Announcing: A New Addition

No. I am not pregnant.

Thank goodness.

We're getting a new puppy!

Well, specifically Evie and Elly are getting a puppy but in all honestly, I will be getting a puppy. Because I know who will be house training the puppy and keeping the puppy from the destroying the house and probably doing most of the care taking of the puppy.

So, now we are waiting for the puppy to get big enough to take home. They are currently being hand fed by my mom because their mom's milk dried up and the girl who had them wasn't able to take care of them. They are 3/4 Chinese Crested and 1/4 Longhair Chihuahua. But the two my mom has just look like chihuahuas. They'll probably be around 10-12 lbs full-grown. I'm hoping they're smaller than that, but I'm okay with a bit bigger. I just don't want a medium or big dog. I just don't like them in the house. They're messy. They chew things up. When they have an accident it is MESSY. I have two children and a full-time job, I really have plenty to do without adding a really destructive four-legged baby to the mix. But Mushu's size is perfect and he's about 10 lbs.

So, you're probably thinking that I just said I had enough on my plate. Why on earth are we getting a dog?

Well, several reasons, none of which are very good though they sound good. Everyone loves a puppy. The puppy needs a home. Evie has asked for a puppy.

Mostly, I want to get the girls a dog to grow up with. A dog for them. That'll be their buddy. Play with them, chew on their shoes, pee on their toys and sleep in their room. One that will be as much a sibling to them as their sister is. A sibling that will teach them the real meaning of love and adoration and responsibility and eventually loss. And please don't think I'm horrible thinking about a poor little puppy's death 15 years from now. But it's life and everything that lives has to die. And it's an important lesson for a kid to learn. Everyone gets old and everyone goes home.

A dog can teach a lot of lessons.

So we're taking in a little homeless puppy that conveniently showed up after Josh and I had discussed getting the girls a puppy for Evie's third birthday. And I figure now's as good a time as any to get a dog. Evie's potty trained. And the puppy will be house trained before I start potty training Elly. Then I will get Elly potty trained and next spring we will use our tax refund to replace the carpet in the living room. Because I'm sure after two babies and two puppies (Mushu was house broken since we put that carpet in) that carpet will be seriously overdue for replacing! Honestly, it could use replacing now but I'm not even going to bother when I have another girl to potty train.

Also, I want a dog that will actually PLAY with the girls. Evie wants so badly to have a game of fetch with Mushu and that boy will NOT play. He will guard her, kiss her face and occasionally snuggle her but he doesn't want to play with her. He's not really big on interacting with her honestly. So I'm thinking if we get a puppy that grows up with little people instead of being grown and suddenly having two little people added in a short period of time, maybe the puppy will play. Mushu's problem isn't that he doesn't want to play. He drives me crazy trying to get me to play fetch long after I'm bored with playing fetch. Just not Evie.

So, next week the puppy's are five weeks old. The week after they'll go get their shots. Then after that it'll just be up to my mom for when she lets us take the puppy home.

I'm excited but apprehensive. I know it'll be a busy and difficult first couple of months getting her trained and adjusting our lives to a two-dog-household. But I look forward to getting past the bad days of puppydom and into Evie, Elly and puppy being best buds.

Now, we need to figure out puppy's name...Mushu is named in part after the dragon on Mulan and the Chinese dish. And I have looked around for cute Chinese names and cannot find one. However, there are several Japanese names that I like and Evie says she likes. So we'll see.

Wish us luck! There will be numerous puppy updates!

Santa Claus is Coming Momma!

Everybody knows all the classic Christmas songs..."Wish You a Merry Christmas," "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer," "Silver Bells," "White Christmas," "Santa Claus is Coming to Town." We've all sung them dozens of times. Learned the lyrics when we were little and have practiced every year since.

But Christmas music takes on a whole new dimension when you have kids. Toddlers and preschoolers are very literal people. The concept of metaphors and analogies is a bit beyond their linguistic grasp. They are new to the world of pretend and imaginary. And are still getting used to all the many layers of language. If you tell them to stop having a cow, they're going to look around and tell you they don't see a cow. It can lead to some really humorous exchanges.

Well, we have been listening to Christmas music all month. But only the last couple of weeks have we been listening to radio Christmas music. I usually listen to Trans-Siberian Orchestra through the Christmas season. But Evie didn't really get much out of that. So we switched to the radio and all the 'pop' Christmas music that you can really dance and sing along with.

So there we are in the car, when the song "Santa Claus is Coming Tonight" comes on the radio. I start singing along, not really thinking about it. Then, from the backseat, Evie yells "MOMMA!"

"What baby?"

"Santa's coming!"

"What?"

"Santa's coming Momma!"

Then it clicks. Oh yeah.

"Yeah baby, he is. But not right now. He's not coming for about 12 more days."

"Oh. But...Santa's coming?"

"Yes Evie. Santa is coming. Just not today. Next weekend."

Since that day, the incident has been repeated. With different songs. Or from conversations she's overheard. I told the assistant from my eye doctor's office that I hoped she had a merry Christmas and Evie spent the next 20 minutes yelling "Merry Christmas Mommy! Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas Sissy! Merry Christmas Mushu! Merry Christmas! Merry Christmas Evie!" It's adorable. And pretty entertaining. I

n an attempt to correct the mistake that I made with sitting on Santa's lap (It completely escaped me that I would need to explain to Evie that little kids sit on Santa's lap to tell him what they want. Duh! Evie was happy walking up and talking to him but she totally freaked when I tried to put her on his lap. You mean kids aren't born KNOWING these things? lol) I have been going through all of our Christmas rituals step by step for her.

The ritual of setting out cookies and spreading reindeer food on the lawn. Reading Christmas stories. Talking about how Santa brings all the good boys and girls presents. Talking about how Santa will fill her stocking with goodies. We found an old skeleton key and have it hanging in the kitchen to put out on Christmas Eve. I told Evie that usually Santa comes down the chimney but since we don't have one, we will leave Santa a magic key so that he can come into our house. Of course, she REALLY wanted to put the key out right then. But I had to explain that Santa wasn't coming until Christmas Eve, so we would just wait til then. We talk about our Elf Bernard and what all he tells Santa about Evie's behavior. We talk about Jesus and his birthday and how much he loved all of us, especially little children. I hope I'm not forgetting anything.

Things have changed so much since her first Christmas. I couldn't have dreamed how much fun this would all be three years ago when I found out I was pregnant.

This morning on the way to drop the girls off at my mom's Evie heard some Christmas jingles on the radio and yelled, "Momma, Santa's coming!" And I responded with, "That's right Evie. Tomorrow night he's coming." And a look of surprise crossed her face. She doesn't necessarily get next weekend or next week. But she TOTALLY gets tomorrow. So yep. Santa Claus is coming!

Happy Christmas Eve Eve to you all!

No longer 2 under 2

Well, yesterday was Evie's second birthday.

I am still sort of in shock. Or denial. Probably a healthy dosing of both.

But I'm also a little sad. Evie's growing up so fast!

And I'm also excited. Hooray for getting the "baby years" behind us. Or at least being a little closer. Of course, we're stepping fully into the world of the terrible twos. Ugh.

And maybe a little bummed about the fact that I can no longer say I have "two under two." Though of course I will always qualify as a baby buncher. And I don't have any desire to reclaim my "two under two" status by also becoming someone with "three under three." The notion is quite terrifying!

So, adios to that title. And all the stress and work that went with it.

While I'm glad to say adieu to that period of my life (honestly, the first few months was HELL!) I will certainly look back on the time with a sense of accomplishment because hey, we did all survive. But it's relief to have it behind me. There were a lot of tears. A lot of yelling. A lot of missed sleep and stressed out days. And I'm not sure I will ever forget the terrifying days spent in the hospital with a 10-day-old infant. Though I wish I could.

I have learned a lot. Grown a lot. Calmed down a lot. Matured a whole lot. I think I am a much better parent after having survived the last six months. And while I'm happy with where we are as a family and I wouldn't do it any other way, I don't think I would recommend the two under two route to any one else.

Potty training...check.

So I don't know what point exactly you classify your kid as potty trained. But I think Evie is potty trained. I mean, she still has accidents from time to time. But those are pretty rare. And I'm still putting her in a pull up at night because, honestly, I don't want to deal with changing sheets more than once a week. Let alone possibly a few times a night. Uninterrupted sleep is just too vital to our family's functioning right now. And two-year-olds are tough enough without adding a lack of rest to the mix.

So yay. One of the first true challenges of parenthood is kinda under-the-belt. I don't look forward to doing it again here in a few months. Though the thought of not buying anymore diapers sounds AWESOME. Nearly six months of two in diapers is more than long enough.

Potty training is a challenge.

And washing your daughter's big girl undies is kinda sad.

But not buying diapers for her..FABULOUS!

Days go by

Wow. So yesterday Elly turned 6 months old. Like, officially. Really. Six months.

Please keep any smart comments to yourself about how it's time for me to be pregnant again. It's not funny. And I'm getting a little tired of people saying it.

So when I realized yesterday that Elly was officially 6 months old I wasn't really sure how to feel about it. But mostly I think I'm in shock. And a little apprehensive about the future. With Evie the 6 month mark was kind of the turning point. It was when she stopped being a useless squab and started playing with toys and interacting and pulling up on the furniture. Then one day she started crawling. It seemed like the day after she started walking. Then running.

Six months was the beginning of her not being a "baby" anymore.

Elly is definitely, probably, more than likely my last baby. And while I don't particularly love the squab phase, since this is the last time I will get to experience it, it makes me sad to think that it is ending. I just love little chubby legs and the soft baby smells and snoring babies sleeping on me. I will really miss those things. Far too soon, Elly will be crawling and walking and running all over. Then she will lose all the sweet baby rolls and sweet baby smells. She will be a toddler. Then a preschooler.

What I'm trying to say is it's all going by too fast.

I'm dismayed. Disoriented. Discontented. Disgusted. I'm running out of "dis" words...

Evie's going to be 2 in a week and Elly will be 1 far too soon. And before I have time to take a breath they're probably going to be teenagers. What on earth can I do?

Well, of course nothing.

Elly is sitting up completely solo now. Not even having to use her hands and "frog sit" anymore. She still needs a boppy around her or else she gets excited and throws herself backwards. This morning for the first time I left Elly sitting in her Boppy in the living room and came back and she was lying on her back about 6 inches away from where I left her. Gooing, kicking and incredibly proud of herself. I'm pretty sure she leaned forward and got onto her tummy, army crawled a few inches and then rolled over. It's not very impressive progress. Nonetheless, it is movement. And with babies it seems like one week they are completely incapable of doing something. The next they are doing it as if they were born able. It's amazing. Babies are amazing little critters.

Evie is saying new words every day. Now I have to carry on conversation with her in the car. Which is cool. But also new and different and a lot of pressure. I'm used to just listening to my music or catching up on my phone calls during car rides. But no more! But it's neat. Evie actually talking and stuff.

It is just blowing my mind how quick it all happens. Days turn into weeks turn into years. I could just cry.

Tough to be a Toddler

I was trying to help Evie explain to me what was wrong over the weekend when it sort of dawned on me. My goodness! It must be so hard to be a toddler. I don't think I've ever really thought about how hard it must be for her. Not that I've been terribly insensitive (at least I don't think so) about her two-year-old issues. But I don't think it's really ever clicked for me how tough it must be.

Can you imagine having the mental capacity to feel and imagine and think all that a two-year-old can, without having the words to convey any of it. A two-year-old just doesn't have the life experience to explain what's going on. Hell, I'm (almost) 26 and I don't have the ability to explain what's wrong sometimes. Sometimes even I just want to sit in the floor and cry for a couple of minutes. So how can I blame her?

Silly as it seems, this realization has totally renewed my outlook on the terrible twos. The last couple of weeks, with all of Evie's sleep problems, potty training, possibly getting molars and a random stomach thing, I have been so unbelievably tired of her. Horrible. I know. But it seems like she's good for everyone else, and the moment we're alone she's a little demon spawn. She's beating on her sister's head with a plastic elephant. She's slapping me for telling her no. She's throwing the remote at the television because I won't let her watch ANOTHER episode of Dora. She's screaming and throwing her pull-up at me because she doesn't want to go potty. She's ripping pages out of her books and pulling all of her clothes out of her drawers and pouring her juice out in the floor just because she can.

I'm at my wits end with her! I honestly don't even know what to do. In tears the other night I asked Josh what we were doing wrong. Why had our once sweet baby become this hateful creature? He just shrugged. I have asked so many of my fellow parent friends what's wrong with her and everyone just keeps assuring me it's terrible twos.

So, realizing that so many of our problems lately have been due to some serious communication break-downs has really changed my mood. Communications is my thing. I love language and learning everything about it. One of my favorite classes in college was History of the English language. Did you know that English is one of the most difficult languages to learn? Because English is a bastard language, derived from Germanic roots and an attempt to blend in French vocabulary. So many of its rules have exceptions and but's. It's incredibly difficult to learn! Look, you learned something today!

So the idea that Evie's behavior problems are stemming not from a discipline issue but a communication issue completely changes the game for me. I had no idea how to change my discipline tactics to adapt to Evie's increasing outbursts and defiance. Putting her in time-out either made her more angry or completely crushed her ego most of the time, neither of which is the purpose of time-out. I don't want Evie to see me as an evil and ruthless dictator. I'm her parent. I love her. I want her to KNOW that I love her. While I don't want her to think she has nothing to fear from breaking the rules, I also don't want her to fear me. Does that make sense? I don't want to beat her because she throws a fit. It seems counterproductive. And cruel. A smack on the bottom may be a necessary form of discipline but hitting her for hitting someone else seems to be a rather mixed message. So, I felt like none of my discipline techniques were working. And now I understand why! Because discipline wasn't the issue!

Since this epiphany, I have taken a different approach to life with Evie and ya know what? It has worked! Of course, Evie does still have tantrums because she's mad that she isn't getting her way. And for those a time out has sufficed.

(Humorous side note: I told Evie to got to time-out for hitting her sister. She pointed at the potty and said she needed to Potty. I was pretty upset over the hitting her sister and told Evie no, that she need time-out. I was assuming that she was just using the potty as an excuse to avoid time out, because she is pretty wily. She picked up her potty and carried it with her to the time-out corner. Too funny!)

But when she has a meltdown for no apparent reason I have sat down with her and asked her to try to explain what was wrong. Through asking yes and no questions, I've usually been able to figure it out and usually it's frustration over not being able to say exactly what she wants that is causing her to scream and cry.

Her mind is growing so fast that it's astounding! But she still doesn't always have the words to say what she means. How frustrating that must be. Every day she says new words. Yesterday she said "bunk bed," "check book," "orange" and "money." She thanked a clerk at the store and told him bye. It's so amazing to see. But as fast as she's learning new things to say, she understands so much more. She's starting to understand letters and numbers and math and rhymes. She gets feelings and schedules and time (not by a clock, but prepositional time, like before and after and later). She's beginning to show some real compassion and empathy for her little sister and even sharing and playing with her. Evie's imagination has grown in leaps and bounds as well. She has little tea parties for her animals and pretends to be a super hero "flying" up and down the hall.

But I can't imagine how frustrating it must be to understand SO much and not be able to express it. So I'm practicing a bit more compassion and trying to be more understanding when she melts down instead of being upset and frustrated. So far, it seems to be helping.

And they call it Puppy Love

Evie loves Mushu. Loves him.

They are best buds. And it is just adorable.

Especially watching her walk him on the leash. And she "corrects" him and if he doesn't listen she tells him he's bad. Or hearing peals of laughter from the back seat when we're going home.

See, my mom has a boarding kennel and grooming parlor for dogs (and cats) and does day care during the day. Since she typically has a wide variety of pups staying with her, I like to take Mushu for day care when I take the girls so he can run off some energy, go for a walk, etc. So Mushu goes with us every day.

I love looking back in my rearview mirror and seeing Evie and Mushu doing something cute.

Like snuggling. Or playing some sort of strange toddler-terrier game. Or just gazing out the window.

Evie insists that she be the only one to hold Mushu's leash. In fact, drama inevitably occurs every time we get in and out of the car because to put on her seat belt she has to temporarily relinquish Mushu's leash. She's gotten better lately. But man, some days it is impossible to deal with the screaming and flailing when I ask her to please hand me his leash while she gets strapped into her car seat.

Mushu was acquired as my dog. Josh has his beagle, Emily. And I had my little terrier. The teensy dog who needs sweaters in the winter and gets excited about wearing a coat in the rain. Until Evie came along, he was definitely the baby of the house. He got Christmas presents from the grandparents and got to go to holiday get-togethers. Then Evie came along and he went from being the center of attention to being another responsibility. Bless his heart.

Despite her stealing his spot in our lives and all of our attention, Mushu doesn't hold a grudge. At least not against Evie. He has become her constant companion. Follows her around. Plays with her. Worries about her if she gets hurt or stays the night somewhere else. He's a good boy.

Evie loves that little dog. And I think the little dog loves her. Heck, I'm sure he does.

At least most of the time. When she steps on him. Or body slams him. Or steals his toys. Or puts soap in his food bowl. Or pours his food into his water. Or screams at him. Those might be times where he feels less of that warm, fuzzy devotion.

A dog is a good pet for a kid. Loving. Protective. Forgiving. I think forgiveness is important in any relationship. But especially when dealing with a toddler. They still struggle with compassion and empathy and all those emotions that can be so important in a friendship.

But this is love.

You see his little leg over the car seat? And her little arm thrown over his shoulders? Precious.

Milestones and deadlines

Well, another deadline is looming.

Nine days before Evie's second birthday is another somewhat momentous occasion. Elly's six month "birthday." Which is also my self-imposed deadline to be back to my pre-Elly weight. My summer before Evie weight is a WHOOOOLE different story. But I'd like to be back to the weight I was last June by the time Elly is six months.

As of 7 a.m. today I weighed 132.5 lbs. That leaves me 7.5 lbs to go. But only 6 weeks left. I feel like I need to really buckle down and work to lose more than a pound a week but man. I have been craving bad foods like crazy. No, I'm not pregnant. Or PMSing. Or anything else hormonal that I know of. But instead of my usual summer metabolism, the one I had before I got pregnant the FIRST time, the one where I was barely hungry and a cup of coffee for breakfast, a small salad for lunch and a sandwich for supper kept me full...yeah, that metabolism doesn't exist anymore. Instead of the summer heat and activity making me NOT hungry, I'm starving nearly all the time. And sitting around in the bat cave for 40 hours a week, it's hard to come up with appealing and healthy snacks.

So I'm trying to walk every day. Doing yoga as many days as I can find the time and energy. Trying to give myself a cheat day occasionally to keep me from being totally depressed. And crossing my fingers every morning when I step on the scale.

No matter how much weight I lose I'm pretty sure that my pre-baby body will never return. And most days I'm okay with that. Sometimes, like when I see a picture of me on Facebook where I just look so BLAH, I wish I could get back that pre-Evie tummy. And if I win the lottery, I'm definitely getting a boob job. My boobs are practically non-existent now! But my sweet babies are totally worth it. And I don't look as bad in my little tankini two-piece as I thought I would. My size 8 jeans leave me some breathing room and size small shirts look good, as long as they aren't so tight they show the muffin top that my excess tummy skin can make.

Little Elly is rolling over now. And sitting up by herself. She's starting to play with toys and have some more personality. She's sleeping good and enjoying being outside and watching what's going on. Even Evie has noticed that Elly is improving. Evie brings her toys to play with and enjoys sitting in the floor and showing her how to play with toys. I can't wait until Elly is 8 or 9 months old and really crawling and playing. They are going to be such good friends!

Six months is a big milestone. With Evie is seemed like when everything seriously sped up. Babies work so hard to accomplish those first big physical milestones, rolling over and sitting up, but once they have the muscles developed for those, the rest of the gross physical milestones just sort of rush along. The first six months are spent on tummy time to finally accomplish rolling and sitting propped on their little hands...then the second six months is a rush of crawling, pulling up, feeding themselves, cruising and walking. It's amazing! And overwhelming. A baby goes from being a little squab to being a fully-mobile little person in such a short period of time.

And it is so amazing to see how much different individual children are! Evie was so advanced physically, but in the big physicals. From the get-go that girl was determined to walk. And no surprise that she was walking at 10 months old. As long as she got what she needed, she had no interest in talking. So again no surprise that she didn't start talking much til 18 months old. Elly on the other hand is a talker. Technically she's already said her first word "Ooma" for Momma. (Yay! A momma's girl!) And while Evie was never behind on the more localized milestones, things like grabbing and pincer grasp, I can tell a tremendous difference in Elly's capabilities. She can grab toys and pick up things far better than Evie could at this age.

So...six weeks...and I just feel like life will be so much different afterward. But it's not a bad thing.

Time Flies...

In about six weeks my little Evie is going to be two and to be honest, I'm feeling a little bi-polar about the situation. I fluctuate between being super excited and super depressed about the fact that my eldest daughter is going to be celebrating her second birthday. How did she get to be two already?

It has been so exciting watching her grow and develop. I thought that after the first year, when all the BIG milestones occur, that things would sort of stabilize and calm down. But it seems like she has changed just as much during this second year as she did during the first. The changes aren't quite so dramatic, but still leaps and bounds in her cognitive and communications skills. But I remember her first birthday like it was yesterday and I look forward to celebrating her second, and many many many more to come.

Evie's first birthday was a blast. She had never really been encouraged to make a huge mess of a cake, and I don't think she really knew what to do with herself. She finally got into it and made a decent mess of herself. It was hilarious to watch. And in typical Evie fashion she had her fans riveted and cheering her on. She was so precious.

This year we are planning on doing a pool party and cook out at the house. I intended initially for it to be a smaller party, and then when I started thinking of all the people that I wanted there, especially all of Evie's little friends, it ends up being at least as many people as last year. Not that last year was a HUGE event. But it was a good sized crowd.

I'm hoping I can get some of my family to each bring a dish, cutting down on the amount of work involved a little. Of course, I need to plan out what all food I want to have. Which is a chore in and of itself. Cake is all too obvious. And I'm going to do a little smash cake for Evie again. Hot dogs for all the guests. Chili, coleslaw (something my mom needs to make, cuz she makes some KILLA coleslaw!), potato salad, chips, maybe some cheesy bean dip (something else my mom should do!), cocktail weenies (cause they're delicious and Evie loves 'em)...but hmmm, what else? Some peanut butter cookies, because I have a neat #2 cookie cutter. And little baggies of popcorn. Another food Evie loves. Do I need anything else? That seems like a pretty decent spread. So, there's our menu.

The party is going to be late morning. I hope the weather is good, otherwise, I have NO idea what to do.

So as long as it's nice we will all be outside soaking up the sun and splashing in the pool. I'm going to hopefully borrow a slip-n-slide. And we've got a little bean bag Tic-Tac-Toe game. So I think we've got plenty to do.

Now in the next month, I have to get the house and yard in ship-shape. There's painting to be done on the deck and some touch ups inside. Weeding and what-not outside. Eesh. It's tiring just to think of!

I'm thinking if I bury myself in work and gifts and party supplies it'll keep my mind off the fact that my baby is leaving the days of babyhood and moving rapidly towards the preschooler age range. I've already told friends that I'm going to bawl my eyes out at Elly's first birthday party. It seems like the beginning of the end. My last baby having her first birthday. Probably be walking and talking and have accomplished all those other "firsts" by then. Evie's second birthday is the same sort of happy-sad occasion.

Mostly it is happy. But I am sad that time just seems to go by so quickly. Everyone tells me the older they get the faster it goes. And while time is flying by I'm left praying that I have done as good as I can. That Evie knows above everything else that I love her unconditionally and irrevocably. I am so proud of her. She's a sweet and precious girl.

I can't wait to see how amazing her future years are.

Pee...pee...everywhere

Okay, not really. But some mornings feel that way.

Potty training is the most confusing, frustrating and nerve-wracking experience of my parenting life so far. I'm sure it'll get worse. Potty training is probably pretty small stuff compared to what we'll have to deal with during teenage years I'm sure.

It's not that potty training isn't going well. I think it is. Largely, Evie is accident-free. As long as I remember to take her to the potty regularly because when she's playing she tends to forget. We are still having an issue with #2. Which I totally don't get. But I'm not a toddler. She gets that she's supposed to pee in the potty and that peeing in her pull-up or panties is bad. She understands that pooping in the potty is good. But somehow she hasn't put together that she needs to poop in the potty instead of her pull-up. If she happens to be on the potty, she'll poop otherwise you'll be changing her.

It's also interesting that some mornings Evie can pee 10 times in an hour. Others she can go two hours without a dribble.

Potty training is just a really confusing sort of thing. I just really didn't realize how frustrating it would be. Because it's incredibly frustrating. Some days are perfect. Others, it's like Evie hit her head and doesn't remember any of this potty nonsense.

We're one month in. First pack of pull-ups (I think there were 56?) down. All in all, going well. But I wish it were over.

Potty Training

Well, it has begun.

Potty training.

And it is HORRIBLE.

Oh my gosh.

So, this weekend, Evie comes into the bathroom and insists on using the potty. I didn't ask her. I wasn't planning on starting it. She just strolls into the bathroom, points at the toilet and says "potty." Then she starts trying to pull down her pants. So I help her with her pants and diaper, put her little potty seat on the toilet and sit her down. She wants to sit there for about 30 minutes. Which is fine. This is her show after all. And finally! She poops and pees. Honestly, I think my jaw hit the floor. It took me a minute to even clap and cheer I was so shocked! So we get off, inspect her work. Cheer again. She flushes. Gets a snickers and then sits in the living room in her pull-ups, watching an episode of Dora on the iPad while she eats her treat.

I then commenced calling everyone.

So she ended up going potty successfully 3 times on Sunday. Three times! I was so excited! I was actually kind of bummed that it was bed time.

On Monday, we got up early because Sissy had her four month check-up at 8:30 a.m. Evie spent about half an hour sitting on the potty. She didn't want to leave the potty but unfortunately we had to go. So we met Ma and I passed off Evie and took Elly on to the doctor.

Long story short, I had to leave Evie at my mom's for the night because the shots made Elly feverish and sick. Elly got lots of snuggle time and I was hoping the one-baby situation at my mom's would make potty training more successful. I was wrong. Evie has gone two days without a single success. All we have to show is a lot of time spent watching her sit on the toilet, a lot of wet training pants and many more soaked pull-ups.

This is so frustrating! And no one has anything encouraging for me. So I feel so lost and aggravated. The only thing I can think of is Evie "gets" potty training at home but doesn't "get" it anywhere else yet. But I don't really know if that's true or not. And right now I have only 2 days a week that I can really focus on potty training and that doesn't seem consistent enough to really accomplish anything.

So any words of encouragement would be greatly appreciated.

This sucks.

Summer

I don't know what it is, if it's the summer time or just because my children are older or what but I'm tired. Maybe both.

I have always planned on being one of those parents that was active with my kids. I don't want them to remember their childhood as days spent laying on the couch watching TV or playing by themselves because their parents don't have time or whatever. I want to do THINGS. Whatever they may be. Board games, puzzles, movie night for when the weather is blah. But when the weather is nice I want us to be outside. I want to go to the park, the library, the zoo, local historical farms, local tourist spots, the playhouse, the pool, ANYWHERE. I want them to see as much of the world as I can show them. I don't think you have to travel all over the country and spend a small fortune on family vacations to get your kids an adventure. Kids can learn so much just from taking a walk down Main Street or going to the park or the library. You just have to take the time to teach them. Talk to them. Explain the world to them. That's what I want to do.

But anyways, our family adventures have left me exhausted and with absolutely no time for blogging. And I'm sorry. On top of that, work has been INSANE so that just adds to the exhaustion.

This is my eldest baby...swimming.

She actually swims. All by herself. It is amazing and wonderful and somehow really sad. The more she can do by herself the less she needs her Momma for. *sniffle* But it is so adorable!

She's such a good little swimmer!

And such a sweet big sister she has become! Watching them interact as Elly gets bigger is amazing. They have been siblings since Elly was born but they are really becoming sisters.

Look at her helping lil Sissy out! So sweet!

The zoo trip was a HUGE success. Elly was briefly happy, briefly fussy, then asleep for a few hours. Our biggest challenge was keeping Evie in the stroller. We would let her get out and walk until she started wandering off then we'd have to wrestle her back in the stroller. And of course we had to tackle the issue of Evie not really "getting" the whole zoo concept at first. We got into the zoo and we were in the little square with restaurants and gift shops and exhibits. And Evie loved it. But we wanted to go see the animals and she thought that meant we were leaving and threw a hellacious tantrum. Until we saw the giraffes. Then she was happy and excited and totally infatuated. But then we wanted to go see the lions. And she threw a hellacious tantrum. Which continued until we got to the chimpanzee exhibit about 10 minutes later with brief pauses when we saw the lemurs, looked for the wild pigs, listened to the lions roaring, etc. But the chimpanzee was right there at the glass.

It was so neat! Of course she threw another tantrum when we left the chimps. But soon after she began to understand the whole concept of leaving one animal to see another.

Then she relaxed and enjoyed the ride.

Her favorite was probably the polar bear. He was awesome, but aren't the polar bears always awesome? He wrestled a trash can lid, splashed in the water, yawned, swam. He was great. She threw another fit when it was time to leave his enclosure because we were all starving.

She enjoyed lunch. Though the price was ridiculous. And next time we will NOT be eating in the park. Lessons learned. Paying $3 for a bottle of water and $5 for a PB&J is ridiculous.

But still, it was a good trip. Considering its pretty much our family vacation this year we got off pretty cheap. We all had a good time. Got plenty of exercise and Evie and Elly took great naps. They both really love the souvenirs they acquired. So that's pretty much been my week.

By the way, this baby is 4 months old now. Holy. Crap. Blowing my mind how fast it goes with the second one. Hope everyone has a great weekend!

My mother's eldest child's oldest daughter

I am absolutely infatuated with this girl. Of course, as her mom I suppose that I am required to love her quite a bit. Her wild curly hair. Her perpetually scraped-up and band-aid covered knees above her bruised shins. Her crystal-clear-water-blue eyes. I love her. But sometimes she does things that I hope she won't grow out of when she's older and realizes how brave she is being.

Today I watched as she nonchalantly removed a large collection of spider webs from her playhouse and climbed up. She just swiped the webs, wiped them on the grass and went along playing. She ignored the half dozen spiders as they fled for their lives, she just plopped down on her slide and slid down. I marveled at the hundreds of women I know who would have screamed and shrieked as the small orb spiders scurried away.

I know as she gets older she will be told that as a girl she should be afraid of spiders. And there are plenty of reasons to be cautious with spiders (especially the potentially poisonous ones) but there's no reason she can't be a little diva and still be fearless.

It's just so neat to know that she doesn't have to grow up and be a total wuss about bugs. Like my serious phobia of camel crickets. Eek those things are sooooo creepy.

It's a wonderful life...

When I first found out I was pregnant with Elly, after the initial "Oh...my...God..." moments..or weeks, in all honesty, my biggest worry was little Evie. My poor sweet baby whose life would be forever altered and for whom there was no way to prepare. There was no way I could set her down and explain to her what was coming and how much all our lives would change and reassure that it in no way reflected any change in my feelings towards her. The silver lining to this black cloud was the hope that Evie would never remember life before her baby sister. And a desperate hope that since Evie couldn't remember a life before Elly, Evie wouldn't be able to imagine life without Elly.

We are not even six months in...heck, we aren't quite four months in, but I feel like in that sense at least, we have been successful.

Baby bunching is hard. Very hard. If you are considering doing this intentionally, I don't recommend it. Honestly. I'm sure in another year or two, the challenges of the first six months of Elly's life will have blurred in my mind and life will be so much better that I might be crazy enough to tell someone it was worth it. God, I pray that it IS worth it. But right now, even with things pretty much calmed down, I wish that Evie had been at least six months older before our family of three became four. I think just 6 more months would have made our lives unbelievably easier. I also don't think it would be nearly as hard if I weren't working full-time. But I am. So that's just something we have to deal with.

It doesn't help that Elly is a challenging baby. Even my mother who raised two children classifies Elly as a "difficult" infant. So it's not just me! But Evie doesn't know that her little sister cries too much and spits up too much and doesn't sleep enough. To Evie lil Sissy is an integral part of our daily lives. And it touches my soul to see how attached Evie is to Elly.

When Elly cries, Evie is immediately front and center wanting me to fix it. When Elly wakes up, Evie wants to touch her, pat her, kiss on her and talk to her. When Elly eats, Evie wants to watch, comments, fusses and makes suggestions. When we go outside, Evie insists Sissy comes and if Sissy is napping or otherwise occupied, Evie feels that she needs to check on the baby at regular intervals. If Evie thinks Elly needs a blanket, a bib, a toy or a pacifier, she rushes to meet that need. It is adorable.

When I have taken Evie places without Elly, Evie gets incredibly upset. She also worries if Sissy goes somewhere without her. Elly in turn watches Evie with rapt adoration. When Evie comes within a couple of feet of Elly, Elly kicks her feet and grins and coos excitedly. She is infatuated with her big sister and no matter what Evie does, she can do no wrong in Sissy's eyes. Even if Evie gets mad and hits her or throws things at her, Elly continues to smile up at her.

But I feel like we have all finally gotten into a good schedule and life is pretty stable. Elly has started playing with toys and sitting up by herself some. Since she's started on solids she has been spitting up less and sleeping more regularly. We've almost even gotten her on a napping schedule! Holy crap! Things are going well, and next week we are bravely taking the babies to the zoo.

'MATERS!!

I am so incredibly excited.

Why, you ask.

This is why...

Tomato plants. I'm very excited because I haven't had time or space to really grow a garden, although I've always wanted to. And although I still don't have time or space for a full blown garden, tomato plants are fairly easy to grow in big pots on the porch. So that is what I will do!

This year I will do a few tomato plants.I have six currently, 2 beef steak and 4 ruetgers. But I'm going to give my mom half of them to supplement her garden. I'm just going to grow 3. If the tomato plants go well this summer, next summer I would like to add maybe some pepper plants and some cucumber plants to my potted porch garden. I love growing things and find it incredibly rewarding to exercise my green thumb.

I'd like some additional ideas for plants I might could grow in pots next year if this year's operation goes well. So if you have any suggestions, please comment! Maybe in a couple of years my children won't be quite so difficult and I can till up a spot and have some strawberries, corn and asparagus. Because I absolutely LOVE those foods. I also love green beans and sweet peas, but I have a pretty small, hilly yard. The places that get good full sun are really limited.

And there's just something adorable about baby plants. How silly am I? But I think they're cute. I'm attached to them. I don't want any harm to befall them. I hope they grow up big and strong and do great things with their lives. I guess once a mom always a mom. Even if that child is small, green and leafy.

I went down to the basement this morning and found two good sized pots. Partially filled them with some of my peat moss potting soil that I had. Tomorrow I've got a big Walmart trip planned so I'm going to pick up one more pot and some Miracle Gro potting soil. The variety with the plant food and the moisture retention. Then tomorrow afternoon I'm going to be planting some maters.

I know it's silly to be so excited. But I can't help it. It's the little things in life that I derive great pleasure from. Reading a good book. Planting some flowers. Growing tomatoes. As a result, I tend to be a pretty happy person.

Emily was a little puzzled by my dragging pots out to the deck and digging around in the dirt part of the morning. She gets fussed at for that sort of activity...dragging things onto the porch...digging in the dirt. Nonetheless, I can tell she's excited about 'maters too. Evie is super excited about the playing in the dirt part. I had to shoo her away several times this morning because I didn't want to have to deal with giving her a bath before work. Tomorrow, when the real planting occurs she will get to help.

I'm also going to be picking up some nice flowers and making a couple of decorative pots to sit around on the deck. And I might even go by Lowes and get some paint for the deck. Because yet again my stupid deck needs painting. Once we get it painted this year though, we're putting a gate up and keeping the dogs out. Their little toenails and wild games are hard on the already weary wood. Plus, once we get a lockable gate up, I can take the babies onto the deck to play without having to constantly yell at Evie to get her little booty back up the steps. Hopefully in a couple more weeks my deck will be a fabulous place to enjoy some time outside. Tomato plants, flowers, and fresh paint. Ahhhh.

Evie and the Heifers

I just realized that I still haven't blogged about this and I'm kinda annoyed with myself since I have been drawing blanks most days on blog ideas. And all this time I had this one, with cute pictures to boot, and didn't even realize I hadn't already written it! What does that say about my state of mind? That I really thought I had already written this post? Probably bad things. I blame sleep deprivation. Babies do that to ya.

So, anyways, on Mother's Day we went to my grandmother's house. It was truly the highlight of my day. Well, my grandmother's house and the fantabulous brie and bacon quiche that I made for breakfast that morning.

My grandparents live near the Blue Ridge Parkway in the Appalachian Mountains. In case you don't live around here, is pronounced "Apple-latch-an" not "apple-lay-shan." I grew up there. And no one in the Appalachian mountains prounouces it like you outsiders do. So stop. You are driving me crazy. My grandparents and great grandparents lived on the family land my entire life and quite a bit before that. Unfortunately my great grandparents passed away when I was in college and my grandmother sold their house but the land is all still in the family. On that land my family has pretty much always had cattle. Beef cattle in fact.

My uncle owns the cattle these days. He and his wife make the daily rounds feeding and checking the cows, heifers, and calves. The solitary Angus bull lives in a small pasture by himself near their home when he's not in with the cows doing his job. The cows and calves are spread across different pastures depending on the time of year and what's going on with them. My uncle doesn't just sell steers and heifers for beef anymore. These days you make more money as a small family operated farm by selling heifers to big farmers for breeding. Or so I'm told. So my uncle and aunt spend a lot of time artificially inseminating heifer with sperm from award-winning bloodline bulls from around the country. Then raising those calves to sell to big farmers.

My uncle has mostly Angus blood in his herds now. But there are still some white faced calves with Hereford blood. The white-faced calves are my favorite. I personally love Herefords, the red cows with white faces, but Black Baldies, black cows with white faces (acheived by breeding Angus and Herefords), are pretty adorable too. My great grandfather had a few Brahman cattle in his herd. I remember those cows quite clearly because they were incredibly mean for some reason. Brahman look very exotic with their hump at their shoulders. The bull he had when I was little was incredibly huge. My second cousin inherited those cattle from Pa Booker, and as far as I know several of the cows still have some Brahman heritage. I don't know if they are any more docile these days or not.

(**Note: Heifer are females that have never had calves. Cows are females. Bulls are males. Calves are babies. Steers are bulls that have been castrated. Just to catch you up on the terminology...**)

I grew up around livestock. I have never thought much about the process of feeding cattle or taking care of farm business because I grew up with it. I learned that day that not everyone has such experience. My step dad and husband were somewhat in awe watching the cows trot across the pasture when they heard my uncle's truck crank. Cattle recognize the sound of the vehicle that feeds them, be it a truck, tractor, or whatever, and when they hear that bad boy coming...they come running. Andreas and Josh have never spent any time on a farm (City boys...lol) and just marvelled at that. The whole experience for them seemed pretty impressive. It was a little funny to me. I can't imagine not knowing all these things about farm life.

Of course Evie had an excuse. For one, she's not even two. And she hasn't spent any time yet on a farm. For another, she loves all animals and cows to her seem like big dogs. She stood at the fence and mooed at the cows. Laughing and talking to them. She put her hand through the fence and beckoned to the cows. Of course, they were super freaked out by these little person shrieking and mooing at them and huddled together a safe distance away to observe her.

Once they were fed they pretty much paid us zero mind. No matter what Evie did. But she was still pretty happy with the experience. Even if she didn't get to pet a cow like she wanted to. She stood at the fence and mooed and shrieked and waved. Happy as could be.

It was really neat to watch Evie savoring her farm experience. That is definitely one of my favorite parts of having kids...one of many of course. But watching them experience new things and seeing their reactions and how they learn and grow. It's just amazing.

Even if it is just spending 20 minutes watching my aunt and uncle feed some heifers. It was a great time.

The ABSOLUTE GREATEST gift...(aside from my kids, of course...)

Yes, that's right. I know I've been slacking on my blog lately but I have a really good excuse. Okay...its mostly just an excuse. Actually the end of last week, Blogger was down and I couldn't blog even though I had several good blog ideas during that time that of course I can no longer remember. But on Thursday evening my Mother's Day present finally arrived. And since then I've been dedicating all my spare time to it.

So, what did I get you ask...

*drum rolls*

An iPad 2!

(Please disregard my seriously chipped purple finger nail polish)

I have wanted an iPad since they came out. At first it was just a "hey, those would be neat to have" sort of want. But as the apps have improved and developers have created better and better ways to utilize the iPad's unique capabilities, my desire for one has increased 10-fold. By the time the iPad 2 came out this past March I felt like I absolutely had to have one and began trying to con my husband into getting me one convince my husband I needed one.

Finally I found a reason for him to get me one...

Educational apps...

No joke. There are tons of them. And not just crappy flash cards with the alphabet on them. But really neat applications that can entertain your kid while also helping them learn colors, shapes, alphabet, math, etc. I'm not talking about handing my two-year an iPad and telling her to go play, reducing our interacting and adding to her total screen time. But instead using the iPad to replace some of her existing television or movie time. Using the iPad creatively to draw and play and learn and not just sending her off by herself, but using the devise together as a way to help me TEACH her. How cool, huh?

So, as a collective family present to me, I finally got an iPad. Granted, I won't be receiving any more gifts until Christmas (or so my husband says...haha) but I have my iPad.

Hooray!!

Now I've loaded it up with books for me and Evie, a couple of games for me, of course Netflix and HBO and Facebook, and some educational games for Evie. Honestly, the games for Evie are pretty fun. Even if it is kindergarten and preschool level addition and subtraction or matching games. They're fun! I even got a game for Josh...in case I ever let him play it.

It's amazing watching Evie use the iPad. It's so impressive to see her immediately "get" how it works and poke the animals to make them talk or pull the string to turn of the lights or whatever. I know the device is supposed to be easy to use and intuitive, but seeing a 21 month old use it is still pretty incredible.

The only downside is that I am a little obsessed. I do most of my internet surfing on the iPad now. Even though I have a laptop at home, just because the iPad makes it more fun and more intuitive. Same for Facebook and email. Now I'm even more excited about my cellphone contract being up for renewal in November since Verizon finally has the iPhone (and the white one has been released!) so I can get some of the App Store apps I love on my phone. The iPad is super portable but I hate taking it with me EVERYwhere because it is big and expensive and not made to be as durable as a cell phone. And now that I've experienced the super awesomeness of iOS, I really hate my Droid with its lame Android OS. I mean, I hated it before. But now I really hate it. And it's less personal issue and more legitimate complaint now. The Droid seems so ugly and dark compared to the Apple devices. Ugh.

So I'm an Apple convert. Living an iTunes and App Store life.

But I'm a happy convert!

What's wrong with pink?

Yesterday I was casually perusing my usual mom blogs and came across a review for a book about how to raise girls in today's society. The title of the book is Cinderella Ate My Daughter by Peggy Orenstein and it is all about how to protect your daughter from today's "girlie-girl" culture. From the review I gathered that the book is about protecting our daughters from the Disney princesses, Hannah Montana and everything pink and girly.

Okay, that's not a completely fair analysis but that's kinda the main gist.

I'm incredibly offended.

What the heck is wrong with princesses and fairy tales and pink and tiaras?

I loved Ariel and Cinderella and Snow White when I was a little girl and I still spent a large part of my childhood playing in mud and riding horses. Wasn't really interested in dating until I was in high school. I was never a girly-girl despite my love of fairy tales and princesses. The author mentions that focused marketing to young girls goes all the way back to Shirley Temple, who I was obsessed with, and that Barbie, dolls and all things "girl" brainwash our kids into being oversexualized, underachieving bimbos. Good grief! Can we, as parents, please stop blaming society for EVERYTHING and try taking some responsibility?

While I agree that 8 year-olds don't need to be getting their belly button pierced and dating, I don't think that being a fan of Beauty & the Beast is going to make that happen. I've seen that there is a lot of social pressure for girls these days to act and dress much older than they are. But it's not up to society to determine how your child dresses. It's up to you!

No matter how much pink and crinoline and perfume your child wears, it's up to you to teach them the values that you want them to be instilled with. If you want them to dress like hussies, then let them dress like hussies. If you don't want them to look like floozies, then you shouldn't let them out of the house showing more skin than an R-rated movie.

A girl can be girly without being a slut. You can like Barbies and baby dolls and dress up and still enjoy going outside and playing kickball or building a dam out of mud in the creek. I managed it. And I know when I was a little girl we didn't have Miley Cyrus and Lindsey Lohan or Bratz dolls or heck, even cell phones. But just because society has changed doesn't mean that our kids have to grow up as little hellions. Just because there are cell phones that let them access everything from Facebook to HBO to porn doesn't mean we have to buy them one or let them use ours. They don't need a television in their room or their own computer unless they are trusted with it and unless you have some sort of final say as to what's on it. We don't have to advertise how well off we were by buying them the latest and greatest in technology or spending $300 on a pair of shoes that they'll only get to wear a year. It's not necessary and it's frivolous and look where unnecessary and frivolous spending has gotten us. Into a national recession that we ought to be ashamed of, because when it comes right down to it, we allowed it to happen. The government's spending has followed our own.

Rather than worrying about whether or not our daughter's are fans of the Disney Princesses we should be more concerned about raising healthy, happy girls who have good morals and good self-esteem. Girls who know that their worth is not tied to what they wear or how expensive their clothes are or how much people like them. Girls who enjoy planting flowers or riding a bike as much as they enjoy playing dress up and having a tea party. That's the kind of girls I want my kids to be.

Yes, I like to buy my kids nice things as much as anyone else. But I don't think I have gone overboard or done it to an extreme degree. Yes, they wear a lot of name brand clothes. But they also wear hand-me-downs and consignment clothes and stuff from Walmart. They don't get everything they want. They have a plethora of toys, but a lot of them were given to us by friends and family, and they don't have everything out there.

While my youngest daughter isn't yet old enough to really have an opinion, Miss Evie is totally a girly girl. Her favorite colors are pink and purple. She loves to paint her nails, put bows in her hair, play dress up and totter around in Mommy's high heels. Evie also loves playing in the sandbox, driving her four-wheeler, chasing the dogs around and getting dirty. She's a pretty good balance I think.

And I plan on doing all I can to continue that balance for both Evie and her sister, if Elly turns out girly as well. We will continue to buy and watch Disney princess movies.

I understand that how my children grow up is largely my responsibility. Of course, they will do what they want but unless I instill in them the ability to make the right choices they will probably be able to make nothing but the wrong ones. Teaching them right from wrong, values, nurturing their self-worth and self-esteem...those are not society's responsibilities. And while I know that society can have a tremendous impact on my children, I don't feel that eliminating all things princess will shield them. Besides, princesses, "real" princesses at least, can teach girls good lessons. They can teach propriety, manners, poise, dignity, grace, charity...think about Snow White and Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty.

I worry a lot about doing the right thing and raising my girls "right" but I will not be worrying about whether or not the Little Mermaid is teaching them the wrong values or whether or not they're wearing too much pink.

Mother's Day 2011

 Well, it has come and gone.

Thank. God.

Halfway through Sunday, Josh asked Evie to stop whining at Mommy because it was MY day and I told him no it wasn't. I didn't want it.

Sunday was awful. Not because it was Mother's Day. It was just a horrible day. And the fact that it was Mother's Day and therefore supposed to be a good day for me was just salt in the wound. A lot of salt.

Evie was in the absolute worst mood I have seen her in ever. She started by waking up early, then demanding her pacifier. Which of course she gave up last week and I had to deny her. So the rest of the morning was one continuous tantrum. Evie was throwing things, hitting her sister, climbing onto the kitchen table, trying to climb the entertainment center, climbing on the back of the couch, slamming doors, screaming, wailing, whining, flailing, tearing books...okay, you probably get the idea. If you have a toddler, this scene may be familiar.

Needless to say, I spent the morning wondering how awful of parent I was for my child to act this way. I put her in time out. I told her no. I gave her other things to do. I ignored her. I spanked her. I yelled at her. I cried. And I cried. And I cried. I just didn't know what to do. Nothing worked!

I have been told and I have read that toddlers test boundaries. And that the terrible two's and terrible three's are all about testing boundaries over and over and over. Well, Sunday was a marathon run of testing those boundaries. Josh got up around 10 a.m. (he had to work late Saturday night and didn't get home til after 2 a.m.) and that was when I finally got to eat my breakfast.

All I wanted to eat was a brie and bacon quiche and I was able to make it in the midst of the screaming and thrashing but two hours later I still hadn't gotten to eat it. So in tears, I ate my quiche. It was delicious. Super delicious. And I got to drink my coffee. Which, while also cold, was no worse for the microwaving and was scrumptious as well. I felt a little better after breakfast, but it was short-lived because I had to make brownie cupcakes and icing for the Mother's Day lunch at my grandparents and get myself and the babies dressed.

Elly, bless her heart, mostly slept through the whole disastrous morning.

The interlude of driving, lunch, watching cows with Evie and driving back was a little refreshing. But we got home, Josh left for work, and the tantrum resumed. I finally got Evie down for a nap and Elly spent most of that time eating or fussing because she couldn't decide if she was full or not. So no quiet time for me.

Then Evie was up and it was supper time and time to get ready for bed. That involved more screaming and crying and throwing things. More time outs and spankings. We did a conference call with my in-laws since my father-in-law hasn't seen the grandbabies in awhile. That actually went fairly well. But it didn't last. As soon as the video chat was over the tantrum resumed and I was so happy that it was bed time. Of course, Elly refused to go to sleep til nearly 11:30. So it was midnight before I got to bed. I was so tired that I literally hurt all over.

Really, it was an awful, awful day. But even in the middle of the screaming and crying, I squeezed Elly (Evie was sitting in time out at the time) and thought how grateful I was to be blessed with two beautiful and healthy baby girls. I thought of all the women who weren't able to have children or whose circumstances just hadn't allowed babies and thanked God for the screaming and spit-up and tears. Because while some days the bad times outnumber the good, when you take in the overall, my girls are way worth the bad days. The good times, the times when Evie brings me a dandelion she picked or Elly tries to say "momma," those little things are just the most incredibly wonderful things. I simply love them!

But Sunday was still awful.

And my present, while super-duper unbelievably awesome, still isn't here. It's supposed to be here on Thursday, according to the FedEx shipment tracker. It's in Anchorage, Alaska now.

Man I wish it were Thursday!

I hope everyone else had a much better Mother's Day than I did.

Ding Dong the Paci's gone!

Well, sorta.

After my last couple of blogs on this issue and the comments and feedback I received I came to a very big decision.

It. Was. Time.

Although nearly everyone felt that waiting until she was two wasn't really a big deal I just felt like I needed to do it now.

So Wednesday morning, I asked Evie to come sit down on the couch and talk to me. Being a toddler, she gets a kick out of climbing and rushed to climb up onto the couch and plop down beside me.

I asked her if she was ready to be a big girl. "Yeah!"

Would you be willing to give all your pacis to your Sissy? Thoughtful pause. "Umm..."

What about if you got to pick out a new toy? "Yeah!"

Okay, so you'll give all your pacis to your sister for a new toy? "Umm,...yeah..."

Okay, well, let's ask Daddy what he thinks. "Yeah!"

Daddy thought that bribing Evie with a toy was a less than frugal idea. Especially since I would be the one going with her to choose a toy. And I do have a tendency to over indulge! But he thought it was a good idea. And with her dad's support Evie decided to that she would give her pacifiers to her sister and be a big girl.

She was super excited about going to Walmart and picking out a new toy. We spent 30 minutes just going up and down the toy aisles and looking at things. Evie is terrible at making decisions because she's only a toddler. And I'm terrible at making little decisions because...well, I just always have been. Needless to say I had to call Mimi twice for her opinion and it took us nearly an hour to pick out a toy.

I decided she would be better off with some sort of lovey item that she could replace the pacifier with. Something she could hug and love on. Something comforting.

 She picked out a fru-fru dog in a purse. I was not at all surprised because it has so many components that she loves!

First, a purple purse, with straps to go over her shoulder. She loves purses and purple seems to be her favorite color. And of course a soft fuzzy dog to stuff in the purse and carry wherever she goes.

It also has a cute little leash so she can drag it around behind her wherever she goes. She really loves putting the leashes on real dogs and dragging them around. The stuffed dog doesn't seem to mind as much as they do though. And the dog has a cape-type outfit that it wears. It is easy to take on and off, though Evie seems to want Mushu to wear it. Which of course he is firmly against.

And maybe some pieces she can chew on...when she really misses that pacifier.

All in all she is super happy with her purchase. However, when we got home and actually gave Sissy one of Evie's old pacis Evie cried. I had to set down with her and remind her she was a big girl and didn't need the pacifier. That the pacifier was for babies and she was a big girl now. And of course that she got this awesome new toy. I still got a little teared up at her pitiful pleas of "Momma..." and pointing at her pacifier in her sister's mouth while tears streamed down her face. And her pitiful nods and agreements as she tried to come to terms with what may be her first mature decision.

I bit back my own urge to cry and hugged Evie while she watched Elly suck away on what had been one of her most prized possessions. When she calmed down and wiped away her tears, Evie was initially mad at Sissy for so obviously enjoying what Evie could no longer have and completely ignored her. But before it was time to go to Mimi's for the day, Evie hugged Sissy and gave her a big kiss accented with a "Muah!"

We have survived almost 36 hours now with no pacifier. I'm excited. And I was loving all the talking Evie was doing this morning and the fact that Evie paid Sissy's pacifier absolutely no attention when she dropped it. Evie has been a little slow to get to sleep for naps the last two days but dozed off without a problem last night. Evie hasn't asked for a pacifier once so I feel like she's accepted this and maybe we won't hear anything else about it. She's been far more mature about the entire thing than I expected.

Our next big girl move? Potty training. But that one I'm perfectly content waiting til after she's two to deal with. I am so not ready for potty training!