When I first found out I was pregnant with Elly, after the initial "Oh...my...God..." moments..or weeks, in all honesty, my biggest worry was little Evie. My poor sweet baby whose life would be forever altered and for whom there was no way to prepare. There was no way I could set her down and explain to her what was coming and how much all our lives would change and reassure that it in no way reflected any change in my feelings towards her. The silver lining to this black cloud was the hope that Evie would never remember life before her baby sister. And a desperate hope that since Evie couldn't remember a life before Elly, Evie wouldn't be able to imagine life without Elly.
We are not even six months in...heck, we aren't quite four months in, but I feel like in that sense at least, we have been successful.
Baby bunching is hard. Very hard. If you are considering doing this intentionally, I don't recommend it. Honestly. I'm sure in another year or two, the challenges of the first six months of Elly's life will have blurred in my mind and life will be so much better that I might be crazy enough to tell someone it was worth it. God, I pray that it IS worth it. But right now, even with things pretty much calmed down, I wish that Evie had been at least six months older before our family of three became four. I think just 6 more months would have made our lives unbelievably easier. I also don't think it would be nearly as hard if I weren't working full-time. But I am. So that's just something we have to deal with.
It doesn't help that Elly is a challenging baby. Even my mother who raised two children classifies Elly as a "difficult" infant. So it's not just me! But Evie doesn't know that her little sister cries too much and spits up too much and doesn't sleep enough. To Evie lil Sissy is an integral part of our daily lives. And it touches my soul to see how attached Evie is to Elly.
When Elly cries, Evie is immediately front and center wanting me to fix it. When Elly wakes up, Evie wants to touch her, pat her, kiss on her and talk to her. When Elly eats, Evie wants to watch, comments, fusses and makes suggestions. When we go outside, Evie insists Sissy comes and if Sissy is napping or otherwise occupied, Evie feels that she needs to check on the baby at regular intervals. If Evie thinks Elly needs a blanket, a bib, a toy or a pacifier, she rushes to meet that need. It is adorable.
When I have taken Evie places without Elly, Evie gets incredibly upset. She also worries if Sissy goes somewhere without her. Elly in turn watches Evie with rapt adoration. When Evie comes within a couple of feet of Elly, Elly kicks her feet and grins and coos excitedly. She is infatuated with her big sister and no matter what Evie does, she can do no wrong in Sissy's eyes. Even if Evie gets mad and hits her or throws things at her, Elly continues to smile up at her.
But I feel like we have all finally gotten into a good schedule and life is pretty stable. Elly has started playing with toys and sitting up by herself some. Since she's started on solids she has been spitting up less and sleeping more regularly. We've almost even gotten her on a napping schedule! Holy crap! Things are going well, and next week we are bravely taking the babies to the zoo.
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