Discipline

It's something I hope all parents dedicate some serious thinking to. How to discipline your kids.

These days it's something that society even spends a lot of time debating. Positive reinforcement vs. negative reinforcement. Corporal punishment vs. bribes. To spank or not to spank. I know what the psychologists say. I know what doctors, lawyers and other parents say. But I really don't think it's anyone else's business how I choose to raise my kids. Or for that matter how any other parent chooses to raise theirs.

There is a line which should never be crossed. And that's abuse. But I think that the line between discipline and abuse can be fuzzy for some people. Some people see spanking as cruel. Punishments that I received as a child could get DSS called now. And I think that's a little ridiculous. I am no worse for wear after being spanked as a child. But the excuse of "I survived" isn't a reason in itself to choose to spank.

I feel like each child has an appropriate method of discipline. Everyone is different. For some kids, receiving a spanking would completely break their spirit. They would be crushed, devastated. For others, a spanking is the only way they can comprehend that an action should not be repeated. For some children, a sticker chart with a clearly defined reward system in place works perfectly. They beat themselves up for making a mistake and not obtaining that coveted sticker. While another child would never put forth any effort for a stupid old sticker.

Parents should know which method works for their children. And they should be allowed to choose. Society should not dictate whether or not a parent is allowed to spank their child. Spanking isn't child abuse.

A lot of things that there are no legal punishments for could be considered abuse though. Like letting kids get obese. It could be argued that parents who feed their children unhealthy foods, allow them to sit around watching TV and therefore allow their children to become obese (and develop all the health problems related to childhood obesity) are practicing a much more destructive form of abuse than parents who choose spanking. Or how about parents who hold their child to such a high standard that they have no self-esteem, become anorexic and self-abusive? Aren't those parents abusive? Parents who spend no time with their children, allowing day cares, teachers and baby sitters to raise their kids? Couldn't that be seen as cruel?

There are plenty of situations where a spanking isn't appropriate. A spanking should not cause any injury. A spanking should be a last resort, not the first step, for punishment. But whether or not I spank my child should be up to me and my husband. No one else.