Goal...met?

Well, I did it. It took me about a month longer than I had originally hoped. But I lost all of my baby weight.

I cringe to admit this, but I gained 70 lbs when I was pregnant with Elly. However, I managed to lose it. All of it. It just took me seven months instead of the six I had hoped for. I am so excited! I have done way better this summer than I ever thought I would. Not only did I lose the weight. But I'm actually several sizes smaller than I was the last time I was this weight. The downside is that most of my clothes are kinda baggy. But ah well.

I have even surpassed my goal, losing four more pounds in the month since I made pre-Elly weight. I am officially within one pound of my ultimate goal weight. Every morning I step on the scale, crossing my fingers to see that little ticker stop on 120. While simultaneously praying it hasn't gone up. So far, I'm just sitting on 121. But considering how frequently I've been cheating on my diet lately, I'm just tickled that it hasn't gone back up.

While I'm overjoyed to have made it so far in my weight loss in less than 8 months, I am kinda afraid to lose the last pound.

It sounds dumb. I know. But I have spent like, 3 years now either losing or gaining weight. I don't have the slightest idea how to just maintain.

One solution is to continue trying to lose another 5 lbs. But if I make it down another 5 lbs then I will be borderline too skinny. Heck, I will be too skinny. Granted, being "too skinny" will leave me some room to gain a couple of pounds. But I don't particularly want to start a vicious cycle of working to lose 5 lbs and then eating haphazardly until I gain 5-10...I just hate that.

I'd like to just stay a weight, give or take a few lbs either way. Because, let's face it, as women our weight doesn't just STAY the same. Hormones, stress, sleep patterns, fiber intake, etc rocks that scale from week to week. Seems like trying to lose weight is about the only way to get the scale to not budge. So I guess I need to figure out what my give or take a couple of pounds weight is. That's just a hard number to pick.

Even harder than picking a number will be maintaining the level of exercise that I'm at currently. Else the pounds will just pile back on. With winter fast approaching, it will be so difficult to get myself outside and walk. And I don't have a treadmill or anything. So, what to do?