lucky
Who knows.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Da Poddy
Yesterday morning I awoke to the sound of Evie's bright little voice.
"Momma. Poddy. Momma. Momma. Poddy. Poddy. Momma. Poddy."
Now usually Evie sleeps in her bed. It's a little toddler bed, easy for her to get in and out of. She typically sleeps til around 7:30 a.m. and when she wakes up I go ahead and get up with her. Some mornings she wakes up earlier, before either of us should be awake, and I put Evie in her pack and play and we both sleep 30 more minutes. I think I will have to quit on her second birthday because I just feel like she's getting awfully old to put in a play pen. But who knows.
Anyways, usually when I put her in her play pen she just lays down and goes back to sleep. But some mornings she's persistent and yells and talks for a while so I end up getting back up and starting my day. Yesterday, was one of those mornings. I put her in her play pen and go back to bed. As soon as my head hits the pillow, she yells out, "Momma."
I open my eyes. I wait.
"Momma. Poddy."
*gasp*
This I think was the turning point in our potty training.
Last week, Evie was very hit and miss. Some days it seemed like she sort of "got" potty training. Others, I might as well have been asking her to develop complex theories in chemical physics and write graduate level dissertations on Thoreau. It was incredibly frustrating. And most of all, it was not at all what I was expecting.
When we started potty training, I knew it wouldn't be an overnight thing. But not until I started really asking friends for the nitty gritty details did I discover that this was something I'd be working on for probably the next year. At least.
YEAR?!? A whole freaking YEAR?!? My gosh...and no, it won't be a year of dragging a two-year-old to the potty every 10-30 minutes and singing the potty song and coaxing and encouraging and bribing and BEGGING her to go potty. But for probably a year we will be dealing with taking her to the potty when she needs to go, cleaning up accidents when she forgets to go, praising her for remembering to go. Lord help me, I might be potty training number 2 before the first one is able to sleep through the night without an accident. But everyone keeps telling me that girls are easier. I hope Elly is taking notes on everything Big Sister is doing...that would certainly make life easier.
The last two days however, have been more like what I envisioned of potty training. Instead of the frustrating waiting and coaxing while still ending up with a wet pull-up, we have success. I put Evie on the potty, she sits contentedly for a bit and then she pees. Then she jumps up screaming "Did-dit! Did-dit! Poddy! Poddy!" It's adorable. Then we flush it (She always says bye), rinse the potty cup, and go get her treat. When she wants a snickers, she points at the jar and tries her best to say it. It usually comes out "Snirss" and if she wants a gummy bear she points at their bag on top of the fridge and growls like a bear. Treat in hand, we replace her Pull-Ups and she returns to whatever she was doing. We have been practically accident free for two days.
WOOHOO!!
Today, she even peed in a public potty, I think. She says she did. And she may well have. I was too busy laughing with her at the hilarity of trying to keep her teensy butt from falling into a toilet. She thought it was a riot.
And I know that it's not all downhill from here. We may have days again where she doesn't want to potty. Ones where she has lots of accidents. But we'll keep going. I have seen the light at the end of the tunnel!
"Momma. Poddy. Momma. Momma. Poddy. Poddy. Momma. Poddy."
Now usually Evie sleeps in her bed. It's a little toddler bed, easy for her to get in and out of. She typically sleeps til around 7:30 a.m. and when she wakes up I go ahead and get up with her. Some mornings she wakes up earlier, before either of us should be awake, and I put Evie in her pack and play and we both sleep 30 more minutes. I think I will have to quit on her second birthday because I just feel like she's getting awfully old to put in a play pen. But who knows.
Anyways, usually when I put her in her play pen she just lays down and goes back to sleep. But some mornings she's persistent and yells and talks for a while so I end up getting back up and starting my day. Yesterday, was one of those mornings. I put her in her play pen and go back to bed. As soon as my head hits the pillow, she yells out, "Momma."
I open my eyes. I wait.
"Momma. Poddy."
*gasp*
This I think was the turning point in our potty training.
Last week, Evie was very hit and miss. Some days it seemed like she sort of "got" potty training. Others, I might as well have been asking her to develop complex theories in chemical physics and write graduate level dissertations on Thoreau. It was incredibly frustrating. And most of all, it was not at all what I was expecting.
When we started potty training, I knew it wouldn't be an overnight thing. But not until I started really asking friends for the nitty gritty details did I discover that this was something I'd be working on for probably the next year. At least.
YEAR?!? A whole freaking YEAR?!? My gosh...and no, it won't be a year of dragging a two-year-old to the potty every 10-30 minutes and singing the potty song and coaxing and encouraging and bribing and BEGGING her to go potty. But for probably a year we will be dealing with taking her to the potty when she needs to go, cleaning up accidents when she forgets to go, praising her for remembering to go. Lord help me, I might be potty training number 2 before the first one is able to sleep through the night without an accident. But everyone keeps telling me that girls are easier. I hope Elly is taking notes on everything Big Sister is doing...that would certainly make life easier.
The last two days however, have been more like what I envisioned of potty training. Instead of the frustrating waiting and coaxing while still ending up with a wet pull-up, we have success. I put Evie on the potty, she sits contentedly for a bit and then she pees. Then she jumps up screaming "Did-dit! Did-dit! Poddy! Poddy!" It's adorable. Then we flush it (She always says bye), rinse the potty cup, and go get her treat. When she wants a snickers, she points at the jar and tries her best to say it. It usually comes out "Snirss" and if she wants a gummy bear she points at their bag on top of the fridge and growls like a bear. Treat in hand, we replace her Pull-Ups and she returns to whatever she was doing. We have been practically accident free for two days.
WOOHOO!!
Today, she even peed in a public potty, I think. She says she did. And she may well have. I was too busy laughing with her at the hilarity of trying to keep her teensy butt from falling into a toilet. She thought it was a riot.
And I know that it's not all downhill from here. We may have days again where she doesn't want to potty. Ones where she has lots of accidents. But we'll keep going. I have seen the light at the end of the tunnel!
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Our Scarlet Letters
I can remember the first time I found a stretch mark on my hip. I honestly cannot remember when it was, I think I was in my late teens. I'm not sure. But I remember the horror I felt. The gasp and the shock. Of course it was little and I don't remember ever seeing that particular stretch mark again. Now I'm pretty sure it'd be covered up by the 3 dozen others anyways.
Stretch marks were honestly one of my biggest fears going into pregnancy. I have never scarred easily. In fact I hardly have any scars. One where I was bitten by a brown recluse on my leg and one where I almost cut my toe off on a nail. And a chicken pox scar on my forehead. Otherwise I've just got a lot of freckles. But I have seen women at the pool with these angry red stretch marks up their sides and across their tummies and was horrified at the notion that my tummy would look like that. So when I found out I was pregnant I scoured the internet for some guaranteed way to prevent them. Of course, there isn't one. Lots of empty promises and paid advertisements. But nothing guaranteed. So I went with cocoa butter and crossed my fingers.
I think I was about 8 months along when nearly overnight I developed a dozen stretch marks. I really appreciated it when my OB pointed out the stretch marks at my next check-up. If looks could kill that man would probably be six feet under right now. After I had Evie it seemed like my stretch marks multiplied. My deflated beach ball belly was covered in a crisscrossing of angry red, pale white and light brown stretch marks from hip to hip. I was disgusted. I looked in the mirror at my body and felt nothing but despair. The vibrant beauty which I saw when my body was a vessel for a new life was gone. In its place was exhaustion, saggy skin, and a lot of extra weight, which evidently does NOT disappear overnight.
Stretch marks to me were like a scarlet letter. A badge of shame. Marks of embarrassment and time misspent. I wanted them all to just disappear...ASAP. I hated them. I was careful to make sure and wear shirts that had no chance of accidentally riding up a little. I was absolutely mortified at the idea of anyone seeing them. I didn't even want my husband to see them. I would carefully avoid looking at my stomach when I changed or showered. I absolutely hated the way they looked.
I am now four months post baby #2 and my perspective is dramatically different on the whole stretch mark thing. For one, most of my stretch marks have faded. I probably have half a dozen on my hips and a few across my stomach. Not too bad. Maybe in another year or so the rest of my stomach won't be quite so...icky. But maybe it will. Whatever. I did have two babies in two years. 18 months pregnant with about 8 months off...that can be pretty hard on ya. But come what may. Because honestly, I will be okay.
You know why I'll be okay?
My stretch marks aren't badges of shame. My body did a wonderful, incredible thing...TWICE. It grew life. Beautiful, miraculous life. And I know it sounds kinda hokey but I'm proud of the little people I created. They are beautiful little girls. And it's amazing to think about what all happens during pregnancy. How two microscopic cells grew into these little people. With likes and dislikes, personalities and temperaments, my husband's eyes and my curly hair. Anyone who doesn't believe in God must never have spent time around children. But I'm pretty happy with those little people. So I don't really feel like the stretch marks are something I should be ashamed of. So many women are so ashamed of their bodies. For some reason the entire female population needs to be a size 0 with flawless skin, a flat tummy and a cute little butt. But we don't! It's a ridiculous aspiration.
And for those who are dealing with those icky stretch marks and a less than perfect tummy, I say be thankful. There are so many women who aren't lucky enough to get pregnant. Or who may have been able to get pregnant but weren't able to carry their baby to term. Those dimpled marks and streaks are proof of the 9 months I dedicated my body to another person, to another life. Proof of one of the smallest of sacrifices I could make for my children. In the grand scheme of things, I think any good mother would give up far more than her pre-baby body for her children. I'm not saying a good mother doesn't still regularly MISS that pre-baby body. I wouldn't complain about having both my babies and my body. But if it comes down to choosing, I am definitely choosing the babies. I will take stretch marks and then some, whatever I have to. Because those kids mean far more to me than anything else.
Stretch marks were honestly one of my biggest fears going into pregnancy. I have never scarred easily. In fact I hardly have any scars. One where I was bitten by a brown recluse on my leg and one where I almost cut my toe off on a nail. And a chicken pox scar on my forehead. Otherwise I've just got a lot of freckles. But I have seen women at the pool with these angry red stretch marks up their sides and across their tummies and was horrified at the notion that my tummy would look like that. So when I found out I was pregnant I scoured the internet for some guaranteed way to prevent them. Of course, there isn't one. Lots of empty promises and paid advertisements. But nothing guaranteed. So I went with cocoa butter and crossed my fingers.
I think I was about 8 months along when nearly overnight I developed a dozen stretch marks. I really appreciated it when my OB pointed out the stretch marks at my next check-up. If looks could kill that man would probably be six feet under right now. After I had Evie it seemed like my stretch marks multiplied. My deflated beach ball belly was covered in a crisscrossing of angry red, pale white and light brown stretch marks from hip to hip. I was disgusted. I looked in the mirror at my body and felt nothing but despair. The vibrant beauty which I saw when my body was a vessel for a new life was gone. In its place was exhaustion, saggy skin, and a lot of extra weight, which evidently does NOT disappear overnight.
Stretch marks to me were like a scarlet letter. A badge of shame. Marks of embarrassment and time misspent. I wanted them all to just disappear...ASAP. I hated them. I was careful to make sure and wear shirts that had no chance of accidentally riding up a little. I was absolutely mortified at the idea of anyone seeing them. I didn't even want my husband to see them. I would carefully avoid looking at my stomach when I changed or showered. I absolutely hated the way they looked.
I am now four months post baby #2 and my perspective is dramatically different on the whole stretch mark thing. For one, most of my stretch marks have faded. I probably have half a dozen on my hips and a few across my stomach. Not too bad. Maybe in another year or so the rest of my stomach won't be quite so...icky. But maybe it will. Whatever. I did have two babies in two years. 18 months pregnant with about 8 months off...that can be pretty hard on ya. But come what may. Because honestly, I will be okay.
You know why I'll be okay?
My stretch marks aren't badges of shame. My body did a wonderful, incredible thing...TWICE. It grew life. Beautiful, miraculous life. And I know it sounds kinda hokey but I'm proud of the little people I created. They are beautiful little girls. And it's amazing to think about what all happens during pregnancy. How two microscopic cells grew into these little people. With likes and dislikes, personalities and temperaments, my husband's eyes and my curly hair. Anyone who doesn't believe in God must never have spent time around children. But I'm pretty happy with those little people. So I don't really feel like the stretch marks are something I should be ashamed of. So many women are so ashamed of their bodies. For some reason the entire female population needs to be a size 0 with flawless skin, a flat tummy and a cute little butt. But we don't! It's a ridiculous aspiration.
And for those who are dealing with those icky stretch marks and a less than perfect tummy, I say be thankful. There are so many women who aren't lucky enough to get pregnant. Or who may have been able to get pregnant but weren't able to carry their baby to term. Those dimpled marks and streaks are proof of the 9 months I dedicated my body to another person, to another life. Proof of one of the smallest of sacrifices I could make for my children. In the grand scheme of things, I think any good mother would give up far more than her pre-baby body for her children. I'm not saying a good mother doesn't still regularly MISS that pre-baby body. I wouldn't complain about having both my babies and my body. But if it comes down to choosing, I am definitely choosing the babies. I will take stretch marks and then some, whatever I have to. Because those kids mean far more to me than anything else.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Happy Father's Day
This Sunday is Father's Day. Somehow it has totally sneaked up on me. Sneaked. For some reason that sounds super awkward. Sneaked. Snuck. Whatever. Either way, it's here and it's kind of a surprise. Thank goodness I ordered Josh's present about 6 weeks ago. Sometime around Mother's Day. Being a gamer geek type, he's pretty easy to shop for. So, at least I have a present. But I have made no plans for "celebrating" which makes me feel like a total slacker.
So what to do?
Decisions. Decisions. Decisions.
What are you doing to celebrate Father's Day?
Our typical route is a cook out. I guess this year we can throw in some pool time as well. Have some family over. Something like that. Just because it's what we always do doesn't make it any less enjoyable. I absolutely LOVE cooking out. Semi-blackened hotdogs with chili, coleslaw, ketchup and mustard are one of life's great pleasures. Or I think so at least. So I'm all for a cook out.
Most importantly I will make sure it's a nice, relaxing and enjoyable family sort of day for Josh. I won't hold it against him that Mother's Day was a total bummer. I will probably let him sleep in, make him breakfast, get him a cute card, dote on him, let him relax. You know, all the upsides to Father's Day.
Another side to planning this weekend: Josh is actually off Saturday and Sunday. First time in a while that we will have two whole days off together. So we need to maximize it without stressing ourselves out. It's a difficult balance to achieve. If you have a spouse with a set work schedule you probably don't understand how wonderful it is to actually have time off together. I always work Monday through Friday. Josh typically gets two days off a week but they could be any day. And since he frequently works second shift, even if he gets a day off he can't get up early because he didn't get home the night before until 2 a.m. and he's one of those people that needs 8 hours of sleep to be tolerable. And he's REALLY not a morning person. It is quite delicious to have two days in a row together as a family. We get to eat meals together, team up on house work and share responsibilities with the kids. Since I'm used to doing most of it by myself, I really enjoy having some help. And since Josh is used to not getting to spend a lot of time with the girls, he loves getting to actually SEE them. Plus, they adore their Daddy. Especially Evie. She is SUCH a Daddy's girl. I've still got my fingers crossed that Elly will prefer me. But she's got a serious soft spot for Dada as well. Dang it.
I'm sure it will be fabulous, whatever we do.
One thing is definite though - there won't be any Father's Day surprise like last year. Only once will Josh be receiving a positive pregnancy test from his wife for Father's Day. I love my two. But I'm not ready for three under three. Heck. No.
Happy Father's Day everyone!
So what to do?
Decisions. Decisions. Decisions.
What are you doing to celebrate Father's Day?
Our typical route is a cook out. I guess this year we can throw in some pool time as well. Have some family over. Something like that. Just because it's what we always do doesn't make it any less enjoyable. I absolutely LOVE cooking out. Semi-blackened hotdogs with chili, coleslaw, ketchup and mustard are one of life's great pleasures. Or I think so at least. So I'm all for a cook out.
Most importantly I will make sure it's a nice, relaxing and enjoyable family sort of day for Josh. I won't hold it against him that Mother's Day was a total bummer. I will probably let him sleep in, make him breakfast, get him a cute card, dote on him, let him relax. You know, all the upsides to Father's Day.
Another side to planning this weekend: Josh is actually off Saturday and Sunday. First time in a while that we will have two whole days off together. So we need to maximize it without stressing ourselves out. It's a difficult balance to achieve. If you have a spouse with a set work schedule you probably don't understand how wonderful it is to actually have time off together. I always work Monday through Friday. Josh typically gets two days off a week but they could be any day. And since he frequently works second shift, even if he gets a day off he can't get up early because he didn't get home the night before until 2 a.m. and he's one of those people that needs 8 hours of sleep to be tolerable. And he's REALLY not a morning person. It is quite delicious to have two days in a row together as a family. We get to eat meals together, team up on house work and share responsibilities with the kids. Since I'm used to doing most of it by myself, I really enjoy having some help. And since Josh is used to not getting to spend a lot of time with the girls, he loves getting to actually SEE them. Plus, they adore their Daddy. Especially Evie. She is SUCH a Daddy's girl. I've still got my fingers crossed that Elly will prefer me. But she's got a serious soft spot for Dada as well. Dang it.
I'm sure it will be fabulous, whatever we do.
One thing is definite though - there won't be any Father's Day surprise like last year. Only once will Josh be receiving a positive pregnancy test from his wife for Father's Day. I love my two. But I'm not ready for three under three. Heck. No.
Happy Father's Day everyone!
The Gifts
I read this really good blog this week (in one of my few unbusy moments when I wasn't sitting in the floor waiting on an almost two year to PLEASE PLEASE just pee in the freaking potty) about how much the perspective has changed towards children over the last couple of generations.
The original blog can be found here on the baby bunching site I frequent. It wasn't terribly long or detailed or anything and it wasn't poignantly written (I tend to be more impacted by lengthy, well-written bits than short and sweet. Go figure.) but it struck SUCH a chord with me. It really impacted my outlook on this whole two under two situation.
Once upon a time, you know, a few decades ago, families tended to have lots and lots of children. For one, the pill had not yet come into existence. For another, many children did not survive. You had to reproduce a lot just to have a couple make it into adulthood. And of course there was the farm to consider. You needed to have a lot of kids because there was work to be done and Mom and Dad weren't able to do it all themselves. If you had several boys to work the farm and several girls to help keep the house, well, you were set. Now we look at people who have more than two or three kids like there's something wrong with them. I admit I've done it several times to my neighbors because I think they're approaching double digits with their brood. Of course I tend to give them dirty looks because the only time I actually see the parents interacting with the kids is when they're all getting in the van to go to school. Most of the time the kids are outside playing, the oldest ones taking care of the youngest, and the parents are inside. But that's the kind of family they've chosen.
Back then, children were an asset. Something that by having, gave you more. Like a home, they started off valuable and became more valuable as time went on. They had a tangible value because they were free labor and one day you knew they'd take care of you. Now children are more seen as an investment. You invest time and money getting them into all the best activities and programs so that they can get into the best schools so that they can become functional adults. And just like stock investments, it's stressful. Sometimes the investment pays off and you have a happy functional grown child who moves out and gets a job and buys a home and gets married and gives you fat-cheeked, gummy-grinning grandbabies to love on. But sometimes the investment doesn't pay off. The market takes a turn and for reasons beyond your comprehension and control the investment bottoms out. It's jobless or homeless or lazy or a criminal. Gets addicted to dope or drink. All in all, it just doesn't go how you saw it going.
But you tried! You did everything you thought you should. You invested and you did like all the other parents but for whatever reason, your kid doesn't turn out the way it should. It's worrisome and stressful and aggravating to think of children this way.
And that's kind of how I've been thinking of my two. As an investment that I need to dedicate all my time and energy into making them perfect so they can (hopefully) grow into functional adults. It's so frustrating! I worry so much...am I spending too much time with one? too little time? are we doing enough "educational" for them? do we spend enough time reading to them? talking to them? are they watching too much tv? listening to too much angry music? should we try and home school them? should we try to get them into daycare? do I need to make more "mommy" friends so they can have more friends?
Honestly, it's ridiculous. And according to the blogger that I was reading, it's how so many parents think and worry. (Which does make me feel better!) Instead of seeing our kids as assets or investments though, we need to see them for what they really are -- gifts!
It's so true. It's not that I see my children as a burden. Or don't appreciate them. But instead of worrying about...well, EVERYTHING...I need to just savor each and every moment with them. Sounds a lot easier! And you know what, I've tried looking at it that way the last couple of days and it's been much less worrisome. I found myself last night worrying about the fact that Elly hadn't reached some milestones in the 4-6 month range yet (yeah, I know she's just now 4 months) and just made myself stop. Instead of worrying about it I spent 10 minutes blowing raspberries back and forth and watching her and Evie squealing at each other. It was adorable! And way more fun than stressing about whether or not Elly will hold weight on her legs yet.
Worrying less about how much I'm investing into them certainly makes life with my little bunch seem easier. Even crying, spitting up, throwing a tantrum or whatever, children are sweet precious gifts. I am so thankful for them everyday. Now I am making it a point to spend less time worrying and spend more time savoring these darling children.
The original blog can be found here on the baby bunching site I frequent. It wasn't terribly long or detailed or anything and it wasn't poignantly written (I tend to be more impacted by lengthy, well-written bits than short and sweet. Go figure.) but it struck SUCH a chord with me. It really impacted my outlook on this whole two under two situation.
Once upon a time, you know, a few decades ago, families tended to have lots and lots of children. For one, the pill had not yet come into existence. For another, many children did not survive. You had to reproduce a lot just to have a couple make it into adulthood. And of course there was the farm to consider. You needed to have a lot of kids because there was work to be done and Mom and Dad weren't able to do it all themselves. If you had several boys to work the farm and several girls to help keep the house, well, you were set. Now we look at people who have more than two or three kids like there's something wrong with them. I admit I've done it several times to my neighbors because I think they're approaching double digits with their brood. Of course I tend to give them dirty looks because the only time I actually see the parents interacting with the kids is when they're all getting in the van to go to school. Most of the time the kids are outside playing, the oldest ones taking care of the youngest, and the parents are inside. But that's the kind of family they've chosen.
Back then, children were an asset. Something that by having, gave you more. Like a home, they started off valuable and became more valuable as time went on. They had a tangible value because they were free labor and one day you knew they'd take care of you. Now children are more seen as an investment. You invest time and money getting them into all the best activities and programs so that they can get into the best schools so that they can become functional adults. And just like stock investments, it's stressful. Sometimes the investment pays off and you have a happy functional grown child who moves out and gets a job and buys a home and gets married and gives you fat-cheeked, gummy-grinning grandbabies to love on. But sometimes the investment doesn't pay off. The market takes a turn and for reasons beyond your comprehension and control the investment bottoms out. It's jobless or homeless or lazy or a criminal. Gets addicted to dope or drink. All in all, it just doesn't go how you saw it going.
But you tried! You did everything you thought you should. You invested and you did like all the other parents but for whatever reason, your kid doesn't turn out the way it should. It's worrisome and stressful and aggravating to think of children this way.
And that's kind of how I've been thinking of my two. As an investment that I need to dedicate all my time and energy into making them perfect so they can (hopefully) grow into functional adults. It's so frustrating! I worry so much...am I spending too much time with one? too little time? are we doing enough "educational" for them? do we spend enough time reading to them? talking to them? are they watching too much tv? listening to too much angry music? should we try and home school them? should we try to get them into daycare? do I need to make more "mommy" friends so they can have more friends?
Honestly, it's ridiculous. And according to the blogger that I was reading, it's how so many parents think and worry. (Which does make me feel better!) Instead of seeing our kids as assets or investments though, we need to see them for what they really are -- gifts!
It's so true. It's not that I see my children as a burden. Or don't appreciate them. But instead of worrying about...well, EVERYTHING...I need to just savor each and every moment with them. Sounds a lot easier! And you know what, I've tried looking at it that way the last couple of days and it's been much less worrisome. I found myself last night worrying about the fact that Elly hadn't reached some milestones in the 4-6 month range yet (yeah, I know she's just now 4 months) and just made myself stop. Instead of worrying about it I spent 10 minutes blowing raspberries back and forth and watching her and Evie squealing at each other. It was adorable! And way more fun than stressing about whether or not Elly will hold weight on her legs yet.
Worrying less about how much I'm investing into them certainly makes life with my little bunch seem easier. Even crying, spitting up, throwing a tantrum or whatever, children are sweet precious gifts. I am so thankful for them everyday. Now I am making it a point to spend less time worrying and spend more time savoring these darling children.
Exhaustion
This week has been unbelievably exhausting.
Potty training has dramatically improved. But it is still the most frustrating thing I have ever done. Evie is now averaging far more successes than accidents. Accidents mainly occur during naps, car rides and of course overnight. I know it's going to take a lot more work before she's actually potty trained, but I'm so excited that we're making progress.
To make life more exhausting, the way schedules have worked out this week, I haven't seen my dear husband since Sunday really. Last night was our first time actually sitting down together all week. Soloing two little people all the time plus a full-time job is a lot of work! So the little down time I've had has been spent trying to catch my breath and get caught up on chores, not leaving a lot of time for blogging.
But I have had some good blog ideas and I hope to have the time to write on some of them soon. Thanks for hanging in there and continuing to be a reader! I appreciate you stopping by.
Potty training has dramatically improved. But it is still the most frustrating thing I have ever done. Evie is now averaging far more successes than accidents. Accidents mainly occur during naps, car rides and of course overnight. I know it's going to take a lot more work before she's actually potty trained, but I'm so excited that we're making progress.
To make life more exhausting, the way schedules have worked out this week, I haven't seen my dear husband since Sunday really. Last night was our first time actually sitting down together all week. Soloing two little people all the time plus a full-time job is a lot of work! So the little down time I've had has been spent trying to catch my breath and get caught up on chores, not leaving a lot of time for blogging.
But I have had some good blog ideas and I hope to have the time to write on some of them soon. Thanks for hanging in there and continuing to be a reader! I appreciate you stopping by.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Potty Training
Well, it has begun.
Potty training.
And it is HORRIBLE.
Oh my gosh.
So, this weekend, Evie comes into the bathroom and insists on using the potty. I didn't ask her. I wasn't planning on starting it. She just strolls into the bathroom, points at the toilet and says "potty." Then she starts trying to pull down her pants. So I help her with her pants and diaper, put her little potty seat on the toilet and sit her down. She wants to sit there for about 30 minutes. Which is fine. This is her show after all. And finally! She poops and pees. Honestly, I think my jaw hit the floor. It took me a minute to even clap and cheer I was so shocked! So we get off, inspect her work. Cheer again. She flushes. Gets a snickers and then sits in the living room in her pull-ups, watching an episode of Dora on the iPad while she eats her treat.
I then commenced calling everyone.
So she ended up going potty successfully 3 times on Sunday. Three times! I was so excited! I was actually kind of bummed that it was bed time.
On Monday, we got up early because Sissy had her four month check-up at 8:30 a.m. Evie spent about half an hour sitting on the potty. She didn't want to leave the potty but unfortunately we had to go. So we met Ma and I passed off Evie and took Elly on to the doctor.
Long story short, I had to leave Evie at my mom's for the night because the shots made Elly feverish and sick. Elly got lots of snuggle time and I was hoping the one-baby situation at my mom's would make potty training more successful. I was wrong. Evie has gone two days without a single success. All we have to show is a lot of time spent watching her sit on the toilet, a lot of wet training pants and many more soaked pull-ups.
This is so frustrating! And no one has anything encouraging for me. So I feel so lost and aggravated. The only thing I can think of is Evie "gets" potty training at home but doesn't "get" it anywhere else yet. But I don't really know if that's true or not. And right now I have only 2 days a week that I can really focus on potty training and that doesn't seem consistent enough to really accomplish anything.
So any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated.
This sucks.
Potty training.
And it is HORRIBLE.
Oh my gosh.
So, this weekend, Evie comes into the bathroom and insists on using the potty. I didn't ask her. I wasn't planning on starting it. She just strolls into the bathroom, points at the toilet and says "potty." Then she starts trying to pull down her pants. So I help her with her pants and diaper, put her little potty seat on the toilet and sit her down. She wants to sit there for about 30 minutes. Which is fine. This is her show after all. And finally! She poops and pees. Honestly, I think my jaw hit the floor. It took me a minute to even clap and cheer I was so shocked! So we get off, inspect her work. Cheer again. She flushes. Gets a snickers and then sits in the living room in her pull-ups, watching an episode of Dora on the iPad while she eats her treat.
I then commenced calling everyone.
So she ended up going potty successfully 3 times on Sunday. Three times! I was so excited! I was actually kind of bummed that it was bed time.
On Monday, we got up early because Sissy had her four month check-up at 8:30 a.m. Evie spent about half an hour sitting on the potty. She didn't want to leave the potty but unfortunately we had to go. So we met Ma and I passed off Evie and took Elly on to the doctor.
Long story short, I had to leave Evie at my mom's for the night because the shots made Elly feverish and sick. Elly got lots of snuggle time and I was hoping the one-baby situation at my mom's would make potty training more successful. I was wrong. Evie has gone two days without a single success. All we have to show is a lot of time spent watching her sit on the toilet, a lot of wet training pants and many more soaked pull-ups.
This is so frustrating! And no one has anything encouraging for me. So I feel so lost and aggravated. The only thing I can think of is Evie "gets" potty training at home but doesn't "get" it anywhere else yet. But I don't really know if that's true or not. And right now I have only 2 days a week that I can really focus on potty training and that doesn't seem consistent enough to really accomplish anything.
So any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated.
This sucks.
Friday, June 10, 2011
Summer
I don't know what it is, if it's the summer time or just because my children are older or what but I'm tired. Maybe both.
I have always planned on being one of those parents that was active with my kids. I don't want them to remember their childhood as days spent laying on the couch watching TV or playing by themselves because their parents don't have time or whatever. I want to do THINGS. Whatever they may be. Board games, puzzles, movie night for when the weather is blah. But when the weather is nice I want us to be outside. I want to go to the park, the library, the zoo, local historical farms, local tourist spots, the playhouse, the pool, ANYWHERE. I want them to see as much of the world as I can show them. I don't think you have to travel all over the country and spend a small fortune on family vacations to get your kids an adventure. Kids can learn so much just from taking a walk down Main Street or going to the park or the library. You just have to take the time to teach them. Talk to them. Explain the world to them. That's what I want to do.
But anyways, our family adventures have left me exhausted and with absolutely no time for blogging. And I'm sorry. On top of that, work has been INSANE so that just adds to the exhaustion.
This is my eldest baby...swimming.
She actually swims. All by herself. It is amazing and wonderful and somehow really sad. The more she can do by herself the less she needs her Momma for. *sniffle* But it is so adorable!
She's such a good little swimmer!
And such a sweet big sister she has become! Watching them interact as Elly gets bigger is amazing. They have been siblings since Elly was born but they are really becoming sisters.
Look at her helping lil Sissy out! So sweet!
The zoo trip was a HUGE success. Elly was briefly happy, briefly fussy, then asleep for a few hours. Our biggest challenge was keeping Evie in the stroller. We would let her get out and walk until she started wandering off then we'd have to wrestle her back in the stroller. And of course we had to tackle the issue of Evie not really "getting" the whole zoo concept at first. We got into the zoo and we were in the little square with restaurants and gift shops and exhibits. And Evie loved it. But we wanted to go see the animals and she thought that meant we were leaving and threw a hellacious tantrum. Until we saw the giraffes. Then she was happy and excited and totally infatuated. But then we wanted to go see the lions. And she threw a hellacious tantrum. Which continued until we got to the chimpanzee exhibit about 10 minutes later with brief pauses when we saw the lemurs, looked for the wild pigs, listened to the lions roaring, etc. But the chimpanzee was right there at the glass.
It was so neat! Of course she threw another tantrum when we left the chimps. But soon after she began to understand the whole concept of leaving one animal to see another.
Then she relaxed and enjoyed the ride.
Her favorite was probably the polar bear. He was awesome, but aren't the polar bears always awesome? He wrestled a trash can lid, splashed in the water, yawned, swam. He was great. She threw another fit when it was time to leave his enclosure because we were all starving.
She enjoyed lunch. Though the price was ridiculous. And next time we will NOT be eating in the park. Lessons learned. Paying $3 for a bottle of water and $5 for a PB&J is ridiculous.
But still, it was a good trip. Considering its pretty much our family vacation this year we got off pretty cheap. We all had a good time. Got plenty of exercise and Evie and Elly took great naps. They both really love the souvenirs they acquired. So that's pretty much been my week.
By the way, this baby is 4 months old now. Holy. Crap. Blowing my mind how fast it goes with the second one. Hope everyone has a great weekend!
I have always planned on being one of those parents that was active with my kids. I don't want them to remember their childhood as days spent laying on the couch watching TV or playing by themselves because their parents don't have time or whatever. I want to do THINGS. Whatever they may be. Board games, puzzles, movie night for when the weather is blah. But when the weather is nice I want us to be outside. I want to go to the park, the library, the zoo, local historical farms, local tourist spots, the playhouse, the pool, ANYWHERE. I want them to see as much of the world as I can show them. I don't think you have to travel all over the country and spend a small fortune on family vacations to get your kids an adventure. Kids can learn so much just from taking a walk down Main Street or going to the park or the library. You just have to take the time to teach them. Talk to them. Explain the world to them. That's what I want to do.
But anyways, our family adventures have left me exhausted and with absolutely no time for blogging. And I'm sorry. On top of that, work has been INSANE so that just adds to the exhaustion.
This is my eldest baby...swimming.
She actually swims. All by herself. It is amazing and wonderful and somehow really sad. The more she can do by herself the less she needs her Momma for. *sniffle* But it is so adorable!
She's such a good little swimmer!
And such a sweet big sister she has become! Watching them interact as Elly gets bigger is amazing. They have been siblings since Elly was born but they are really becoming sisters.
Look at her helping lil Sissy out! So sweet!
The zoo trip was a HUGE success. Elly was briefly happy, briefly fussy, then asleep for a few hours. Our biggest challenge was keeping Evie in the stroller. We would let her get out and walk until she started wandering off then we'd have to wrestle her back in the stroller. And of course we had to tackle the issue of Evie not really "getting" the whole zoo concept at first. We got into the zoo and we were in the little square with restaurants and gift shops and exhibits. And Evie loved it. But we wanted to go see the animals and she thought that meant we were leaving and threw a hellacious tantrum. Until we saw the giraffes. Then she was happy and excited and totally infatuated. But then we wanted to go see the lions. And she threw a hellacious tantrum. Which continued until we got to the chimpanzee exhibit about 10 minutes later with brief pauses when we saw the lemurs, looked for the wild pigs, listened to the lions roaring, etc. But the chimpanzee was right there at the glass.
It was so neat! Of course she threw another tantrum when we left the chimps. But soon after she began to understand the whole concept of leaving one animal to see another.
Then she relaxed and enjoyed the ride.
Her favorite was probably the polar bear. He was awesome, but aren't the polar bears always awesome? He wrestled a trash can lid, splashed in the water, yawned, swam. He was great. She threw another fit when it was time to leave his enclosure because we were all starving.
She enjoyed lunch. Though the price was ridiculous. And next time we will NOT be eating in the park. Lessons learned. Paying $3 for a bottle of water and $5 for a PB&J is ridiculous.
But still, it was a good trip. Considering its pretty much our family vacation this year we got off pretty cheap. We all had a good time. Got plenty of exercise and Evie and Elly took great naps. They both really love the souvenirs they acquired. So that's pretty much been my week.
By the way, this baby is 4 months old now. Holy. Crap. Blowing my mind how fast it goes with the second one. Hope everyone has a great weekend!
The Featherless Duck
When Evie gave up her pacifier we went and bought her a stuffed animal, hoping to replace the paci attachment with something a little less babyish. That day we bought a stuffed dog, one who Evie named Leash and who has since been played with rather haphazardly. Instead Evie has fallen in love with Duck. Yes. Duck.
This is Duck. The infamous Duck these days. Because Evie cannot go anywhere without this blue-furred creature. And this Duck is not to be confused with the chicken named Duck. They are in no way related. And Evie gets aggravated if you get confused.
I spend a lot of time with this duck because this duck spends a lot of time with my kid. I kiss Duck goodnight. I feed Duck breakfast. Duck has to have a special seat on the couch so he can watch TV at night. Duck has to be fed a snack. I have to watch Duck play the piano. No joke, Duck plays the piano. And my child insists that I spend a lot of time interacting with Duck. Guess she doesn't want him to be left out.
There is a distinction between cluck-cluck Duck, Evie's pet chicken, and this duck, who goes just by Duck. I know it seems a little confusing.
I initially thought that it was pretty cute, Evie's mild obsession with this fuzzy critter. Then as the mild obsession became more serious, I worried about whether or not this was a healthy fascination. After some searching online and some reading through parenting books I discovered this is apparently completely normal. Apparently just as infants are becoming incredibly independent toddlers, sometime during their 2nd year, they develop a strong attachment to some sort of lovey. Not all toddlers do it, but a lot do. And it's not only normal, it's good for them! Apparently having something there to support them helps support their budding independence and helps them to cope with the fears their increasingly complex imagination comes up with. Kinda neat.
So I'm back to indulging the obsession. While simultaneously keeping it in check. Duck is not allowed to go outside and play. If Duck goes with us on trips to the store or other errands, he has to stay in the car. When we go to the park or for a walk, Duck can go with us, but he is not allowed out of the stroller. Duck has to have regular baths. All in all, we don't typically have a lot of problems out of Duck. It is occasionally left up to me to make sure and remember Duck though. There have been mornings that in the rush of getting both babies, myself and Mushu (who goes to doggie daycare at my mom's boarding kennel) out the door, Duck is left behind. And I have to make sure that Duck has made it to the car, otherwise we might be 10 minutes down the road and have a meltdown because Duck isn't in the car.
It is sometimes a complicated life I lead...
This is Duck. The infamous Duck these days. Because Evie cannot go anywhere without this blue-furred creature. And this Duck is not to be confused with the chicken named Duck. They are in no way related. And Evie gets aggravated if you get confused.
I spend a lot of time with this duck because this duck spends a lot of time with my kid. I kiss Duck goodnight. I feed Duck breakfast. Duck has to have a special seat on the couch so he can watch TV at night. Duck has to be fed a snack. I have to watch Duck play the piano. No joke, Duck plays the piano. And my child insists that I spend a lot of time interacting with Duck. Guess she doesn't want him to be left out.
There is a distinction between cluck-cluck Duck, Evie's pet chicken, and this duck, who goes just by Duck. I know it seems a little confusing.
I initially thought that it was pretty cute, Evie's mild obsession with this fuzzy critter. Then as the mild obsession became more serious, I worried about whether or not this was a healthy fascination. After some searching online and some reading through parenting books I discovered this is apparently completely normal. Apparently just as infants are becoming incredibly independent toddlers, sometime during their 2nd year, they develop a strong attachment to some sort of lovey. Not all toddlers do it, but a lot do. And it's not only normal, it's good for them! Apparently having something there to support them helps support their budding independence and helps them to cope with the fears their increasingly complex imagination comes up with. Kinda neat.
So I'm back to indulging the obsession. While simultaneously keeping it in check. Duck is not allowed to go outside and play. If Duck goes with us on trips to the store or other errands, he has to stay in the car. When we go to the park or for a walk, Duck can go with us, but he is not allowed out of the stroller. Duck has to have regular baths. All in all, we don't typically have a lot of problems out of Duck. It is occasionally left up to me to make sure and remember Duck though. There have been mornings that in the rush of getting both babies, myself and Mushu (who goes to doggie daycare at my mom's boarding kennel) out the door, Duck is left behind. And I have to make sure that Duck has made it to the car, otherwise we might be 10 minutes down the road and have a meltdown because Duck isn't in the car.
It is sometimes a complicated life I lead...
Friday, June 3, 2011
My mother's eldest child's oldest daughter
I am absolutely infatuated with this girl. Of course, as her mom I suppose that I am required to love her quite a bit. Her wild curly hair. Her perpetually scraped-up and band-aid covered knees above her bruised shins. Her crystal-clear-water-blue eyes. I love her. But sometimes she does things that I hope she won't grow out of when she's older and realizes how brave she is being.
Today I watched as she nonchalantly removed a large collection of spider webs from her playhouse and climbed up. She just swiped the webs, wiped them on the grass and went along playing. She ignored the half dozen spiders as they fled for their lives, she just plopped down on her slide and slid down. I marveled at the hundreds of women I know who would have screamed and shrieked as the small orb spiders scurried away.
I know as she gets older she will be told that as a girl she should be afraid of spiders. And there are plenty of reasons to be cautious with spiders (especially the potentially poisonous ones) but there's no reason she can't be a little diva and still be fearless.
It's just so neat to know that she doesn't have to grow up and be a total wuss about bugs. Like my serious phobia of camel crickets. Eek those things are sooooo creepy.
They grow!
So over the weekend I planted my tomatoes. I can't believe it, but they've already grown. A LOT! They're like little kids. But thank goodness I don't have to buy them clothes. Wouldn't that look silly? hah! It won't be long until I get to use my tomato cages though at this rate.
I'm very excited for them to grow up and start producing something! So much that I'm tending them daily and fret over them like a mother hen. No, really. My kids are jealous. But I absolutely cannot wait to eat the first tomato that I grew myself. I'm not sure why. I don't really understand it. But something about it seems very real and earthy and neat.
Evie was dramatically less help with the planting than I had hoped. She wanted to crush the flowers and pull leaves off the tomato plants at first. After I discouraged that behavior she did try playing in the dirt a little. Then she discovered that playing in the dirt meanT there was dirt on her hands. *gasp* So she gave that up pretty quick. But she did get a kick out of watching me play in the dirt and occasionally patting my back. Guess I was doing a good job.
Otherwise her only activity during planting was forcing me to regularly call to her to come back on the deck. When Josh got home from work we were still outside planting. He was exhausted from work, but he watched us plant and kept Elly happy.
Now that the plants are safely ensconced in their happy little pots, Evie loves to go out and smell them and pat them. She's quite proud of the work "we" did.
I changed my mind on sharing half of my plants with my mom. I felt a twinge of over-protectiveness and selfishness and decided to keep four of them and let my mom have two. I kept two of the beef steak and two Rutgers. I am amazed by how much they've already grown!
I also filled four pots with flowers. Two full of bulbs and two full of live plants. I've made no progress on my gate or my paint, but they are next on the list. Our deck is already more homey and decorated with the pots of tomatoes and flowers sitting around. I can't wait to have an evening at home with the whole family so we can grill out and have dinner outside.
The rest of my flowers are doing well also. My day lilies are doing their thing. They are just the best flower because they're practically impossible to kill and they proliferate wildly. The blanket flowers that I thought were going to be black-eyed Susans are also doing well. I'm a little disappointed that they aren't what I thought they were, especially since black-eyed Susans are my favorite flower. But I'm getting over it now that they're blooming.
I am so excited about all the possibilities and activities for this summer. Last summer Evie was still so young and then by this time I was pregnant again, so our plans were rather limited. This year, although Elly is very young, Evie is old enough that she will enjoy going on trips and doing things outside. I cannot wait.
I'm very excited for them to grow up and start producing something! So much that I'm tending them daily and fret over them like a mother hen. No, really. My kids are jealous. But I absolutely cannot wait to eat the first tomato that I grew myself. I'm not sure why. I don't really understand it. But something about it seems very real and earthy and neat.
Evie was dramatically less help with the planting than I had hoped. She wanted to crush the flowers and pull leaves off the tomato plants at first. After I discouraged that behavior she did try playing in the dirt a little. Then she discovered that playing in the dirt meanT there was dirt on her hands. *gasp* So she gave that up pretty quick. But she did get a kick out of watching me play in the dirt and occasionally patting my back. Guess I was doing a good job.
Otherwise her only activity during planting was forcing me to regularly call to her to come back on the deck. When Josh got home from work we were still outside planting. He was exhausted from work, but he watched us plant and kept Elly happy.
Now that the plants are safely ensconced in their happy little pots, Evie loves to go out and smell them and pat them. She's quite proud of the work "we" did.
I changed my mind on sharing half of my plants with my mom. I felt a twinge of over-protectiveness and selfishness and decided to keep four of them and let my mom have two. I kept two of the beef steak and two Rutgers. I am amazed by how much they've already grown!
I also filled four pots with flowers. Two full of bulbs and two full of live plants. I've made no progress on my gate or my paint, but they are next on the list. Our deck is already more homey and decorated with the pots of tomatoes and flowers sitting around. I can't wait to have an evening at home with the whole family so we can grill out and have dinner outside.
The rest of my flowers are doing well also. My day lilies are doing their thing. They are just the best flower because they're practically impossible to kill and they proliferate wildly. The blanket flowers that I thought were going to be black-eyed Susans are also doing well. I'm a little disappointed that they aren't what I thought they were, especially since black-eyed Susans are my favorite flower. But I'm getting over it now that they're blooming.
I am so excited about all the possibilities and activities for this summer. Last summer Evie was still so young and then by this time I was pregnant again, so our plans were rather limited. This year, although Elly is very young, Evie is old enough that she will enjoy going on trips and doing things outside. I cannot wait.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
It's a wonderful life...
When I first found out I was pregnant with Elly, after the initial "Oh...my...God..." moments..or weeks, in all honesty, my biggest worry was little Evie. My poor sweet baby whose life would be forever altered and for whom there was no way to prepare. There was no way I could set her down and explain to her what was coming and how much all our lives would change and reassure that it in no way reflected any change in my feelings towards her. The silver lining to this black cloud was the hope that Evie would never remember life before her baby sister. And a desperate hope that since Evie couldn't remember a life before Elly, Evie wouldn't be able to imagine life without Elly.
We are not even six months in...heck, we aren't quite four months in, but I feel like in that sense at least, we have been successful.
Baby bunching is hard. Very hard. If you are considering doing this intentionally, I don't recommend it. Honestly. I'm sure in another year or two, the challenges of the first six months of Elly's life will have blurred in my mind and life will be so much better that I might be crazy enough to tell someone it was worth it. God, I pray that it IS worth it. But right now, even with things pretty much calmed down, I wish that Evie had been at least six months older before our family of three became four. I think just 6 more months would have made our lives unbelievably easier. I also don't think it would be nearly as hard if I weren't working full-time. But I am. So that's just something we have to deal with.
It doesn't help that Elly is a challenging baby. Even my mother who raised two children classifies Elly as a "difficult" infant. So it's not just me! But Evie doesn't know that her little sister cries too much and spits up too much and doesn't sleep enough. To Evie lil Sissy is an integral part of our daily lives. And it touches my soul to see how attached Evie is to Elly.
When Elly cries, Evie is immediately front and center wanting me to fix it. When Elly wakes up, Evie wants to touch her, pat her, kiss on her and talk to her. When Elly eats, Evie wants to watch, comments, fusses and makes suggestions. When we go outside, Evie insists Sissy comes and if Sissy is napping or otherwise occupied, Evie feels that she needs to check on the baby at regular intervals. If Evie thinks Elly needs a blanket, a bib, a toy or a pacifier, she rushes to meet that need. It is adorable.
When I have taken Evie places without Elly, Evie gets incredibly upset. She also worries if Sissy goes somewhere without her. Elly in turn watches Evie with rapt adoration. When Evie comes within a couple of feet of Elly, Elly kicks her feet and grins and coos excitedly. She is infatuated with her big sister and no matter what Evie does, she can do no wrong in Sissy's eyes. Even if Evie gets mad and hits her or throws things at her, Elly continues to smile up at her.
But I feel like we have all finally gotten into a good schedule and life is pretty stable. Elly has started playing with toys and sitting up by herself some. Since she's started on solids she has been spitting up less and sleeping more regularly. We've almost even gotten her on a napping schedule! Holy crap! Things are going well, and next week we are bravely taking the babies to the zoo.
We are not even six months in...heck, we aren't quite four months in, but I feel like in that sense at least, we have been successful.
Baby bunching is hard. Very hard. If you are considering doing this intentionally, I don't recommend it. Honestly. I'm sure in another year or two, the challenges of the first six months of Elly's life will have blurred in my mind and life will be so much better that I might be crazy enough to tell someone it was worth it. God, I pray that it IS worth it. But right now, even with things pretty much calmed down, I wish that Evie had been at least six months older before our family of three became four. I think just 6 more months would have made our lives unbelievably easier. I also don't think it would be nearly as hard if I weren't working full-time. But I am. So that's just something we have to deal with.
It doesn't help that Elly is a challenging baby. Even my mother who raised two children classifies Elly as a "difficult" infant. So it's not just me! But Evie doesn't know that her little sister cries too much and spits up too much and doesn't sleep enough. To Evie lil Sissy is an integral part of our daily lives. And it touches my soul to see how attached Evie is to Elly.
When Elly cries, Evie is immediately front and center wanting me to fix it. When Elly wakes up, Evie wants to touch her, pat her, kiss on her and talk to her. When Elly eats, Evie wants to watch, comments, fusses and makes suggestions. When we go outside, Evie insists Sissy comes and if Sissy is napping or otherwise occupied, Evie feels that she needs to check on the baby at regular intervals. If Evie thinks Elly needs a blanket, a bib, a toy or a pacifier, she rushes to meet that need. It is adorable.
When I have taken Evie places without Elly, Evie gets incredibly upset. She also worries if Sissy goes somewhere without her. Elly in turn watches Evie with rapt adoration. When Evie comes within a couple of feet of Elly, Elly kicks her feet and grins and coos excitedly. She is infatuated with her big sister and no matter what Evie does, she can do no wrong in Sissy's eyes. Even if Evie gets mad and hits her or throws things at her, Elly continues to smile up at her.
But I feel like we have all finally gotten into a good schedule and life is pretty stable. Elly has started playing with toys and sitting up by herself some. Since she's started on solids she has been spitting up less and sleeping more regularly. We've almost even gotten her on a napping schedule! Holy crap! Things are going well, and next week we are bravely taking the babies to the zoo.
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