New phase of terrible twos

So, when you hear people discussing the terrible twos, they all tell you about the tantrums. The arguing and the “no’s” and the horrifying outbursts in public places.

Everyone failed to tell me about the whining.

I think they must have just subconsciously blocked it from their minds. Because when you ask a fellow, more seasoned parent, about this horrific whining phase…a look of shock seems to cross their face, followed by a panicked memory, and completed by a look of shared misery. Ah yes. They remember the whining. It seems that girls may be worse than boys for the whining. While boys are worse for the public outbursts. And boys seem to have cornered the market on deliberate destruction. Because despite my two in terrible twos, minus one disgusting fish food experience, there hasn’t been a lot of destruction. Deliberate or otherwise.

Not to say my girls don’t tear stuff up. But they’ve never given an iPod a bath. Nor have they colored the walls or rubbed play-doh into the carpet. You give them a magazine and the go ahead and they’ll give you back confetti in less than 10 minutes. Heck, let them accidentally get ahold of a magazine without immediately shrieking no and seizing it and you’ll have confetti in 15 minutes. It takes them a little longer to shred a magazine quietly.

And there have been two hurricane glass fatalities. One of which was caused by my husband. And several chewed up crayons. A few ripped books with chewed corners. All in all, three years with pretty minimal loss.

But the whining.

Holy cow.

I’d rather hear nails on a chalk board for an hour straight instead of 10 minutes of a two year old whining. It is HORRIBLE.

I’ve tried ignoring it. Whining back. Ignoring it some more. Asking her to stop. Yelling at her to stop. Leaving the room. Leaving the house.

Nothing really seems to work.

So, really. What’s up with the whining? The worst part is that my typically happy-go-lucky Elly seems to be affected by her sister’s whining and usually follows suit with crankiness of her own.

There have been some changes for Evie lately. She is beginning to transition out of napping, going from a 3 hour siesta to a mere 45-90 minutes if anything. This has meant a slightly earlier bed time and a slightly later wake up call. Which I have enjoyed. But it has also meant more entertaining of the toddler. Most days this isn’t a problem for me. I just put her to work. Last weekend we cleaned out the basement and the week before she helped me get all the outside toys out of the building. But some days I just really REALLY need a break. And Evie won’t let me have it.

And when I’ve had no break and there is a lot of non-stop whining…well, it can lead to a stressful evening in the Dowd household.

So, why does she whine? Your guess is as good as mine. Maybe just practicing a new form of communication? Dealing with growth and changes? I don’t know.

But how do we deal with the whining? Just stick it out and hope she outgrows it?

Pointers please?

I'm afraid I'm losing my mind

It probably happened about 20 months ago when I found out I was pregnant the second time. But what little sanity I still had left I'm afraid is rapidly fleeing. Why for, you ask?

Well, this weekend, we will be bringing Evie and Elly's new puppy home. Little Maiko, as we're naming her, is 6 weeks old this Thursday. She'll be going to get her shots then and Friday night she'll be coming home with us. So this will be a busy weekend I'm sure.

I'm also strongly considering litter box training this puppy. No. Really.

This is going to be a small dog. Right now she weighs less than 2 lbs. I'm hoping she grows minimally and stays tiny. But she'll probably max at around 10 lbs. Maybe 12 if she gets big.

So, you're probably thinking "what the...?" right. I know. It seems more than a little perverse to litter box train a dog. I mean, that's a cat thing after all. And it's kinda icky. I mean, it is an animal pooping and peeing in your house. Even if it is in a dedicated, odor-eliminating sort of area.

But there are a lot of great reasons to litter box train a puppy. And apparently it can be done.

Here are some sites detailing it:

http://kturby.com/litter/litter.htm

http://www.wikihow.com/Litter-Train-a-Dog

http://isabellasnow.hubpages.com/hub/How-to-Litter-Box-Train-Your-Puppy

http://tracy-rose.suite101.com/litter-train-your-puppy-a16448

This will not mean our puppy will not be going outside. I hope that she is well behaved and will go outside with us and hang around and play in the yard. I'd like for her to learn to go outside and use the potty once she's bigger. But this just seems like a brilliant notion!

First off, as a tiny dog, taking them outside to potty when they are a puppy seems a bit ridiculous. I mean, this dog isn't even tall enough to see through the grass! She's teensy. How overwhelming is it going to be to drop this lil thing out in the grass? Then I expect her to relax and go potty? I have house broken NUMEROUS dogs. This is an exercise in frustrating. You take the puppy outside and you stand around waiting. And waiting. And waiting. And nothing happens. So you finally go inside and the moment you set them down they pee in the floor. Outside it was big and scary. But inside is warm and familiar and cozy. I certainly don't like to pop a squat out in the middle of a big field where who knows what might be. So I don't know why I expect the dog to be different. Heck, we coddle and cozen to our children when potty training them. But expect a house dog to be so much different!

Next, as a small dog she will have a small bladder. Like, needs to pee every couple of hours (once she's grown and able to hold it!) kinda bladder. So, trips to Walmart, car rides, etc all have to be catered to this need. It's a constant problem with Mushu. He can hold it only so long. So if we're gone too long and he's left inside then we risk him having an accident. And if we leave him outside we risk something happening to him. I mean, the lil man weighs 9 lbs. A hawk could scoop him up if it was determined. So litter box training would mean if we wanted to go out to supper or a movie or something we could without worrying about the dog messing in the floor.

Also, having a dog with two toddlers is going to be a challenge. One that I fully understood and was prepared for when I committed to take this poor homeless mongrel into our home. (haha! Like my arm was twisted!) But doing litter training would make the whole thing much simpler. I wouldn't have to worry about leaving my girls to take the puppy out. It might help reduce some of our accidents. And from some of the blogs and what not I have read, it seems like it will be pretty easy to do. Easier than house breaking one to go potty outside. So maybe it will make the whole process less stressful.

Am I crazy? Yeah. Probably. Now that I've been convinced I need to talk my husband into it. Then I need to fix something up to use as a puppy litter box. But I've already got some ideas.

I think I might actually be more excited about the girls' new puppy than they are! haha.

Happy Monday every one!

Christmas Recap

Okay, so Christmas was at least as good as I had hoped it would be. And probably a bit better.

Hmm. Yeah. Definitely better.

Christmas Eve was hectic at the beginning. Trying to get little people up and dressed while getting myself showered and dressed and at least resembling presentable. And meanwhile getting my husband up (he had worked late the night before) and getting him motivated to get himself showered and dressed. Let me tell you, it was hectic. Very hectic.

Finally sent the hubby and Evie on ahead of me and Elly. I had discovered that we were out of creamer the day before so someone needed to go by Walmart and since they were ready and Evie was anxious to get out of the house, poor Josh braved the Christmas Eve insanity. Evie, as usual, was UBER excited to be going to Walmart. She probably loved it more since it was jam packed with people.

Thirty minutes AFTER I was supposed to have left the house, Elly and I finally were loaded and in the car. Have you ever done your make up with a 10 month old on one hip trying to wrestle concealer, eye liner, mascara, toothbrush, etc. from your hands? The only thing that would distract her was my Christmas ornament earrings. Which she ripped from my ears multiple times. But if I sat her down she was crying and wailing and pulling on my pants leg. It was easier on my blood pressure to just deal with her on my hip.

So, finally in the car, finally on the way to my mom's house. We were supposed to do presents for the girls so Josh could participate and then we would have lunch. Josh had to be at work at noon. Which kinda stank. But the upside was he would be home before bedtime. So he could participate in the Christmas Eve bed time festivities.

Better late than never, we all arrived at my mom's house. Family was greeted and the girls quickly dove into opening presents. Evie was zealous. Perhaps overly so. Since she started trying to take other people's presents away and a couple of us had to be very firm with our "no." She was good at helping Elly with her presents. Though Elly was happier wrestling discarded paper and empty packaging than actually opening the rest of her stuff.

The girls got a lot of great stuff and us grown ups got some goodies as well. Josh said his goodbyes and the rest of the family sat down for lunch. Elly was entertaining. She makes eating a full-sensory experience. Like, rubbing it over her arms, sniffing it, kneading it, dropping it, brushing it into her hair, etc. as well as eating it. Evie wasn't able to sit still long enough to eat but she had some drive-by bites of ham, mashed potatoes and rolls.

After lunch was more play time for the little people. Extended family left and not long after the girls and I headed home. Getting both of them to wind down and take a nap was difficult. Very difficult. Involving some yelling and screaming and crying on the part of both parent and toddler. Finally, all little people were snoozing and I was too exhausted to do much. The holidays can really take it out of ya! But I managed to get the house cleaned back up and most of the toys and things put away. Prepared myself for round two with the girls.

After supper and playtime and baths, we put on Christmas pjs and watched all of our animated Christmas movies. The Grinch, Rudolph, Santa, Frosty and more. They were stoked when their Daddy came home and we read all the Christmas books we could find. We sat out cookies and milk for Santa, put Santa's magic key outside and Evie told Bernard (our elf) goodbye and off to bed they went.

I know in future years I will probably have to go to bed and get back up later, but for now we're safe putting Santa stuff out before we go to bed. So we brought the girls' big presents up, rearranged presents under the tree, filled their stockings and placed their Santa gifts at their doors. Then we headed to bed.

The next morning, I was the first person to wake up. I woke up a little after 7 and after lying in the bed for a little while I went ahead and got up and put cinnamon rolls in the oven. I got coffee ready and got my robe on and made sure everything was ready for breakfast. Then I went back to bed. At about a quarter til 8, Elly woke up and went and got her and brought her to bed with me. A short while later I heard Evie opening her door and jumped up to see her reaction to her stocking and her presents at her door.

At first she just stood there gaping. Then she leaned around the corner to make eye contact with me, a puzzled look on her face. I explained that was what Santa brought her and her face just lit up! She brought her present into the bed room and I got her stocking down for her. She tore into the wrapping paper and when she saw what it was her mouth just DROPPED. She was so surprised! Simply couldn't believe it!

There was the doll she had pined for!

It was Rapunzel!

Evie didn't even know what to think.

Then she was ecstatic!

"My Rapunzel doll!"

Let me tell you. It was totally worth all the aggravation of trying to get that doll.

Then she wanted to open Elly's present, but we stopped her. Not that Elly would have minded.

The girls then got everything out of their stockings. Once Elly found goldfish she was happy. But Santa gave them each a dinosaur, some books, a movie, a couple of balls, some candy, some clothes, goldfish, and some others things. Like nail polish and bath salts.

After breakfast we let them open the rest of their gifts. It was a lot of fun. Elly of course was happy after the first toy and just wanted to be left alone to play with paper and boxes. Evie on the other hand wanted to take presents away from everyone else.

All in all it was a great day! We had a lot of fun. The girls absolutely loved it. Best Christmas yet!

Forever the "Two Under Two Zoo"

A friend asked me if I would still consider myself a "two under two" zoo once my two were no longer under two.

And it's a really good question. Technically I'm already past "two under two" at least in the most literal sense. Because Evie is no longer "under" two. She's two and a hand full of months. But you can still squeeze it in, since she's not yet three. But it won't be long til she's celebrating another birthday. I know this because it was only yesterday that I celebrated her first birthday. And only last week I held her in my arms for the very first time.

Holy cow. Three years ago at this time was when I got up REALLY early, because I couldn't sleep, and peed on a stick. Then in shock and disbelief drank a ton of water and peed on another stick. Then I went and laid in bed next to my husband feeling like the entire world had just shifted and gravity was no longer working right and everything I had ever known had changed. And it had. Because both of those pregnancy tests had a plus sign. And little Evie was growing away in my belly. It's still wild to think about. I spent a LOT of time standing in front of the mirror, staring at my perfect and flat tummy and just being in awe that a teensy person was growing in there. I miss that unflawed tummy! The one without stretch marks or extra skin. I wonder if I still have a picture floating around somewhere of that tummy? Maybe I can find one and have it framed. Cause I don't think I will ever see it again.

Yep. I miss that tummy. I'm skinnier now, but it doesn't look the same. But I digress...

So, will I still be a "two under two zoo" in another 8 months when one of my babies becomes a three-year-old?

I think so. More than the age of my children I feel like "two under two" kinda encompasses my life for the next decade or so. It's a way of life. A parenting style that is totally different from having children spaced out a few years.

Having two children less than 18 months apart changes your life. It does. Multitasking becomes second nature. Frazzled and rushed becomes a norm. You learn to let a LOT of the unnecessary things go. Laundry stacks up. And baby stuff, from toys to clothes to burp cloths, is in every room. You get by on much less sleep than you would have ever imagined. You learn to eat other people's leftovers, since you don't always have time to fix your own plate and let's face it, two-year-olds don't really eat anyways. You begin to dream about the day when you will actually get to pee in solitude without listening to a little person have a nervous breakdown outside the door. You find yourself announcing to a room of adults that "Mommy needs to go potty. I'll be right back," and then getting lots of sneers and giggles before you realize what you've done. Part of it is just the life of a parent. But for those of us with two under two, it's our lives for several years. Not just until one child is walking, talking and no longer in diapers but until a second child passes all those milestones as well. And everything we go through will be back to back. Two years of terrible twos. Two years of potty training. Two years of terrible threes. Two years of babies going off to school for the first time. Two years of babies learning to read, to write, to drive. Two years of girls becoming teens. Two years of daughters going off to college. It will all be back to back for us.

So yeah. I think my house will always be a two under two zoo. Even when they're 6 and 7 instead of 1 and 2. Or 13 and 14. Actually, maybe even more a zoo by then. Eesh.

Teething and the Terrible Twos

No one told me that teething during the two's was about three hundred times worse than during infancy.

Of course, no one else has to deal with Evie. She takes "no pain tolerance" to a whole different level.

This has been a tough week. After going to visit my in-laws this weekend, we discovered that both girls are teething. Elly has at least four teeth coming in and Evie is apparently cutting some new molars. Oh. Joy.

Evie, despite her daredevil attitude, has absolutely no ability to tolerate pain. The least little bump or scrape and she has a meltdown. And yeah, part of that is being two. And part of that is just who she is. So all week every couple of minutes she breaks down into tears and hysterics and screams "Teeth hurt! Evie's teeth hurt!" She will wail for a minute or two and then stop and resume her normal activities. Well, Sunday and Monday nights she woke up every hour or so through the night screaming and crying about her teeth. Of course, this woke me up.

Elly also woke up intermittently, crying for a lost paci or her fuzzy blanket. Which she only really does when something else is going on like teething or if she's sick.

To top all the fun teething business off, my mom tells me on Monday that she thinks she's getting sick. Panic ensues. What on earth will we do if my mom gets sick? I mean, she watches the kids every single day while we work. Oh my gosh.

On Tuesday morning, both girls wake up with coughs and runny noses, on top of the teething. And as disappointing as it is for them to get sick at any time, the week of Christmas just seems really unfair. They were miserable and after not sleeping for several days (Elly kept me up all night on Saturday too!) I was miserable. When we left the house Tuesday morning I just cried because I felt so overwhelmed and exhausted.

My mom was feeling better Tuesday night and volunteered to keep Evie so that maybe I could get a little more sleep. As fearful as I was that it would totally backfire for all of us, I agreed. Evie went to bed early and slept pretty good at my mom's. Elly actually slept really well too. Which means that I slept really well! Eight hours of uninterrupted sleep made me a much more pleasant person to be around. Though of course the teething is on going.

A couple of nights of good rest and both babies are much better. Evie seems to be completely over the cold and her teething seems to come and go. Elly still has a runny nose but seems to be feeling okay.

I was just so unprepared for how much awful teething could be at this point. I mean, instead of crying and getting a paci and some snuggles and just going to sleep like she did when she was little, Evie screams. She asks me to make it stop hurting. She asks for Tylenol and Orajel. Even if she just had them. She looks at me with those big blue eyes, tears pouring down her cheeks, and says "Mommy, teeth hurt!" and she expects me to fix it. And really, there's not a damn thing I can do. It's a horribly heartbreaking sort of feeling. Snuggles don't mend the pain and she can't just sleep through it. As her mother, I'm supposed to take care of her and she obviously considers pain management an aspect of that care. And she acts like I am being deliberately lazy and irresponsible by not taking that pain away.

Elly cries. I give her a paci. She cries some more and I give her some Orajel. If she keeps crying, she dozes off. It's a beautiful system. One that I didn't realize that I appreciated as much as I do until I discovered it gone. A coping mechanism that babies leave behind when they become children. And evidently coping with pain isn't something a two-year-old has developed.

I'm hoping we all continue to get sleep. It's amazing how quickly your emotional state erodes once you stop sleeping. I consider myself a fairly level-headed and intelligent human being but after two nights of not sleeping I felt broken. My brain was not functioning. I felt frayed and overly emotional. Irritable, cranky and grumpy. I don't want to be feeling that way this weekend. I'm far to excited about the holiday celebrations to want them polluted by lack of sleep.

Two more nights. One more day. And we'll be officially in the Christmas weekend. I am so very excited. We're ready for Santa at my house! Here's hoping we all stay well-rested and non-snotty so we can enjoy the weekend.

Totally Gettin Into the Holidays

If you know me you would probably argue that I have been into the holiday spirit for sometime now. Months even.

And you'd be correct. I have been totally obsessed with Christmas for quite awhile. I am always a little nuts for Christmas, but this year has been much more severe due to the kids. This year Evie really "gets" Christmas and that makes it so much more exciting.

But this weekend really marked the start to the holiday season for me. I mean, I've had my Christmas tree up for weeks, had the Christmas music in the car, have been watching Christmas movies, etc. But as excited as I have been about Christmas I didn't really feel like I was in the Christmas spirit. I hadn't caught myself humming Christmas music. Or been really into the Christmas movies.

This weekend that all changed.

It started Friday morning. A quick shopping trip with Evie to get some peppermint oil, Christmas ornaments and pick up the Christmas pictures. Strolling around Main Street all bundled up with Evie was just perfect. Her asking lots of questions and giggling and talking away. Then picking our Christmas ornaments, while not the cheapest endeavor (that girl has EXPENSIVE taste!), was a blast. Evie was so excited to put the new ornaments on the tree when we got home so we did that and showed off the pictures. They turned out great!

After work finished I up the Christmas cards, which isn't nearly the chore I'm always afraid it will be.

Saturday morning we had a fun family morning just hanging out around the house. We cleaned up and made a mess. Then had pizza for lunch. Then Evie and I made red and white play clay (a.k.a play dough), added peppermint oil and glitter. After naps, we packaged the peppermint play dough as gifts for each of Evie's friends. Then I let Evie use all of our cookie cutters to play with the left over play dough. Which there was a TON of. It was so much fun!

Sunday we went to see Santa and watched Christmas movies. Also we completed our annual tradition of making sugar cookies. Despite my fears, Evie did a great job with all of it. No tantrums. No screaming. No crying.

It was an awesome weekend! And I am so much into the holiday spirit now!

I'm so counting down the days until Christmas.

And Evie was so funny this morning. Listening to Christmas music on the way into work, "Santa Claus is coming to town" and Evie yells "Momma! Santa Claus is coming!"

Maintaining Mommy Friends

Since having my second child I have found that having any life beyond them seems to be pretty darn impossible. Maybe it's just me. I'm kinda slack when it comes to going out of my way to make friends anyways. People that I used to hang out with have stopped calling and texting and coming around in general. I guess I'm just no fun anymore.

And it's true. I mean, if you're not into play-doh and crayons and Dora the Explorer...I don't really know that I could even carry on much of a conversation with you. I mean...what the heck could we talk about??

And while time is much tighter than it was before the babies, I suppose I could work harder to do more "grown-up" activities. But the truth is I don't want to. Whereas before spending a weekend sitting around the house would have been depressing, now I look forward to it. I love the weekends that we don't have to do anything. We can have tea parties and play dress up and color and run around and the only time constraints we have are meals, naps and bed. I love those weekends!

It's hard to have friends once you're a mom. Your priorities change so dramatically. And all you want to talk about it diaper rashes and tantrums and your toddler's hilarious way of saying "zebra" (which by the way is like "ze-ba-bah-rah" it's adorable) and your non-mommy friends want to talk about...well you know, normal people stuff. Like work and school and drama with their fiance and how their parents are driving them crazy.

And while there is a really good argument out there on maintaining pre-mom friendships and staying well-rounded and not losing your identity in parenthood, I think there is a better argument for what happens when parents don't prioritize and when kids get forgotten. I know too many people who have kids and just keep on doing like they did. They keep going out and partying. They continue to lead wild lives. And they just let the T.V and the babysitter raise their children. And I don't want to be that kind of parent.

Being a parent is who you need to become.

There is nothing wrong with going out every once in awhile. Date nights are a must and some alone time needs to be a priority because if you can't take care of yourself then you'll have a hard time taking care of everyone else. This last one is the hardest for me to do. I just cannot let chores go undone or let a mess lie. I have to have order in my life or I will totally lose it. So I really need to find a way to make more time for ME. Even if it's just to go to bed a little earlier or take a bubble bath or something.

While I don't really have many of my pre-mom friends left, I have made new friends since becoming a mom, or to be more specific since becoming a baby buncher. When you're going through two under two, you really need to talk to people who can relate. Because a lot of people who have two kids that are several years apart just don't understand the chaos and the stress. Some people can sympathize but most people just don't get it. And for the first six months especially, you need "been there done that" help. So, I made friends with a couple of baby bunchers and they have been total life savers.

It's hard to realize that you never get to talk to those old friends anymore. It's a little sad. Heck, it's a lotta sad. Kinda bittersweet to think back on all the memories you shared with those friends and wonder if they ever miss you. Wonder if they understand why you're not interested in happy hours or late night drinking parties or big concerts in the middle of the week. Maybe one day they'll have kids and they'll call me up screaming "I understand! I understand!" lol. Or maybe not.

Nowadays I look forward to Saturday morning Walmart trips with Evie. And Sunday afternoons doing yard work with the girls. I look forward to Friday night movie night, snuggled up with the babies and watching animated classics (last week was Pocahontas and this week will be Happy Feet!) while munching on Orville Reddenbacher. I relish in teaching the girls holiday traditions and trying to get them ready for preschool.

In a few years the girls will be going to school and they will have their own friends and then there will be more time for me to do things. Things that I don't have time for right now. Like you know, shave my legs. haha.

Second Guessing

Parenting is hard. Several people have told me that it is the hardest, most frustrating, yet most rewarding job you can ever have. Two years into it, I would have to agree. A little over a year into the terrible twos, I'm wondering how on Earth I will survive the threes and oh my gosh, there's going to be two of them in their twos!

I don't know if all parents do this. But I'm always second guessing and worrying and wondering. Did I make the right decision to punish Evie for this? Should I have reacted differently?

I worry about Evie turning into a total brat. Or a hellion. Or a totally dysfunctional member of society.

Is that a normal parent thing?

Is second guessing worse than just making the mistake in the first place?

Am I over analyzing this whole parenting thing?

Shoo. The last is probably a resounding yes. Because I pretty much over analyze...well, everything. But it's a pretty ingrained personality flaw. And it's not gotten me killed yet. Probably too late to change it anyways.

But the terrible two's are just that. They are so terrible. There is this speckling of sweet moments. When she climbs up into my lap at the kitchen table and hugs my neck and says "Love you Momma!" that makes me smile. Or when she's yammering away about her nice clean tennis shoes and insists I call her ma so she can say "Tank you Ma! Tanks!" But as bright and wonderful as those moments are they are so overwhelmed by the days of tantrums. The days that start off with her standing in the kitchen screaming because she has to eat something for breakfast and are followed by tantrums over not getting to watch more t.v. and tantrums over having to share her toys and tantrums when she has to go potty. There just aren't words for how awful those days are. Those are the days that I thank God I have a full-time job and get to deposit her with someone else for at least a few hours a few days a week.

And everyone tells me that the three's are soooo much worse. I just can't imagine. Especially since, if you'll remember, I will have a three year old and a two year old. And then even after Evie is out of her "three's" and hopefully not such a pain, Elly will still be in her's. God help me. It's going to be a couple of hard years. Three years of tantrums and potty training and more tantrums and oh-my-gosh.

On top of all this, right after I finish yelling at Evie for her terrible attitude and sending her to time-out AGAIN, I see a commercial on television about how the first five years are the most formative and how the type of person your child will grow to be is established during those first few years. Holy crap. What kind of heathen am I unleashing on the world?

So yeah, these years are hard. I snuggle up to Elly, who is in that awesome oh-so-sweet and fun baby phase and I think how much different she'll be six months from now. She'll be walking and talking and able to feed herself. She'll have an opinion and be able to express it some. And then she'll become a two-year-old and I will sit and wonder where my sweet baby went as she throws yet another fit.

How does anyone survive it?

Seems like it comes and goes. We have better weeks and worse weeks. Though it seems to correlate more with what's going on with Evie developmentally versus what's going on with our household. Like this week she's tackling going potty solo...so we've had a lot of fits and fighting and rebelling.

And what will we do when there are two of them? Throwing themselves in the floor and screaming and flailing.

I just keep reminding myself "This too shall pass" and praying that I'm not like seriously messing up my kids.

Seriously Sensitive to the Ick Factor

Today, we here at the Dowd household participated in that fun-filled and kinda disgusting tradition of carving pumpkins.

I was very excited...I imagined Evie digging in to the pumpkin and getting icky. In fact, I made her strip down, fearing the potential stain factor of pumpkin guts. Lemme just say that was a waste of time.

Yeah...last year, 14 month old Evie was really creeped out by the icky, sticky, stringy gunk. After sticking her hand quite briefly into her pumpkin she refused any further contact. But a year has come and gone since then. Evie has acquired all sorts of new skills and experienced a lot of things. The kid can totally get into making a mess! I really envisioned her loving gutting a pumpkin.

Apparently she just has too much of a personal attachment to the veggie.

Fortunately though, my lil punkin' headed youngin', my lil Elly-Belle got totally into the pumpkin gutting experience. She ripped goop from the insides. She chewed on the pumpkin lid. She sampled a pumpkin seed. She stretched strings of pumpkin viscera between her chubby little fingers and cackled manically. She got orange goop in her hair, on the cabinets, the trash can, Evie's hair and even MY hair.

It was a lot of fun.

Evie threw a couple of fits though. Of course. She didn't want to touch the guts. She didn't want to touch the seeds. She was mad that Sissy threw guts on her. Lots of drama, as usual.

Evie was pretty tickled by the end result.

Her face was just in complete awe when she got to see the jack-o-lanterns all lit up on the front porch after it got dark. She just loved it! On and on about her pumpkin and her sister's pumpkin.

Sissy cried when we picked all the seeds up. Cried again when I took the giant spoon we used to help scrape out the innards away from her. Chased the pan full of seeds. Then couldn't care less about the silly pumpkins once I gave her a sippy cup and a toy.

I'm still kinda bummed that Evie didn't particularly care for gutting the pumpkins. But hey, there's always next year.

Learning new things

Well, I was completely out of service yesterday due to a seriously sucky headache/migraine. And I think it killed some brain cells, because I had some great blog ideas last week and I can't remember a single one.

I remember an opening line to one: "Being a parent is tough, I think all of us can agree." But that's where the train of thought stops. I cannot remember where I was going to take it. And for the life of me I can't remember what the overall blog was going to be about. But I remember thinking "What a brilliant idea for a blog!" and then the opening sentence popping into my head. Mentally I told myself not to forget it. And of course, I am totally lost now.

So instead of where ever in the world of writing I was taking that sentence, I'm going to talk about my once wordless toddler who has turned into a terribly talkative two year-old. Seriously. I remember saying "I will be so happy when she starts talking." Now I just wonder when she's going to take a break.

Well, it's not that bad.

Yet.

But she does pretty much narrate our day from sun-up to sun-down. And there are times where I have to interrupt her and try to divert her train of thought onto something else because after hearing her tell me the same thing 30 times I cannot handle hearing it again.

It is so much fun to have little conversations with her now. Especially because so many of her little phrases are so funny. Like the way she says "Oh no!" You'd have to hear it to really appreciate how adorably hilarious it is. But trust me. It is. Or the way she says "help," it sounds sort of like "holpe." It's adorable. Really.

The other night we were talking about the moon, which she loves. She talks about how it's white, how it's bright, how there are stars near it, how much she likes it, and how it is hers. Yes, it is her personal moon. But during this conversation, I told her that the moon was far, far away. As she processed this her little happy face just melted and she cried "Oh no!" (Which sounds like "no no" when she says it) and put her head in her hands.

She's just so funny.

She's over being traumatized about how far away the moon is as well. 

A big up to Evie's slight delay in speech though?

Her language is still simple enough that Elly can easily understand her and she's catching on very quickly to language. I think by the time she's 18 months old, she will be on the same page as Evie (who will be 3 then, in case you don't like doing math). It may sound weird, but I really think she will be talking on the same level as a three year-old. I could be wrong though.

Evie does occasionally ramble off in sentences that don't seem to be in English. Just gibberish. Sometimes it's just because she gets in a hurry and her words ran together. Sometimes she just is saying nonsense. I think that's pretty normal for two though. By three everything is supposed to be discernible and I don't have any fear that she will meet that.

Plus, she knows all her letters. She's learning the alphabet song. And I'm trying to teach her to count. So far she can count to two...sometimes three. And she knows all of her colors. And shapes. And she's learning to spell.

One of my favorite things about kids is watching them learn new things. It is amazing! Two years ago, Evie couldn't get her hand in her mouth without help. Now she's building houses out of Legos and spelling her name. Coloring pictures and narrating stories. So much and it all happens so fast! It's just amazing.

I think one thing that I am most looking forward to though, as far as learning, is reading. I cannot WAIT for them to learn to read. And for them to start wanting to read longer stories. Like Winnie the Pooh and Charlotte's Web and The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe...things that I remember my mom reading to me before bed when I was young. I hope they are both avid readers. Reading has been something that I have absolutely loved and has been an important part of my life and cannot wait to share with them. 

Regardless of what they're learning, watching them learn new things is so much fun.

New Car Seat Recommendations

I think all parents would say that keeping their kids safe is important to them. Sometimes I think I would like to put each of my girls in a little bubble, to keep them from ever being injured or sick. To never get their feelings hurt or feel disappointment. It breaks my heart when they cry. I wish I could take their pain and their sickness upon myself. I, along with probably every mother, can say without hesitation that I would give my life for either of my kids.

So what does this have to do with a car seat?

Well, back in the spring, the American Academy of Pediatrics released new recommendations regarding child seats. Because of them I am seriously reconsidering my current car seat situation and definitely postponing the ever-exciting forward-facing debut for Elly.

So many people have responded to delaying turning car seats with annoyance or disinterest. People complain that their child's legs are touching the seat and they can't be comfortable. Or that their other children were turned at age one without problem. Or their kid is big for their age so they don't even want to wait til age one.

What is more important than your child's safety? If it comes down to being a little less comfortable in the car versus dead, are you really going to choose dead? Really? It blows my mind than anyone would even consider not following the new recommendations.

Although Evie meets the age and size minimums to be forward-facing, the statistics show that rear-facing is SOOO much safer, that I'm strongly considering turning her back rear -facing. Motor vehicle accidents are the leading cause of death in children under age twelve. One reason is that people disregard car seat safety.

Yes, car seats are a pain. The five-point harness is a big hassle and with a wiggly kid it can take an eternity to get them buckled it. And with the new recommendations saying that children should ride in a booster seat until they are 4'9" (a height I probably didn't reach until middle school honestly) more parents are likely to shrug them off. But this is your child's LIFE.

None of us plan to get in a car accident. We don't hop in the car and hope to risk our lives and the lives of our children. But think about this statistic...if you are going 30 mph and are in front-end impact accident, everyone in the car continues to go 30 mph. An impact to your child's head at that momentum is the same as dropping your child head first off a three-story building.

Children in a rear-facing car seat are 75% safer than forward facing. This is because 72% of auto accidents are head-on (car meets object with forward-moving impact). Children are born with softer bones than an adult. They are still growing and developing. Between ages 2 and 5 the bones in their spine begin to harden and fuse and can withstand more impact without damage. Until those bones are fully hardened your child's spinal cord is very weakly protected. Whip lash for a child can be the same as internal decapitation. That's right DE-CAP-I-TA-TION.

So what about rear-impact collisions? Where someone hits you or you back into something. Well, these accidents only account for about 4% of all accidents. But even in the case of this type of wreck, a rear-facing child's head and neck are usually cushioned by the recline in the rear-facing seat, dramatically reducing the force on their head and neck. Also, in that type of collision, the cars continue to go forward, distributing the momentum of the accident over the car instead of on the passengers.

I seriously doubt that a child who had never been forward facing would complain about their legs being cramped. As adults, we have a much different opinion of what "comfortable" is. Toddlers sleep contorted and twisted up. After all, it wasn't that long ago that they were wadded up inside their mom's belly. They're still incredibly flexible. And children are more than happy to prop their feet up or sit cross-legged. As for a child's legs being injured by being rear-facing when their legs touch the seat, a leg fracture is very, very rarely fatal. Yes, a femur fracture can be life threatening. But the majority of the time, it would be one of the more fragile lower leg bones that would break before the hefty femur. And a leg fracture leads to a cast. Breaking your neck though? Well, a cast can't fix a spinal cord injury.

And the new recommendations do make exceptions for children that are especially big for their age. While they don't budge on the one-year requirement, there are allowance for those children who exceed the limits for their seat's rear-facing height and weight limits. In those circumstances, parents are told to turn the child forward facing. So, if your convertible car seat sets 30 lbs as the weight limit on rear-facing and your 15 month old weighs 31 lbs, you should go ahead and turn them forward. Most children however, do not hit the 30 lb mark until after their second birthday.

I have all these dreams for my children. I want to see them start school, ride a pony, play sports. I want to help them do their hair for school dances and help them with their grammar homework. I cannot imagine the pain of losing a child. It is something I would give anything and do anything to prevent from ever happening. I would like for it to be something no one has to go through. And to experience that loss and to know that you could have prevented it? That would be a guilt that I cannot imagine living with.

I have read the complaints and the arguments against waiting until age 2 to turn your child forward-facing. And I don't feel that any of them are worth a grain of salt when you're talking about the safety of your children. It isn't a law. Yet. Though there is a tremendous push from a lot of groups to enact more of the car seat and booster seat recommendations into law. Which, for the record, I think is a great idea.

So, to all the parents out there, please read the AAP's new recommendations. Take an honest look at your child's car seat situation. I'm going to start telling my girls early that they'll probably be in a booster seat when they get their driver's license. I'm only 5'3" and my husband isn't giving NBA stars a run for their money in the height department. There are some tall genes in my family somewhere because my younger brother is 6'2" but my kids shouldn't count on inheriting any of that. And their safety is far more important to me than whether or not they look cool getting out of the car. haha!

I don't feel bad for turning Evie forward facing at age one. I'm glad that she wasn't one of thousands of children injured under age 2 by a car accident. But at the time, doctors, scientists and pediatricians all said 1 year and 20 lbs was okay. My 6 month old met the 20 lb requirement, but I assure you that turning her car seat around hasn't even flitted across my subconscious. Let alone surfaced in my conscious thoughts. I won't be turning her til age 2, regardless of the fact that Evie survived.

So, my second day back to blogging and I have a seriously biased rant. Sorry guys. I just feel really strongly about child safety. I work in emergency services. I hear too many stories about children killed in car accidents. I don't want any of those stories to be about your kids! I want those stories to stop completely. So please, take care of your children. They are precious gifts.

Links for more information:

National Highway Traffic Safety Administration

Time article

American Academy of Pediatrics

Days go by

Wow. So yesterday Elly turned 6 months old. Like, officially. Really. Six months.

Please keep any smart comments to yourself about how it's time for me to be pregnant again. It's not funny. And I'm getting a little tired of people saying it.

So when I realized yesterday that Elly was officially 6 months old I wasn't really sure how to feel about it. But mostly I think I'm in shock. And a little apprehensive about the future. With Evie the 6 month mark was kind of the turning point. It was when she stopped being a useless squab and started playing with toys and interacting and pulling up on the furniture. Then one day she started crawling. It seemed like the day after she started walking. Then running.

Six months was the beginning of her not being a "baby" anymore.

Elly is definitely, probably, more than likely my last baby. And while I don't particularly love the squab phase, since this is the last time I will get to experience it, it makes me sad to think that it is ending. I just love little chubby legs and the soft baby smells and snoring babies sleeping on me. I will really miss those things. Far too soon, Elly will be crawling and walking and running all over. Then she will lose all the sweet baby rolls and sweet baby smells. She will be a toddler. Then a preschooler.

What I'm trying to say is it's all going by too fast.

I'm dismayed. Disoriented. Discontented. Disgusted. I'm running out of "dis" words...

Evie's going to be 2 in a week and Elly will be 1 far too soon. And before I have time to take a breath they're probably going to be teenagers. What on earth can I do?

Well, of course nothing.

Elly is sitting up completely solo now. Not even having to use her hands and "frog sit" anymore. She still needs a boppy around her or else she gets excited and throws herself backwards. This morning for the first time I left Elly sitting in her Boppy in the living room and came back and she was lying on her back about 6 inches away from where I left her. Gooing, kicking and incredibly proud of herself. I'm pretty sure she leaned forward and got onto her tummy, army crawled a few inches and then rolled over. It's not very impressive progress. Nonetheless, it is movement. And with babies it seems like one week they are completely incapable of doing something. The next they are doing it as if they were born able. It's amazing. Babies are amazing little critters.

Evie is saying new words every day. Now I have to carry on conversation with her in the car. Which is cool. But also new and different and a lot of pressure. I'm used to just listening to my music or catching up on my phone calls during car rides. But no more! But it's neat. Evie actually talking and stuff.

It is just blowing my mind how quick it all happens. Days turn into weeks turn into years. I could just cry.

Tough to be a Toddler

I was trying to help Evie explain to me what was wrong over the weekend when it sort of dawned on me. My goodness! It must be so hard to be a toddler. I don't think I've ever really thought about how hard it must be for her. Not that I've been terribly insensitive (at least I don't think so) about her two-year-old issues. But I don't think it's really ever clicked for me how tough it must be.

Can you imagine having the mental capacity to feel and imagine and think all that a two-year-old can, without having the words to convey any of it. A two-year-old just doesn't have the life experience to explain what's going on. Hell, I'm (almost) 26 and I don't have the ability to explain what's wrong sometimes. Sometimes even I just want to sit in the floor and cry for a couple of minutes. So how can I blame her?

Silly as it seems, this realization has totally renewed my outlook on the terrible twos. The last couple of weeks, with all of Evie's sleep problems, potty training, possibly getting molars and a random stomach thing, I have been so unbelievably tired of her. Horrible. I know. But it seems like she's good for everyone else, and the moment we're alone she's a little demon spawn. She's beating on her sister's head with a plastic elephant. She's slapping me for telling her no. She's throwing the remote at the television because I won't let her watch ANOTHER episode of Dora. She's screaming and throwing her pull-up at me because she doesn't want to go potty. She's ripping pages out of her books and pulling all of her clothes out of her drawers and pouring her juice out in the floor just because she can.

I'm at my wits end with her! I honestly don't even know what to do. In tears the other night I asked Josh what we were doing wrong. Why had our once sweet baby become this hateful creature? He just shrugged. I have asked so many of my fellow parent friends what's wrong with her and everyone just keeps assuring me it's terrible twos.

So, realizing that so many of our problems lately have been due to some serious communication break-downs has really changed my mood. Communications is my thing. I love language and learning everything about it. One of my favorite classes in college was History of the English language. Did you know that English is one of the most difficult languages to learn? Because English is a bastard language, derived from Germanic roots and an attempt to blend in French vocabulary. So many of its rules have exceptions and but's. It's incredibly difficult to learn! Look, you learned something today!

So the idea that Evie's behavior problems are stemming not from a discipline issue but a communication issue completely changes the game for me. I had no idea how to change my discipline tactics to adapt to Evie's increasing outbursts and defiance. Putting her in time-out either made her more angry or completely crushed her ego most of the time, neither of which is the purpose of time-out. I don't want Evie to see me as an evil and ruthless dictator. I'm her parent. I love her. I want her to KNOW that I love her. While I don't want her to think she has nothing to fear from breaking the rules, I also don't want her to fear me. Does that make sense? I don't want to beat her because she throws a fit. It seems counterproductive. And cruel. A smack on the bottom may be a necessary form of discipline but hitting her for hitting someone else seems to be a rather mixed message. So, I felt like none of my discipline techniques were working. And now I understand why! Because discipline wasn't the issue!

Since this epiphany, I have taken a different approach to life with Evie and ya know what? It has worked! Of course, Evie does still have tantrums because she's mad that she isn't getting her way. And for those a time out has sufficed.

(Humorous side note: I told Evie to got to time-out for hitting her sister. She pointed at the potty and said she needed to Potty. I was pretty upset over the hitting her sister and told Evie no, that she need time-out. I was assuming that she was just using the potty as an excuse to avoid time out, because she is pretty wily. She picked up her potty and carried it with her to the time-out corner. Too funny!)

But when she has a meltdown for no apparent reason I have sat down with her and asked her to try to explain what was wrong. Through asking yes and no questions, I've usually been able to figure it out and usually it's frustration over not being able to say exactly what she wants that is causing her to scream and cry.

Her mind is growing so fast that it's astounding! But she still doesn't always have the words to say what she means. How frustrating that must be. Every day she says new words. Yesterday she said "bunk bed," "check book," "orange" and "money." She thanked a clerk at the store and told him bye. It's so amazing to see. But as fast as she's learning new things to say, she understands so much more. She's starting to understand letters and numbers and math and rhymes. She gets feelings and schedules and time (not by a clock, but prepositional time, like before and after and later). She's beginning to show some real compassion and empathy for her little sister and even sharing and playing with her. Evie's imagination has grown in leaps and bounds as well. She has little tea parties for her animals and pretends to be a super hero "flying" up and down the hall.

But I can't imagine how frustrating it must be to understand SO much and not be able to express it. So I'm practicing a bit more compassion and trying to be more understanding when she melts down instead of being upset and frustrated. So far, it seems to be helping.

And they call it Puppy Love

Evie loves Mushu. Loves him.

They are best buds. And it is just adorable.

Especially watching her walk him on the leash. And she "corrects" him and if he doesn't listen she tells him he's bad. Or hearing peals of laughter from the back seat when we're going home.

See, my mom has a boarding kennel and grooming parlor for dogs (and cats) and does day care during the day. Since she typically has a wide variety of pups staying with her, I like to take Mushu for day care when I take the girls so he can run off some energy, go for a walk, etc. So Mushu goes with us every day.

I love looking back in my rearview mirror and seeing Evie and Mushu doing something cute.

Like snuggling. Or playing some sort of strange toddler-terrier game. Or just gazing out the window.

Evie insists that she be the only one to hold Mushu's leash. In fact, drama inevitably occurs every time we get in and out of the car because to put on her seat belt she has to temporarily relinquish Mushu's leash. She's gotten better lately. But man, some days it is impossible to deal with the screaming and flailing when I ask her to please hand me his leash while she gets strapped into her car seat.

Mushu was acquired as my dog. Josh has his beagle, Emily. And I had my little terrier. The teensy dog who needs sweaters in the winter and gets excited about wearing a coat in the rain. Until Evie came along, he was definitely the baby of the house. He got Christmas presents from the grandparents and got to go to holiday get-togethers. Then Evie came along and he went from being the center of attention to being another responsibility. Bless his heart.

Despite her stealing his spot in our lives and all of our attention, Mushu doesn't hold a grudge. At least not against Evie. He has become her constant companion. Follows her around. Plays with her. Worries about her if she gets hurt or stays the night somewhere else. He's a good boy.

Evie loves that little dog. And I think the little dog loves her. Heck, I'm sure he does.

At least most of the time. When she steps on him. Or body slams him. Or steals his toys. Or puts soap in his food bowl. Or pours his food into his water. Or screams at him. Those might be times where he feels less of that warm, fuzzy devotion.

A dog is a good pet for a kid. Loving. Protective. Forgiving. I think forgiveness is important in any relationship. But especially when dealing with a toddler. They still struggle with compassion and empathy and all those emotions that can be so important in a friendship.

But this is love.

You see his little leg over the car seat? And her little arm thrown over his shoulders? Precious.

Time Flies...

In about six weeks my little Evie is going to be two and to be honest, I'm feeling a little bi-polar about the situation. I fluctuate between being super excited and super depressed about the fact that my eldest daughter is going to be celebrating her second birthday. How did she get to be two already?

It has been so exciting watching her grow and develop. I thought that after the first year, when all the BIG milestones occur, that things would sort of stabilize and calm down. But it seems like she has changed just as much during this second year as she did during the first. The changes aren't quite so dramatic, but still leaps and bounds in her cognitive and communications skills. But I remember her first birthday like it was yesterday and I look forward to celebrating her second, and many many many more to come.

Evie's first birthday was a blast. She had never really been encouraged to make a huge mess of a cake, and I don't think she really knew what to do with herself. She finally got into it and made a decent mess of herself. It was hilarious to watch. And in typical Evie fashion she had her fans riveted and cheering her on. She was so precious.

This year we are planning on doing a pool party and cook out at the house. I intended initially for it to be a smaller party, and then when I started thinking of all the people that I wanted there, especially all of Evie's little friends, it ends up being at least as many people as last year. Not that last year was a HUGE event. But it was a good sized crowd.

I'm hoping I can get some of my family to each bring a dish, cutting down on the amount of work involved a little. Of course, I need to plan out what all food I want to have. Which is a chore in and of itself. Cake is all too obvious. And I'm going to do a little smash cake for Evie again. Hot dogs for all the guests. Chili, coleslaw (something my mom needs to make, cuz she makes some KILLA coleslaw!), potato salad, chips, maybe some cheesy bean dip (something else my mom should do!), cocktail weenies (cause they're delicious and Evie loves 'em)...but hmmm, what else? Some peanut butter cookies, because I have a neat #2 cookie cutter. And little baggies of popcorn. Another food Evie loves. Do I need anything else? That seems like a pretty decent spread. So, there's our menu.

The party is going to be late morning. I hope the weather is good, otherwise, I have NO idea what to do.

So as long as it's nice we will all be outside soaking up the sun and splashing in the pool. I'm going to hopefully borrow a slip-n-slide. And we've got a little bean bag Tic-Tac-Toe game. So I think we've got plenty to do.

Now in the next month, I have to get the house and yard in ship-shape. There's painting to be done on the deck and some touch ups inside. Weeding and what-not outside. Eesh. It's tiring just to think of!

I'm thinking if I bury myself in work and gifts and party supplies it'll keep my mind off the fact that my baby is leaving the days of babyhood and moving rapidly towards the preschooler age range. I've already told friends that I'm going to bawl my eyes out at Elly's first birthday party. It seems like the beginning of the end. My last baby having her first birthday. Probably be walking and talking and have accomplished all those other "firsts" by then. Evie's second birthday is the same sort of happy-sad occasion.

Mostly it is happy. But I am sad that time just seems to go by so quickly. Everyone tells me the older they get the faster it goes. And while time is flying by I'm left praying that I have done as good as I can. That Evie knows above everything else that I love her unconditionally and irrevocably. I am so proud of her. She's a sweet and precious girl.

I can't wait to see how amazing her future years are.

Tweet-Tweeeet...Tweetsie

DORA! DORA!

Momma! Dora!

Pointing, yelling, jubilant.

Evie was thrilled. Ecstatic. Overwhelmed. There was Dora.

Two weekends ago, our family went to Tweetsie Railroad in Blowing Rock. My mother-in-law had acquired some free tickets to meet Dora the Explorer and Diego. My husband and I, despite spending a lot of time in the Blowing Rock area, had never been to Tweetsie. We were excited about going and Evie was stoked that she was going to see Dora. Though until Dora actually came out onto the stage I'm not sure she really understood that she would be SEEING Dora.

The park was a lot of fun. There is a lot to do and a lot to see. Kids of all ages can enjoy it. Though the under 1 set is a little limited. Mobile babies can definitely enjoy some bounce houses, running around, kiddie rides, toy shops and even a petting zoo.

 The petting zoo was my favorite. But only because they had baby pot-bellied pigs. I love pigs. Especially teensy pot-bellied ones. They just make my heart flutter. I didn't really do any rides, despite the decent selection. Evie rode a boat ride that she seemed to really enjoy. Elly spent her time in the stroller or in someone's arms.

My sister-in-law Eryn brought her lil boy, 10 month old Hunter. He seemed to have a good time. I stayed so busy with my babies I didn't really get to spend much time with him, which I was disappointed about. He's a sweet lil fellar. And I don't see him nearly enough!

Evie was jubilant that she got to see Dora. She even did really well with meeting Dora. I know a lot of kids can be overwhelmed seeing their favorite character in the flesh.

But Evie had Nanny come on the stage with her and bravely had her picture made with Dora and Diego.

Evie even survived the entire day without a single potty accident. Yet another bit of mind-boggling potty training information. Apparently kids can hold it for prolonged periods while at a theme park. Go figure.

We rode a train. Had lunch at a fabulous BBQ place. Got Evie her first (temporary) tattoo. Bought some souvenirs. Did ridiculous amounts of walking. It was a fabulous day.

I hope in future years that we get to go back to Tweetsie Railroad. When the little ones are older and able to enjoy more of the park. It was a great experience! Even though Evie was over-tired and even after her nap was a little on the surly side that evening, I thought the day was stellar.

Second family vacation-type trip down. It was spectacular! Can't wait to do it again.

p.s - These pictures were taken by my fabulous father-in-law, Gary Dowd. You can check out his website at www.garydowd.com.

'MATERS!!

I am so incredibly excited.

Why, you ask.

This is why...

Tomato plants. I'm very excited because I haven't had time or space to really grow a garden, although I've always wanted to. And although I still don't have time or space for a full blown garden, tomato plants are fairly easy to grow in big pots on the porch. So that is what I will do!

This year I will do a few tomato plants.I have six currently, 2 beef steak and 4 ruetgers. But I'm going to give my mom half of them to supplement her garden. I'm just going to grow 3. If the tomato plants go well this summer, next summer I would like to add maybe some pepper plants and some cucumber plants to my potted porch garden. I love growing things and find it incredibly rewarding to exercise my green thumb.

I'd like some additional ideas for plants I might could grow in pots next year if this year's operation goes well. So if you have any suggestions, please comment! Maybe in a couple of years my children won't be quite so difficult and I can till up a spot and have some strawberries, corn and asparagus. Because I absolutely LOVE those foods. I also love green beans and sweet peas, but I have a pretty small, hilly yard. The places that get good full sun are really limited.

And there's just something adorable about baby plants. How silly am I? But I think they're cute. I'm attached to them. I don't want any harm to befall them. I hope they grow up big and strong and do great things with their lives. I guess once a mom always a mom. Even if that child is small, green and leafy.

I went down to the basement this morning and found two good sized pots. Partially filled them with some of my peat moss potting soil that I had. Tomorrow I've got a big Walmart trip planned so I'm going to pick up one more pot and some Miracle Gro potting soil. The variety with the plant food and the moisture retention. Then tomorrow afternoon I'm going to be planting some maters.

I know it's silly to be so excited. But I can't help it. It's the little things in life that I derive great pleasure from. Reading a good book. Planting some flowers. Growing tomatoes. As a result, I tend to be a pretty happy person.

Emily was a little puzzled by my dragging pots out to the deck and digging around in the dirt part of the morning. She gets fussed at for that sort of activity...dragging things onto the porch...digging in the dirt. Nonetheless, I can tell she's excited about 'maters too. Evie is super excited about the playing in the dirt part. I had to shoo her away several times this morning because I didn't want to have to deal with giving her a bath before work. Tomorrow, when the real planting occurs she will get to help.

I'm also going to be picking up some nice flowers and making a couple of decorative pots to sit around on the deck. And I might even go by Lowes and get some paint for the deck. Because yet again my stupid deck needs painting. Once we get it painted this year though, we're putting a gate up and keeping the dogs out. Their little toenails and wild games are hard on the already weary wood. Plus, once we get a lockable gate up, I can take the babies onto the deck to play without having to constantly yell at Evie to get her little booty back up the steps. Hopefully in a couple more weeks my deck will be a fabulous place to enjoy some time outside. Tomato plants, flowers, and fresh paint. Ahhhh.

Evie and the Heifers

I just realized that I still haven't blogged about this and I'm kinda annoyed with myself since I have been drawing blanks most days on blog ideas. And all this time I had this one, with cute pictures to boot, and didn't even realize I hadn't already written it! What does that say about my state of mind? That I really thought I had already written this post? Probably bad things. I blame sleep deprivation. Babies do that to ya.

So, anyways, on Mother's Day we went to my grandmother's house. It was truly the highlight of my day. Well, my grandmother's house and the fantabulous brie and bacon quiche that I made for breakfast that morning.

My grandparents live near the Blue Ridge Parkway in the Appalachian Mountains. In case you don't live around here, is pronounced "Apple-latch-an" not "apple-lay-shan." I grew up there. And no one in the Appalachian mountains prounouces it like you outsiders do. So stop. You are driving me crazy. My grandparents and great grandparents lived on the family land my entire life and quite a bit before that. Unfortunately my great grandparents passed away when I was in college and my grandmother sold their house but the land is all still in the family. On that land my family has pretty much always had cattle. Beef cattle in fact.

My uncle owns the cattle these days. He and his wife make the daily rounds feeding and checking the cows, heifers, and calves. The solitary Angus bull lives in a small pasture by himself near their home when he's not in with the cows doing his job. The cows and calves are spread across different pastures depending on the time of year and what's going on with them. My uncle doesn't just sell steers and heifers for beef anymore. These days you make more money as a small family operated farm by selling heifers to big farmers for breeding. Or so I'm told. So my uncle and aunt spend a lot of time artificially inseminating heifer with sperm from award-winning bloodline bulls from around the country. Then raising those calves to sell to big farmers.

My uncle has mostly Angus blood in his herds now. But there are still some white faced calves with Hereford blood. The white-faced calves are my favorite. I personally love Herefords, the red cows with white faces, but Black Baldies, black cows with white faces (acheived by breeding Angus and Herefords), are pretty adorable too. My great grandfather had a few Brahman cattle in his herd. I remember those cows quite clearly because they were incredibly mean for some reason. Brahman look very exotic with their hump at their shoulders. The bull he had when I was little was incredibly huge. My second cousin inherited those cattle from Pa Booker, and as far as I know several of the cows still have some Brahman heritage. I don't know if they are any more docile these days or not.

(**Note: Heifer are females that have never had calves. Cows are females. Bulls are males. Calves are babies. Steers are bulls that have been castrated. Just to catch you up on the terminology...**)

I grew up around livestock. I have never thought much about the process of feeding cattle or taking care of farm business because I grew up with it. I learned that day that not everyone has such experience. My step dad and husband were somewhat in awe watching the cows trot across the pasture when they heard my uncle's truck crank. Cattle recognize the sound of the vehicle that feeds them, be it a truck, tractor, or whatever, and when they hear that bad boy coming...they come running. Andreas and Josh have never spent any time on a farm (City boys...lol) and just marvelled at that. The whole experience for them seemed pretty impressive. It was a little funny to me. I can't imagine not knowing all these things about farm life.

Of course Evie had an excuse. For one, she's not even two. And she hasn't spent any time yet on a farm. For another, she loves all animals and cows to her seem like big dogs. She stood at the fence and mooed at the cows. Laughing and talking to them. She put her hand through the fence and beckoned to the cows. Of course, they were super freaked out by these little person shrieking and mooing at them and huddled together a safe distance away to observe her.

Once they were fed they pretty much paid us zero mind. No matter what Evie did. But she was still pretty happy with the experience. Even if she didn't get to pet a cow like she wanted to. She stood at the fence and mooed and shrieked and waved. Happy as could be.

It was really neat to watch Evie savoring her farm experience. That is definitely one of my favorite parts of having kids...one of many of course. But watching them experience new things and seeing their reactions and how they learn and grow. It's just amazing.

Even if it is just spending 20 minutes watching my aunt and uncle feed some heifers. It was a great time.

What's wrong with pink?

Yesterday I was casually perusing my usual mom blogs and came across a review for a book about how to raise girls in today's society. The title of the book is Cinderella Ate My Daughter by Peggy Orenstein and it is all about how to protect your daughter from today's "girlie-girl" culture. From the review I gathered that the book is about protecting our daughters from the Disney princesses, Hannah Montana and everything pink and girly.

Okay, that's not a completely fair analysis but that's kinda the main gist.

I'm incredibly offended.

What the heck is wrong with princesses and fairy tales and pink and tiaras?

I loved Ariel and Cinderella and Snow White when I was a little girl and I still spent a large part of my childhood playing in mud and riding horses. Wasn't really interested in dating until I was in high school. I was never a girly-girl despite my love of fairy tales and princesses. The author mentions that focused marketing to young girls goes all the way back to Shirley Temple, who I was obsessed with, and that Barbie, dolls and all things "girl" brainwash our kids into being oversexualized, underachieving bimbos. Good grief! Can we, as parents, please stop blaming society for EVERYTHING and try taking some responsibility?

While I agree that 8 year-olds don't need to be getting their belly button pierced and dating, I don't think that being a fan of Beauty & the Beast is going to make that happen. I've seen that there is a lot of social pressure for girls these days to act and dress much older than they are. But it's not up to society to determine how your child dresses. It's up to you!

No matter how much pink and crinoline and perfume your child wears, it's up to you to teach them the values that you want them to be instilled with. If you want them to dress like hussies, then let them dress like hussies. If you don't want them to look like floozies, then you shouldn't let them out of the house showing more skin than an R-rated movie.

A girl can be girly without being a slut. You can like Barbies and baby dolls and dress up and still enjoy going outside and playing kickball or building a dam out of mud in the creek. I managed it. And I know when I was a little girl we didn't have Miley Cyrus and Lindsey Lohan or Bratz dolls or heck, even cell phones. But just because society has changed doesn't mean that our kids have to grow up as little hellions. Just because there are cell phones that let them access everything from Facebook to HBO to porn doesn't mean we have to buy them one or let them use ours. They don't need a television in their room or their own computer unless they are trusted with it and unless you have some sort of final say as to what's on it. We don't have to advertise how well off we were by buying them the latest and greatest in technology or spending $300 on a pair of shoes that they'll only get to wear a year. It's not necessary and it's frivolous and look where unnecessary and frivolous spending has gotten us. Into a national recession that we ought to be ashamed of, because when it comes right down to it, we allowed it to happen. The government's spending has followed our own.

Rather than worrying about whether or not our daughter's are fans of the Disney Princesses we should be more concerned about raising healthy, happy girls who have good morals and good self-esteem. Girls who know that their worth is not tied to what they wear or how expensive their clothes are or how much people like them. Girls who enjoy planting flowers or riding a bike as much as they enjoy playing dress up and having a tea party. That's the kind of girls I want my kids to be.

Yes, I like to buy my kids nice things as much as anyone else. But I don't think I have gone overboard or done it to an extreme degree. Yes, they wear a lot of name brand clothes. But they also wear hand-me-downs and consignment clothes and stuff from Walmart. They don't get everything they want. They have a plethora of toys, but a lot of them were given to us by friends and family, and they don't have everything out there.

While my youngest daughter isn't yet old enough to really have an opinion, Miss Evie is totally a girly girl. Her favorite colors are pink and purple. She loves to paint her nails, put bows in her hair, play dress up and totter around in Mommy's high heels. Evie also loves playing in the sandbox, driving her four-wheeler, chasing the dogs around and getting dirty. She's a pretty good balance I think.

And I plan on doing all I can to continue that balance for both Evie and her sister, if Elly turns out girly as well. We will continue to buy and watch Disney princess movies.

I understand that how my children grow up is largely my responsibility. Of course, they will do what they want but unless I instill in them the ability to make the right choices they will probably be able to make nothing but the wrong ones. Teaching them right from wrong, values, nurturing their self-worth and self-esteem...those are not society's responsibilities. And while I know that society can have a tremendous impact on my children, I don't feel that eliminating all things princess will shield them. Besides, princesses, "real" princesses at least, can teach girls good lessons. They can teach propriety, manners, poise, dignity, grace, charity...think about Snow White and Cinderella and Sleeping Beauty.

I worry a lot about doing the right thing and raising my girls "right" but I will not be worrying about whether or not the Little Mermaid is teaching them the wrong values or whether or not they're wearing too much pink.