When anything happens to a child, it just hits you. Or it does if you have a heart. And a soul. From my experience working with and in emergency services, any calls involving a child make us all cringe. I will never forget when I was working as a reporter and went to cover a call where two small girls had drowned in a pond near their home. Many of the first responders were in tears. The paramedics wouldn't give up and performed CPR long after everyone knew it was too late. The parents were there. I will never forget the image of their little shoes next to the pond. And how I couldn't get the Ray Bradbury story "The Lake" out of my head and the image from the story of the girl's long braids disappearing into the water, never to return.
My husband's cousin has a three year old little boy that is just the most precious guy. We met him first in 2008 when we flew out to California for Josh's sister's wedding. He has medical problems since he was younger and doctor's are still not sure what exactly is wrong with him. He's had some developmental delays but you couldn't find a sweeter kid. He's precious and has the brightest, bluest eyes. Well, my mother-in-law called last night to tell us that he was having more medical problems. And I was just so shocked. It breaks my heart that the poor little guy has to go through any of this and I just pray that he is healed.
The situation has made me remember the hard time that I had after Evie was born. I was dealing with all that postpartum hormone craziness and was so paranoid about Evie and SIDS. After a few weeks I relaxed about it a lot. But it was so hard to accept that I could no longer protect Evie the way I had for the last nine months.
During pregnancy, you are solely responsible for that baby's health. And it's easy to avoid drinking and smoking and take care of yourself for the baby. You have the baby with you 24/7 and the nudges and kicks and twists are reassurance that everything is well inside.
When the baby comes out it is both a miraculously wonderful and terrifying thing. Now the baby can be cut, hurt, fall, choke, break a limb, stop breathing, be poisoned, drown...the list is never-ending! I read once that having a child is taking a piece of your heart out and letting it walk around. And it is. To a T. You feel every bump, scrape, disappointment, and tear that the child sheds.
I don't know if Dads feel it the same or not. But boy, it tough to be a mom. It's so hard to send them out into the world and trust that they will come back safely. Every night when you put them down to sleep, you just have to pray that they'll make it safely through the night and through the next day.
Amen!!!!!!!
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