Budgeting pressures

It is a lot of responsibility to be in charge of a family’s money. I’m the budgeter. The bill payer. The money person for our family. From talking to my friends, I think that every family probably has one to some degree or other. In many relationships, one person just steps up and takes the responsibility. Or maybe one person is better with money than the other. Or maybe they’re just the control freak. Or all three.

Either way, in our family, that person is me. And I have been since fairly early on in our relationship. I can tell you what our living expenses are each month, how much of that is just bill, what our gross debt is, how much is in savings, etc. I budget relentlessly, obsessively. I try to be prepared and to plan ahead. On big financial decisions, Josh and I discuss things, of course. But on the month to month stuff, he just likes to know it’s all been paid and kind of a rough determination of “this is going to be a tight month” or “we’re okay this month.” That sort of thing.

Recently, we have had some big financial changes and I’m feeling a bit of worry and fear as I face our first month of bill pay since things have changed. In the last month we paid off a credit card, traded in our old car and got a new car. As a result we have one bill that no longer exists, and two bills that will change. My car payment will be a bit more and go to a new place and my car insurance will be a bit higher. Plus, the new van has a MUCH larger gas tank and gets different gas mileage than the Versa. So I’m anxious to see how that plays out over the month’s expenses. Basically, I’m concerned to see how things go. I was careful and did the math and redid the math when Josh and I were discussing getting a minivan. I knew before we went to the dealership what we could afford and what we couldn’t. We’re within our budget of course, but I still fret.

Now I’m also looking to refinance my student loans, which could potentially save us a LOT of money. But again, the fear of the unknown just really gnaws at me. The federal government has approved a “Public Service Forgiveness Plan” where if you work in public service after 10 years of paying off your loans you are forgiven of all further debt. I have to refinance to be eligible which is a pain and there are several refinancing options to choose from. One of my refinance options would be to go with an income based plan and as my income stands now, I wouldn’t have to pay anything on my student loans. However, those bad boys would sit there and collect interest for each month I wasn’t paying on them. Ten years from now all that debt would be forgiven but still…the idea of my loans not being paid on for some unknown amount of time is a little scary.

It’s a lot of pressure to be financially responsible! To plan ahead with the future of little people in mind. A LOT of pressure. Trying to save so we can do annual family trips and vacations. Budgeting for things like gymnastics or swimming lessons. I want to establish savings accounts for each child so that they have a little bit of money to get started on later down the road. Meanwhile, looking a couple of years down the road and knowing that we really need a house with two bathrooms if we’re going to survive life with two girls. It’s a lot to keep up with.

But there is a certain degree of satisfaction at saving up and getting us something we need. Or surviving another fiscal year. We haven’t missed a payment yet or defaulted on any loans. I still have excellent credit and Josh’s credit is getting better. So maybe I’m doing alright. But still…I worry.