Dealing with Loss

Losing a family member is never easy. 

Not even when that family member is tiny, four-legged, fuzzy and isn’t really “gone.”

In spring 2008, Josh bought me Mushu, a Yorkie-Shih Tzu mix, as a combo anniversary and birthday present. Mushu was a teensy ball of fuzz and he was really our first baby. Unfortunately for Mushu, in August of 2009 we had a real baby. A human baby. When little Evie came along I was not sure how Mushu would deal. I thought he would hate her. Be jealous. Maybe even bite her. But he didn’t. 

Instead he became very protective. And as a result very stressed. 

By the time Elly came along, Mushu’s protectiveness had turned into violence. Not towards any of us. But towards anyone who came to our house. Or near our yard for that matter. 

Mushu preferred to spend much of his time outside. We had a wireless electric fence and Mushu and our beagle, Emily, each had collars. So Mushu could pass much of his day running around the yard doing whatever he pleased. But this meant that when the mail ran Mushu was typically in the yard. Same goes for UPS, visitors, neighbors, whoever. And Mushu started to bite. 

Now, fully grown Mushu weighed a whopping 8 lbs. He was certainly no Rottweiler barreling down on you. But he was fast, and due to his size most people ignored him. Even after I would TELL them that he would bite. They just marched on up to the porch. Usually getting nipped on the calf as a result. 

It started off that his bites were pretty light and tentative. Never broke the skin or did damage. But over the last six months, Mushu’s bite has gotten much more serious. It escalated into a very bad bite on the calf of one of our friends who came by after church a few weeks ago. 

We could take no more. 

I started talking about rehoming him through one of the local rescue groups. 

I cried to my husband. I cried to my mom. I cried alone in my car. I cried about it a lot. 

I certainly didn’t want to get rid of Mushu. But I couldn’t have him biting everyone who came to my house. And I didn’t want to risk him escalating further and possibly biting one of us, maybe even one of the kids. 

I felt like my hands were tied. Mushu had to go.

And he did. 

Mushu seems to be much happier. He loves us, I know. And he loves the girls. But he just couldn’t handle the stress of my girls 24/7. 

Fortunately for Mushu, and for us, my mom had developed something of a soft spot for Mushu over the last four years. And she knew that he had developed a soft spot for her over the last year coming to day care. So, Mushu has moved to my mom’s house. We still get to see him 3 or 4 days a week when the girls go there for day care. But then the girls go home and he gets a break. Mushu loves it. He is getting the best of both worlds. He gets the stability and quiet of my mom’s house with the fun and love of family when the girls are there. Now I don’t have to worry about him eating up some of our visitors. But I know he is well taken care of and loved. 

I have still missed him. It’s been really weird not having him around the house. Much quieter, for one thing. But it has been nice not to worry about whether or not the mail was going to run when he was outside or making sure he was put up before anyone came to visit. 

Now we have to make sure that Maiko doesn’t grow up to be a psycho attack dog…*sigh*

And they call it Puppy Love

Evie loves Mushu. Loves him.

They are best buds. And it is just adorable.

Especially watching her walk him on the leash. And she "corrects" him and if he doesn't listen she tells him he's bad. Or hearing peals of laughter from the back seat when we're going home.

See, my mom has a boarding kennel and grooming parlor for dogs (and cats) and does day care during the day. Since she typically has a wide variety of pups staying with her, I like to take Mushu for day care when I take the girls so he can run off some energy, go for a walk, etc. So Mushu goes with us every day.

I love looking back in my rearview mirror and seeing Evie and Mushu doing something cute.

Like snuggling. Or playing some sort of strange toddler-terrier game. Or just gazing out the window.

Evie insists that she be the only one to hold Mushu's leash. In fact, drama inevitably occurs every time we get in and out of the car because to put on her seat belt she has to temporarily relinquish Mushu's leash. She's gotten better lately. But man, some days it is impossible to deal with the screaming and flailing when I ask her to please hand me his leash while she gets strapped into her car seat.

Mushu was acquired as my dog. Josh has his beagle, Emily. And I had my little terrier. The teensy dog who needs sweaters in the winter and gets excited about wearing a coat in the rain. Until Evie came along, he was definitely the baby of the house. He got Christmas presents from the grandparents and got to go to holiday get-togethers. Then Evie came along and he went from being the center of attention to being another responsibility. Bless his heart.

Despite her stealing his spot in our lives and all of our attention, Mushu doesn't hold a grudge. At least not against Evie. He has become her constant companion. Follows her around. Plays with her. Worries about her if she gets hurt or stays the night somewhere else. He's a good boy.

Evie loves that little dog. And I think the little dog loves her. Heck, I'm sure he does.

At least most of the time. When she steps on him. Or body slams him. Or steals his toys. Or puts soap in his food bowl. Or pours his food into his water. Or screams at him. Those might be times where he feels less of that warm, fuzzy devotion.

A dog is a good pet for a kid. Loving. Protective. Forgiving. I think forgiveness is important in any relationship. But especially when dealing with a toddler. They still struggle with compassion and empathy and all those emotions that can be so important in a friendship.

But this is love.

You see his little leg over the car seat? And her little arm thrown over his shoulders? Precious.

'MATERS!!

I am so incredibly excited.

Why, you ask.

This is why...

Tomato plants. I'm very excited because I haven't had time or space to really grow a garden, although I've always wanted to. And although I still don't have time or space for a full blown garden, tomato plants are fairly easy to grow in big pots on the porch. So that is what I will do!

This year I will do a few tomato plants.I have six currently, 2 beef steak and 4 ruetgers. But I'm going to give my mom half of them to supplement her garden. I'm just going to grow 3. If the tomato plants go well this summer, next summer I would like to add maybe some pepper plants and some cucumber plants to my potted porch garden. I love growing things and find it incredibly rewarding to exercise my green thumb.

I'd like some additional ideas for plants I might could grow in pots next year if this year's operation goes well. So if you have any suggestions, please comment! Maybe in a couple of years my children won't be quite so difficult and I can till up a spot and have some strawberries, corn and asparagus. Because I absolutely LOVE those foods. I also love green beans and sweet peas, but I have a pretty small, hilly yard. The places that get good full sun are really limited.

And there's just something adorable about baby plants. How silly am I? But I think they're cute. I'm attached to them. I don't want any harm to befall them. I hope they grow up big and strong and do great things with their lives. I guess once a mom always a mom. Even if that child is small, green and leafy.

I went down to the basement this morning and found two good sized pots. Partially filled them with some of my peat moss potting soil that I had. Tomorrow I've got a big Walmart trip planned so I'm going to pick up one more pot and some Miracle Gro potting soil. The variety with the plant food and the moisture retention. Then tomorrow afternoon I'm going to be planting some maters.

I know it's silly to be so excited. But I can't help it. It's the little things in life that I derive great pleasure from. Reading a good book. Planting some flowers. Growing tomatoes. As a result, I tend to be a pretty happy person.

Emily was a little puzzled by my dragging pots out to the deck and digging around in the dirt part of the morning. She gets fussed at for that sort of activity...dragging things onto the porch...digging in the dirt. Nonetheless, I can tell she's excited about 'maters too. Evie is super excited about the playing in the dirt part. I had to shoo her away several times this morning because I didn't want to have to deal with giving her a bath before work. Tomorrow, when the real planting occurs she will get to help.

I'm also going to be picking up some nice flowers and making a couple of decorative pots to sit around on the deck. And I might even go by Lowes and get some paint for the deck. Because yet again my stupid deck needs painting. Once we get it painted this year though, we're putting a gate up and keeping the dogs out. Their little toenails and wild games are hard on the already weary wood. Plus, once we get a lockable gate up, I can take the babies onto the deck to play without having to constantly yell at Evie to get her little booty back up the steps. Hopefully in a couple more weeks my deck will be a fabulous place to enjoy some time outside. Tomato plants, flowers, and fresh paint. Ahhhh.

Evie and the Heifers

I just realized that I still haven't blogged about this and I'm kinda annoyed with myself since I have been drawing blanks most days on blog ideas. And all this time I had this one, with cute pictures to boot, and didn't even realize I hadn't already written it! What does that say about my state of mind? That I really thought I had already written this post? Probably bad things. I blame sleep deprivation. Babies do that to ya.

So, anyways, on Mother's Day we went to my grandmother's house. It was truly the highlight of my day. Well, my grandmother's house and the fantabulous brie and bacon quiche that I made for breakfast that morning.

My grandparents live near the Blue Ridge Parkway in the Appalachian Mountains. In case you don't live around here, is pronounced "Apple-latch-an" not "apple-lay-shan." I grew up there. And no one in the Appalachian mountains prounouces it like you outsiders do. So stop. You are driving me crazy. My grandparents and great grandparents lived on the family land my entire life and quite a bit before that. Unfortunately my great grandparents passed away when I was in college and my grandmother sold their house but the land is all still in the family. On that land my family has pretty much always had cattle. Beef cattle in fact.

My uncle owns the cattle these days. He and his wife make the daily rounds feeding and checking the cows, heifers, and calves. The solitary Angus bull lives in a small pasture by himself near their home when he's not in with the cows doing his job. The cows and calves are spread across different pastures depending on the time of year and what's going on with them. My uncle doesn't just sell steers and heifers for beef anymore. These days you make more money as a small family operated farm by selling heifers to big farmers for breeding. Or so I'm told. So my uncle and aunt spend a lot of time artificially inseminating heifer with sperm from award-winning bloodline bulls from around the country. Then raising those calves to sell to big farmers.

My uncle has mostly Angus blood in his herds now. But there are still some white faced calves with Hereford blood. The white-faced calves are my favorite. I personally love Herefords, the red cows with white faces, but Black Baldies, black cows with white faces (acheived by breeding Angus and Herefords), are pretty adorable too. My great grandfather had a few Brahman cattle in his herd. I remember those cows quite clearly because they were incredibly mean for some reason. Brahman look very exotic with their hump at their shoulders. The bull he had when I was little was incredibly huge. My second cousin inherited those cattle from Pa Booker, and as far as I know several of the cows still have some Brahman heritage. I don't know if they are any more docile these days or not.

(**Note: Heifer are females that have never had calves. Cows are females. Bulls are males. Calves are babies. Steers are bulls that have been castrated. Just to catch you up on the terminology...**)

I grew up around livestock. I have never thought much about the process of feeding cattle or taking care of farm business because I grew up with it. I learned that day that not everyone has such experience. My step dad and husband were somewhat in awe watching the cows trot across the pasture when they heard my uncle's truck crank. Cattle recognize the sound of the vehicle that feeds them, be it a truck, tractor, or whatever, and when they hear that bad boy coming...they come running. Andreas and Josh have never spent any time on a farm (City boys...lol) and just marvelled at that. The whole experience for them seemed pretty impressive. It was a little funny to me. I can't imagine not knowing all these things about farm life.

Of course Evie had an excuse. For one, she's not even two. And she hasn't spent any time yet on a farm. For another, she loves all animals and cows to her seem like big dogs. She stood at the fence and mooed at the cows. Laughing and talking to them. She put her hand through the fence and beckoned to the cows. Of course, they were super freaked out by these little person shrieking and mooing at them and huddled together a safe distance away to observe her.

Once they were fed they pretty much paid us zero mind. No matter what Evie did. But she was still pretty happy with the experience. Even if she didn't get to pet a cow like she wanted to. She stood at the fence and mooed and shrieked and waved. Happy as could be.

It was really neat to watch Evie savoring her farm experience. That is definitely one of my favorite parts of having kids...one of many of course. But watching them experience new things and seeing their reactions and how they learn and grow. It's just amazing.

Even if it is just spending 20 minutes watching my aunt and uncle feed some heifers. It was a great time.

UPDATE: Duck Grows

So, last Saturday, Evie acquired her first "for her" pet. I took the girls and met Mimi at the local Tractor Supply and we bought some chickens. Six to be exact and one of those has spots on his back and became Evie's chicken.

That chick's name is Duck. And I know you're all dying to know how he's doing.

Well, he's great. He's grown. Evie is still infatuated with him. She wants to go check on him every day first thing when we get to Mimi's. It's positively adorable. This summer we are planning on letting her interact with the chicks a lot. I hope that as a result when the chickens are adults they are still friendly and approachable. I am really excited about the future friendship for Evie and these chicks!

Of Dying Ducks and Buying Easter Eggs...Err...

I hope you all had a fabulous holiday weekend. If you didn't, well, you might not want to read ahead. Because I did. And I'm going to tell you all about how fabulous it was! No. Really.

I had a fabulous holiday weekend. Absolutely splendid! One of the best weekends I've had in awhile. It ended poorly, but the fact that they end at all is kind of a bummer. But I'll get to that later. Anywho.

My holiday weekend started on Friday night. After I finally got the girls in bed and asleep I boiled eggs for Evie.

I only boiled a dozen. I figured a 20 month-old wasn't going to have the attention span for any more than that. And I'm too old to color eggs for my own entertainment. So, an even dozen. And although it only rarely happens if I'm boiling eggs to eat, four of those eggs split. I was a little aggravated. I mean, Evie really wasn't going to care how pretty her eggs were. But I kind of did.

I plucked them from the water and plopped them back into the carton. Popped it into the fridge. And trotted my butt off to bed. It was after 11 by this time and I was EXHAUSTED. I had really high hopes for egg coloring on Saturday. And of course the chicken purchasing adventure was planned.

After our Walmart excursion and chicken purchasing, me and the girls returned home for lunch and some time with Daddy. I got everything set up for egg coloring and after lunch stripped Evie down and let her have at it.

Evie was incredibly impressed by the fizzing tablets in their clear cups. How fortunate I was to have these clear plastic cups on hand as well! I'd love to say that I had planned it this way. But it was just luck and my husband remembering that we had them while I was digging through the cabinets cursing my general lack of small, squat cups.

"Why don't you just use those clear plastic cups? Do we still have them?"

I had to pick my jaw up from the floor to go dig through the pantry to find them. I couldn't believe my husband had this idea and I hadn't! But next year, I hope to remember this, because it worked perfectly. No stains in my cups or mess to clean up. No extra dishes. Just throw them away! It was great.

The eggs looked pretty, soaking away. Evie was impressed. However, Evie wasn't particularly interested in coloring. While I had anticipated having to wrestle her for dye cups and a tremendous mess all over my kitchen, there was practically none.

Evie marveled at the little eggs scoops when it was time to get the eggs out. But otherwise, she happily sat in her high chair munching on one of the hard-boiled eggs. Yeah. Right off the bat, she reached into the carton, grabbed one of the ugly eggs, peeled it and started chomping away. Go figure. I've never seen her express any interest in eggs before. Now she'd rather sit and snack on one that make a huge mess with cups of dye. But she was happy. So I put eggs in the colors she indicated. We waited while they turned. Then I placed them back into the carton, letting her point to the ones she liked. Then it was clean up and nap time.

It was all incredibly laid back. Nearly disappointingly so. I had the video camera on standby to record the wild hilarity of it all. And there was nothing but Evie eating an egg while I colored 11 others.

When she got up from her nap on Saturday, she wanted to call Mimi to ask how Duck was. She went to the door and pointed outside and started yelling "Duck!" until I called Mimi. It was adorable. But the rest of the day was without incident.


Sunday was incredibly hectic. This was my first holiday with two babies. Getting the three of us up, fed and dressed for a regular day when the babies' appearances don't matter is hard enough. Getting us all out the door dressed to impress in our Easter best...(I didn't mean for that to sound so Suessy) wow. What a challenge! I don't know if it is more or less of a challenge that Elly is still so young. She's easier to dress and I don't have to worry about her falling down and getting her dress dirty. Instead I have to worry about her puking on herself or deciding she's hungry when it's time for us to leave. I was afraid to dress Evie too early, afraid to dress her too late. And of course, Josh was at work and therefore no help!

Believe it or not, we made it to church on time. The girls in their adorable matching dresses. Me...well, I was dressed in a dress. But it was nothing to write home about.

After church my parents came back to my house for Evie's very first Easter egg hunt and some lunch. I couldn't believe how quickly Evie picked up on Easter egg hunting. After a brief debacle where she had to fight the beagle off of one of her eggs and we discovered that the beagle had gone and eaten the eggs she could get to, it went quickly and smoothly.

Lunch was ham, mashed potatoes, corn on the cob, macaroni and cheese, and yeast rolls. Carb heavy but simple. And delicious! Josh got home before supper time and we had a great family evening.

Then yesterday I took off work to take Elly to another doctor's appointment with the plastic surgeon about her hemangioma. Got great news there. No growth and the doc thought that since it wasn't growing yet it may not. Another great evening with my little family since Josh was off work.

So all in all, the "duck" buying and Easter egg dying went fabulously! It was an awesome weekend. Wish I could take three day weekends more often!

Hope you enjoyed yours as well.

Evie's first "Pet"

Every year during the spring the local farm supply store, Tractor Supply, has what they call "Chick Days." Several weeks where they sell chicks and baby ducks. Some stores even sell rabbits, turkeys and guineas. But being a small area, we don't quite rank that sort of selection.

A few weeks ago I sent Josh and Evie to pick up dog food from Tractor Supply. They're honestly the cheapest place in town to get decent quality dog food. And when they got home Josh told me that Evie absolutely freaked out over the chickens. She loved them! I know Evie loves dogs and she is open to liking cats, but I didn't know that her affections extended to our feathered friends as well. Of course she likes watching the birds out the window on the bird feeders. But then they're flitting around and flying. They're pretty interesting. But chickens? I had no idea.

Well, my mom has been wanting to get some chickens for her back yard. She's got a fenced in area and wants to put chickens and rabbits there. Although my step dad doesn't really want farm animals he doesn't have the ability to tell his granddaughter "no" so when my mom told him that the chickens were for Evie...well, he caved.

I spent some time researching what kind of chicken we wanted on the website. The Dominques were supposed to reproduce and be pretty docile. They were a blackish colored chick so they'd be easy to pick out. 

The day before Easter seemed like the perfect time to go get Evie a chicken. So this morning I dressed her for the occasion and asked her if she wanted to go get a chicken. Her answer was of course, "Yeah, yeah!"

So we met her Mimi at Tractor Supply. She beat us there and called to tell us they had already sold out of everything but the little yellow chicks. Ah well. Evie wouldn't know the difference. They keep the chicks and ducks in these huge metal tubs under heat lamps. Evie saw the ducks first and stood pointing yelling "Duck, duck, duck, duck, duck!" The other customers were pretty amused. Several stopped to watch her pet a couple of baby ducks.

Then it was time to pick out chicks. We got one with brown spots on its back. That's specifically Evie's chicken.

She was very fascinated watching the chicks. Although she did keep calling them ducks.

But she quickly moved on to "Mine, Mine, Mine."

After we told her a few times to be easy and to just pet the chicken, she got the hang of it.

Then after every time she managed to pet one of the chicks, she would clap her hands excitedly.

It was adorable.

So meet Evie's first pet. The first pet bought solely for Evie. He (or she) is a chicken. And I think she's going to call him Duck.

Happy Easter everyone!