The first time you are pregnant, you can't wait to start showing. The first few months of waiting for your belly to pooch out are cruel. You cannot wait for that belly so that everyone that sees you knows that you're pregnant.
Subsequent pregnancies, you don't have to wait. Or at least I haven't had to. When the hormones hit my abdominal muscles they know JUST what to do. And they do it. And then this little momma is wearing maternity pants at the beginning of the second trimester. It has been interesting to watch my body change with each pregnancy. The differences, the similarities. Each baby grows its own way and makes my body its home.
The most interesting difference this time hasn't been when I show. I actually waited longer this time to start showing than I did with Elly. I was already pretty big at Evie's first birthday, and unless something crazy happens in the next couple of weeks, that won't be the case this time. I hope that means I won't be as humongous as I was with Elly. But I doubt I will be so lucky! The interesting part has been the fact that I'm already measuring ahead...and that doesn't typically happen until the second trimester. I've had a bigger belly in previous pregnancies. But the part the doc measures is the uterus height. Not the fat, bloating, constipation, etc. that causes extra belly. But just the uterus. And I know I've got belly from the icky stuff. But this time I've been able to really feel and even SEE my uterus grow.
At my last appointment, the doc said I was measuring one month ahead. One month! So I'm very anxious for my next ultrasound, and seeing if this extra growth is all uterus or all baby. On one hand I'm hoping its baby...since that's the healthiest way to grow. But at the same time, I don't want to have a 12 pounder!
Maybe by the ultrasound it will all have balanced out. Who knows
I do like having the lil baby bump. The next four or five months are the really enjoyable ones of pregnancy. Most of the woes and worries of the first trimester are behind me. I have more energy and look pregnant, but am not so pregnant that I'm miserable.
And sometime in the next few weeks I will probably be feeling baby move! I felt Elly at 14 weeks and Evie at 16. Depending on where the placenta is and all of course. I have felt some small flutters in the last week. I know a doctor will probably tell me it is just gas bubbles or whatever...but I can tell the difference. And its only been when I am sitting in such a way that my tummy is kinda cramped. I am looking forward to the real kicks and flips and hiccups. That is one of my favorite parts of pregnancy!
Thursday, July 26, 2012
Goodbye First Trimester
Well, if the speedy passing of the first trimester is any indication of how quickly the rest of the pregnancy is going to go, I better start doing more blogging or I won't remember any of it!
I cannot believe I am already finishing up my first trimester of my third pregnancy. It has been a very busy few years and I wouldn't change any of it, honestly. I am so glad that my third child is going to be close in age to the first two (but not quite as close as them! haha). Elly will be nearly two when #3 comes along and Evie will be 3.5.
I have done the math and redone the math and I'm pretty sure I will have nearly 3 months of time off accrued to enjoy with the new baby. Plus some QT with my older two! And that should be a sufficient time to get the littlest one on schedule with the others. Hopefully. Of course I will only have that much time if I manage to not take any more time off in the next 6 months. Which, after my bout yesterday with a stomach bug (or something), may be more challenging than anticipated.
I might just be more excited about this pregnancy and baby than the other two. I hope that doesn't sound bad. But unlike my previous pregnancies, I really feel like I know what to expect all around this time. Not that I don't know there could be a monkey wrench thrown in any day. I know things can change. With Evie, it was my first time for all of it. I didn't know what to expect from pregnancy, labor, birth or a new baby. No clue. And despite all my reading and preparing I still couldn't have been truly ready for parenthood. With Elly, I expected everything to go like my first pregnancy, which it didn't. And I expected labor and delivery to be way faster, which it wasn't. And I expected things to be pretty simple when we brought her home, which couldn't have been further from the truth. I thought that since I had done the newborn thing once, it would be easy to do again. I didn't realize how much harder it would be with another child. Or how much more difficult things would be with the first child when we added a second baby to the equation.
Pregnancy is made some what easier by having two other children to take care of. Well, not easier I guess. But certainly speedier. There is no time to sit around and moon over being pregnant and pine over how much longer until the baby comes. Those 4 weeks between appointments that dragged by with the first pregnancy are gone in a flash this time around. I have jokingly wondered if I could push the appointments to maybe every 6 weeks because I just don't have time to go to the doctor every month! I dunno how I will manage twice a month and weekly appointments towards the end. And there isn't time to sit around and be sore or lie around with my feet up. There is far too much to do between girls, work and the house.
And this time, I feel like even though this pregnancy is way different than the previous two, I'm a bit more prepared for it this time. The second time every little thing made me worry because I hadn't dealt with it when I was pregnant the first time. Now it's "Eh, feels like stretching pains," or "Back pain from overdoing it," or "Cramps from not peeing often enough." I've been through pretty much all the normal stuff at this point, most of it twice, so I feel like I can trust my judgment on when I should worry and when to call the doctor. Maybe that just comes from being a more experienced mom at this point. It kinda helps prepare for a lot of different things.
I know that bringing home a new baby will be incredibly challenging. And I am going to try breastfeeding this time. So that's going to add a whole new level to the challenge. Last time I may have been overly optimistic. I wasn't prepared for how exhausted I was going to be or how difficult Evie would become. And nothing could have prepared me for the trial of having Elly hospitalized at 10 days old.
But I am excited and hopeful. The next 6 months are going to be busy, even without the pregnancy. With the pregnancy, it's going to be a bit wild. Elly's third and final procedure is next Friday. I have another doctor's appointment, including an ultrasound (YAY!) the next week. Evie's THIRD birthday is just a couple weeks after, with her third birthday party, which will be fun but a busy couple of days. Then September is my birthday, my nephew's second birthday and the big 20 week ultrasound. I will be finishing up Christmas shopping, picking out Halloween costumes, switching out summer wardrobe for winter, and finally getting to buy stuff for the new baby in October. Then there will be Halloween, decorating for fall, followed by Thanksgiving. I will, of course, be working on Turkey Day. But I'm hoping that my family will be able to get together that weekend for a big celebratory meal at my house. Hopefully my husband will let me decorate for Christmas the week of Thanksgiving again this year. I liked having the tree up and the house all pretty when family came last year. I would like to do that again. Then it will be my absolute favorite time of the year, CHRISTMAS! Sugar cookies, and gingerbread houses and lights and maybe a little snow. Christmas is going to be even more fun this year with Evie and Elly. And then once Christmas is over and the tree is packed back up and all the lights are put away...I will have between 4-6 weeks to get ready for a baby.
So see, it's really going to be a pretty busy rest of the year!
I cannot believe I am already finishing up my first trimester of my third pregnancy. It has been a very busy few years and I wouldn't change any of it, honestly. I am so glad that my third child is going to be close in age to the first two (but not quite as close as them! haha). Elly will be nearly two when #3 comes along and Evie will be 3.5.
I have done the math and redone the math and I'm pretty sure I will have nearly 3 months of time off accrued to enjoy with the new baby. Plus some QT with my older two! And that should be a sufficient time to get the littlest one on schedule with the others. Hopefully. Of course I will only have that much time if I manage to not take any more time off in the next 6 months. Which, after my bout yesterday with a stomach bug (or something), may be more challenging than anticipated.
I might just be more excited about this pregnancy and baby than the other two. I hope that doesn't sound bad. But unlike my previous pregnancies, I really feel like I know what to expect all around this time. Not that I don't know there could be a monkey wrench thrown in any day. I know things can change. With Evie, it was my first time for all of it. I didn't know what to expect from pregnancy, labor, birth or a new baby. No clue. And despite all my reading and preparing I still couldn't have been truly ready for parenthood. With Elly, I expected everything to go like my first pregnancy, which it didn't. And I expected labor and delivery to be way faster, which it wasn't. And I expected things to be pretty simple when we brought her home, which couldn't have been further from the truth. I thought that since I had done the newborn thing once, it would be easy to do again. I didn't realize how much harder it would be with another child. Or how much more difficult things would be with the first child when we added a second baby to the equation.
Pregnancy is made some what easier by having two other children to take care of. Well, not easier I guess. But certainly speedier. There is no time to sit around and moon over being pregnant and pine over how much longer until the baby comes. Those 4 weeks between appointments that dragged by with the first pregnancy are gone in a flash this time around. I have jokingly wondered if I could push the appointments to maybe every 6 weeks because I just don't have time to go to the doctor every month! I dunno how I will manage twice a month and weekly appointments towards the end. And there isn't time to sit around and be sore or lie around with my feet up. There is far too much to do between girls, work and the house.
And this time, I feel like even though this pregnancy is way different than the previous two, I'm a bit more prepared for it this time. The second time every little thing made me worry because I hadn't dealt with it when I was pregnant the first time. Now it's "Eh, feels like stretching pains," or "Back pain from overdoing it," or "Cramps from not peeing often enough." I've been through pretty much all the normal stuff at this point, most of it twice, so I feel like I can trust my judgment on when I should worry and when to call the doctor. Maybe that just comes from being a more experienced mom at this point. It kinda helps prepare for a lot of different things.
I know that bringing home a new baby will be incredibly challenging. And I am going to try breastfeeding this time. So that's going to add a whole new level to the challenge. Last time I may have been overly optimistic. I wasn't prepared for how exhausted I was going to be or how difficult Evie would become. And nothing could have prepared me for the trial of having Elly hospitalized at 10 days old.
But I am excited and hopeful. The next 6 months are going to be busy, even without the pregnancy. With the pregnancy, it's going to be a bit wild. Elly's third and final procedure is next Friday. I have another doctor's appointment, including an ultrasound (YAY!) the next week. Evie's THIRD birthday is just a couple weeks after, with her third birthday party, which will be fun but a busy couple of days. Then September is my birthday, my nephew's second birthday and the big 20 week ultrasound. I will be finishing up Christmas shopping, picking out Halloween costumes, switching out summer wardrobe for winter, and finally getting to buy stuff for the new baby in October. Then there will be Halloween, decorating for fall, followed by Thanksgiving. I will, of course, be working on Turkey Day. But I'm hoping that my family will be able to get together that weekend for a big celebratory meal at my house. Hopefully my husband will let me decorate for Christmas the week of Thanksgiving again this year. I liked having the tree up and the house all pretty when family came last year. I would like to do that again. Then it will be my absolute favorite time of the year, CHRISTMAS! Sugar cookies, and gingerbread houses and lights and maybe a little snow. Christmas is going to be even more fun this year with Evie and Elly. And then once Christmas is over and the tree is packed back up and all the lights are put away...I will have between 4-6 weeks to get ready for a baby.
So see, it's really going to be a pretty busy rest of the year!
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
It's official
So. It's public. I am pregnant.
I've peed on a few sticks. Peed in a cup. And I've even seen the baby on an ultrasound!
So I'm really pregnant.
Before you even ask, yes, we wanted a third one. No, this is not an accident. Yes, we know what causes that. And no, we weren't trying for a boy, though my husband will probably dance a jig if this baby has dangley bits at the 20 week ultrasound.
I blogged a few months ago about the difficult decision to have additional children. After much discussion, my husband and I decided that we did want another child. Now, here we are. Number three is due in February 2013.
So far, things are going well. Morning sickness has been mild. I have been super exhausted and needing a lot of sleep. But as long as I go to bed when the girls do and don't stay up watching television, I feel okay. That means I'm getting about 9-10 hours of sleep most nights. Which is pretty crazy since I used to get about 6-8 hours of sleep. I am not doing nearly as much around the house as I was. My husband has banned me from using the stairs to the basement which means no more laundry. And he has been doing a LOT of the cooking and cleaning. I know I will have the energy to resume a lot of that once the first trimester is over, but for now it is REALLY nice to just rest. Means I get to spend a lot more time watching my babies play. And it's really touching that my husband has done so much to step up and help out.
I have also felt a lot more of the "stretching" pains super early. In the last two pregnancies, I remember having stretching pains, ligaments and joins and muscles that have to accommodate that big ole uterus, but it wasn't until I had a big ole uterus. Right now my uterus is about the size of an orange. Not really very big! So, I find the pains to be a little puzzling. But the nurses assure me it's completely normal, especially in later pregnancies. Apparently since my body has done this twice before, the moment those pregnancy hormones hit my body resumed "pregnancy mode."
Even though I'm only 6.5 weeks, I can already see a difference in my body. I haven't gained any pregnancy weight but my pants are tighter. My belly is bit more poochy. I'm looking forward to the bigger boobs. I have missed them! haha. But I didn't miss my clothes not fitting!
Only 5 weeks left of my first trimester. This pregnancy is already flying by! And I'm going to a new OB this time. Was tired of the drive to my old doctor and they have gotten so popular that it is nearly impossible to get an appointment. While I will miss the staff and familiarity of my previous doctor's office, it is nice to have a 10 minute drive instead of 30-45 minutes. And when I had some spotting/bleeding last week, my old doctor's office told me they could see me in July. The new one got me in yesterday. So, I'm already pretty happy with my decision.
I guess a new pregnancy will certainly give me something to blog about. Maybe I can remember to post more than once a month! haha. Maybe.
And I'm already having humorous preggo stories.
Like, when I first told Evie that we were going to have another baby, she literally got up and walked off. Told me that she didn't want to talk about it. Of course, later, she came back and asked questions. Wanted to make sure that the baby wasn't going to mess up her birthday (which is pretty huge for her right now!) and wanted to make sure that Christmas wouldn't be affected. I assured her that the baby wouldn't be here until after her birthday and Christmas. I also explained that Evie would be promoted to "Biggest" sister and Elly would become the "Big" sister and Evie was SUPER excited about that. Of course, Evie has told me she wants a little brother. We shall see.
Last week, I watched Tangled with my family, all of us piled up on the couch, and at the end when Eugene/Flynn dies I started crying. Now, I have seen this movie a hundred times. I have never cried, never even sniffled, when he died. This time it was full on fountain of tears. Evie took my hand and asked "Momma...what's wrong?" When I answered nothing, she continued to stare at me...a bit incredulous that I was crying. "Momma...this is a happy ending." Of course I couldn't explain silly hormones. "Momma, it's going to be okay. Rapunzel is going to heal him. It's okay." I'm not sure which of us was more relieved when I finally stopped crying. Josh laughed the whole time.
And just as a random side note: All I want to eat is Spam. Spam. Spam. And more spam. Yummy. Fried Eggs with fried spam on toast with mayo and a thick slice of cheddar cheese is HEAVENLY. It's the strangest thing.
Oh, and I've been having numerous zombie apocalypse dreams. Dunno what is up with that.
I've peed on a few sticks. Peed in a cup. And I've even seen the baby on an ultrasound!
So I'm really pregnant.
Before you even ask, yes, we wanted a third one. No, this is not an accident. Yes, we know what causes that. And no, we weren't trying for a boy, though my husband will probably dance a jig if this baby has dangley bits at the 20 week ultrasound.
I blogged a few months ago about the difficult decision to have additional children. After much discussion, my husband and I decided that we did want another child. Now, here we are. Number three is due in February 2013.
So far, things are going well. Morning sickness has been mild. I have been super exhausted and needing a lot of sleep. But as long as I go to bed when the girls do and don't stay up watching television, I feel okay. That means I'm getting about 9-10 hours of sleep most nights. Which is pretty crazy since I used to get about 6-8 hours of sleep. I am not doing nearly as much around the house as I was. My husband has banned me from using the stairs to the basement which means no more laundry. And he has been doing a LOT of the cooking and cleaning. I know I will have the energy to resume a lot of that once the first trimester is over, but for now it is REALLY nice to just rest. Means I get to spend a lot more time watching my babies play. And it's really touching that my husband has done so much to step up and help out.
I have also felt a lot more of the "stretching" pains super early. In the last two pregnancies, I remember having stretching pains, ligaments and joins and muscles that have to accommodate that big ole uterus, but it wasn't until I had a big ole uterus. Right now my uterus is about the size of an orange. Not really very big! So, I find the pains to be a little puzzling. But the nurses assure me it's completely normal, especially in later pregnancies. Apparently since my body has done this twice before, the moment those pregnancy hormones hit my body resumed "pregnancy mode."
Even though I'm only 6.5 weeks, I can already see a difference in my body. I haven't gained any pregnancy weight but my pants are tighter. My belly is bit more poochy. I'm looking forward to the bigger boobs. I have missed them! haha. But I didn't miss my clothes not fitting!
Only 5 weeks left of my first trimester. This pregnancy is already flying by! And I'm going to a new OB this time. Was tired of the drive to my old doctor and they have gotten so popular that it is nearly impossible to get an appointment. While I will miss the staff and familiarity of my previous doctor's office, it is nice to have a 10 minute drive instead of 30-45 minutes. And when I had some spotting/bleeding last week, my old doctor's office told me they could see me in July. The new one got me in yesterday. So, I'm already pretty happy with my decision.
I guess a new pregnancy will certainly give me something to blog about. Maybe I can remember to post more than once a month! haha. Maybe.
And I'm already having humorous preggo stories.
Like, when I first told Evie that we were going to have another baby, she literally got up and walked off. Told me that she didn't want to talk about it. Of course, later, she came back and asked questions. Wanted to make sure that the baby wasn't going to mess up her birthday (which is pretty huge for her right now!) and wanted to make sure that Christmas wouldn't be affected. I assured her that the baby wouldn't be here until after her birthday and Christmas. I also explained that Evie would be promoted to "Biggest" sister and Elly would become the "Big" sister and Evie was SUPER excited about that. Of course, Evie has told me she wants a little brother. We shall see.
Last week, I watched Tangled with my family, all of us piled up on the couch, and at the end when Eugene/Flynn dies I started crying. Now, I have seen this movie a hundred times. I have never cried, never even sniffled, when he died. This time it was full on fountain of tears. Evie took my hand and asked "Momma...what's wrong?" When I answered nothing, she continued to stare at me...a bit incredulous that I was crying. "Momma...this is a happy ending." Of course I couldn't explain silly hormones. "Momma, it's going to be okay. Rapunzel is going to heal him. It's okay." I'm not sure which of us was more relieved when I finally stopped crying. Josh laughed the whole time.
And just as a random side note: All I want to eat is Spam. Spam. Spam. And more spam. Yummy. Fried Eggs with fried spam on toast with mayo and a thick slice of cheddar cheese is HEAVENLY. It's the strangest thing.
Oh, and I've been having numerous zombie apocalypse dreams. Dunno what is up with that.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
How Dare They Ask...
So, I know the Internet is absolutely going ape s*** over the Time magazine cover. And despite my initial reluctance to weigh in...I decided to do it.
I find the Time cover to be incredibly offensive.
There. I said it. I'm going to be honest though. I haven't read the story. And probably won't bring myself to. I have read stories and blogs on extended breastfeeding as well as attachment parenting. While I don't personally buy it, I believe that within reasonable limits, parents should be able to make choices regarding how they raise their children. And if they want to breastfeed their five year-old...more power to them. Ick. But whatever.
What I find so incredibly insulting is the accompanying headline, "Are You Mom Enough?".
How dare anyone call out mothers over something so silly and insignificant as how they choose to feed their child. With all the insanity in the world today bottle vs. breast seems to be getting way too much hype. I feel like it is for all the wrong reasons. Call moms out for spending more time with friends than their kids. Or for doing drugs in front of their kids. For texting and driving with their kids. Or for letting their kids watch age-inappropriate television. Whatever. But for using a bottle instead of a breast?!?
I support breast feeding. I have read the research supporting breastfeeding. But what I REALLY support is mothers. Mothers being able to care for their babies in the best way, not just for the baby, but for the whole family. Some women aren't comfortable with breastfeeding. Some women aren't able to breastfeed. And some women darn near kill themselves trying because they have been so guilted into it by some other woman's BS superiority complex. They push themselves so hard and feel worthless and useless because they can't feed their baby the way they have been told by all the "good" books that they should. Or maybe they are only able to feed for the first couple of days or the first couple of months. Maybe the baby has a milk allergy or reflux or a weak tongue or won't latch.
How dare ANYONE make that woman feel like less of a mom!!
I breastfed Evie for almost the first 6 weeks. Before returning to work, I introduced a bottle and when I did, my milk supply pretty much dried right up. Despite my intentions to continue breastfeeding part-time, my body was in an all or nothing sort of mood and chose to not cooperate. And I honestly was relieved. With bottles, other people could feed her. I could sleep. It was so much easier. But I felt pretty good for having tried.
With Elly, I chose to not even attempt breast feeding. Evie wasn't even 18 months old when she became a big sister. She was still a baby herself. And I knew before we even brought Elly home, that it was not going to be feasible for me to take care of my big baby and breastfeed my little baby. I knew I needed all the help I could get and one of the ways I was going to need help was going to be with feeding the little one. And obviously, if I chose to breastfeed, no one else would be able to help with that. Looking back, at times I wish I had tried to breastfeed her, but I know that it would not have worked and it would have left me even more exhausted and overwhelmed than I was.
I refused to feel guilty for not being able to feed Evie longer or for not choosing to breastfeed Elly. But I am not surprised by the number of mothers who do feel guilty and like less of a woman for not being willing or able to breastfeed. I am surprised by the continued attack on the those women.
As mothers, we need to stick together. I feel like one of my "responsibilities" as a mom is to help encourage and support fellow mothers. My greatest assets over the last 4 years, from first plus sign to now, has been my mom friends. Those with older children and those who are just starting. Because your whole life changes when you get pregnant. Above and beyond what you could ever dream. And once you see that mooshed up face and hear that first choked cry, you will never be the same. You really will spend the rest of your life with a big chunk of your heart walking around outside your body.
Being a mom is hard! And our partners in the parenthood experience, our husbands, generally don't understand what it truly means to be a mom, not REALLY. So who else can we turn to except other moms? And what will we do when in typical female fashion, we are all catty and snippy and hateful to those other moms? They didn't create healthy sleep patterns in their newborns, and they didn't wait to introduce solids, and they have a family bed, and their kid is a biter, and can you believe she chose to bottle feed that poor baby? Why do women do this to each other? It makes me sad for my daughters. I cherish my mom friends regardless of the different decisions that they made when it came to raising their children. I refuse to think less of them for those choices or to judge them. Though I do admit to occasional mom-envy: for a fellow mom's unbelievably well-mannered two-year-old or an almost-too-perfect marriage. I may not always agree with their parenting decisions, but I figure unless they're doing something to endanger the lives of their kids it's not my business.
If you want to breastfeed your child until they start middle school...whatever. If you answer your child's every whimper...more power to you. Just leave me out of it. I take very good care of my kids without dropping everything to run to their aid every time they make a displeased sound. Their boo-boos get kissed, they get plenty of hugs and snuggles, and I listen to them when they speak to me. But they also have to work through some of their own issues. They squabble some and they cry. They don't get what they want when they whine. (I hate hate hate whining!) I let them make mistakes because that is how they learn. I put them in time out when they mess up. I don't do everything right. I make mistakes. But I'm a good mom. Regardless of how long I breastfed.
I feel like Time did this piece only to receive this sensational response. Not really to raise awareness for a serious issue or promote anything. I don't feel like breastfeeding or attachment parenting is getting any "positive" press for this article. Instead it has drawn a line in the sand. Placing moms on each side with children in the middle.
I find the Time cover to be incredibly offensive.
There. I said it. I'm going to be honest though. I haven't read the story. And probably won't bring myself to. I have read stories and blogs on extended breastfeeding as well as attachment parenting. While I don't personally buy it, I believe that within reasonable limits, parents should be able to make choices regarding how they raise their children. And if they want to breastfeed their five year-old...more power to them. Ick. But whatever.
What I find so incredibly insulting is the accompanying headline, "Are You Mom Enough?".
How dare anyone call out mothers over something so silly and insignificant as how they choose to feed their child. With all the insanity in the world today bottle vs. breast seems to be getting way too much hype. I feel like it is for all the wrong reasons. Call moms out for spending more time with friends than their kids. Or for doing drugs in front of their kids. For texting and driving with their kids. Or for letting their kids watch age-inappropriate television. Whatever. But for using a bottle instead of a breast?!?
I support breast feeding. I have read the research supporting breastfeeding. But what I REALLY support is mothers. Mothers being able to care for their babies in the best way, not just for the baby, but for the whole family. Some women aren't comfortable with breastfeeding. Some women aren't able to breastfeed. And some women darn near kill themselves trying because they have been so guilted into it by some other woman's BS superiority complex. They push themselves so hard and feel worthless and useless because they can't feed their baby the way they have been told by all the "good" books that they should. Or maybe they are only able to feed for the first couple of days or the first couple of months. Maybe the baby has a milk allergy or reflux or a weak tongue or won't latch.
How dare ANYONE make that woman feel like less of a mom!!
I breastfed Evie for almost the first 6 weeks. Before returning to work, I introduced a bottle and when I did, my milk supply pretty much dried right up. Despite my intentions to continue breastfeeding part-time, my body was in an all or nothing sort of mood and chose to not cooperate. And I honestly was relieved. With bottles, other people could feed her. I could sleep. It was so much easier. But I felt pretty good for having tried.
With Elly, I chose to not even attempt breast feeding. Evie wasn't even 18 months old when she became a big sister. She was still a baby herself. And I knew before we even brought Elly home, that it was not going to be feasible for me to take care of my big baby and breastfeed my little baby. I knew I needed all the help I could get and one of the ways I was going to need help was going to be with feeding the little one. And obviously, if I chose to breastfeed, no one else would be able to help with that. Looking back, at times I wish I had tried to breastfeed her, but I know that it would not have worked and it would have left me even more exhausted and overwhelmed than I was.
I refused to feel guilty for not being able to feed Evie longer or for not choosing to breastfeed Elly. But I am not surprised by the number of mothers who do feel guilty and like less of a woman for not being willing or able to breastfeed. I am surprised by the continued attack on the those women.
As mothers, we need to stick together. I feel like one of my "responsibilities" as a mom is to help encourage and support fellow mothers. My greatest assets over the last 4 years, from first plus sign to now, has been my mom friends. Those with older children and those who are just starting. Because your whole life changes when you get pregnant. Above and beyond what you could ever dream. And once you see that mooshed up face and hear that first choked cry, you will never be the same. You really will spend the rest of your life with a big chunk of your heart walking around outside your body.
Being a mom is hard! And our partners in the parenthood experience, our husbands, generally don't understand what it truly means to be a mom, not REALLY. So who else can we turn to except other moms? And what will we do when in typical female fashion, we are all catty and snippy and hateful to those other moms? They didn't create healthy sleep patterns in their newborns, and they didn't wait to introduce solids, and they have a family bed, and their kid is a biter, and can you believe she chose to bottle feed that poor baby? Why do women do this to each other? It makes me sad for my daughters. I cherish my mom friends regardless of the different decisions that they made when it came to raising their children. I refuse to think less of them for those choices or to judge them. Though I do admit to occasional mom-envy: for a fellow mom's unbelievably well-mannered two-year-old or an almost-too-perfect marriage. I may not always agree with their parenting decisions, but I figure unless they're doing something to endanger the lives of their kids it's not my business.
If you want to breastfeed your child until they start middle school...whatever. If you answer your child's every whimper...more power to you. Just leave me out of it. I take very good care of my kids without dropping everything to run to their aid every time they make a displeased sound. Their boo-boos get kissed, they get plenty of hugs and snuggles, and I listen to them when they speak to me. But they also have to work through some of their own issues. They squabble some and they cry. They don't get what they want when they whine. (I hate hate hate whining!) I let them make mistakes because that is how they learn. I put them in time out when they mess up. I don't do everything right. I make mistakes. But I'm a good mom. Regardless of how long I breastfed.
I feel like Time did this piece only to receive this sensational response. Not really to raise awareness for a serious issue or promote anything. I don't feel like breastfeeding or attachment parenting is getting any "positive" press for this article. Instead it has drawn a line in the sand. Placing moms on each side with children in the middle.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
My New Thing
So I have recently somehow managed to discover that I love tea.
No. Not sweet tea. Yes, I have been drinking it all of my memorable life. And yes, I do love it.
But I have discovered that I LOVE - in all caps here - LOVE hot tea. It's become a neat sort of fascination. I've spent time online looking up new flavors to try and cannot wait to finish off a box so I can try something new.
Yeah...I'm pretty sure all my co-workers have decided that I've lost my mind.
It all started because I wanted to cut out my daily diet soda. Since I had Elly, I've only allowed myself one diet soda per day. Typically a Diet Dr. Pepper. And I drink it with my lunch every day. During my weight loss journey I read that a cup of hot Green Tea in the afternoon could help with weight loss. So I started drinking a hot tea in the afternoons with a small snack. And even though I'm not trying to lose weight now, I continue to have my cup of tea because I discovered I really enjoyed it.
Keep in mind, I'm the type of person who would love to sit around and drink hot coffee all day. Except I just cannot do the caffeine. If I have coffee in the afternoon, I'm up all night. So coffee was never an option. But tea, all teas, have dramatically less caffeine than a cup of coffee.
So, as I attempted to cut out my diet soda after reading yet another article about how bad artificial sweetener is for you, I replaced it with a cup of Earl Gray tea. And holy cow! I love it!
So then I start thinking...some mornings, I get a little jittery after my coffee. I know, I'm a total wuss. Two cups of coffee and I have the mid-morning jitters. But I love sipping a couple of cups of hot coffee during breakfast and while I read the news and emails in the morning. Sipping my coffee while I get ready. I need some caffeine but maybe I need a little less. So I tried replacing one of my cups of coffee with a cup of black tea. And by Jove! I love it!
So now I have cut out my serious coffee habit. And I haven't had any headaches or jitters. Although I think everyone has decided I might be the weirdest person they know...
No. Not sweet tea. Yes, I have been drinking it all of my memorable life. And yes, I do love it.
But I have discovered that I LOVE - in all caps here - LOVE hot tea. It's become a neat sort of fascination. I've spent time online looking up new flavors to try and cannot wait to finish off a box so I can try something new.
Yeah...I'm pretty sure all my co-workers have decided that I've lost my mind.
It all started because I wanted to cut out my daily diet soda. Since I had Elly, I've only allowed myself one diet soda per day. Typically a Diet Dr. Pepper. And I drink it with my lunch every day. During my weight loss journey I read that a cup of hot Green Tea in the afternoon could help with weight loss. So I started drinking a hot tea in the afternoons with a small snack. And even though I'm not trying to lose weight now, I continue to have my cup of tea because I discovered I really enjoyed it.
Keep in mind, I'm the type of person who would love to sit around and drink hot coffee all day. Except I just cannot do the caffeine. If I have coffee in the afternoon, I'm up all night. So coffee was never an option. But tea, all teas, have dramatically less caffeine than a cup of coffee.
So, as I attempted to cut out my diet soda after reading yet another article about how bad artificial sweetener is for you, I replaced it with a cup of Earl Gray tea. And holy cow! I love it!
So then I start thinking...some mornings, I get a little jittery after my coffee. I know, I'm a total wuss. Two cups of coffee and I have the mid-morning jitters. But I love sipping a couple of cups of hot coffee during breakfast and while I read the news and emails in the morning. Sipping my coffee while I get ready. I need some caffeine but maybe I need a little less. So I tried replacing one of my cups of coffee with a cup of black tea. And by Jove! I love it!
So now I have cut out my serious coffee habit. And I haven't had any headaches or jitters. Although I think everyone has decided I might be the weirdest person they know...
Screen Time Guilt
Am I the only parent who wrestles with guilt over screen time?
I am typically a bit of a Nazi about how much TV the girls watch. Or I try to be. Their TV time each day is pretty limited. And they don't get to play video games or on my phone or iPad unless its some sort of special event. The TV turns off at the same time every morning and we have plenty of non-tv time together daily.
However, I frequently worry about them watching too much television. Pediatricians recommend children 2 and up have no more than 2 hours of screen time per day. And we exceed that. Though that time isn't spent with them mindless watching television. I interact with them while they watch tv and they typically only half way watch the screen. Still, I worry.
On bad days, when the kids won't stop fighting or whining or I feel bad or none of slept the night before, the television is a great crutch. Turn it on and I can take a breath. There is thirty minutes of peace. But then I feel guilty about it. Should I have tried harder to make them play with some toys? Or sent them to their room? What could I have done differently?
Despite the guilt, sometimes you just have to do whatever you have to do for everyone to get through the day. Especially with babies, which I really feel both of mine still qualify as. Keeping everyone happy and healthy might balance out that extra episode or three of Dora.
And I certainly don't let my kids watch any "grown up" programming. So at least they aren't spending a couple hours a day watching violence or sex or learning bad language. So maybe it's not too bad.
I am typically a bit of a Nazi about how much TV the girls watch. Or I try to be. Their TV time each day is pretty limited. And they don't get to play video games or on my phone or iPad unless its some sort of special event. The TV turns off at the same time every morning and we have plenty of non-tv time together daily.
However, I frequently worry about them watching too much television. Pediatricians recommend children 2 and up have no more than 2 hours of screen time per day. And we exceed that. Though that time isn't spent with them mindless watching television. I interact with them while they watch tv and they typically only half way watch the screen. Still, I worry.
On bad days, when the kids won't stop fighting or whining or I feel bad or none of slept the night before, the television is a great crutch. Turn it on and I can take a breath. There is thirty minutes of peace. But then I feel guilty about it. Should I have tried harder to make them play with some toys? Or sent them to their room? What could I have done differently?
Despite the guilt, sometimes you just have to do whatever you have to do for everyone to get through the day. Especially with babies, which I really feel both of mine still qualify as. Keeping everyone happy and healthy might balance out that extra episode or three of Dora.
And I certainly don't let my kids watch any "grown up" programming. So at least they aren't spending a couple hours a day watching violence or sex or learning bad language. So maybe it's not too bad.
Elly's First Procedure
It has been more than two weeks since I posted. I am so sorry! I don't really have any good excuse. But anytime I get busy or get other things on my mind, it is hard to focus long enough to compose a blog.
Elly had her first laser procedure last Friday. I was not the emotional wreck that I anticipated I would be. In fact, I managed not to cry the whole time. It was really hard watching them take my baby away, back into the hospital. My tiny, precious girl who never leaves me unless she is with my mom or husband. She has stayed for a few hours alone with my step dad. But he has never taken her out anywhere alone. She's my little home body. But I didn't want to upset her by sitting around the hospital bawling while we waited for the nurses to take her back. And I didn't want to cry when she left me, because that would make leaving me scary. So I took deep breaths and reminded myself that everything was going to be fine and said half a dozen prayers.
Luckily, the procedure took almost no time. My mother and I went back out into the waiting room and got settled. We each checked email and Facebook on our phones. By the time we got bored with that and had each gotten out a book, the nurse was calling my name over the intercom. The walk to pick up the phone to talk to the doctor was scary, I have to say. That was the "Dear God, please let her be okay. Let her be fine. Please," moment of terror. It had gone so quickly that I couldn't believe that they were already done. I was terrified that something had gone wrong! But nope. She was fine. Doctor gave me a brief run down of how things went, what to do over the next couple of weeks and reminded me that his office would call me to set up the next appointment. Two hours after arriving at the hospital we were on our way home.
Her next procedure is in mid-June. Her eye doctors appointment is a few weeks away as well. The possibility of something being wrong with her eye is a little scary. But the fact that she's had no developmental delays or problems leads me to believe that she is probably fine. Still since the doctor recommended we get her checked, we are DEFINITELY getting her checked. With almost any medical issue, early treatment is key. So "let's wait and see" just won't cut it. Especially not with something so vital as eyes.
We will have at least 2 more trips to the hospital for laser procedures. Then one more follow up to see how the whole area has healed. Then hopefully we will be done and Elly will be free of this whole thing without even a memory of it!
Elly had her first laser procedure last Friday. I was not the emotional wreck that I anticipated I would be. In fact, I managed not to cry the whole time. It was really hard watching them take my baby away, back into the hospital. My tiny, precious girl who never leaves me unless she is with my mom or husband. She has stayed for a few hours alone with my step dad. But he has never taken her out anywhere alone. She's my little home body. But I didn't want to upset her by sitting around the hospital bawling while we waited for the nurses to take her back. And I didn't want to cry when she left me, because that would make leaving me scary. So I took deep breaths and reminded myself that everything was going to be fine and said half a dozen prayers.
Luckily, the procedure took almost no time. My mother and I went back out into the waiting room and got settled. We each checked email and Facebook on our phones. By the time we got bored with that and had each gotten out a book, the nurse was calling my name over the intercom. The walk to pick up the phone to talk to the doctor was scary, I have to say. That was the "Dear God, please let her be okay. Let her be fine. Please," moment of terror. It had gone so quickly that I couldn't believe that they were already done. I was terrified that something had gone wrong! But nope. She was fine. Doctor gave me a brief run down of how things went, what to do over the next couple of weeks and reminded me that his office would call me to set up the next appointment. Two hours after arriving at the hospital we were on our way home.
Her next procedure is in mid-June. Her eye doctors appointment is a few weeks away as well. The possibility of something being wrong with her eye is a little scary. But the fact that she's had no developmental delays or problems leads me to believe that she is probably fine. Still since the doctor recommended we get her checked, we are DEFINITELY getting her checked. With almost any medical issue, early treatment is key. So "let's wait and see" just won't cut it. Especially not with something so vital as eyes.
We will have at least 2 more trips to the hospital for laser procedures. Then one more follow up to see how the whole area has healed. Then hopefully we will be done and Elly will be free of this whole thing without even a memory of it!
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