Shakey foundations...

I am a worrier. If you don't know this about me...well, I don't know how you missed it. It's a pretty prominent part of my personality most of the time. I come by it honest. My great grandmother (whom I have a lot in common with I think) was a worrier. I loved my great grandmother. Everyone I knew called her Ma Mary. And she was a worrier. She would dream up stuff to worry about. Would call to ask you if your car tires were okay and would fret over you if she heard you were sick. She was an incredibly sweet woman. And she was a worrier. Hard core. And so am I. Some how this worry gene skipped the two generations between me and Ma Mary. But I inherited a healthy helping.

Sometimes though, worrying is just necessary. Okay, maybe not helpful, I admit. But nonetheless, I feel that a moderate amount of worrying isn't just my nature but a realistic response.

(If I'm overly verbose in this post, I apologize. For some peculiar reason I have been struck with the notion to read Hamlet. So I might wax a bit poetic...)

Yesterday my husband found out that the company he works for has been sold. Who knows what the future will hold for the hundreds of employees.

Needless to say, I'm kinda freaking.

We've already been dealing with a cut in hours over the last couple of weeks but that was supposed to end next week with a transition back to Josh's original store. Now, we don't know if he's moving back or staying where he is.

He will have to reapply for his job. The new company doesn't know if pay rates will stay the same. If everyone will be rehired. They don't know what the insurance situation will be. They don't know what kind of hours employees will have. There are just dozens and dozens of unknowns. In fact, about the only thing that is KNOWN is that there will be a lot of changes in the coming months.

Needless to say, I'm kinda freaking.

While my husband doesn't think it's a huge concern (the company claims that the reapplication process is just for paperwork, that if employees want to keep their new jobs there will be no problems), basically it all sums up in my mind to we don't really know if my husband is going to have a job. And that is terrifying.

I have been through a lay-off, no income situation before. It was several years ago. I voluntarily left my previous employer to start training at the 911 center and the week after my husband came home really early from work and told me that he'd been let go. Suddenly we went from great income to no income. I was terrified. But another week later, Josh had gotten a new job working for the convenience store chain. Over the years the pay has been really good, the benefits have been good. It seemed to work out for the best. Back then, we had some savings. And we didn't have kids. The only ones going hungry if we lost our jobs was us.

Fast forward to today. No income now would be disastrous. Since I just finished Christmas shopping our savings account is kind of depleted. We only have enough to get by for maybe a month if Josh lost his job. And in today's economy, it's hard to find a new job in less than a month. We could lose our house, lose our cars...the possibilities are just...well, just typing it brings tears to my eyes. I don't know what we'd do.

And I know you should really have more saved than that, but with our finances, I'm pretty proud that we have a month's worth. There's not a lot of extra and we do a pretty awesome job sticking to our budget and putting at least SOMETHING in savings every month.

Even if he keeps his job, which in all honesty, he probably will. It's more often the ones at the very top and very bottom who go when these kind of company acquisitions happen. And Josh is comfortably in the middle. But even with him still employed there are so many things that we just don't know. Like insurance. Both of our kids are on his insurance. Because, honestly, we cannot afford to have them on my insurance. And with kids you really have to keep them insured. And pay. Even if he keeps a job, if his pay goes down much we still won't be able to make ends meet. They might move him to a store that is so far away that we can't afford the gas. They could put him back on thirds and we'll never see him. We have two kids to feed and clothe and shoe and those are EXPENSIVE things to do.

I'm just hoping and praying and cringing and crying and keeping my fingers crossed that everything turns out for the best. In the long run it always does, but it's the path in between that gives me indigestion. Too much to struggle with.