Balancing life with two in diapers

For the most part, I think the girls and I have achieved a comfortable balance when we're home together. We've kind of fallen into a good groove of getting up and getting everyone fed. Getting everything together for the day, getting everyone dressed and then playing for awhile until time to load up and drive to Mimi's.

From our conversations it sounds like my mom has also achieved this balance. My poor husband hasn't quite gotten there yet, but he's only kept the girls by himself a few times. Balance seems to be achieved through trials and hardships. Like a merit badge, you have to put in a certain amount of time. Due to his weird work schedule it just hasn't worked out for him to keep the girls by himself but a few times. I think he'll get there. The last time he kept them seemed to go much better than the time before.

Well, I don't get anywhere the amount of time with  my oldest that I used to. I guess that's one of the more obvious things that happens when you have an additional child. The first one can't get as much time, especially since the first one is a little bit more self-sufficient. And of course the baby is anything but self-sufficient. However, she can get her hand to her mouth all by herself now. And she is really proud of that. But I think that means she's going to be a thumb sucker. *sigh* Thumb sucking is a much harder habit to break than a pacifier. Hard to take a kid's thumb away. Especially if you don't have a good saw. That's a joke. I'm not going to saw Elly's thumb off. Not yet at least.

This morning I actually got to play with Evie. Everything was taken care of. I was ready for work, all the bags were prepared and Elly was happily doing tummy time.

And by happy, I mean screaming, tears streaming down her face, hands pulling the blanket into little damp wads. Why is it that my babies just despise tummy time? Do all babies hate tummy time?

They can't possibly have always hated tummy time because there are pictures of me being quite pleasant while lying on my tummy as an infant. And back when my generation was small, doctors told parents to put babies to sleep on their tummy. They thought then that SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Syndrome) was possibly caused by babies spitting up in their sleep and choking to death or aspirating because a baby was on its back and unable to expel the vomit. In the 1990s doctors decided that babies were dying because they were rebreathing too much air when they slept on their stomachs, therefore not taking in enough oxygen and essentially suffocating themselves. I recently read a news article that scientists had found a gene that seemed to be common among babies which had died from SIDS. So it may be genetically linked. They're now beginning work on a test that can be administered to newborns to determine which babies are predisposed to suffer from SIDS. That will allow parents and doctors to monitor those babies more closely hopefully reducing the number of SIDS cases to practically nil. While the "Back to Sleep" campaign has cut down on the number of SIDS cases it has led to parents having to implement "tummy time" for their babies so that they can develop the muscles in their necks, back, arms and abs that allow them to hold and lift their heads, push up on their arms and eventually sit up unassisted and crawl. Basically babies are born with mushy useless muscles and tummy time builds the foundation which leads to every major physical milestone in the first two years of life. Neat stuff huh?

So, Elly has to suffer through several short sessions of tummy time each day. As Evie can attest I'm kind of a tummy time nazi. I was fierce and strict when it came to tummy time. Every single day at least 20 minutes overall and I preferred her to do 30. As a result she was sitting unassisted by four months old and walking at 10 months old. So poor Sissy is suffering through my relentless reign of terror now. I'm a dictator. I can't help it.

Meanwhile, Evie and I got to play with her Little People. I think Evie is adorable about 98% of the time. Even during some of her tantrums she's pretty cute. So watching her play and act out this little family is just precious. She makes the people do some hilarious stuff and I don't know where she comes up with it. One day the mom made the dad and the baby go onto the roof. Time out maybe? Evie loves putting the dog in the stroller and having the mom take it for a walk. She loves setting them up and moving them around and of course pushing all the buttons that make noises. The phone rings, the toilet flushes, the bath makes giggling and bubbling noises. The washing machine swishes and buzzes. I love this little house. Its precious and since it was my big idea for a Christmas present it makes me feel like I did a good job every time she drags it out.

For some reason, Evie loves wearing this monkey/leash that her Aunt Whitney got her for Christmas. I think its adorable. But its just some weird toddler nuance. She wore it all night yesterday and now all morning today. She cried when I made her take it off so we could go to Mimi's. Go figure.

Evie still doesn't talk as much as I'd like her to so when we play I make her tell me what everything is. This is the Momma. This is the Dada. This is the baby. This is the dog. Isn't it sweet that the dog is riding in a stroller to the breakfast table? I thought so.

Now a pig has joined the breakfast foray. I think once a dog and farm animals have joined the family at the table it goes from a simple meal to a foray.

I thought this was incredibly interesting because we've been lackadaisically trying to potty train Evie. Look! The baby is using the potty! Yay! Way to go baby. And the mom is taking a bubble bath. I wish.

Look at that sweet face! So serious...

I miss having more time to play with Evie. I know one day, eventually, and it will be here before I know it, Sissy will be playing with us. Soon she won't need bottles every few hours and diapers and burping and comforting and rocking. It will be far too soon that she'll be starting school and learning to drive and heading off to college. Everyone tells me to slow down and enjoy every minute but I still can't wait til Elly is a little older and the balance is easier.

While we have achieved some degree of balance and happiness, I think life will be easier in a few more months. Now I get up and feed Elly before Evie gets up. That way I can be done with Elly and fix Evie something for breakfast and take care of her once she's up. Then back to taking care of Elly for awhile. Then getting some chores done. Then snack and playtime with Evie. And then getting things done, either in preparation for work or chores if its a weekend. Then off to work. I only have a few hours in the mornings before we leave. Then in the evenings when we get home I have barely enough time to get them both ready for bed, eat a quick supper myself and then it's time for stories while I feed lil Sissy a bottle and put Evie to bed. I feel like its a huge rush with little time for the little ones. But it works.

A year from now things will be completely different too. Elly will be a fully functional toddler and Evie will be a 2.5 year old. Hopefully talking much more and even more self-sufficient than she is now. Bed time will be less me doing everything for them and more of them helping me. And thank goodness, no more bottles! Bath night will be a breeze because they'll be able to share a bath. I feel like I've made this speech before...and I probably have. I've probably typed a nearly identical narrative more than once. I apologize but I'm just clinging to that as the light at the end of the tunnel. The oh-so-bright future that will be a reward for the hard work we're all putting in now.

For now, I savor the moments that I get to sit down with Evie and play with blocks or Little People or just read a book while Elly is snoozing or playing happily. I try to make sure I take time every day to spend alone with each girl, just a few minutes for a hug and some loving if there isn't time for more. I think I need it at least as much as they do, if not more.

The one day last week that I was off work and took Evie downtown to do some shopping then went to Walmart (Woot!) to pick up a few things was the best day I can remember having in a long, long time. We were gone all morning and had the absolute best time. I asked Evie when we got back into the car if she had had fun. She looked at me, grinned, nodded real hard, and said "Yeah!" I honestly got tears in my eyes. My dear sweet girl.

Hard to believe that just a year ago that sweet girl was a chunky ball of cuddle monster with fat rolls everywhere.

Cute huh? I totally agree.