What's wrong with pink?

Yesterday I was casually perusing my usual mom blogs and came across a review for a book about how to raise girls in today's society. The title of the book is Cinderella Ate My Daughter by Peggy Orenstein and it is all about how to protect your daughter from today's "girlie-girl" culture. From the review I gathered that the book is about protecting our daughters from the Disney princesses, Hannah Montana and everything pink and girly.

Okay, that's not a completely fair analysis but that's kinda the main gist.

I'm incredibly offended.

What the heck is wrong with princesses and fairy tales and pink and tiaras?

I loved Ariel and Cinderella and Snow White when I was a little girl and I still spent a large part of my childhood playing in mud and riding horses. Wasn't really interested in dating until I was in high school. I was never a girly-girl despite my love of fairy tales and princesses. The author mentions that focused marketing to young girls goes all the way back to Shirley Temple, who I was obsessed with, and that Barbie, dolls and all things "girl" brainwash our kids into being oversexualized, underachieving bimbos. Good grief! Can we, as parents, please stop blaming society for EVERYTHING and try taking some responsibility?

While I agree that 8 year-olds don't need to be getting their belly button pierced and dating, I don't think that being a fan of Beauty & the Beast is going to make that happen. I've seen that there is a lot of social pressure for girls these days to act and dress much older than they are. But it's not up to society to determine how your child dresses. It's up to you!

No matter how much pink and crinoline and perfume your child wears, it's up to you to teach them the values that you want them to be instilled with. If you want them to dress like hussies, then let them dress like hussies. If you don't want them to look like floozies, then you shouldn't let them out of the house showing more skin than an R-rated movie.

A girl can be girly without being a slut. You can like Barbies and baby dolls and dress up and still enjoy going outside and playing kickball or building a dam out of mud in the creek. I managed it. And I know when I was a little girl we didn't have Miley Cyrus and Lindsey Lohan or Bratz dolls or heck, even cell phones. But just because society has changed doesn't mean that our kids have to grow up as little hellions. Just because there are cell phones that let them access everything from Facebook to HBO to porn doesn't mean we have to buy them one or let them use ours. They don't need a television in their room or their own computer unless they are trusted with it and unless you have some sort of final say as to what's on it. We don't have to advertise how well off we were by buying them the latest and greatest in technology or spending $300 on a pair of shoes that they'll only get to wear a year. It's not necessary and it's frivolous and look where unnecessary and frivolous spending has gotten us. Into a national recession that we ought to be ashamed of, because when it comes right down to it, we allowed it to happen. The government's spending has followed our own.

Rather than worrying about whether or not our daughter's are fans of the Disney Princesses we should be more concerned about raising healthy, happy girls who have good morals and good self-esteem. Girls who know that their worth is not tied to what they wear or how expensive their clothes are or how much people like them. Girls who enjoy planting flowers or riding a bike as much as they enjoy playing dress up and having a tea party. That's the kind of girls I want my kids to be.

Yes, I like to buy my kids nice things as much as anyone else. But I don't think I have gone overboard or done it to an extreme degree. Yes, they wear a lot of name brand clothes. But they also wear hand-me-downs and consignment clothes and stuff from Walmart. They don't get everything they want. They have a plethora of toys, but a lot of them were given to us by friends and family, and they don't have everything out there.

While my youngest daughter isn't yet old enough to really have an opinion, Miss Evie is totally a girly girl. Her favorite colors are pink and purple. She loves to paint her nails, put bows in her hair, play dress up and totter around in Mommy's high heels. Evie also loves playing in the sandbox, driving her four-wheeler, chasing the dogs around and getting dirty. She's a pretty good balance I think.

And I plan on doing all I can to continue that balance for both Evie and her sister, if Elly turns out girly as well. We will continue to buy and watch Disney princess movies.

I understand that how my children grow up is largely my responsibility. Of course, they will do what they want but unless I instill in them the ability to make the right choices they will probably be able to make nothing but the wrong ones. Teaching them right from wrong, values, nurturing their self-worth and self-esteem...those are not society's responsibilities. And while I know that society can have a tremendous impact on my children, I don't feel that eliminating all things princess will shield them. Besides, princesses, "real" princesses at least, can teach girls good lessons. They can teach propriety, manners, poise, dignity, grace, charity...think about Snow White and Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty.

I worry a lot about doing the right thing and raising my girls "right" but I will not be worrying about whether or not the Little Mermaid is teaching them the wrong values or whether or not they're wearing too much pink.