The Thin Line

I think there is an incredibly fine line between indulging your children and spoiling them. When I was younger I scoffed at parents who got their kids sooo much stuff. Because they were so obviously just giving their kid anything and everything they asked for. The kids knew no limits. Never heard "no."

I still scoff at those parents but now that I have kids of my own I can totally understand how it's so easy to do. Getting your kids things they want is pretty difficult to resist. It's hard to explain to someone who doesn't have kids how much love you feel for those lil people. But other parents totally know what I'm saying. Even when they're destroying your house and peeing in the floor and chewing on the window sills. You love your kids SOOO much. You may want to throttle them, but it's because you love them that you're able to resist.

Then when they get old enough to ask for stuff, you have this overwhelming urge to make them happy by getting them what they want. To express your love by indulging their whims. You love them and you want them to be happy. And watching their face light up when they get something they want just absolutely makes your day.

I think I do a really good job January through November as far not spoiling Evie and Elly. Typically we get them a small plush and some candy for Valentine's. They get a small gift on Easter and their Easter baskets. Birthdays are one big toy, some clothes and some books. That's it for our gift giving 11 months of the year. Evie isn't one of those kids who expects to get something every time we go into Walmart. Every once in a blue moon we see a movie that we really love and pick that up. Or a cute book. Or Carter's is having a good sale and I get them a couple of outfits.

By and large, we don't really get them a lot of toys during the year. I can't vouch for their grandparents, who have a tendency to get them little things here and there through the year of course. But isn't that what grand parents are SUPPOSED to do?

As far as Josh and I go, the kids don't get toys except on holidays. Granted, I don't think they're lacking for play things as a result. And I know as they get older and start really asking for things it will be more of a challenge.

With the exception of clothes, which were on an "as needed" basis usually, I don't remember getting things from my parents except on Christmas on birthdays. It's not that we did without or anything. And we could save up our allowances and report card money and buy things for ourselves during the year. But we didn't expect to get something for no reason during the year.

I really hope to continue that sort of thinking with my kids. I don't want them to be spoiled. I don't want them to expect something for nothing on a regular basis. But I can understand how so many parents get sucked into the cycle early on and just can't get out. And I can totally see the reasoning behind wanting to get your kids things they ask for. Especially when it starts off as a Dora movie here or a Princess doll there. Next thing you know you're in too deep and up to your eyeballs in debt trying to keep your little princess happy.

When it comes to Christmas, I'm absolutely horrible about going all out on presents. I mean, nothing ridiculous. I don't spend beyond my means or anything. But even though I said I was done Christmas shopping a month ago, I've bought a couple more things that I've come across and thought the girls would just love. Nothing over the top or outrageously priced. And not because I think they'll be devastated if they don't get it. Realistically I know Elly will be WAY more thrilled with the paper than the toys this year. But I get them toys because I really enjoy giving them things. And it's really the one time of year that I do really go all out. I mean, I'm giving them toys, but I'm also giving them both clothes that they need and books to grow their lil brains.

So that's not spoiling them...is it? Or is it?