Saying Goodbye...

As we sit at the cusp of a new year, everyone always talks about goals for the new year and reflecting on the past year. The new year is supposed to be a time for celebration and happiness. But for whatever reason, I've never really felt that way. I've always seen December 31 as more of a sad day. Its the last day of a year that has done so much for me. Watching the ball drop, I've done the countdown, kissed at midnight, and been incredibly inebriated by that time numerous times, but if I sit and think about it, I feel melancholy and glum about starting a new year.

For one, it takes me months to remember to change the date when I write checks. And that is just annoying.

For another, I'm a planner. I like to know what's going to happen, when and who will be there. I make budgets and grocery lists. I plan out Christmas presents for everyone months in advance. I go over every line of my account statements online almost daily and make sure that everything is as it should be. I make long-term financial plans for how we'll be able to afford Josh a new car and a new roof for the house while still having enough money in savings for some "padding" because you never know what can come up. Yeah, it's obnoxious. I can't help it. I remember being young and worrying about money and somehow that has translated into being controlling of everything. Some call it a flaw...I like to think of it more as a quirk. And my husband is lucky because he hates dealing with bills and budgets and whatnot.

Starting a new year is like turning a blind corner for me. It's saying goodbye to everything and everyone from 2010 and hoping that 2011 is kind and charitable. It's praying that everyone hangs around and everything continues as planned. It's admitting I will be another year older (which, since I'm now starting the downhill slope from my 20's to my 30's, is sad) and even worse, that my daughter will be another year older. As exciting as her growing up is, it goes by so quickly. Everything goes by too quickly.

I clearly remember my first day of seventh grade, hanging out with friends in the parking lot after high school, graduating, my first day at college. It seems impossible that I've been driving for more than 10 years. More impossible that I will celebrate my fourth wedding anniversary this year. How is it that tonight will be the beginning of 2011? Where has the time gone?

So tonight we will say goodbye to a wonderful year. One full of ups and downs, as they always are. But for those of us who woke up this morning, it has been a blessing just to make it through. We bid adieu to those who will not be venturing into 2011 with us.

I am so thankful for all the blessings that my family has had this year. And I pray that the coming year will be blessed as well. I hope that our country finds stability, both fiscally and politically, and that the world as a whole finds a little bit of peace. So Happy New Year to you all. I hope that you have a safe and fun-filled night. Be careful out there!