So, I've always thought that baby showers were for the baby. Up until I was pregnant with my second child, I had never heard of any rule of etiquette that said that second babies don't get showers. I have always seen showers as a celebration. Sure, people get presents, sorta like with birthdays. But its a party to celebrate either an upcoming nuptial, the birth of a baby, whatever. So it kind of blew my mind that subsequent children aren't "supposed" to receive a shower, especially if they are the same gender as the first child. Harsh!
Well, I disagree and fortunately, so does my mom. She's throwing lil Miss Ellynor a baby "sprinkle" this Saturday and I'm so excited. With Evie, honestly, I was excited about the stuff we'd get. I was so excited about becoming a mom and part of the baby process was getting all the baby stuff and getting the house ready. Well, this time we don't so much need "stuff" for when Elly arrives. We've got a crib, changing table, bottles, bibs, burp cloths, diaper bag, etc. The nursery is ready and we've got the pack-n-play set up in our bedroom. Heck the hospital bag is packed and ready to go. But we're definitely going to need a lot of support from our family and friends to survive this adventure. That's why I'm excited to see everyone this weekend.
Many of our closest family and friends will be coming to our home, to eat some food and spend some time. And while I'm super excited about the little party, I'm still not sure why second babies don't "deserve" a celebration. I mean, I know people who have like four or five showers for one baby. You know, they have different groups of friends, say the girls from work throw them a shower, and the women from their church and then their family. So they end up getting truckloads of stuff. So if its within proper etiquette for them to have multiple showers for one, surely the rule against showers for a second child isn't an anti-greed thing. Because having more than two showers for one baby seems pretty overboard to me.
The idea that its greedy to have a shower for a second baby seems archaic to me. Granted, you really don't need all the big expensive items the second time around. Or usually you don't. If you are like me and have two under two, you may well need a second crib, second changing table, second high chair, second stroller, etc. Even though we had all the basic nursery furniture, Evie is still using some of her "baby" things, like her pack-n-play. And there were some things that we didn't have with Evie that I really wish we did, like a bouncer seat and a nice digital thermometer. Then we needed to upgrade some things so that we could accommodate two babies, like my in-laws got us a double stroller.
Regardless of how far apart your children are, raising a baby for the first year is incredibly expensive. I was dumbfounded at first by the amount of diapers and wipes Evie went through. The huge stack from the shower that I felt sure would last us months didn't even last through my maternity leave. We found ourselves buying diapers for that girl weekly for awhile. And they are NOT cheap! Then when we switched to formula feeding there was another huge expense. Especially since Evie had reflux and was put on soy formula for several months. It was nearly $30 a can and the can lasted about 2 weeks. (You can look at baby pictures and tell Evie LOVED to eat, hehe) With all the expenses that new parents find themselves handed (and this is of course not even thinking about the tremendous medical bills that a pregnancy and hospital stay can create) why not throw them a party and get them stuff? Buy them some diapers, some wipes, some formula, some baby powder and diaper ointment. Lord knows they'll need it.
Personally, if any of my friends have two, three, four, five...whatever...kids I don't see anything wrong with them having a shower. And I will be there!
Some other interesting rules of shower etiquette:
*The family isn't supposed to throw the shower. It's greedy.
*Baby showers for subsequent children didn't really become mainstream until the 20th century.
*A proper shower doesn't allow the husbands to come...ladies only! Poor guys!
*Registries are a no-no! It's rude to tell people what to buy you.
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