Bittersweet Birthdays

There is something so sad and exciting about first birthdays. Subsequent birthdays are pretty happy affairs. But the first birthday is so bittersweet.

And in less than a month I will be celebrating Elly's first birthday. Probably my last first birthday. 

Firsts are one of the biggest I think. But they are definitely more for the parents and family than the kid. A 12 month-old doesn't really care about the cake or the presents. Not really. It's more of a "we made it!" party than anything else. A chance for the proud parents to show off their bitty bundle that is now possibly a walking and talking toddler. A pretty dramatic difference from the teensy, mewling bundle that they brought home from the hospital just one year ago.

I've already announced to everyone that may care that I am going to cry on Elly's birthday. Just thinking about all of us singing her happy birthday and watching her tear up her smash cake, with all my family and friends around, makes me get a little choked up. I'm not sad about her birthday. Not really. But I acknowledge that this year has gone by far too quickly. And this first birthday, the first of many, is the beginning of the end. This marks the end of her babydom. And this birthday is the first of many. Marking off of one year which went by far too quickly and it will seem like no time and we'll be celebrating her second, third, thirteenth...you see what I mean?

I am not so much sad to see the end of diapers, bottles, bibs, burp clothes, diaper bags, sleep sacks, formula, baby food, etc. I am actually pretty jubilant about that. We're already working our way down to one bottle per day. And I plan on weaning Elly from that by about 14 or 15 months old. Then she will be giving up her pacifier at 18 months. Then we'll be potty training at 20 months (hopefully) and then 12 months from now we'll hopefully be done with all things baby. Maybe forever. But definitely done for the next several years. I haven't completely committed to no more babies. But I cleaned out my basement of all the baby stuff. I cannot imagine putting myself through another pregnancy or going through the last year of trying to readjust our family dynamic again. But after a couple of years have passed between us and our baby bunching experience (and the nightmare it has been at times) and my babies are going off to school and I suddenly have free time and a quiet house, I may feel differently. But for now, I'm done. And happy about it.

But at the same time, it's sad to see my last baby not be a baby anymore. Like one morning I got choked up and cried right after Elly got her first teeth. Because it meant that I would never again see that big gummy smile first thing in the morning. The sweet, precious things of her babyhood are passing. Soon her funny, three-legged crawl will be replaced with a toddle, then a run. Her cute little "Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba" while chasing me around the kitchen at night asking for her bottle will be traded in for demanding milk in a sippy cup like her big sis does. Then a big tantrum when I tell her that she can't have any more milk because it's bed time. It won't be long before she no longer climbs up into my lap and giggles and blows raspberries while babbling non-sense. And she'll stop doing goofy baby stuff, like putting diapers on her head and chewing on socks.

So, see, it's a little sad.

I am excited about her party though. We're having a Super Bowl party to celebrate her birthday. I know it seems kinda strange. I mean, she is a girl after all. But there are several reasons for it.

One, Super Bowl Sunday was the last day I was sitting around pregnant with Elly last year and I tried and tried and tried to make her come on Super Bowl Sunday because I thought that would have been neat. The next morning I went to Hugh Chatham to have a baby.

Another reason is that first birthdays are definitely more about the adults than the baby. And a Super Bowl party will be a LOT of fun (I hope!) for all of us. Elly won't really care I'm sure. And my family and I love football. Evie even loves football!

Plus with two girls, I'm sure I will be doing plenty of pink, girly birthday parties. Might as well have one that isn't a big taffeta explosion of pink and confetti, right? Well I think so. And my husband wholeheartedly agreed.

So, we'll be wearing football jerseys. There will be football decorations. We're going to do face painting. And we're going to have Super Bowl food! Pizza, hot wings, cocktail weenies, chips and dip, salsa and tortillas. Etc. So I am looking forward to that part. Especially the food. Yummy.

The planning is coming along well. Ordered invitations and got everything pretty much planned out. So now just gotta get everything actually in place. You know, get everything ordered and in place. A lot of the stuff we have left is just going to be day of type stuff. Like decorating. Obviously cannot do that until that Sunday.

I'm trying to just focus on the exciting parts. But any time I get off on a spiel about how much Elly has changed in the last year or all the cute baby things I am so dreading losing...well, I can't help but be sad. My baby girl is growing up! Again!

Hard to believe in less than a month I will have a one year-old and two year-old.