In Another Life...

So, do you think there is one single person out there for each of us?

No really. Think about it.

Katie Perry's recent hit, "In Another Life" made me really think about it the other night on the way home. And I just wondered if anyone really believed in fate and destiny any more? In this day and age it just seems difficult to believe.

Like any little girl I grew up wanting to believe in fairy tales and Prince Charming. Then of course I grew up a bit and entered the dating world and quickly came to realize that the only way I would meet Prince Charming was at Disney World.

But if you do believe there is one person out there for each of us, how does it work? What a lot of stress and pressure looking for that one, single, solitary person. I just don't believe it. I don't know, for me it's just too much to try to buy into.

Not that I don't think that there are people each of us can be happy with.

And I totally believe that marriage can be forever. I think it is incredibly difficult, but possible. Just because of how much people change over the years. I think back to guys I dated 10 years ago, who I of course thought I was going to be with FOREVER (note the eye roll), and I think how preposterous it was. How much different I am now. How completely naive and unrealistic such expectations were for a 16 year old.

One of the things that makes it the hardest for me to buy into the whole destiny, one person for each of us, is my mom. She is quite happily married now. To a really great guy who I hope she's going to be happy with for a long time. And I think that this is probably who she's supposed to be with. But I don't think she could have been with him 30 years ago. And if she had of some how managed to meet him 30 years ago (when their age difference would have made a difference since he's a few years her junior and they lived in completely different states) then my brother and I wouldn't be here. Or we certainly would look different. My step dad has blonde hair and blue eyes and I got my dark hair and eyes from my biological dad. I may have complained about my non-generic look a decade ago, but these days I love it.

I find it hard to believe that my mom shouldn't have been with my dad. Ya know, since that would sorta void me out. But I also don't believe she should have stayed with him and worked out their issues. Although he had a promising outlook when they got married, some how or other he lost all his motivation and has STILL not made anything of himself. He STILL doesn't have anything to show for his half a century of living. Other than two kids who he never sees or talks to. And two granddaughters, one of which he's never even met. But I don't really feel like he can take much credit for any of us.

I believe that for each of us, there are several someones out there that we can be happy with. Each of us walks a path from day one to day 32,850. We make choices, left or right. The blue shirt or the red shirt. Four year university or local college. Super size my value meal? Take the stairs? Go for the bigger tv? That's what living is all about. So how can you think that with the billions of choices you make every day that the path is some how preplanned and ordained and you're going to meet Mr. Right at some point and end up married happily ever after?

Too many people get divorced for the RIGHT reasons and too many people get married for the WRONG reasons for me to swallow such a logic. It doesn't mean I don't believe it God (I do) or that I'm not a Christian (I am) or that I don't think my husband and I will be together for 30 years (I will be 51! Wow!). I am quite happy.

So, all of this train of thought from a Katie Perry song. Go figure. Driving home from Boone in the dark listening to the radio can apparently bring to mind all sorts of weird things.

Our Christmas Disaster...Averted

I realized that I haven't blogged in a week. And when I don't blog for a few days my inner monologue gets to be a bit obnoxious. Writing out my thoughts, tapping away on the keyboard, somehow helps to flush out my brain. I sleep better. And I don't sit around gnawing over thoughts and events quite so much.

Needless to say, mentally, I really need to blog more often. So I'm sorry if I subject you, the innocent reader, to some crappy blogs. But some days I feel the need to blog even though I don't have much to blog about. Today however isn't one of those days.

I realized while I was stalking around Facebook that I have never posted anything aside from two status updates about our Christmas disaster. If you happen to be one of those weird people who manage to get by day to day without Facebook, then you might not know anything about my disaster.

Last Monday, (after my post about how in the holiday spirit I was, of course) we come home to find our Christmas tree collapsed in the floor. I had my hands full of bags and babies and Evie rushes into the living room and starts yelling "Santa's coming! Santa! Santa!" And at first, it is hilarious. No really. I laughed. Out loud. Evie probably doesn't remember last Christmas. And she certainly didn't get the whole Santa-Jesus-Christmas tree-presents thing then either way. This year she totally does. But she's a newbie to this whole thing so she will be the first to tell you that she doesn't necessarily get all the details.

She didn't know she was supposed to sit on Santa's lap (oops! my bad) so meeting Santa kinda threw her. She doesn't really understand the circumstances under which Santa arrives (we don't have a chimney and she doesn't know what a sugarplum is or why it would dance). She's never seen a reindeer nor does she remember any snowmen (be they magical talking ones or just plain stand alone ones) but she has danced around the Christmas tree. And she can tell you why we give gifts on Christmas (Jesus' birthday!) and name several of Santa's deer. This whole thing is still really new to her.

So for all Evie knew, coming home to find the Christmas tree laid out meant it was time to open presents. So Evie was excited. And her jumping up and down and running around the tree was pretty funny. Then I realized that the tree hadn't just fallen over, the tree had actually BROKEN. And I cried.

Here I was home alone with two babies, with a Christmas tree that weighs as much as me laid out across the living room, ornaments and decorations strewn everywhere, and I couldn't even pick the tree back up. What was I going to do??

Well, first I cried. Then I called my mom. Yeah. I guess you never get too old, right? My mom didn't really know what to do either. But she stayed on the phone with me while I wrestled the tree back into an upright position, straining something in my back and muttering bad words while loudly reminding my two-year-old to stay in the kitchen with her sister.

With the tree propped up in the corner, I could survey the damage. And cried again. Evie patted my shoulder, upset that I was upset. I tried to explain that I was sad because the tree was broken. She told me it would be okay. That Daddy would buy us a new one. I took a deep breath and tried to decide what to do to get us through the night at least.

Initially I thought that the tree was pretty much beyond saving. The stand itself was shattered (hence the falling). Decorations were everywhere and I figured there were several broken. Branches appeared to have broken off. More were bent and seriously disfigured. Lights were hanging helter skelter.

Did I mention that I cried? Yeah. This whole thing just broke my heart! Less than two weeks before Christmas and our tree was done. Dead. Broken and unusable. I was just so sad! Such a centerpiece in holiday festivities and our home would be without one. This year feels like the beginning of all of our Christmases. You know what I mean? This is the first year there are all four of us. Odds are good this is all of the Dowd children so this year everyone can start learning what our holiday traditions are going to be. This is when we are really starting holiday traditions as far as they're concerned. Making Jesus a birthday cake. Finding our elf every day. Writing letters to Santa. Christmas Eve at their grandparents. Spreading reindeer food. Making cookies for Santa. Waking up to all the presents on Christmas. This is the beginning of all those traditions for them. This year, it'll all be new. But in a few more years, these activities will be what they look forward to. The only way they will remember. How sad that one year we wouldn't have a tree! Elly's first Christmas and there would be no tree in the background of our pictures.

So yeah, I was upset.

As we picked up all the pieces of the tree and started gathering up all the ornaments I was relieved to learn that none of the ornaments were broken. And in fact none of the branches were broken either. All we needed was an artificial tree stand. Unfortunately, we couldn't find any of those. We checked around online and the local stores said they'd never even seen one.

Even if we wanted to buy a new one, all the local stores were pretty much down to bare pickings. I didn't really know what the best decision would be. Get a real tree? Borrow a friend's spare? Go without?

The next morning was a sad morning. We all felt really disappointed about the tree. Seemed like all four of us were grouchy and ill.

My husband made a last ditch effort to find a tree stand by checking ALL the local stores. And in a discount store that I didn't even know carried Christmas tree stuff, he found a tree stand. A durable, heavy duty tree stand for an artificial tree. An hour later he had the tree back up and all the ornaments were back on it. By the next day holiday joy had returned to our home.

So that is how our Christmas was ruined and saved...all in a 24 hour period.

So 5 days left until the OFFICIAL Christmas day. Are you ready?

Totally Gettin Into the Holidays

If you know me you would probably argue that I have been into the holiday spirit for sometime now. Months even.

And you'd be correct. I have been totally obsessed with Christmas for quite awhile. I am always a little nuts for Christmas, but this year has been much more severe due to the kids. This year Evie really "gets" Christmas and that makes it so much more exciting.

But this weekend really marked the start to the holiday season for me. I mean, I've had my Christmas tree up for weeks, had the Christmas music in the car, have been watching Christmas movies, etc. But as excited as I have been about Christmas I didn't really feel like I was in the Christmas spirit. I hadn't caught myself humming Christmas music. Or been really into the Christmas movies.

This weekend that all changed.

It started Friday morning. A quick shopping trip with Evie to get some peppermint oil, Christmas ornaments and pick up the Christmas pictures. Strolling around Main Street all bundled up with Evie was just perfect. Her asking lots of questions and giggling and talking away. Then picking our Christmas ornaments, while not the cheapest endeavor (that girl has EXPENSIVE taste!), was a blast. Evie was so excited to put the new ornaments on the tree when we got home so we did that and showed off the pictures. They turned out great!

After work finished I up the Christmas cards, which isn't nearly the chore I'm always afraid it will be.

Saturday morning we had a fun family morning just hanging out around the house. We cleaned up and made a mess. Then had pizza for lunch. Then Evie and I made red and white play clay (a.k.a play dough), added peppermint oil and glitter. After naps, we packaged the peppermint play dough as gifts for each of Evie's friends. Then I let Evie use all of our cookie cutters to play with the left over play dough. Which there was a TON of. It was so much fun!

Sunday we went to see Santa and watched Christmas movies. Also we completed our annual tradition of making sugar cookies. Despite my fears, Evie did a great job with all of it. No tantrums. No screaming. No crying.

It was an awesome weekend! And I am so much into the holiday spirit now!

I'm so counting down the days until Christmas.

And Evie was so funny this morning. Listening to Christmas music on the way into work, "Santa Claus is coming to town" and Evie yells "Momma! Santa Claus is coming!"

Pinterest for the Holidays

Okay, so Pinterest is like the COOLEST thing ever.

It's also awful. I repeat, awful. It is so terribly addictive!

However, it has a lot of potential to seriously enrich the lives of my children. And maybe me. I've found the best cookie recipe ever. And my children have made their very first handmade Christmas decorations. I'm currently trying to talk my mom (a.k.a their daycare) into making some more ornaments that I just found when they are there next week. Wish me luck.

Tomorrow, Evie and I have a Pinterest project planned. I plan on taking pictures and doing a post because this will be our first lil project in awhile. We're both stoked.

So, I dunno about you guys but my December has been really busy.

Have you guys been busy? The hectic busy or just plenty to do?

Mine has actually been the good kind. The no-bored-but-not-stressed kind. You know that kind? I've been doing some baking. The previously mentioned Cookie recipe was delicious and is going to be absolutely perfect for my work Christmas party (whenever that may be...probably mid January lol). I hate taking an untried recipe to a party. You never know what you might end up with.

When I was little, every year around Christmas my mom would make sugar dough cookies from scratch and roll out the dough for us to cut out cookies. I always loved the tradition and it's one I want to continue with my girls. However last year I made the from-scratch cookies, and it was a HUGE pain with a little person running around. I can't imagine doing it with TWO little people. So we're going to hold off on the from-scratch cookies and go with the recipe-in-a-bag Betty Crocker ones. Way simpler when you have impatient little helpers pulling on your pants leg. Evie will still get to cut out cookies. I have plans for laying down some wax paper on the table and letting her have at it. That event will be NEXT weekend. Probably. If tomorrow's project goes really well, it might be this weekend.

Sorry to be so secret about tomorrow's project. But it a surprise for some people who actually (reportedly, lol) read this blog! So I will have to wait a little bit before revealing tomorrow's project. Hopefully by next weekend I will get to post about it though.

I'm really done with Christmas shopping now. Stocking stuffers are packed in the closet. The last Santa gift arrived yesterday. And yes, I was FINALLY able to get Rapunzel. I cannot wait to see Evie's face when she tears open that box on Christmas morning! It will be so worth the countless hours spent scouring the internet and stalking the Disney website.

I think all of the Christmas arrangements have been finalized. As far as when we're going where and with whom. With two grandbabies we do have a little bit of negotiating power. We have finangled our way into getting Christmas Eve at my mom's house. And moved it to lunchtime to allow for happier babies and make it possible for their Daddy to be there. Though his presence may be short-lived since he will have to work. The girls will be more comfortable in the familiar location so they won't require that warming up time that is necessary if you take them to a strange house and surround them with strange people. Plus there won't be rushing home to get girls into bed. If necessary, they can nap there!

For those who don't know, usually my Christmas Eve routine is supper at my grandparents house followed by opening their presents to us. It is a blast and we get to see some family members that we don't see very often. But with the girls it was going to be difficult to get up there for supper, with their late naps. And we would have had to rush home for Elly's bottle and bed.

This will be much much easier on me. And my kids. Then Christmas Day will be at our house. My parents will probably come over and do a leftovers sort of lunch.

I'm excited. Can you tell?

So, are you ready for Christmas? What do you have left?

Wish us luck tomorrow. Any arts and crafts with a two-year-old can be touch and go.

Is Child Obesity Child Abuse?

In July, Dr. David Ludwig published an article in the Journal of the American Medical Association stating that he felt that childhood obesity was child abuse and in severe cases the state should step in and seize custody.

Do you agree with Dr. Ludwig?

Over the course of my lifetime childhood obesity has gone from non-existent to an out-of-control health risk. It costs tax payers billions of dollars every year to pay for medical treatments. BILLIONS. Because of childhood obesity, dozens of other health problems have also increased astronomically as my generation is reaching an age where our poor health a decade ago is beginning to really impact our daily lives. High blood pressure, high cholesterol, Type 2 Diabetes, hypertension, depression, joint problems, respiratory problems, thyroid problems...on and on, the list goes.

Did you know that obese people, people who eat themselves to the point that their joints can no longer support them and their heart and lungs cannot tolerate any exertion, can qualify for disability? They eat Whoppers and Big Macs three or four times a day and sit on their couch, then they get on disability and welfare and food stamps. Then those of us who work 40 hours a week pay for their food and their housing and their health care. It is, pardon my french, bull shit.

People are up in arms about drug testing for welfare. What about not letting people who made THEMSELVES disabled get on welfare? That would save us millions of dollars each year. Then maybe social services could afford to help people who actually DESERVE help instead of those who refused to help themselves.

And what about these people who not only do this kind of damage to themselves, but to their children as well? I was in Wal-Mart one day and saw an incredibly obese woman on one of those electric shopping carts. Now, I didn't stop her and ask how she ended up there. She may have a thyroid condition. She may have been in a horrific accident which left her disabled and led her to her being overweight. I try not to judge people. I REALLY do. But riding on the back of her electric shopping cart was a very, very overweight little boy. And in her shopping basket, were honey buns, ding dongs, white bread, candy, microwave meals, etc. Not a single green and leafy item was in there. Not even something that was at one point in time green and leafy. I was so upset that I had to literally bite my tongue and clench my fists and flee that aisle.

Childhood obesity is a complicated issue. I don't believe there should be a blanket rule that overweight children come from unfit parents and therefore those parents should lose custody of their children. And I don't know that the state is going to do any better at keeping children healthy and fit than their parents. I'm sure foster care isn't really big on healthy living and active lifestyles. They're more about getting children permanent placement in a system that is already overcrowded.

But I do feel that something should be done to parents who are complacent or even encourage the kind of lifestyle that leads to childhood obesity. A lot of factors influence a child's weight, from genetics to nutrition to ethnicity. But there are so many ways to fight childhood obesity. Why aren't more parents doing it?

I know what it's like to not have time to cook a big healthy meal every night. Heck, I'm not even with my children for supper five days of the week. But I talk to their caregiver (and yes, that's my mom) regularly about what they're eating at her house. And I say something if I'm concerned that she's offering them unhealthy options. Granted neither my younger brother nor myself are obese and we weren't obese children. So my mom has a good track record already. But even when time is limited, those Green Giant Fresh Steamers from the frozen foods aisle take about 5 minutes to microwave and even my INCREDIBLY picky two-year-old will much on a couple of veggies with her chicken nuggets. And I work really hard to consistently offer at least one healthy meal per day. And overall, I think my kids eat fairly healthy. They get minimal butter and lite syrup with their waffles. Whole grain bread for sandwiches. Goldfish for snacks. Fruits and veggies every day. It's tough to work 40 hours a week and still cook (not to mention clean, laundry, play, exercise, etc. but such is the life of a mom!) but if I can do it, I don't see why any one else can't.

And I hate the excuse that eating healthy is too expensive. My husband and I are just a hairsbreadth above qualifying for Medicaid and WIC, I have large college loans I'm paying off, plus a house and two car payments, not to mention month to month bills, and my kids aren't living off the dollar menu at McDonalds. I cook healthy, wholesome meals for them several days a week. They eat plenty of fruits and veggies, though admittedly they are more often frozen than fresh. We eat white meat instead of beef (turkey-burger and chicken, no ground beef and the REALLY rare hamburger). And despite my near-poverty I haven't eaten out in a month. I could count the times I've eaten at a restaurant (fast food or sit down) this year on my hands. Not many people can do that I figure.

One of the worst things about childhood obesity is that these poor little kids will be affected for the rest of their lives. They will be singled out and picked on. They will be called "fat" and "ugly." They will have health problems. And they will have psychological trauma because of their weight. Maybe society is blame. Maybe the government. Whatever. You can spend the rest of your life griping and pointing fingers, but in the majority of cases childhood obesity is preventable. And it is PARENTS who should be held responsible.

PARENTS who don't lead healthy lives and don't set healthy examples. PARENTS who bring junk food into their homes and make constant grazing acceptable. PARENTS who don't encourage their children to get out of the home. PARENTS who purchase video games and cell phones and computers instead of a basketball net or a soccer ball or a bicycle. It is PARENTS who allow their children to become obese.

And I'm not talking about a pudgy phase where a child has grown out but not up. Or baby fat on an elementary school kid. Or even baby fat on a high school kid. I'm talking about OBESITY. Severely overweight children who will spend the rest of their lives dealing with a slew of medical problems because their PARENTS were too damn sorry to get off the couch and interact with their children.

When I was little, we spent time outside. We ate our veggies. Going out to eat was a special (and rare) treat, not multiple times a week sort of occurrence. We rode our bikes and played basketball in the driveway. (Not to mention weeded flowerbeds, cleaned house, fed and watered horses and chickens and dogs and pigs, mucked stalls, etc.) Even after GameBoys and Nintendos, I remember being forced out of the house to play. So why can't parents do that today?

So do I think it's child abuse? Heck yeah I do! If you have a child who is morbidly obese and a very serious medical condition didn't make him that way, you are an abusive parent. There is absolutely, beyond a shadow of doubt, no excuse for that. As a parent, it would kill me to know that I had caused my child such pain. Mentally, physically and socially.

I am not a perfect parent. Some days I'm a LONG ways from it. In my house we do eat the occasional cheeseburger, there are frozen french fries in my freezer, and my toddler is more likely to eat a chicken nugget than a salad. We have buttery popcorn on movie night and a frozen pepperoni pizza for lunch some Saturdays. We aren't vegans or vegetarians or health nuts. I don't shop organic or keep fresh fruits in the fridge. But I make a conscious effort to keep us healthy and active. And I don't think that is too much to ask of any parent. It's for the kids, after all.

What do you think? Do you actively try to keep your kids healthy? Or do you just live healthy and hope they follow suit?

When Do I Get to be ME?

So, here I am 10 months after my last pregnancy. Im just now at the halfway point in pregnant versus not. It was in fact about this time 3 years ago that I got pregnant with Evie. Of the last 36 months I have spent 18 months pregnant.

And I still cannot help but wonder when do I get back to being me? Or is this the way things are going to be? I mean I'm okay either way. But dang.

It's like my body will never be my own again. Before I got pregnant I was not a fan of cheese or milk or any dairy really. When I was pregnant with Evie I craved cheese all the time! And I could stand at the fridge and just guzzle milk by the quart. I dealt with it and figured that I would be back to normal after she was born.

But nope. No such luck.

Even now, with Evie nearly 28 months old, I absolutely love cheese. I could eat cheese quesadillas every day. And while before I had a baby I ate various things for breakfast, I have to have cereal every morning now. Sometimes also for supper. Even lunch. It's cray!

My residual from Elly is fortunately not a food craving. Really fortunate because all I craved pickled sausage with her. But absolutely everything makes me cry! I was never a big crier before. Sappy movies, bad days, big fights. None of those really brought on the water works. Even when pregnant with Evie I wasn't a huge crier, but I did cry more than usual. Just had an awful temper.

But when I was pregnant with Elly everything made me cry. And now 10 months afterwards everything still makes me cry. Really! Evie and I were watching Santa Paws last night and I cried when the dog catcher took lil Tiny to live with the sick boy. Seriously. Commercials on tv make me cry. Like the Pampers commercial with the sleeping babies. I cry. Commercials about soldiers coming home for Christmas leave me sobbing. Evie looks at me and cocks her eyebrow like "Really?" Yeah kid. Really.

So, is this me 2.0? Cause I gotta tell ya. It still feels strange. Maybe in a few more months it'll smooth out. Or maybe I will have gotten used to it.

The Thin Line

I think there is an incredibly fine line between indulging your children and spoiling them. When I was younger I scoffed at parents who got their kids sooo much stuff. Because they were so obviously just giving their kid anything and everything they asked for. The kids knew no limits. Never heard "no."

I still scoff at those parents but now that I have kids of my own I can totally understand how it's so easy to do. Getting your kids things they want is pretty difficult to resist. It's hard to explain to someone who doesn't have kids how much love you feel for those lil people. But other parents totally know what I'm saying. Even when they're destroying your house and peeing in the floor and chewing on the window sills. You love your kids SOOO much. You may want to throttle them, but it's because you love them that you're able to resist.

Then when they get old enough to ask for stuff, you have this overwhelming urge to make them happy by getting them what they want. To express your love by indulging their whims. You love them and you want them to be happy. And watching their face light up when they get something they want just absolutely makes your day.

I think I do a really good job January through November as far not spoiling Evie and Elly. Typically we get them a small plush and some candy for Valentine's. They get a small gift on Easter and their Easter baskets. Birthdays are one big toy, some clothes and some books. That's it for our gift giving 11 months of the year. Evie isn't one of those kids who expects to get something every time we go into Walmart. Every once in a blue moon we see a movie that we really love and pick that up. Or a cute book. Or Carter's is having a good sale and I get them a couple of outfits.

By and large, we don't really get them a lot of toys during the year. I can't vouch for their grandparents, who have a tendency to get them little things here and there through the year of course. But isn't that what grand parents are SUPPOSED to do?

As far as Josh and I go, the kids don't get toys except on holidays. Granted, I don't think they're lacking for play things as a result. And I know as they get older and start really asking for things it will be more of a challenge.

With the exception of clothes, which were on an "as needed" basis usually, I don't remember getting things from my parents except on Christmas on birthdays. It's not that we did without or anything. And we could save up our allowances and report card money and buy things for ourselves during the year. But we didn't expect to get something for no reason during the year.

I really hope to continue that sort of thinking with my kids. I don't want them to be spoiled. I don't want them to expect something for nothing on a regular basis. But I can understand how so many parents get sucked into the cycle early on and just can't get out. And I can totally see the reasoning behind wanting to get your kids things they ask for. Especially when it starts off as a Dora movie here or a Princess doll there. Next thing you know you're in too deep and up to your eyeballs in debt trying to keep your little princess happy.

When it comes to Christmas, I'm absolutely horrible about going all out on presents. I mean, nothing ridiculous. I don't spend beyond my means or anything. But even though I said I was done Christmas shopping a month ago, I've bought a couple more things that I've come across and thought the girls would just love. Nothing over the top or outrageously priced. And not because I think they'll be devastated if they don't get it. Realistically I know Elly will be WAY more thrilled with the paper than the toys this year. But I get them toys because I really enjoy giving them things. And it's really the one time of year that I do really go all out. I mean, I'm giving them toys, but I'm also giving them both clothes that they need and books to grow their lil brains.

So that's not spoiling them...is it? Or is it?