Preparing for Surgery

I think one of the scariest things to hear as a parent is that something might be wrong with your child. Like…really wrong.  Or even the possibility that something could maybe be wrong…even when it is contrary to what you have seen over the last 12 months.

I have blogged before about Elly’s “birthmark” or her boo-boo as Evie calls it. The plastic surgeon that her pediatrician referred us to was pretty confident that the place was a hemangioma. They are largely harmless and the only potential complication was if it grew and interfered with her eye. After a year of plastic surgery visits and check-ups, the doctor now says it is NOT a hemangioma. Yeah. Frustration.

The doctor said at our last visit that he believes Elly has a vascular abnormality. I don’t suppose it really changes our view on the last 12 months or anything. But it does change our future. Unlike a hemangioma, a vascular abnormality will not fade on its own. So the doctor wants to go ahead and perform several laser treatments.

Also, with vascular abnormalities there is a risk of other complications. The doctor said that with it being so close to her eye, she could have abnormalities inside her eye, putting her at risk for vision issues and glaucoma. He told us to schedule an eye check and said that she may need yearly eye exams for the rest of her life. In addition, there could be vessel clumps on Elly’s brain. These abnormalities could cause seizures, learning problems and developmental issues.

Insert heart stopping terror here.

Yeah.

The doctor added that the brain abnormalities were very rare and the fact that Elly hasn’t had any complications, either in the form of delays or seizures, by her age then she probably doesn’t have any problems.

To be safe, we do have an appointment with a pediatric ophthalmologist. Try to say that three times fast. It’s at the end of May. In the meantime, we get to prepare ourselves for Elly’s “surgery.” She will be undergoing three laser treatments on the abnormality on her face. The treatments will be about 6 weeks apart. So May, June and July. Hopefully by Evie’s third birthday Sissy will be all done and no more big boo-boo on her face.

On May 3, we find out what time we need to be at Baptist hospital.

And on Friday, May 4, we take Elly to Baptist, hand her over to the anesthesiologists and sit in a waiting room to pray.

The surgeon said that the whole procedure will probably only take an hour. The actual laser treatment will only take about 10 minutes.  But Elly will have to be put under for it. Which scares me to death, just to be honest. He said the laser won’t cause any blistering, so there won’t be any bandaging to deal with or anything. Hopefully pain will be minimal to non-existent.

I’m a little aggravated with the doctor for not having told me a year ago that the mark might have been something far worse than a hemangioma. Although the doctor said that even if there had been complications like a vascular abnormality on Elly’s brain, the only thing we could do would be medicate her to treat her symptoms. Meds to prevent seizures, therapy for delays, etc. And me knowing that her birthmark might have caused other problems would have just lead to wasteful fretting and worrying. Probably for nothing. So I suppose it truly worked out for the best how it has.

All in all, I’m trying not to worry about it. I’m hoping and praying and giving her lots of extra kisses. It’s a huge challenge to not worry. Especially for ME. Your prayers over the next few months will be really appreciated.

Is Child Obesity Child Abuse?

In July, Dr. David Ludwig published an article in the Journal of the American Medical Association stating that he felt that childhood obesity was child abuse and in severe cases the state should step in and seize custody.

Do you agree with Dr. Ludwig?

Over the course of my lifetime childhood obesity has gone from non-existent to an out-of-control health risk. It costs tax payers billions of dollars every year to pay for medical treatments. BILLIONS. Because of childhood obesity, dozens of other health problems have also increased astronomically as my generation is reaching an age where our poor health a decade ago is beginning to really impact our daily lives. High blood pressure, high cholesterol, Type 2 Diabetes, hypertension, depression, joint problems, respiratory problems, thyroid problems...on and on, the list goes.

Did you know that obese people, people who eat themselves to the point that their joints can no longer support them and their heart and lungs cannot tolerate any exertion, can qualify for disability? They eat Whoppers and Big Macs three or four times a day and sit on their couch, then they get on disability and welfare and food stamps. Then those of us who work 40 hours a week pay for their food and their housing and their health care. It is, pardon my french, bull shit.

People are up in arms about drug testing for welfare. What about not letting people who made THEMSELVES disabled get on welfare? That would save us millions of dollars each year. Then maybe social services could afford to help people who actually DESERVE help instead of those who refused to help themselves.

And what about these people who not only do this kind of damage to themselves, but to their children as well? I was in Wal-Mart one day and saw an incredibly obese woman on one of those electric shopping carts. Now, I didn't stop her and ask how she ended up there. She may have a thyroid condition. She may have been in a horrific accident which left her disabled and led her to her being overweight. I try not to judge people. I REALLY do. But riding on the back of her electric shopping cart was a very, very overweight little boy. And in her shopping basket, were honey buns, ding dongs, white bread, candy, microwave meals, etc. Not a single green and leafy item was in there. Not even something that was at one point in time green and leafy. I was so upset that I had to literally bite my tongue and clench my fists and flee that aisle.

Childhood obesity is a complicated issue. I don't believe there should be a blanket rule that overweight children come from unfit parents and therefore those parents should lose custody of their children. And I don't know that the state is going to do any better at keeping children healthy and fit than their parents. I'm sure foster care isn't really big on healthy living and active lifestyles. They're more about getting children permanent placement in a system that is already overcrowded.

But I do feel that something should be done to parents who are complacent or even encourage the kind of lifestyle that leads to childhood obesity. A lot of factors influence a child's weight, from genetics to nutrition to ethnicity. But there are so many ways to fight childhood obesity. Why aren't more parents doing it?

I know what it's like to not have time to cook a big healthy meal every night. Heck, I'm not even with my children for supper five days of the week. But I talk to their caregiver (and yes, that's my mom) regularly about what they're eating at her house. And I say something if I'm concerned that she's offering them unhealthy options. Granted neither my younger brother nor myself are obese and we weren't obese children. So my mom has a good track record already. But even when time is limited, those Green Giant Fresh Steamers from the frozen foods aisle take about 5 minutes to microwave and even my INCREDIBLY picky two-year-old will much on a couple of veggies with her chicken nuggets. And I work really hard to consistently offer at least one healthy meal per day. And overall, I think my kids eat fairly healthy. They get minimal butter and lite syrup with their waffles. Whole grain bread for sandwiches. Goldfish for snacks. Fruits and veggies every day. It's tough to work 40 hours a week and still cook (not to mention clean, laundry, play, exercise, etc. but such is the life of a mom!) but if I can do it, I don't see why any one else can't.

And I hate the excuse that eating healthy is too expensive. My husband and I are just a hairsbreadth above qualifying for Medicaid and WIC, I have large college loans I'm paying off, plus a house and two car payments, not to mention month to month bills, and my kids aren't living off the dollar menu at McDonalds. I cook healthy, wholesome meals for them several days a week. They eat plenty of fruits and veggies, though admittedly they are more often frozen than fresh. We eat white meat instead of beef (turkey-burger and chicken, no ground beef and the REALLY rare hamburger). And despite my near-poverty I haven't eaten out in a month. I could count the times I've eaten at a restaurant (fast food or sit down) this year on my hands. Not many people can do that I figure.

One of the worst things about childhood obesity is that these poor little kids will be affected for the rest of their lives. They will be singled out and picked on. They will be called "fat" and "ugly." They will have health problems. And they will have psychological trauma because of their weight. Maybe society is blame. Maybe the government. Whatever. You can spend the rest of your life griping and pointing fingers, but in the majority of cases childhood obesity is preventable. And it is PARENTS who should be held responsible.

PARENTS who don't lead healthy lives and don't set healthy examples. PARENTS who bring junk food into their homes and make constant grazing acceptable. PARENTS who don't encourage their children to get out of the home. PARENTS who purchase video games and cell phones and computers instead of a basketball net or a soccer ball or a bicycle. It is PARENTS who allow their children to become obese.

And I'm not talking about a pudgy phase where a child has grown out but not up. Or baby fat on an elementary school kid. Or even baby fat on a high school kid. I'm talking about OBESITY. Severely overweight children who will spend the rest of their lives dealing with a slew of medical problems because their PARENTS were too damn sorry to get off the couch and interact with their children.

When I was little, we spent time outside. We ate our veggies. Going out to eat was a special (and rare) treat, not multiple times a week sort of occurrence. We rode our bikes and played basketball in the driveway. (Not to mention weeded flowerbeds, cleaned house, fed and watered horses and chickens and dogs and pigs, mucked stalls, etc.) Even after GameBoys and Nintendos, I remember being forced out of the house to play. So why can't parents do that today?

So do I think it's child abuse? Heck yeah I do! If you have a child who is morbidly obese and a very serious medical condition didn't make him that way, you are an abusive parent. There is absolutely, beyond a shadow of doubt, no excuse for that. As a parent, it would kill me to know that I had caused my child such pain. Mentally, physically and socially.

I am not a perfect parent. Some days I'm a LONG ways from it. In my house we do eat the occasional cheeseburger, there are frozen french fries in my freezer, and my toddler is more likely to eat a chicken nugget than a salad. We have buttery popcorn on movie night and a frozen pepperoni pizza for lunch some Saturdays. We aren't vegans or vegetarians or health nuts. I don't shop organic or keep fresh fruits in the fridge. But I make a conscious effort to keep us healthy and active. And I don't think that is too much to ask of any parent. It's for the kids, after all.

What do you think? Do you actively try to keep your kids healthy? Or do you just live healthy and hope they follow suit?

Living with a Hemangioma

This is a strawberry hemangioma. And yes, that is the side of my sweet baby's face.

Miss Elly was born with this. Well, actually she wasn't. It didn't show up until she was a week old. But technically it was there when she was born. Hemangiomas are like benign tumors. It's a collection of blood vessels that grows incorrectly close under the skin. They show up in the days or weeks following a child's birth and grow for the first year. After the first year, hemangiomas shrink, usually fading completely by the child's fifth birthday.

Hemangiomas are more common in girls. And they're apparently hereditary, since both of my girls have one. Evie's was in her diaper area and luckily never got bigger than a pencil eraser. Still, we visited a plastic surgeon at Baptist hospital several times to keep an eye on it. Hemangiomas can appear any where on the body. They can also grow to be massive and cause lots of problems with a baby's development. Typically if a hemangioma is going to cause a child any problems, it will be removed. Either by laser or cut off.

The doctors were initially concerned with Evie's hemangioma because of the potential for irritation and infection. But by her first birthday, hers had already disappeared. Elly's caused a completely different set of worries. Because of its proximity to her eye, the doctor was worried that it's growth would interfere with her eye lid's function, her vision and therefore her development. A young child has only a very limited number of ways to take in the world and learn. Interference with vision, a major sense, could cause some very serious delays and problems for Elly.

Queue lots of worrying and stressing and praying on part of her mom.

The doctor didn't want to do anything unless it was necessary, though I was initially for lasering that bad boy off before it could cause problems. I didn't want my poor little girl dealing with this big ugly growth for half a decade. I wanted it gone! But the doctor wanted to wait til she was older. Unless it started causing any problems. In the meantime, he just wanted to wait and see. Then we could possibly look at putting her on some medication to limit its growth. Or even do some laser treatments and remove it.

At six months old the doctor started talking about laser treatments and I actually thought about what all would really be entailed in doing laser treatments. Elly would have to be put under general anesthesia, she certainly couldn't be expected to just hold still while they performed the procedure. And since she was being put under, they'd have to put her on a cardiac monitor, IVs, and might even have to intubate her. Now, a cardiac monitor isn't really that scary for an adult. Nor is an IV. Not even with my fear of needles. But this is a six month old baby. Imagining my daughter surrounded by tubes and wires scared the crap out of me! So I asked, since the hemangioma hadn't grown much, if we could wait a couple more months and see what was happening before we booked an OR. The doctor agreed. And we set up an appointment for when Elly was 8 months old.

Fortunately, at the 8 month appointment, Elly's hemangioma was starting to fade. The outer edges were nearly gone, only the dark patch by her eye remains. The plastic surgeon feels like it has grown all it will and it should continue to fade and disappear in the coming months and years.

Initially I had a lot of concerns about the aesthetic issues with Elly's hemangioma. After we decided it wasn't really interfering with her vision or development, which was my main concern. I worried about people thinking something was wrong with her. And lots of people ask if she fell down or scratched herself. I try not to. But I worry about if it hasn't faded by the time school starts, what the other kids will say to her or about her.

Kids can be so mean. I don't want Elly to start out life with a disadvantage. So I hope and pray that it is gone before then. And I know they'll notice it. Even Evie regularly points it out and asks about Sissy's booboo. And she's only two.

Despite my concerns about the presence of the hemangioma affecting Elly's future, I'm still not willing to put her through a potentially serious surgery and all the pain and problems associated with it for an aesthetic procedure. So we will wait and see. And of course pray it's gone. And thank God that it isn't causing any problems.

We've survived!

I hate to be overly enthusiastic...

This early into the game...it could jinx us. But...two months down. We've made it this far. I remember the first two months being the hardest with Evie. Though of course it was a cake walk compared to the two months with Elly. From that point on, baby's immune system improves dramatically, baby starts being awake more during the day, sleeping better at night, holding her head up well and just generally becoming easier to take care of. Two more months and we'll be starting cereal and solids and baby will be more like a person than a high-maintenance time-suck.

So we went to Elly's two month check-up today. She laughed and smiled while we waited for the doctor to come check her. I undressed her per the nurse's instructions. We walked around the room looking at the art work and "talking."

She loved the art work. She stared at this one painting and wouldn't look at me...

No matter how many times I cooed and said her name.

She was in love. Completely and utterly in love. 

Nothing would draw her away from this picture. And being a little person barely experienced in this world she couldn't be getting more from the picture than just being awed by the colors. Though it's a neat picture of a construction site with lots of labeling and little interesting people.

She stared at it from the time I got her clothes back on her after the doctor left us until the nurse came to give her the injections. 

While we waited for the doctor I marveled at how much different she is from Evie. It's amazing how much difference there can be in two personalities. I can't wait to see how much different and alike they are when they're older and really have their "own" personality. When Evie was a baby she was either crying or she wasn't. There weren't a lot of "noises" in between. She did the "ah-goo" type stuff eventually but nothing like what Elly does. Elly talks all the time. Grunts and coos and makes little "ah" and "ooh" and "eww" noises. I've even heard some consonant type noises. Her smile is just adorable and the rare laughs I can get from her are just too precious. 

I also marveled at how much simpler going to the doctor was with just one baby. Especially when that baby wasn't sick.

The doctor said she had "perfect skin" and looked "great." Her weight is in the 94 percentile and her height is 66 percentile. She's growing great and is doing really well. I asked the doctor about Elly's tongue, which seems really short. My husband was born "tongue-tied" and it's something that I've worried about one of our children having. He had a procedure done at 18 months old to actually snip the membrane under his tongue slightly making it easier for him to talk. The doctor said that she does seem to be a little tongue-tied and its something else we will have to monitor. *sigh* So now we're monitoring a large hemangioma on Elly's forehead and a membrane under her tongue. The doctor said many children are able to stretch the membrane out on their own without any procedure.

Which is good. Because I don't like hospitals. And I don't ever want to need to take one of my babies back to one.

 I don't want to see this again...and I hope you understand why. This...is heartbreaking.

I want to see more of this...

And this...

 

I love sleeping babies. They warm the cockles of my heart. :-) As do baby feet. 

Like these. I could just kiss them. And I do. 

But back to our doctor's appointment. All in all the doctor deemed her to be in excellent health. Told me to keep up the good work and that she'd see me in a couple of months. Then we had to wait for the nurse to come with the shots. Which SUCKED. Poor little Elly. It's hard to grasp what a baby's impression of their first real physical pain is. I mean, shots HURT. Really hurt. And this is the first time a baby has experienced anything like that. Elly didn't just scream. She wailed. And yelled. And cried. And pulled my hair. I'm not sure but I think the last was intentional. If it wasn't she made it look pretty intentional. 

But she survived. And we dried off her face and put her little pants back on. She cried a little more. I gave her the paci back and put her in her car seat. About 30 seconds later she was asleep. 

Leaving the doctor's office I was still elated that we had all made it to this important milestone. Maybe we can survive this after all!