How do you know?

So, it may seem silly to be wondering this as I simultaneously sit and worry about how I'm going to deal with two children. But the other day a friend asked me if I thought I would have any more children. And I've actually gotten that question frequently. I'm not sure what it is about being pregnant but people ask me a lot whether or not this is my last.

And honestly, I don't know. If I could win the lottery. Or my husband got a job making like $100k a year. Or I were to inherit a fortune. If something were to happen so that my financial status were secure and I could just stay at home and have babies and then raise those babies, I'd probably have like..four kids.

Before you ask, yes, I am insane. But I just love the notion of a house full of kids and a huge kitchen table surrounded by children. And the holidays would be so much fun. And when they were grown and had their own kids and came back home for Christmas and Thanksgiving, it would just be so neat.

But without any financial security, it just seems too risky to have more than two kids. My husband and I want to do big family vacations and be able to provide for them and with cost of living being what it is today, that seems hard enough without kids. Let alone with 3 or 4.

So, two is probably it for us. Others have said they just felt like their family was complete after they had "X" number of kids and that's when they knew. But I don't know. In the meantime, we are not taking any permanent measures. I just can't imagine this being my last baby...but I also don't know that I want to go through another pregnancy. Especially with my ginormous babies. It has to be hard on me physically in ways that I don't know about yet.

But how do you really know? Really? And what if you get your tubes tied or whatever and then wake up one day and you want another baby?

Just in case you were wondering...